Rotten Mango - #184: The Tiger Mom Killer (Case of Yuan Xi Tang)

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

Tom was shaking after the call. A mysterious woman had called to tell him that she knew where his missing mother was. He didn’t know if it was a scam or a real lead. All he knew was that the police weren’t doing enough. So that’s how he found himself at a random Starbucks waiting for the mysterious caller. When she walked in, he knew that she had something up her sleeve. The confidence. The secrets behind her eyes. At the end of their meeting, he passed him a piece of paper with a number on there… “I’m part of the Triad here in Vancouver, and we know what happened to your mom. Don’t trust the police. Trust me. I can help. Call us.” Full Source Notes: rottenmangopodcast.com To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome to this week's main episode of Rotten Mango. I'm your host Stephanie Sue. And it had been months, you know, the police hadn't done enough. Tom was out there every single day shouting his mom's name. He was handing out posters to people asking, have you seen this woman? Have you seen her? He was frantic. He would always get the same looks.

He's kind of used to it now. The looks of alarms, some people would look at him like he was losing his mind. Like he was becoming unhinged. Maybe he's too unpredictable for them. He was drenched in sweat in the summer sun, just pushing a picture of a random woman into people's spaces. Some people looked at him like they were scared of him. Others just looked at him with pity.

Just total and utter pity. It's hard to say which one was worse. You could say that Tom was pretty desperate at this point. You know, that's the only reason that he ended up here, sitting at a Starbucks, waiting for this mysterious woman to arrive. She had plucked his number off one of the missing person's posters, that he had stapled to practically every single pole, every single surface in this town. She called, saying that she had information. The woman walked in. And you could tell she was confident, you know,

just the way that she walked, just the way that she carried herself. She was tall, unbothered, and unamishant of sorts. She sat down in front of Tom, and she told him, I know where your mom is. I haven't called the police yet. If you want to know more, you have to pay me. What?

What kind of sick game is that? Tom just wanted to yell, just tell me, where is my mom? But he didn't. And at the end, later, the woman handed Tom a card with the number on there. I'll be honest with you, Tom. We're part of the triad. The organized crime syndicate in China,

we run the Vancouver Division. Listen, we know what happened, and unlike the police, we don't judge anyone. So just give us a call. Let us help you. And with that, the woman rushed happened, and unlike the police, we don't judge anyone. So just give us a call. Let us help you. And with that, the woman rushed off and Tom was left holding a suspicious card with a number on there. Calling that number would change Tom's entire life.

Should he do it? As always, full show notes are available at ronmangopodcast.com. A lot of today's sources are in Chinese since this is a Chinese case. I had a ton of articles professionally translated, but as always with any international case, or even if it's not, if there's anything that I left out or got lost in translation, please let me know. Also, I just really want to know more about this case. So if you have more information, feel free to let me know on that too, because it's just such a puzzling case where I don't

know, it just makes you think. It's one of those cases where at the end you're going to be, there's going to be a lot of thoughts and a lot of what is life? Like how are we supposed to live? But first let's get in to the attempted murder trial. It was kind of a bizarre atmosphere. There's no better way to describe the energy. It's cold in the courtroom. The jurors had just filed in with their cups of coffee that they just downed in the back, and now they're sitting in the courtroom, trying to be respectful, right?

Trying to do their jobs that they're called upon to do. They're trying not to make too much strong of eye contact with the defendant. It's a little awkward. They watched as the prosecutors and the defense attorneys are shuffling through their notes, passing notes to one another, objecting the other side, objection. It was similar to the movies they had to admit.

It was just longer, much longer, and much more tiresome. The jurors were tasked with a very important responsibility. To see if the defendant was guilty of attempted murder. So far it wasn't looking so good for them. There was already audio of them asking someone to kill for them. The jurors were pretty clear on what the verdict would be. The confusion only started when the victim,

the person the defendant tried to have killed, walked into the courtroom. And before court was in session, the victim walked straight up to the defendant, the person who is on trial for trying to kill this person, and asked, are you cold? Did you eat yet? You did? Okay. And gives him a thumbs up. I'm sorry, what? The prosecutors, they're trying to fight for justice for the victim, but they, they're still friendly with the defendant.

The attempted murder, they just tried to kill you. The jurors heads, I mean, they're spinning like what the hell is going on. They have never heard of a case like this. But it doesn't really even start with the attempted murder case. It starts with a different case, a missing persons case. This is a doozy. So in the early hours of July 8th 2012, the Vancouver police started working on a missing persons report. This one was a little bit peculiar. At first glance,

it looked like every other missing persons case. It looked like it was going to be frustrating, heartbreaking, emotionally draining for every party involved. But as it developed, weird things started happening. Here's how it unfolded. A man named Yanxi Tang. Yuanxi Tang. Tang Yuanxi. We're going to call him Tang. Tang, yes.

So Tang was in his early 20s, and he had called the police about how his own mother was missing. He sounded concerned. But more astonished. I mean, nobody blames him. It was a weird puzzling experience. He was shocked that she was gone. Well, Tom, tell us what happened. I mean, it was weird.

My parents are visiting from China. I'm in Vancouver, of course, and because I don't have enough space they were staring at this local hotel. It's kind of more like a bed in breakfast, like one of those motels. And regardless, they're staying there. I went to go pick them up to drop them off at the airport to catch their flight back to China, and I went into their hotel room.

Both of my parents are there. My dad is asleep and I was like, okay, let me start moving the bags into the car first. And then I'll come back, wake up dad, and fetch them to go get some breakfast. So I'm holding all of this heavy luggage, struggling a bit. And as I leave the hotel room, my mom is watching me walk down from the door of the room. Like, you know, those motels you can see into the parking lot.

No. Here's the part that I'm just so genuinely puzzled by. When I get back, she's gone. I mean, just poof. Gone. Just like that. We looked everywhere. We looked at the motel. We looked at the parking lot. She was gone. I don't just poof. Gone. Just like that. We looked everywhere. We looked at the motel.

We looked at the parking lot. She was gone. I don't know what happened, but I need help officers. We have spent hours looking for her. We have spent the whole day, really, but we still cannot find her anywhere. See, not a normal missing person's case. It was indeed puzzling.

So the officers, they were confused. I mean, it's just so random. How does nobody know where the mom went? She's probably not missing then, right? Maybe she went off to run an errand or two. They asked Tom. I mean, considering how strange the circumstances are, do you think you have an inkling of where your mom might have gone?

Well, at first, my father and I thought that she wandered off to go buy some some snacks That they could eat on the plane, you know, it's a long ride So of course we searched the local malls the convenience stores the grocery stores I mean we've already been but even if she went to go get snacks she would have been back by now Well, maybe she was running late and she went to the airport to meet you guys there But didn't have a phone so she couldn't contact you The police suggest that Tom and his dad check out the airport. See if she's there. They do.

