rSlash - r/AITA for Abandoning My Kid in the Hospital?

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

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Tis the season for making memories with family and friends, so celebrate with Swiss Shalai's festive special, their famous quarter chicken dinner, now with cranberry sauce, stuffing, linda chocolates, plus a scratch and win card, or everyone's a winner. It's a tradition truly worth sharing. The festive special, only at Swiss Shalai, visit SwissShalai.ca for contest details, while supplies last. Welcome to R-slash. Am I the bad guy where O.P. reveals that he's the world's worst boyfriend? Am I the bad guy for walking out of a restaurant on my girlfriend? My girlfriend and I were having dinner at a restaurant when she got a text from her best friend

who recently gave birth. My girlfriend and I were having dinner at a restaurant when she got a text from her best friend who recently gave birth. My girlfriend said, oh my God, she got a C section. My girlfriend works as a nurse so she then explained to me the type of incision they make for that and how it'll leave a scar. I then, as a joke, said, at least she'll still be tight down there. My girlfriend looked confused and then said, that was a weird comment to make about her friend. I then said that it's a very normal joke to make, and she disagreed. There was some back and forth, I asked her to drop it, and she kept trying to talk to me

about it. I said to her, you're so insecure, and she then goes, does it make you feel good to call me that? So I got really frustrated, got up, and walked out of the restaurant and drove home. She called me several times, I drove both of us there, but I was so frustrated and just wanted to get home so I turned my phone off. She showed up at our apartment 30 minutes later and was really pissed. She called me an A-hole and said that I overreacted, and that she waited in the cold for 20 minutes for an Uber. Am I the bad guy for walking out on her and leaving her there for being frustrated?

OP, what? What? OP, are you okay? What is going through your mind, man? Your girlfriend's friend goes under the knife, goes into surgery, and your response is to crack a joke about her friend's vagina. Huh? Then she calls you out on it and tries to talk to you about it, and you call her insecure, and you have a toddler tantrum and just abandoned her at the restaurants. Opie, you strike me as a type of person who's so fundamentally rotten and toxic at your deepest core that I don't think anything I say to you is gonna matter. So instead, I'm going to address your girlfriend in the off-chance that she listens to this.

Girl, run! Why are you with this guy? He makes sexist jokes about your friend who's going under surgery. Then when you try to talk to him about it, he gaslights you and criticizes you, and then abandons you like, huh? Why are you with this guy? Girl, I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys because you responded very like normally, I guess.

I think a very normal thing would have been to immediately dump this guy, but yeah, you definitely did nothing wrong here. The guy, on the other hand, geez. I'm going to read this reply from top manufacturer. You're the bad guy for the joke, you're the bad guy for thinking it's a normal thing to say, you're the bad guy for calling your girlfriend insecure, you're the bad guy for getting frustrated and storming off.

You're the bad guy for leaving your girlfriend without a ride, you're the bad guy for turning your phone off and you're the bad guy for posting here and making me read your BS. Am I the bad guy for turning your phone off and you're the bad guy for posting here and making me read your BS! Am I the bad guy for not spending this Christmas in the hospital with my daughter? I'm a 39 year old woman and my daughter, who's 16, has had a sensitive stomach ever since she was a kid. There are certain foods that will upset her stomach to the point where she's unable to stop throwing up. We've seen countless doctors, but so far nobody's been able to give us a clear answer.

The only advice we keep getting is to identify all trigger foods and cut them from our diet. We have a pretty good idea of what those foods are. Soda, carbonated drinks, chips, cheetos, and other similar processed snacks. Anything oily, fried, and most sweets. Unfortunately, this is exactly the kind of stuff my daughter loves to eat the most. And as horrible as she feels after she has them, she still refuses to cut them from her diet, which in turn led to her spending a lot of time in the hospital during the past few years. When she was little, it was easier to keep all these foods away from her because I simply wouldn't buy them. But now that she's older, I can't always

be there to check what she eats. She gets the greasy pizza at her school's cafeteria, she trades her lunch with her classmates, she goes out with her friends and stops to eat at KFC, and so on. And it always ends with her in the emergency room, crying and shaking because she can't stop throwing up. This was the case on Christmas Eve as well, when our whole family gathered at our place. And, of course, among the many dishes at our Christmas table were some of her main trigger foods, like chips, soda, chocolate, and sweets. Now, mind you, these were far from the only foods available to her. We also had a variety of home cooked traditional dishes on the table, with ingredients that

don't upset her stomach, like vegetables, meat, dairy, etc. All of them delicious and well seasoned. My daughter herself says that she really likes most of these dishes. Despite this, my daughter chose to eat nothing but her trigger foods. I reminded her that they would make her feel awful, but she said that she didn't care because Christmas is only once a year and she just wants to live a little. While this ended with her violently throwing up in the ER a few hours later, she had to be hospitalized for a few days and only just got out of the hospital

