rSlash - r/AITA for Becoming a Mega-Karen at School?
Episode Date: April 21, 2023https://www.youtube.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Am I the bad guy where OP transforms into a Karen over a PTA disagreement?
Am I the bad guy for screwing over all the people who donated their time and money?
The Parent Teacher Association has been planning a fundraiser for months to raise money for new cheerleader uniforms.
The old uniforms are very outdated, and all the kids are excited about getting new ones,
including mine.
Early in the planning, I agreed that my property could be used at no cost for the event,
and that I would provide all the furnishing.
Other people worked hard on buying and making items to be sold at the fundraiser.
Some people spent upwards of hundreds of hours and or dollars for the event.
At a recent meeting, the football coach said the equipment was badly worn out and had to
be replaced ASAP.
A vote was held and the majority voted that this fundraiser would be for the football team
and sit at the cheerleaders.
I was pissed! Football is always the top priority.
I went above and beyond here specifically to help out the cheerleading team.
My child and all their friends on the team got their hopes up only to be dashed.
I told everyone that my property would no longer be available for use and they need to find a new
venue.
People panicked and got very angry, including several people who voted against the change.
They said that my decision was the equivalent to throwing all their hard work in the trash.
I asked them how they thought the cheerleaders would feel.
They said that it was a vote and I was acting like a dictator that I can't overrule the
will of the majority. I said they can do what they like, but not on my property.
I know they won't be able to find a venue this late, especially not at an affordable price.
I understand that I screwed over my friends, burned bridges, and I'm likely going to be kicked off the PTA.
I just can't bring myself to help them. Am I a spiteful bad guy?
Opie, I'm 100% on your side. I just can't bring myself to help them. Am I a spiteful bad guy?
Opie, I'm 100% on your side. You guys plan a huge event for a certain group of people for your daughter and her team of cheerleaders.
And then a bunch of footballers come in and say, well actually we need money more because we're football players.
And as everyone knows, the most important group of people at any high school is the football players. Nah man, come on, this isn't some like 90s high school movie, it's 2023.
It's okay to give value to cheerleaders.
Like it seems super straight forward.
If they need money for new football uniforms, then the football team can have a fundraiser.
Right, if the cheerleading group does a cheerleading fundraiser, then the cheerleaders get money.
If the football people want football money, then do a football fundraiser!
It's not complicated, people.
Oh, Pete, you did nothing wrong.
And for them to be like, well, yeah, but we had a vote and all the carons at the school said that we need your house.
So you can't be a dictator.
Lady, it's my house.
If I say no, then I say no.
What are you gonna do about it?
So, yeah, unfortunately, you probably are gonna burn bridges and get kicked off the PTA,
but I'm actually proud of you OP for standing up for your daughter's sport, for a team,
for your daughter herself. And yeah, people are suffering the consequences of your actions,
but well, maybe they should have asked you before they voted to take all of your money.
OP, you could zero out of five bad guys.
I'm also honestly gonna give the people who are upset at you, even the people who voted
against the change zero out of five bad guys because if I did all the work they did and
donated my time and money and it all got wasted because one person was bitter and spiteful,
then I'd be pissed off too.
I am gonna give a bad guy score to the football people.
They get one out of five bad guys, stop stealing cheerleaders money.
Am I the bad guy for telling my daughter
the truth about her father?
I got pregnant in college when I was 19.
Her father was also in college.
Prior to me and him passionately hugging,
I told him that if anything were to happen,
I would not be getting an abortion.
He said that he understood.
When I got pregnant, he refused
any contact with my baby or responsibility. He took things further by telling my friends
and his family that I'd plan the pregnancy to trap him so they wouldn't judge his actions.
This was untrue. He paid mandatory child support, but it wasn't much. It was hard, but I love my daughter, and I wouldn't change
a thing. She's wonderful and smart, and she's my whole world. My daughter is currently
16 years old. Recently, he reached out to me on Facebook, saying that he wants to be in
my daughter's life. He's married now. I did some online stalking, and his wife has frequently
posted about her infertility struggle.
I was against it because he's had no part of her life. It was me who had to drop out of college,
work two jobs, and endure the sleepless nights of a baby and raise her. It was me who kept her
belly full and kept her warm. He didn't care at all. It was me who endured my friends turning
against me and his family's harassment. It was me who endured my friends turning against me and his family's harassment.