And they even have the inner-con system run over and over again. Lien-ji guao. Guolienshi. We're going to call her li'en. Li'en, please come to the nearest gate to get some help. Li'en, please come to the nearest gate to get some help. But nothing. Tom and his dad are anxiously pacing at the gate. The flight is about to board soon. And Tom's

thinking, okay, well, what do we do? What do we do? The time is of the essence. We've got to make some decisions right now. Dad, there's no point in you staying here any longer too. It's not like you can even help much. You don't speak the language. You need to go back home. You've got work to take care of other things. Why don't you board the flight, go home, and I'm going to keep looking for mom here. I mean, I know she's going to turn up. Like, she didn't go anywhere. Come on, it must be some sort of misunderstanding. Tom's dad hesitantly boards this plane. I mean, he trusts his son, but he almost feels guilty leaving because his wife is nowhere to be found. But maybe Tom was right. He could go back home and talk to the Chinese consulate

and Vancouver from China. It'll be easier then. Yeah, that's what he'll do. Meanwhile, Tom is working heavily with the Canadian police, but it's not effective. He's increasingly getting frustrated. Like, what do you think is going on? She's missing.

The police kind of give him an inkling. That they think that she's trying to stay here illegally. Hmm. We think that she came here on a tourist visa. We've seen this a lot. She probably wants to stay, so she's not going back to China, and she's trying to become an illegal immigrant. And you know what, Tom, there is a part of me that thinks you're a part of it, but we

can't say that to his face, you know. The whole story doesn't make sense. How does somebody go missing like that in that short time frame? And you guys are all here. You guys were all there. Yeah, that's what the police were saying. If someone trying to stay, why would he call the police? They're divorced.

Exactly. The police don't even think about that until two weeks later. So two weeks pass, and there's still no sight of Tom's mom anywhere. She was nowhere to be found. Tom's dad is like, I gotta go back. I gotta go back to Vancouver. I feel trapped.

I feel completely useless on the other side of the world just waiting for the phone to ring. And hopefully I hear my wife's voice, like I have to do something. So when Tom's dad comes back, the two of them, they go to the police station over and over and over again. Like you need to help us. Hello? How is Leon still missing? And now the police are thinking,

oh, maybe we should take this little seriously. That is weird, because you know what? Now that you pointed out, if Leon was trying to stay here illegally, why would anybody alert the authorities? That's just, that's the last thing and the legal immigrant would want to do is get involved in any shape or way with the authorities. Also, she left her passport. And all of her clothes are with her family and their luggage. She had no money, no cash on her. And I mean, what in how could a Chinese woman who spoke no English, she wasn't fluent at all.

She couldn't even read street signs. How could she stay hidden for that long? And there's no way that Tom is hiding her because he's coming to the police station like every day like help me find my mother. Okay, now, now the police start treating it like a regular missing person's case, which I don't know, two weeks too late buddies, but they start asking the questions. Did Leanne have any enemies? No? Any debt? No. Wishing you mentally ill at the time. No. Does she have any history of mental illness? No. All of the answers were just no, no, no, and no. I mean, the police were stumped. All they could do was pass the case on to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, which

is the RCMP. It's kind of like the FBI. So the RCMP they take over the case. They start looking for Leanne. And the first thing that they noticed was her son, but not in a bad way, in a good way. Let's talk about Chinese culture real quick. In most cultures, family is everything. I mean, you hear that all around the world. What's the most important thing to you? Family. And eastern Asians take it to a pretty extreme level. And I don't mean extreme as an, oh, eastern Asians love their parents more than anybody else does.

The love is stronger over there. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I think eastern Asian views on family can be quite toxic. For China, it started a long time ago. So the idea is filial piety. It's been around for centuries, but it was more solidified in a book about the alleged conversation between

Confucius and his student. Confucius, he's teaching his pupil about how filial piety is the best way to set up a society. To have a society that focuses on producing good, that is efficient, that is productive, and not focused on crime, you need to have people that are family oriented. That's the secret sauce. The ideal community, the ideal society. Why? Because that type of respect towards your family, it's not just being good to your parents. It's not just being nice to them and loving them. It's about taking care of them and also making sure that they look good

to the outside world, not bringing shame to the family. So would you go commit a crime if that's one of your deepest core values is to not bring shame to the family? You probably wouldn't, because you're terrified. It's the idea that every single person not only represents themselves as individuals, but as their whole family.

Yeah, it's like carry on the last name. You can bring shame to the family. Yes. Everything is like, hush, hush, don't spread the family shame. That's so fascinating. This is definitely more traditional, like a couple generations ago. Yeah. Even my grandpa, I think. He's getting a little more open-minded.

I'm telling him, look, if we don't want kids, we don't want kids. Because back in the days, if you don't deliver a kid, that's like the biggest shame to the family. You're basically ending your whole legacy. But nowadays, you know, they start to get it. It's our life as long as we're good. That's so fascinating. Koreans are like that a bit, yeah. I agree.

You always have to show love and respect and support and be courteous and ensure that you produce male errors for your family was a big thing that Confucius was all about. It was considered a high virtue in Chinese culture and it's everywhere. I mean, one of the most famous collections of historical stories is called the 24 cases of philial piety like why would I read that book that sounds so boring What pack it's called the 24 cases of philial piety or something. I'm assuming it's about kids that will die for their family Okay, I think we're being brainwashed by parents It's literally what it sounds like, yeah.

And the historian named Hugh Baker said, respect for the family is the one element common amongst all Chinese people, regardless of their religion, their political leaning, and their geographical upbringing. It is just something that is so consistent. So with that being said, the RCMP was getting a firsthand-hand view of all of that,

all of that culture right in front of their eyes. The summers in Vancouver, they're not normally too hot, but that summer in 2012, it felt like the sun was being ruthless. The sun was on its own secret mission to turn every walking human into a strip of bacon like it just had some sort of vengeance towards Canada. A lot of people were not used to it. They weren't used to this level of heat and they opted to stay inside whenever they could. They're like, let's stay in the AC. But if you lived in the area, you would be shocked. Because you would see this Chinese man walking through the streets, sweating through his shirt, carrying stacks of missing persons posters. I mean, it's a humbling experience.

Here we are, complaining about the heat. When this man will weather any storm, any heat wave to try and find his missing mom, I hope one day that I'm a good enough parent that my child will look for me with that amount of conviction. He walked and he walked and he asked anybody who even glanced at him. I'm so sorry, excuse me. Have you seen this woman?

She's my mother. She's been missing for two weeks here. Please, can you please just take this poster? And the police watched him and they were impressed. At a press conference, Tom was asked if he wanted to share a few words. He said, absolutely. His voice was, you know, as steady as it could be in a situation like this.

He said, I have faith in the police to handle the case. And to this day, I am still waiting for my mother to come back. So if anybody finds her, please call the police immediately. My father is heartbroken. He's cherished my mother and misses her so much. Please. The police couldn't help but be moved by his words.