a few hours ago. And unlike all the previous times when something like this happened, this time I chose to spend my Christmas relaxing at home with the rest of our family and not in the hospital by my daughter's side. I kept in touch with her through calls and texts and I told her that if she needed anything I'd ask a family member to bring it to her, but I made it clear that I would not be visiting her during her stay. And well, my daughter didn't take this too well. She cried every time we talked on the phone and begged me to come over, and told me how horrible I was for abandoning her there all alone. Most of our family didn't take my side in this either,

and during the past few days, I got called everything from a little extreme to downright cruel and heartless. Am I the bad guy, Reddit? Okay, this is a really complicated post, and I really think it's fair for anyone to say OP is the bad guy or OP isn't the bad guy, but I think in reality, the answer is kind of somewhere in the middle. Fundamentally OP, because you're the parent, it's your responsibility to care for your kid. Now the problem is in what's the best care for this kid. Obviously she needs your support, right, and you have been giving that support pretty

much throughout her entire life. But also, another type of support she needs here is a hard lesson. And that lesson is that actions have consequences. Apparently, she's willing to accept the fact that if she eats chips or soda or whatever, then she'll throw up and she's like, okay, I know this is going to happen, I'm going to deal with it fine. But what she doesn't seem to understand is that when she does that, that affects other people too.

You know, because you have to drive her to the hospital, you have to spend all night comforting her and that sucks other people too. You know, because you have to drive to the hospital, you have to spend all night comforting her and that sucks for you too. So whenever she eats like that, she's making a decision for herself, but also for you. And she's 16, so in a couple of years presumably she's going to be going to college, she's going to be living on her own, she's going to be moving in with a boy or a girl whatever and like she needs to understand That if she eats like that around her roommate or her boyfriend or whoever then they have to take over the responsibility of caring for her Or they might just not because they don't care that much So I can understand why this would be a really painful lesson and why some parents may not want to convey this lesson in the way that

OP chose to convey it. But nonetheless, I feel like if OP wants to give this lesson to her daughter in this fashion, I feel like it's okay, it's acceptable. So I think I'm going to give OP 0 out of 5 bad guys because this is tough love parenting. And I don't really see anything like abusive or wrong here. It is fairly tough in the tough love spectrum, but I think 0 out of 5 is fair. I also think I'm gonna give the daughter 0 out of 5 because technically she is still a kid, you know, she's saddled with a medical condition and she's handling it as best as

she can, and it's really unfair to her that she has to cut herself off from all the delicious foods in the world. So if she wants to indulge herself and she's aware of the consequences afterwards, then you know, her body, her choice type situation. So while I am going to give the daughter a zero out of five bad guys as well, I do think she really needs to understand the point that OP is trying to make that her actions really do have consequences, not just for her, but for everyone around her. I kind of feel like we are running into like, uh, psychiatrist psychologists.

I don't know the right term. Uh, we need professional help on this one. This is outside of Reddit's pay grade. This is outside of our slosh's pay grade. I feel like your daughter needs therapy OP. Metro links and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful, as Eglinton Cross-Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, as trains can pass at any time on the tracks.

Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks, and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Am I the bad guy for telling my son that he has to go to university, get a job, or get out? My wife and I have three kids, they're 17, 15, and 10. My oldest has no intention to do anything after high school. At least nothing he's made clear to us.

So I gave him the same ultimatum my parents gave me, either go to university, get a job, or GTFO. Me, I chose to travel the world for two years. I had a lot of sailing experience, and my father had a lot of friends in that community, so I was able to sail around the world, earning money and working my butt off. It was not a two year vacation. My family is well off,

and I could have chosen a lazy, privileged life, but I knew that I would be a disappointment if I chose that. So, when I got back, I enrolled in university and eventually went to work for the family business. My wife thinks that I'm being unfair to our poor baby boy throwing him out into the world. But I'm not. We have the money to pay for his university. We have the money to pay for all three kids. My middle child will probably end up with a good chunk of our money in her pocket because she's on the track for an academic as well as a golf scholarship.

My 10 year old is 10, so who knows what he's going to do, but he knows the plan. We haven't been secretive about this rule. My wife and I agreed that we would raise productive members of society before we got engaged. Her and my son think that I'm being cruel to expect him to fit for himself at 18. I've offered him multiple opportunities to do other things, but he has no interest in anything beyond his computer. I'm at a loss. I don't think that I'm wrong for expecting an adult to be an adult.