It was me who faced a judgment of society for being a young mom.
And now that he won't be sacrificing his young years, now that he's finished partying,
now that he's got a degree and a job, and his wife can't give him kids to complete
his picket fence life, he wants the kid that I raised for him.
Knowing that he doesn't really have
to do any work other than pick her up now and then, I told him my thoughts and he got mad
saying that I chose to have the baby not him, which tip things over for me.
I asked him to prove that he actually thought about her, like starting a college fund for
her or money for a car.
He didn't, which again proved to me that he only cared when
he couldn't make more kids. I spoke to my daughter, but I told her the type of person that
her father is. I told her that he has nothing for her, and I was honest about the fact that
his wife is infertile, so he's reaching out. I told her everything, and reiterated basically
everything I said in this post. I told her to think about it.
I said that I would support her knowing him, but I affirmed that he is not a nice person
and his intentions are suspect.
She chose to not know him.
After I told him, he got mad.
He said that I ruined his chance to know her, that I'm denying her a father,
and I told him that he's the
one who did that.
My mother told me that I shouldn't have poisoned his image to my daughter, that she probably
feels rejected all over again and she's probably hurting.
I now feel like I've done wrong by her.
Am I the bad guy?
Now I want to be clear whether OP has good intentions and she's really doing it just because she wants her daughter to have the full information
or if she has bad intentions and she's saying this because she wants her daughter to hate the father.
Either way, I think both cases are totally fine because what matters to me here is that the daughter should have this information.
I personally believe really, really strongly that every single person on earth should have a right to know where they come from. So, if your daughter was abandoned by a deadbeat dad who wanted nothing to do with him,
and she wants to know the truth, then in my opinion, you have an obligation to tell her the truth.
Like, the truth might hurt, because often the truth does hurt. I just feel that's right.
I think everyone has a right to know where they come from. So, for that reason and that reason alone, I am 100% on your side.
I think that as long as you give her the facts
in a very like clear and objective way,
we got together at such and such time,
I told him beforehand that I would not get an abortion
and he said he was fine with that
and then after I got pregnant, he left.
And you don't say like,
that did beat loser, left me the first chance he got.
Then I think you're in the clear.
At 16, your daughter is also definitely old enough to understand the nuances of what happened
and make up her own mind.
So if she doesn't want to see him, then she doesn't have to see him.
I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys OP.
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Am I the bad guy for causing a scene and leaving a free vacation over the way my daughter
was being treated?
My brother Nate and his wife, Jen, invited me and my daughter, Maddie, who's 10 to go
on vacation with them and their kids.
Their kids are Laura, who's 12, and Danny, who's 9.
My brother Nate and his wife, Jen, are extremely well off.
They both have high paying jobs and earn around $350,000 between them.
Maddie and I are middle class.
I own a small house and Maddie goes to a private school.
Maddie has a good life, but it doesn't compare to her cousins.
My brother and Jen rented a house for vacation for us and paid for the rental, all the food,
and all the activities.
The only thing I paid for was gas when driving myself and Maddie to the house.
I also have to say that Nate and I don't get along very well, but I have a great relationship
with Jen, mostly because of how they are with the kids.
Nate tells his kids that they don't have to be nice to anyone, never encourages them to
share their toys and doesn't discipline his kids.
Jen is the opposite.
She constantly tells the kids to share with their cousins and will punish them if they're
being rude to the other kids or adults.
Now to the vacation, they rented a three-bedroom house.
Nate and Jen had the master bedroom.
I had the second bedroom with a double bed and all the kids were going to share room with the
two bunk beds, so four beds total. The first night was pretty rough. The kids brought tons of toys,
but refused to let Maddie play with them. Jen came in and told them that before they left,
she had told them that they had to share their toys, so they either share or she would take them away.
They were a little rude, but mostly find the rest of the night.
On the second night, Jen went out to dinner with an old friend and Nate and I were home
with the kids.
We were getting the kids ready for bed, and an argument broke out between the kids, because
Laura and Danny decided they didn't want to share with Maddie and told her to sleep on the couch. I expected Nate to tell them that the bedroom was for all
the kids, but he told Maddie that she either has to sleep with me or on the couch. I asked
if he was serious and he said yes and that his kids weren't comfortable sharing with Maddie,
and since he paid for the house, he has a right to kick Maddie out of the room.
I told Maddie to get her bag and that if she doesn't have a bid, we're going home.