I mean, they are doing the best they could, right? Right? Should they try a little harder? Maybe we could try as hard as Tom. Maybe we can try a little bit harder. So they start re-evaluating the missing person's case. They start going back through all of the details, the initial reports, the 911 call.

And you know, you know that feeling when you're with a group of people, and every single one of you is thinking the same thing. Be like, okay, I can't be the first to say it because it's not the nicest thing that we're thinking. What if there's a chance that nobody else is thinking the same thing? I'm thinking and now I'm just the evil person

that voiced my thoughts. Yeah, that's what the officers were feeling. Because no matter how much they twisted it, no matter which report they read, no matter how many times they watched Tom scour the streets for his mom, the missing person's report always led back to Tom. I imagine them in a room. Okay, let's be hypothetical for a second. Sure, I know it's our job to check on everyone,

but it's always traumatizing to family members when something tragic happens to their loved ones. But now, say that one of them is suspected of foul play. I mean, let's just make sure before we go around pointing fingers at family members, right? We just, they're grieving. So hypothetically speaking, let's say Tom did something to his mom, and that's why she's gone.

What kind of evidence do we have to back this up? Well, he was the last person to see his mom and he was the one that called the police. Both of those sounds could be that he did something. Okay, what else we need more. Oh, well, there's a few separate reports where Tom details what happened and they're all kind of different. There's a few separate reports where Tom details what happened and they're all kind of different. Sometimes they contradict each other. He told one officer that he found his mom missing when he went to go pick them up for the airport. Later, he told another officer that he went to go eat breakfast with his family before

they boarded their flight and she went missing during breakfast. Well, wait, there's more. Here it says that he said his mom was alone in the hotel room when he went to pick them up and then she vanished. But then when you look at this report, it says that his mom was alone in the hotel room when he went to pick them up. And then she vanished. But then when you look at this report, it says that his dad was sleeping in the hotel room, and his mom vanished. So was the mom alone or was the dad there? Was the dad there but he was sleeping?

Huh. Okay. It's not looking good for Tom. Another thing to point out was, it's at that on record, Tom Thomas bin in Canada for six years. But anytime we ask him a question, it's like he's answering it like he doesn't understand. It could be the most simple question and he says he doesn't understand. Which the police do reference this as evidence and I'm not sure how I feel about it, because

if you come from immigrant families, you know the struggle of learning a new language. My mom has been in the US for 30 years. She is still not capable of going to the police station and having a whole interrogation done. I think a lot of the time immigrants hang out with other immigrants that speak their native language, so it just makes it harder for them to learn. But the police felt like he was downplaying his English skills. It didn't feel like he didn't understand the question. It felt like he wanted to avoid the question.

Which again, maybe it's true, we don't really know how fluent Tom is. But then there's other pieces of evidence that are really, really bad. Remember the hotel the parents were staying at? The Airbnb? Yes, well it's like a motel. Well the room right next door to the parents was booked for the same number of days, and the hotel room was under Tom. Tom. You didn't mention to us that you booked the room right next door. Why didn't you mention that? That you also had a room there. Oh well you didn't ask so

I didn't mention it because it wasn't important. My apartment is a bit far from the parents hotel where they were staying and you know they were here for a while so I just rented a room next to them to be closer. Which side note the police knew that Tom's apartment was not that far but they weren't gonna argue about this right now. They had more important things to ask. Okay Tom that's all fine and dandy but maybe you have an explanation for this? We were able to search the hotel room that you had booked right next to your parents. Do you have a reasoning for all the blood stains everywhere?

We found blood stains on the ceilings, the walls, the bedside table, closets, and a long dried blood patch underneath the mattress. I mean, it's evident that you tried to clean up blood, but not very well, it seems. Oh my gosh. We're just waiting on China to help us verify that the DNA is a match to your mother,

but you know, and we know, it's probably going to be a match. Why would you break into these apartments? For money, for drugs, whatever was in there. Why aren't you afraid of getting caught at doing this? No. Who's going to catch us? What a police. It was the height of the crack era, and instead of locking up drug dealers, some New York City cops had become them.

I would suit up in my uniform, and we're going to want some drug dealers, and I know how to do it really well. This is the inside story of the biggest police corruption scandal in NYPD history and the investigation that uncovered it all. Did you consider yourself a rat? 100%. I saved my soul just like everybody else does. Listen to and follow the set, an Odyssey originals documentary podcast series available now in the Odyssey app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your shows. I'm not a big guy man but I love being that dirty mother f***er.

If you ask Tom, he would say he never wanted to kill his mom. That wasn't really part of his schedule. In fact he would say that he loved her. He loved her like any child loves their parents. But she was suffocating. So maybe he saw a fit that she too be suffocated. Tom's parents were for context, were like any other traditional strictation parents. They would do anything for Tom. But I don't mean it in the sense that they would do anything for Tom and he was this spoiled little kid. I meant that they would really only do things

that were good for Tom. And sometimes that meant making Tom's life miserable so that his future could be bright. It was all for Tom at the end of the day. Leanne was pretty adamant that Tom would be even more successful than herself and her husband, which by the way they were pretty successful. They owned a timber business in China, a furniture business. They were considered one of the wealthier residents in their small town.

I mean, they worked hard. But what do they say? It's all for Tom at the end of the day. Listen, I'm not even gonna lie to you. The way that Leanne parented Tom, it's intense. I don't know if I could derive one day in these conditions without bursting into tears. It was a lot.

For example, if Tom ever failed an exam, Leanne would not let him eat, he could not go to bed, all he could do was sit there and study until he proved that he could get a better score on the next exam. Anytime his grades slipped even a tiny little bit, Leanne would take away any semblance of fun, rip it from his hands, and he wouldn't get any of it back until his grades were up again. But it wasn't just his grades. When he came home,

it's not like he just had to be good at school and, you know, study, everything had to be done the way that she liked it. If he came home with hundreds on everything, perfect scores on all of his subjects, she would still be upset with him if he didn't line up his textbooks on his desk exactly the way that she liked it. Which side note, China is really extreme when it comes to grades. Parents have a tendency to be a lot more strict than their Western counterparts, but even in China, this was considered a lot.

Tom said that he was always made fun of bias friends. They said that he was a toddler, even in high school. They joked that he probably couldn't even have an original thought that his mom didn't approve of first. Have you guys heard of the term tiger parents? That's kind of Tom's parents. Tiger parents, if you've never heard of it, it's kind of like helicopter parents. That's just the reference. It was coined and first used to describe Chinese American parents.

And it's still to this day, heavily associated with East Asian, South Asian, and Southeast Asian parenting styles. Tiger parents, they prioritize schoolwork and education above all else. I mean all else. School takes priority over mental health, physical health, developing social skills, happiness, everything. You're depressed, fucking go to school. You're sick today, don't care, go to school. You have no friends who needs them, go to school. You're unhappy, you'll be happy in college, go to school. It was the only importance in every child's life.