My parents have already told them that they will not be giving him any money if he isn't in school or working. My wife is threatening to use her salary to support him. I don't have any say in that. I won't actually kick him out of the house, but I will stop paying his bills and cut off our grocery budget by 20%. If she wants to work so he doesn't have to, there's nothing I can do about that. Okay, I kind of feel like remissing some information here. This feels a little incomplete to me. For one, I can't help but notice that OP has a lot of sailing experience, and typically poor people aren't the ones who are going around on sailboats

And then the middle child has a golf scholarship again, and not exactly a poor person sports So I'm kind of wondering if OP's family is like in the multi multi-millionaire range OP mentions the family business. I wonder if this family is worth like, you know, 20, 50 million, something crazy like that. Also, OP says, what did he say? I enrolled in university and eventually went to work for the family business. Okay. So OP got a good old-fashioned nepotism job placement.

It isn't clear if OP is expecting his son to like go out into the world and get a job elsewhere. clear if OP is expecting his son to go out into the world and get a job elsewhere, or if he's offered a good old-fashioned nepotism job to his son and his son is denied it. Because if it's a second situation and the dad's like, hey, I've got a great job for you, all you got to do is come work for me and your grandpa and we can, you know, set you up for life and the good's like, no, I want to play League of Legends. Then yeah, I'm on the dad side here. But if the dad is like, son, I expect you to go work at McDonald's. Meanwhile, he's pulling in like six figures in the job that his dad just handed to him,

then I'm totally on the kid side. I will say though that being a good parent is teaching your kid to fin for themselves, not just expecting them to fin for themselves. If your son is unable or unwilling to become an adult, not just expecting them to fin for themselves. If your son is unable or unwilling to become an adult, then some of that responsibility is on your shoulders, OP, it means you haven't done a good job of preparing him. So I think I'm just going to not give a bad guy rating on this one because I just feel like I'm missing information. I like my gut feeling tells me that OP is crazy loaded. This guy goes around sailing all the time and they golf so much that his kid has a scholarship.

So I think this family is worth multiple million dollars. And since we don't know what type of job OP expects the son to get, there's just too many variables here. So I'm going to pass on the bad guy rating. I'm really curious to see what you guys have to say in the comments, because do you agree with me? Do you think this family is super loaded? Do you think the dad's right? Do you think the son is right? I'm having a hard time parsing this one. My final rating is question mark out of five bad guys. Am I the bad guy for how I responded when my fiance sister commented

on my flat chest. To get this out of the way, I'm a flat chested girl. I suffered from health issues and growth problems, so I'm small but proud of myself. My fiance and I went over to his parents house for his niece's birthday. I wore a sweetheart-shaped dress, and my sister-in-law, who always comments on my chest, saw the dress and went like, this dress needs boobs and you ain't got any. I ignored her, but then at dinner, she asked if I was planning on getting plastic surgery before the wedding so that I don't ruin the wedding dress. I found this

offensive, especially since other people were listening. I said nothing, but when we were sitting in the living room later, she suddenly started wiping her nose and trying to clear it. She has a large nose, so I smiled and asked, do you need help with that? I could get the plungeer for you. She was stunned and the room got awkward after her husband started laughing. She was fuming and told my fiancee that I stepped out of line and ruined her daughter's birthday with my words that humiliated her. My fiance said that I shouldn't have caused a scene after his parents told us to leave. I explained how her comments made

me feel, but he said that she said that it was out of concern, but my comment was out of hate. Now she's expecting an apology. Did I go too far here? Okay, no, you didn't go too far. You gave her exactly the same energy that she was giving you. And then when you turned it back, she got all upset about it. Also, OP, you said that your sister-in-law

always comments about your flat chest. Okay, I've got a brother, I've got a wife. If my brother made a negative comment about my wife's appearance every single time that we saw him, I would just stop seeing him. Hey bro, when it come over for your niece's birthday party? Nope, I really don't, because you've disrespected my wife too many times, so you can go screw yourself for all I care. The fact that your fiance consistently allows his sister to disrespect you like

that means either he's just deep down a disrespectful person like his sister or he secretly hopes that it's going to work and he wants you to get a boob job. I don't know for sure but there's some definite red flag zero P. Opie I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys your burn was actually pretty funny I'm giving you 0 out of 5 bad guys. Your burn was actually pretty funny. I'm giving your sister-in-law 2 out of 5 bad guys, and I'm giving your fiance 2.5 out of 5 bad guys. Opie, why would you want to marry someone who literally is unwilling to stand up for you? That's like the bare minimum.

That's requirement number 1 is supporting your partner. Yeah, the whole comment of him, what did he say? He said, oh well, that comment was out of concern. I think he wants you to get a boob job, OP. I think that's actually what he's secretly. Maybe actually now that I think about it, I wonder if he actually put his sister up to it. You think?

Do you guys think am I on to something here? That was our slash of my D.A. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. the A and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.