Maybe an hour after we left, Jen came back and asked why Maddie and I left.
I told her what happened and she asked me to come back and promise that she would take care of
her husband and the kids because she wanted her kids to have a good relationship with their cousins.
I said no, and shortly after we got home, I got a call from my brother yelling at me for
causing a scene, for creating problems between him and his wife and being ungrateful for
a free vacation.
He got our parents involved, and they're agreeing that it's a free vacation and I can't
be picky.
Am I the bad guy for leaving with Maddie?
Okay, so this guy's messaging is, since I paid for your vacation, I can't be picky. Am I the bad guy for leaving with Maddie? Okay so this guy's messaging is since I paid for your vacation I have a right to ridicule
you and mistreat you and do whatever I want to just because I'm paying for the room you're
staying in. Nah man yeah he technically has a right to kick you out. Yes that is his
right but at the same time it's your right to leave because SCREW THIS!
Your brother is a major douchebag OP, I'm giving him 3.5 out of 5 bad guys.
Not only is he just a toxic person, but he's teaching his kids to be toxic people as well.
I'll give the wife 0 out of 5 bad guys for doing her best to undo the damage caused
by her toxic husband.
Also OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 bad guys. Not
only did you not do anything wrong here, but I actually think that it was your responsibility
to leave that situation. Because if Maddie's being bullied and you stayed, then you are
basically endorsing the bullying of your daughter. Am I the bad guy for telling my sister that
her baby isn't the only one that matters? I'm a 32 year old man, and I'm
expecting my second child with my wife, who's 30. My wife is 14 weeks pregnant, and we're
really excited. My sister is 25, and her wife is 27, and they're pregnant with their first
child. My sister and her wife did IVF, and my sister is 38 weeks pregnant. I'm very happy
for them, and I think that they'll make great parents.
The other day we all met up to see our grandparents.
They live out of state and don't visit a lot, so when they do, we always set aside time
to see them all together.
My grandparents were talking about how excited they were to see my sister and her wife become
mothers, and they couldn't wait to have their first great granddaughter.
They continued to talk about my sister's baby and didn't even acknowledge my wife's
pregnancy.
I could tell that it was hurting my wife, so I tried to start a conversation to include her,
but it always went back to my sister and my sister-in-law's baby.
I even tried talking about the gender reveal that we're holding soon, but no one seemed
to care.
My wife got upset and walked out of the room.
My sister asked me if everything was okay, and I told her that my wife was upset because she's
feeling left out. My sister-in-law apologized and said that that wasn't her intention.
My mom tried to convince my wife to come back and sit down, but she refused.
My sister told me that my wife can't expect every conversation to be about her, and this
isn't a competition.
I told my sister that her baby isn't the only baby that matters, and ours matters too.
My grandma told me that she would be more than happy to discuss both pregnancies, but it
was too late.
My wife wanted to leave, so that's what we did. I'm now being called a butthole by my parents for making a scene with my grandparents there.
I feel like no one cares enough to see our side on this. Am I the bad guy here?
Man, don't you just love it when OP tries to type the post in a way that makes them look as good and as favorable as possible.
And then still, despite coloring the story to make
them look super sympathetic, they still get ripped apart in the comments.
I'm going to read this reply from Manelia Bird.
You're the bad guy.
I can just see your sister and sister-in-law's version of this post.
We're having our first kid via IVF.
My brother is expecting their second kid in like 6-7 months.
We're doing two weeks.
My grandparents were excited to talk about our coming baby
and my brother kept constantly interrupting us
to tell us about their gender reveal party.
And then his wife ran out of the room sulking
and refused to come back until she was a center of attention.
Also, let's not forget the other relevant detail OP
that these are your grandparents,
not your wife's grandparents.
So it kinda makes sense that your grandparents would be really excited about your sister's
pregnancy because they've known your sister for her entire life.
But as you said, you don't see your grandparents very often, so they've probably met your wife
what, like 10 times, 20 times, just guessing.
I will say the grandparents maybe should have included you more in the conversation and
asked you more questions, but still OP.
You and your wife sound like you have to be the center of attention.
OP, I'm giving you and your wife 1.5 out of 5 bad guys.
I'm giving the grandparents maybe 0.5 out of 5 bad guys, but they might actually deserve
0 out of 5 bad guys because I don't really trust OP's version of events, to be honest.
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