So for a while, when all colleges cared about regrets, Tiger parents would not even allow their kids to take part in other school activities, because it's a waste of time. Colleges want the best grades, so spend that extra time studying, beat your peers. But then colleges started wanting more well-rounded students. So yeah, I was on that boat too. I took so many musical instrument tutoring classes, like private lesson classes, piano, I hated it. And what's crazy is my mom is not even a tiger mom, but she still fell into the trap I tell you. Playing classical instruments became a huge flex and a passion for tiger parents.

You wanna play the guitar? I don't think so. Pick up the cello. I just don't get that. Like I don't understand this one bit. What's so cool about your kids knowing an instrument? Yeah, my mom still to this day says, I wish you knew how to play the piano and I said why? So it could be a party trick that nobody cares about because anytime I go to a party, unless you're fucking Mozart and you're playing the piano, I think you're

weird. They always play the threesome. The furliest, yes. Same songs and... Yes, to be fair, if you do see me next year, piano, I will feel morally obligated to play the chopstick song. You know what, the two fingers? The-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the Everything centers around academic achievement and classical instruments and debate team. If you told a tiger parent, hey, I'm gonna make double the money. I'm gonna be happier in this field that doesn't even require a degree.

Maybe I'm gonna be like adored into our salesman. Yeah, they make way more than not lawyer, or at least this company does. It's more money, it's my passion. I'm gonna have so much more fun. I'm gonna be happier. They're gonna be like, no, get a degree, make less money, be a doctor, be a lawyer. It's about the prestige.

Yes, the prestige, the respect, the community member that everybody looks up to. It's, I'm saying because we have trauma. Trauma. A lot of people believe that this is especially strong in Asia because academic competition is typically much more cutthroat over there, but also in immigrant parents, they're typically tiger parents. They seem to easily just adopt this attitude and this belief of, look at how much I've struggled to bring you here to this country where the competition is less.

You think it's this easy in China? I don't think so. I give you more of a chance. I sacrifice my life and you're being ungrateful throwing it away to play video games. Do you know how many people in China would kill to come to the US or Canada to study? And you're like, wow. I don't know. It seems like you wanted to come here. I wasn't even born. I did not make're like, wow. I don't know, it seems like you wanted to come here. I wasn't even born. I did not make this decision, lady. What are you saying?

And the standards are wild. A is bad. B is bad. You gotta get in your 95 and above. Like you can't get a mid to low A. So even if the child gets good grades, their sense of belonging, their self-esteem, their familial love and acceptance, even purpose is just not there. But even if the child gets good grades, their sense of belonging, their self-esteem, their

familial love and acceptance, even purpose is just not there. Tiger parents will argue to their death though. They'll say, no, that's not how it works. I'm teaching my kid self-control. Self-regulation, self-discipline, and sure they hate me now. But when they're older and they see how much they've accomplished they will thank me. They're looking out for their current selves, their teenage selves that want to play video games. I'm looking bigger, I'm

looking at their future and it's not just about the status and the prestige that comes with a higher education. It's also about work ethic. So in China, work ethic and pursuit of knowledge is deemed of high value. Like being someone who has a good work ethic is something that everybody looks for in a partner, in an employee, in a friend. I feel like it's not as emphasized in the Western culture.

Everyone's looking for work life balance, but in China, it's like work ethic. What's your work ethic? Is that really what's happening here? These parents are just looking out for your work ethic and your future. Is that the truth? I'm sure that it's part of it. I'm sure that these parents do love their kids, but I think that a lot of tiger parents, I almost feel like there's this need, that they want their kids to achieve things that they themselves couldn't do. Yeah, that's what they said, yeah.

And this is their chance of vicariously living through their kid. And if that's the case, I think it's pretty harsh. To expect your kid to do extra-ordinary things when you yourself are living an ordinary life, like why are you putting this unrealistic pressure on them? And it's bad. Recent studies show that by pushing children too hard and setting unrealistic standards and withholding affection when those standards are not met, it's causing children to seek out psychological help younger and younger, and they express having suicidal ideation

starting anywhere between 6 to 15 years old. A lot of surveys show that children who grew up with tiger parents, as adults, they still struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and they find just kind of no hope in the world. They have no direction, they're kind of lost. Tiger parenting is also often billained for the high rates of suicide in eastern Asia, and using violence to tiger parent is not uncommon. Amy Chew the author of Battle Him of the Tiger Mother, she's often credited with coining

the term or popularizing the term tiger mom. She's said in her memoir, Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable to others, even legally questionable to Westerners. Chinese mother say to their daughters, hey fatty, loosen weight. By contrast, Western parents typically tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of health and never mentioning the word fat. Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents are not. They assume that children are strong and not fragile,

and as a result, they behave very differently. I do think that the tradition is being broken though. Just by seeing how not that my parents were ever tiger parents but just seeing how my sister parents it's like a world of a difference. So I mean I get it. You can't deny the success that a lot of people Asian or not have gained to do in part to you know kind of their overbearing parents. I get it some Some of them do become successful. But just listen to this girl named Karen, who posted on a forum.

Which side note, Karen was Chinese, but she was raised in Australia. And she said, I just need some advice. I feel dead inside and I don't know what to do. I guess you could say it all started when I was a kid. I was never allowed to do anything that kids do. I couldn't go out to play with my friends. And through this lack of socialization, I started becoming really shy, even as a kid.

I don't know if that was in my personality. I just was shy. I was introverted. And let's just say I wasn't a social butterfly by any means. I was lonely if I'm being honest. But that was then. And now I'm older. And I'm realizing I'm even lonelier.

It's already hard to make friends as an adult and I just, I want some friends. I finally moved out of my parents' house last year and I feel like I know nothing about the outside world. I feel like I wasn't prepared for this. I don't know how to socialize at work. I don't know how to joke around with colleagues. I don't know how to have a social life. I don't even know how to date. In my head, I feel like I'm 5 years old, but I'm 25.

And yeah, Karen kind of blames her parents for this. She said, even just last year when I was 24 years old, still living with my parents, I had a 7 p.m. curfew. And if I didn't come home by then, or if I didn't come home early, my parents would just be blowing up my phone nonstop with who are you with? Come home soon, it's close to 3 PM. Call me now where I'm calling the police. When it would get closer to her curfew, sometimes her dad would just text her

a passive aggressive text that said, cold rice is ready, meaning that she could have come home sooner to have a hot dinner. It was overbearing to say the least. Her parents would even hold her hand across the street when she was 15 years old. And not in a cute way, not like, oh, you don't have to hold my hand, but I love you. Like, let's just have some bonding time.

But like, snatching your hand, because I don't trust you to cross this street right next to me. Karen remembered one incident that just blew her mind. Like, this was a core memory for her. She's 21. She had just finished up this three month long internship and everybody. All the interns were going out that night. Listen, it's not gonna be a wild party.

This is not no Vegas style party filled with patterny noses and not safer work festivities. It's like a small get together after dinner. Well Karen felt obligated to go. She told her parents, I worked three months, like I worked my butt off for this. I wanna make some friends. Like this is part of work is to network and meet people and build connections.

I'm going. But the entire time she sat there, her food untouched, she couldn't even have fun or fake a smile at her new potential friends because all she could focus on was the vibration of the phone in her pocket. Over and over. Bzzz, vibration of the phone in her pocket. Over and over.

It was her mom. Her mom. Both her parents had been bombarding her with text messages the whole time that she was out. Why haven't you returned home? You should come back home now. If you don't come back in time, we'll have to call the police. Finally, Karen couldn't take it anymore.

She excused herself. Went outside, picked up her mom's phone call. I don't know. This was probably the 79th call that night. What? I told you I'm with the people that interned with me. Her mom is crying. How can I know that you weren't kidnapped? Mom, I texted you back that I was still here. Yes, but the person who sent the message could have been the person that kidnapped you. What? Do you know that there are so many people who have had their children take in hostage? Do you know that?

What? Karen said it was the angriest she had heard her mom. It wasn't even tears of desperation and worry that you would expect from a mom of like, oh my god, I was so worried about you, honey. Like next time please can you just let me know you're okay. It was anger. Her mom was angry. And she acted on it. She called the damn police. Okay, it was anger. Her mom was angry. And she acted on it. She called the damn police. And the police told her,

ma'am, we're not a babysitting service. Your daughter is 21. You yourself admit that you just talked on the phone with her. She's with her internship people. Like, we're not, we're not gonna uber her back home. We're not uber. Karen was writing on the forum, not because she wanted to hurt her parents.

She didn't even want them to apologize. All she wanted was advice on how to fit in and make friends, how to do all the things that most kids would have learned early on in their lives. You know, we're very much like dogs, you know, when you get a new dog, they always say, you gotta socialize the dog. You gotta make sure the dog is okay with other dogs and humans, otherwise you're gonna new dog, they always say, you gotta socialize the dog. You gotta make sure the dog is okay with other dogs

and humans, otherwise you're gonna have a, an awkward dog that can't hang out with humans or other dogs. Humans are like that, we need to socialize. And so she felt like she missed that pivotal point in her childhood and now she feels uncomfortable. There's a whole subreddit dedicated to tiger parents. It's called Asian parent stories. No way. Yeah. Well, I should be on there. And one of the top posts says this. I visited a family

friend with my parents and while we were on the way back, my dad was just ranting. He was ranting to us about how Asian children in our generation aren't risk takers, like his generation, how we're not decisive, we don't know what we want in life. And I literally exploded. Like why do you think that we're this way? Don't you think maybe if you guys weren't so stingy with the compliments and weren't so overly critical with every single little mistake that we made growing up, that we would be more confident and not deathly afraid of making mistakes?

Like you don't think that? Kids grow up to reflect how they're raised. It's not that all Asian kids in this generation had a secret meeting and we're like, oh guys let's all be insecure and anxious and be afraid of making life decisions because we're scared of making mistakes. No, our parents literally raised us like this and then they complained when this happens. They raised their child toxicly and then expect them to magically turn out like they were actually raised by mentally healthy and loving parents.

You think I'm choosing to act like this? No one would choose to be like this. And so many people related. So there is a lot of anger and there is a lot to be discussed, but do I think that this should sway anybody's opinion on the case and Tom? No, but this is context. So back to Tom's story as a tiger baby. Tom's friends said that it was just a recipe for disaster.

You know, they would see Tom get to school early and he just had so much, I don't know if his pent up anger, pent up energy, anxiety, the feeling of powerlessness, but he had it all inside of him and they would just see Tom doing circles outside the school. Nobody told him to. He would just run, run, run, run. The only thing that kind of eased his pain was a girl named Yazzie. Let's call her Yazzie. Yazzie was, she's kind of perfect.

You know, she encouraged him to study, but not in the way that his own mom did. She was very soft and kind. Like, okay, you're, we're going to study for the exam together and then we're going to go eat this street food and then we're going to get into the same university and we're going to study, work, and eventually we'll get married. It'll be perfect. I mean, this is going to be like their little daydream. Is it going to happen? Probably not. I mean, it's a high school love, but it's exhilarating, it's exciting. It builds character and on top of that

The two of them would go on study dates There is no part of it where I could look at and be like oh, I was a bad influence on both of them Well, Tom's mom did not think so when she found out Tom's mom took great offense Not just that her son was dating but because he was making her look bad on top of all of that. In China, dating in middle school and high school is strictly forbidden. So Tom gets some harsh words pointed at him. He said that Leanne even yelled at him and said, not only are you sneaking behind my back, making me look bad to date somebody, but you found a poor girl to date.

The rest of high school for Tom went by at snail speed. All he did was study. Starve, when he didn't get good grades, rints, and repeat, and even after graduating high school, his parents felt like he was too girl crazy, so they sent him abroad to Canada to get a college degree and to start an international business over there. What's interesting is that they wanted him to be a business owner, which don't get me wrong, smarts are needed, skills are needed, but to be a business owner, which don't get me wrong, smarts are needed, skills are needed, but to be a business owner,

I would say that interpersonal skills might be the most important in most fields, and they never raised Tom to have interpersonal skills. He didn't even have basic self-care skills. He didn't know how to do his laundry or to make friends. I mean, he was like Karen, he was a five year old and an 18 year old's body, and I'm not saying that to excuse what he did because no five year old commits crimes the way that Tom is gonna commit crimes.

I'm just giving you some context. Tom said that his college experience was less than stellar. It was not like the Western movies where everybody goes to frat parties and has a blast. Tom felt incredibly isolated. He didn't know English, everybody made fun of him, he didn't know how to make friends, so not only did he not know the language, but he was awkward. He was uncomfortable. People just kind of stayed away, it was miserable. One day, Tom said he reached out to his parents and tears.

I miss home. I hate it here. I feel so utterly lonely, you don't understand. He just wanted some words of encouragement. Some words of understanding. Sure, he wanted them to fly back to China immediately where he was more comfortable, but any sort of comfort would have been okay, but he wasn't getting that. His parents actually accused him of being ungrateful for their hard work. You think anybody can go to college or

brought? Tom stayed in Canada, and in 2012, he told his parents, I finally graduated. Oh my god, it's been like the roughest years of my life. I found a good paying job, and it's for this really big respectable company. And I'm just, can I please have a life now? I just want to go find and share memories with. Tom's parents were really happy about everything, but the last part, they still were not ready for him to date.

This part is a little bit interesting, and I don't know if it's true. I don't know if Tom is saying this. I don't know if this is how the parents really operated. But I imagine from what I can tell most Chinese parents after college, they're like ready to for you to get married. Yeah, they're ready for the grandchild.

Yeah, they're like, you don't even need to get married. Let's just pop it out. Back to back, come on. But Tom's parents, they said, no. Focus on climbing the work ladder first. You're so close to the finish line. Don't get greedy now. You have to make sure that you focus more than ever.

Make a good impression at work. And they nacked. But they were really, really proud. For the first time in Tom's life, you could feel it. They even wanted to fly from China to celebrate with him. They were going to stay for two weeks and Tom could show them all the best spots in Vancouver. They were finally going to bond, not as parent and toddler, but hopefully his parent and adult.

But the entire trip, Tom was on edge. He said that his mom had a way of saying certain words that would just, that would just cut so deep. He felt them and they stung in a way that he, it was like pouring alcohol into a deep wound. Any time that they went to a nice tourist spot, or they had a nice delicious meal, Tom's mom with Lena Renze, see if it weren't for my strict parenting and my tough love, how could you have achieved all the things that you achieved, and how could you live this wonderful life that you have today?

I think she meant it in a good way. I'm gonna be honest, like I don't see her doing this to be vindictive or like, oh this is all my success. I genuinely think that maybe they had crossed the finish line. And maybe she herself wanted some sort of acknowledgement of like, thanks mom for raising me, you know? Thanks mom for guiding me even when, you know, it's tough and I acted out a lot but you were always there. Or maybe just said, you know what, Mom, you're right. I'm happy that this happened. But that's not how Tom felt.

Tom would bite his tongue because obviously he didn't agree. He was pretty upset that his mom kept saying that if he's being honest, but there they would be sitting in the restaurant talking about how well Tom's life is going. Oh, just graduated. Got a good job. He's on track to get permanent resident status, a Canadian green card, if you will. Then he can travel more.

He can start a business in Canada, take the family business from China and expand it if he wants. And Tom would have smile and hardly change the subject. What do you guys want to order? I heard the tune of salad is really good here. Why didn't you want to talk about it? Did he just not like his mom constantly taking the credit for all his hard work?

Or was it because his whole life was fake? Was it because everything his parents believed was fake? In fact, after graduating high school, Tom came to Vancouver with a student visa. The university that he had gotten into, we just stopped studying. The guy just stopped. He was dropped from the school and not only that he lost his student visa. So for a while, he's roaming around looking for alternatives to leave finally settles on studying hotel management at a community college. And when he graduates, I don't know if it's the language skills or just his resume in general or the job market really

He can't find a job But he didn't want to hear his parents yell at him. Can you imagine all the nagging oh This are you sure than this? He said he graduated from the original university their reputable university and he found an amazing high-paying job And he was on track to get permanent residence status I'm paying job and he was on track to get permanent residence status. When in reality, he's unemployed, he can't get a student visa or a work visa. He's just renewing a visitor's visa, working at Chinese restaurants under the table to get cash because you can't be paid when you're on a visitor's visa.

You can't get a job. So what? You're thinking the same thing I'm thinking, which is how does he even support himself? Well his parents were giving him money, but not in the rich way that you expect. Like, because I know there's a lot of stories of those international students, where the parents are like, how's the US? Here's a million dollars.

Have fun. I don't know the cost of eggs over there. It must be a bajillion dollars. But it was not like that at all. Tom would convince his parents, guys, I need a car to get this job, to get this interview. I need a house, you know, I need to live there and I can rent out a room. It's technically an investment property.

Oh, can you invest in this and not in this? And his parents trusted him with their money, but it all came with the price. Listen, this was like the most intense thing I learned is that you're going to have a way better relationship with your parents when you don't depend on them for anything, including finances. Like, let me tell you the relationship between me and my parents vastly changed. But Tom, because he was getting money from his parents, he would have to call his parents every three days. And the phone call could be no less than 20 minutes each time. And if he did not seem enthusiastic, if he did not seem interested in his parents' lives, they would just cut him off completely.

They would not give him money. And he would be left with no money to maintain his basic necessities. But you know the deal. There's no investments, there's no house, there's no car. Tom Blue, all of that money, renting an apartment with his Vancouver girlfriend and spending time with her.

So July 29th, 2012, more than a month and a half later, a suitcase washes ashore of Harwood Island, about 100 miles from where Leigh Ann vanished. This suitcase itself was rather large. It's like 30 inches tall, 20 inches wide, it was unzipped. Now, I couldn't find any reports that somebody got there first. I'm assuming that the police got there or maybe somebody saw it from a far and called the police.

The police get there. Material is hanging out of the suitcase. That is how they describe it. Foreign substances, foreign material, it looked white and stringy. The police braced for impact. They poked open the lid. And I think that they all knew what they were gonna find.

But it never makes it easier. Inside the suitcase was a human torso, and that's all the verification they needed. They rushed the remains to Vancouver General Hospital, the forensic pathologist remembered a ton of maggots moving around, and it wasn't even till the remains were moved out of the suitcase that they found a head inside.

At first, the police thought it was a decapitated torso, but the head was so curled up in a fetal position, so close to the chest, and with that decomposition the police didn't even recognize it. Not like they didn't recognize who it was, but they didn't even recognize that it was ahead. The corpse was wearing the same clothes that Leanne was a seen-in. She was wearing a bracelet and a watch, and they found those on the corpse as well. That's, I mean this was exactly the same as how Leanne's family described her. And her

nail polish was even similar to the missing Leanne poster. On top of that, Leanne had spinal surgery in China a few years ago and they found five surgical nails with Chinese characters stamped onto them during the autopsy. They did have to get DNA to prove it was Lian, but it was pretty shut and done. That Lian was no longer missing. She had officially been murdered. And her cause of death, her school had been smashed with several large holes.

But the police were stuck. I mean, they needed more evidence. They didn't have anything to get Tom. They all thought it was Tom. They knew he was a killer. They knew that he murdered his mom, but then there's knowing something and then there's convincing a jury of it. So they thought, okay, fine. You know, Tom doesn't want to talk to us. Fine! We can make him think that he's not talking to us.

The police had hidden the discovery of Leon's body from the news, and now it was time to catch their killer. They recruited a female police officer who spoke Cantonese, had her call Tom saying that she had a clue for him, which this is the Starbucks meeting. So Tom shows... Oh, that's a cry-out. Yes! Tom shows up nervous and he asks her, you know, okay, okay, can you meet at Starbucks to talk?

When they get inside the undercover officer sits down. Tom, can I call you Tom? I was fishing with a friend recently and while she found a suitcase, I was too scared to look inside, but she wasn't. She looked inside. She wanted to open it. I instant around for it, the smell already told me everything I needed to know. We've seen you around, leaving posters everywhere looking for your mom.

I mean, let's be real. My friend and I put two and two together, it wasn't that hard. Gathering from your situation and ours, we're assuming that whoever is in that suitcase is your mom. The body was wearing the same blue top as the flyer. She watched Tom's face for any emotional change at all.

Now, here's what's interesting. You would think it's kind of a weird thing for the police to tell Tom, but they were trying to see if you were innocent what were you doing in this situation. I would immediately call the police. I'd be like, they found my mom. I would want to know more about this. But Tom stayed silent. And the woman pressed on. Don't worry, I haven't called the police yet. If you're willing to pay us, we can actually help you get rid of the suitcase. We can help you get rid of it all, your mom,

the suitcase, and it'll be all easy, done. No one will know. The female police officer grabbed the coffee on the table and took a small sip. Tom sat there in silence for a second for getting up and walking out. Shhh, shhh, shhh, this is not what the police were expecting. The officer rushed out, caught up with him in the parking lot. Okay, fine. I'll be what the police were expecting. The officer rushed out, caught

up with him in the parking lot. Okay fine, I'll be honest with you Tom, we're part of the triad. We know what this means. The body in the suitcase, we know that your mom was murdered. Just let us help you. And if you really don't need help, if you really didn't do anything, and you were innocent, you should have just called the police at Starbucks. But you didn't. Here, just take my number, Tom. There's not much time. If you can't come up with some money, the triad will be forced to go to the police with the body.

That's how business works around here. And with that, the police had set their trap. And they just waited. Would they catch a snake or would they not? They didn't have to wait long. Tom called the exact next day. He was open. He straight up said, I don't have the money,

but I know how to get it. If you help me, just call my dad and say that my mom has been kidnapped by the triad. And you will only let her go if you pace up. I know it. He's going to pay the ransom. I know he will. And you'll get your money.

Tom, this is a lot to talk about over the phone right now. Do you want to come meet me soon? You can also meet my boss. That day, Tom went to go meet with this mysterious woman and her so-called boss Another higher up in the triad aka just another Asian undercover officer who spoke Cantonese The boss told him I can help you destroy the body But first tell me what happened. I need to know so we don't look like the ones that killed your mom We need to know everything else. We're not helping you. We also need know your reasoning. We are the triad, but we have morals around here.

At first, Tom seemed a bit skeptical, like you didn't want to share that kind of information. I mean, who would? But then the big boss told Tom everything that they knew about the suitcase, the size of the suitcase, the color, everything. And suddenly, Tom's reservations, they just melted away. This guy starts opening an. He's an open book now. It took a couple of different in-person sessions, but the undercover officers met up with Tom multiple times and they pried the whole story out of him. Tom said that his mom died the day before she quote disappeared. The night before.

Tom was staying in the hotel room next to his parents, and after his dad had had fallen asleep he asked his mom to come to his room to help him with something. His bed was immense he had dropped a ton of loose change all over the bed and he said can you help me mom? And she bent over and she sat and said you know you're a grown man but you still need your little mommy don't you? And while she was bent over I hit her on the back of the head multiple times. And when she fell to the ground I hit her on the back of the head multiple times. And when she fell to the ground, I put a pillow over her head and I suffocated her. And the whole process probably took about 20 minutes. I triple checked her purse to make sure that she really was dead. And then I removed the pillow from her face and I was surprised that she not once screamed the whole time. I know I had to get rid of her body, so I packed her into an empty suitcase, and then brought

her body back to my apartment. Yeah, the apartment where I live with my girlfriend. She didn't suspect anything. I just said this suitcase. So the next morning I go back to the hotel, pick up my parents, and I knock on the door. Dad, why are you still asleep? Have you seen Mom? I just saw her, I was helping remove some bags out of the room

Where'd she go? And the two of them start searching for Tom's mom. No luck Tom convinced his dad to try to first and he would hold it down in Canada So his dad trusting him and trusting that his wife would turn up. He boarded that flight And now Tom he felt like he had some free time. He was in no rush He said all he had to do was take the suitcase from his apartment, the one with his mom's body, and dump it off a bridge about 100 miles away.

Go back to the hotel, clean up the blood, cut up the pillow that he suffocated her with, burn it, throw the murder weapon into the river, and done just like that. Oh, and flip over the mattress, of course. And then put on the best act of his life to the police, which we're listening intently to Tom's story right now. The two police officers are staring at him and they they were trying so hard to hide the shock on their

faces like this is not the KGB. They were not trained for this. They're like, okay, this guy's just straight up confessing right now. But at the same time they were trying to understand the emotion that Tom was showing. At times, it seemed like relief, relief that he killed his mom, or relief that he was finally telling somebody about it. They didn't know. But before they made up their own judgment on Tom, Tom stood there and said, Wait, after this is over, do you guys know if someone could help me kill my dad? Oh my god.

Because after my dad dies, all of his money will be mine. And you name your price on what it takes to get a hitman and I can definitely afford it. They were speechless, I'm sorry. But they couldn't blow their cover. Uh, sure, Tom, I know a guy that has cancer, maybe he can take the fall. You know, in fact, maybe he can take the fall for killing your mom and your dad, because you know, it'd be suspicious if your mom goes missing and then your dad turns up dead. And his family needs the money.

He's gonna die anyway in prison. Ah, man, shoot. Only problem is, the guy's going through a chemo. It's kind of losing his mind, you know. We've done this before. We're the triad. We obviously know stuff like this, but, um, see, the thing is, people know when you're lying. the thing is people know when you're lying.

Like the police know when you're lying. When you go in there and you say, oh, I hit on the head with the hammer, they know because they ask you questions, which hand, how, at what angle did you hit? How did the head fly? Bop, bop, bop, right? I think the only way that this works is if you show us what you did and we recorded and give it to that guy so he can study your movements, you know, with your left foot in front of your right foot, that's how you really sell a crime. That's how we do it at the triad. We don't do that baby stuff, you know, where you just go in and oh, I did it. They're not going to believe him.

So just do you mind showing us how you killed your mom? And with that naive little Tom roleplayed how he killed his own mom, how he hit her on the back of her head, smothered her with a pillow, and then stuffed her into a suitcase. All the while, the two undercover officers recorded the whole thing. Unbelievable. I mean it was over for Tom, he was promptly arrested, and guess who comes running to this guy's defense? See, this is what I always find fascinating. Everybody has a different view on what's right. I know some people who would choose their kids over everything and everyone, like my sister, but then you have some people that would

choose their partners over their kids. And you can't really necessarily say one or the other is right or wrong. It just depends on the person. And I've only dealt with this idea in a hypothetical sense, but I imagine I would choose the non-offending party. So let's say I have a kid, and you asked me to choose between my partner and my child, I would be conflicted. Most moms out there are like,

just you wait till you have a kid. You're gonna choose your kid in a heartbeat, but you know what I mean? It's a moment of conflict. But if my kid did something to my partner that was evil or vice versa, I feel like the choice has been made. But I guess Tom's dad didn't see it that way because he stuck by his own son. Even when he found out that his son had

just tried to hire the triad to kill him, he still stuck by his son. His father later said, my wife, she, you know, she had the strong desire to want to control everything. Not just with Tom, but with me as well. She would control who I hung out with, who I went to dinner with, what I ate, and at time she would even control how much cash was in my pocket. It was a lot. So the dad argued that Tom was just desperate. He probably wasn't even in the right state of mind.

The doctors, they looked into it, they worked on Tom and they concluded, no, this guy was not having a psychotic break, he did not have any mental reasoning of why he would not be in the right state of mind at the time of the killing. He was completely there, completely aware. He was there. The prosecutors further proved this by planting a police officer in prison to get an update on Tom's mental state, and Tom straight up told him, I only wanted to kill my parents so that I could be free.

I don't really have regrets of being honest. I felt like my parents had always been too controlling, and they were going to continue to control the rest of my life unless I did something about it. This was the only way that I could have felt free. I wanted to kill them for a really long time, and I mean, my dreams were only half accomplished. The officer egged him on. I mean, I just can't believe you did it while they were on vacation here.

Yeah, but there's no death penalty in Canada. There is in China, and that's why it had to be done here. And I think that the police in Canada are dumber, if you will. Then China, they're all losing. Yeah, they're a lot less effective. I didn't think that they would solve it. Can you imagine the undercover officer hearing that? Like, bro, he just called you dumb. Okay.

So anyway, all of this would be further used against Tom and to prove that yes, he was in his right state of mind. He had planned it. So the trial starts and remember in the beginning, how Tom was tried for the attempted murder of his father, the prosecutors dropped the charges. She, because Tom's dad was just so uncooperative the jury was so confused. It was going to cost the state a ton of money, they hoped that the murder charge for his mom was going to be enough to convince the jury that this man

needs to be locked up for a long time. There was a lot of physical evidence that came out during the trial. There was the blood of Leanne everywhere in the hotel room. The mattress had been turned over with large blood stains. Leanne's blood was all over his rental car and the backpack that he used to carry the murder weapon. Yeah, that too had Leanne's blood. There were surveillance video of the apartment where he brought his mom in that suitcase. There's video footage of him talking to the undercover agents recreating the murder scene. All of that was shown to the jury, all of those vile things that he said and did, and the way that he felt. If anybody had a doubt, if anybody thought for a second, oh, this is really bad parenting, like he was just so suffocated, this kid was pushed

to his limit with abuse, that video clip would change your mind. Because Tom talked about how he blew every penny that his parents gave him on his Vancouver girlfriend and gambling. Honestly, he just wanted his dad to die too, so that he could take over the business. He didn't even want the business, he just wanted the money. And with that money, he was gonna marry his girlfriend.

Not his Vancouver girlfriend, though. His China girlfriend. He has two girlfriends. Yeah, he had an ex-girlfriend in China that he wanted to marry. His Vancouver girlfriend, I don't know, I guess it was just for funsies. What? Like this guy is not a good person. What?

Tom said, and this is wild. He said that he made up his mind to kill his mom when his ex-girlfriend from China reached out and said, okay, side note, Tom had been seeing his ex-girlfriend in China secretly for the past six years every time that he went back to China. One time he pretended to come back to Canada. His parents dropped him off at the airport in China, but instead of boarding a flight, the guy waited till they drove off and his ex-girlfriend came and picked him up and he spent an entire month in China with her, lying to his parents that he was back in Canada.

He said, I loved her, but one day she told me that she had fallen pregnant with my child. But because she had no money, she knew that she could not raise a child. She terminated the pregnancy. Tom said that this made the resentment towards his parents even greater, which I don't know how he's arguing that because their money is not your money, like you're not entitled to it. So the guy's not making his own money. I don't know, right? But he was mad.

And at the end, Tom was not a shelter child that had been emotionally abused to the point of stopping. He was a spoiled kid. He didn't want to answer to his parents. He wanted the money when he wanted it and he wanted to do whatever he wanted with that money. He wanted to gamble. He wanted to hang out with girls all day. That's what he wanted the money when he wanted it and he wanted to do whatever he wanted with that money. He wanted to gamble, he wanted to hang out with girls all day, that's what he wanted. And then Tom's dad even testified in defense of Tom. He tried to tell the jurors that Tom was really in a hard place.

Tom said that studying in Canada was life worse than death or prison. Which is great because you're going to prison, buddy. So there should be better. Side note, anytime the prosecutors brought up evidence of Tom wanting to kill his own father too, which there's a lot of evidence, like video recordings, audio recordings, anytime that was brought up, Tom's dad just left the room.

He didn't wanna hear it, but he still wanted to support his son. And maybe it's because, again, I'm not a parent yet, but that boggles my mind quite a bit. Tom's dad said, I already lost my wife. I can't lose my son too. I believe that his mother is in heaven and can see and understand what I'm trying to do. My wife and I, we've always believed that only strict restrictions and discipline can save our son. It's the only way to give him a future. But the lack of communication and disregard for our son's preferences,

treating him as a personal asset of ours was, I don't know, I went to go visit my son a few times in prison eventually, and I forgave him. I felt a deep sense of guilt for sending him to Canada to study alone. The jury was so confused. I mean, typically you have families

that are rooting for justice justice and even though you're putting someone away in prison for a potentially a long time, maybe you know that this is the right thing to do. Maybe you look at the family and you see the burden being lifted off of their shoulders and that's what you focus on as a juror, right? But this, this was, if they don't put Tom away for a long time, Leanne doesn't get justice. If they put Tom away for a long time, Tom's dad, who is also a victim in all of this, is further traumatized and is in pain, I mean, what do we do?

It was a really complex case. But in the end, the jury returned a verdict of guilty, of second-degree murder. Tom was sentenced to life in prison with the possibility of parole in 17 years. If Tom gets out, he will most likely be deported back to China because he is still a Chinese citizen. Tom's dad cried at the sentencing and said, Son, no matter how big a mistake you make, I will forgive you. Your mother is already dead and if you die, there is no point for me to live. No matter how long you are in prison, I will wait for your release.

What? Which maybe it's the cultural aspect of putting family before all else to the point where in situations where maybe you shouldn't. But I think it just makes the whole case more heartbreaking because this to me sounds like a man who is so traumatized, who is so broken, and this is the only way that he sees it will be okay. I don't know. It's just so complicated. Family relations, human emotions, human connections. They're so hard to control and it's so so messy. What are your thoughts on this case?

Let me know and let me know if anything got lost in translation. I hope you guys enjoyed and I will see you guys on Sunday for the mini-suit. Bye! if anything got lost in translation. I hope you guys enjoyed and I will see you guys on Sunday for the mini-suit. Bye!