rSlash - r/AITA For DEMANDING My Wife Call Me a Pilot?

Episode Date: March 7, 2023

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Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to our slash, Am I the bad guy, where OP apparently thinks that video games are real life? Am I the bad guy for telling my husband that my daughter doesn't have to accommodate his needs? My daughter is a second year in college, and although she lives at the dorms, during finals, she comes home to learn quietly. My husband, who's not her biological dad, has changed jobs and works full- time from home now. I go to work at the office every day, so they're in the house by themselves. They've always gotten along fairly well.
Starting point is 00:00:32 They both have respect, understanding, and trust for each other. I don't know if there's love, but I can't push it. My husband met my daughter too late to represent a father figure for her, and she never sought him out like that, so he didn't push it. Lately, my daughter complained that my husband has put her to work, disregarding the fact that she's learning. She would stay in her room to study and at some point my husband would knock saying, Hey, I just had lunch. Could you please clean up the table? I'm starting a meeting. Oh, or I spilled some water,
Starting point is 00:01:06 mind wiping it up, I gotta focus on work. Oh my god. Oh my god. Wow okay. My daughter told me that she feels like he doesn't care about her learning time and he doesn't acknowledge that she's also working. She told me she wouldn't have minded if it was a one-time occurrence, but it's become something of a habit of his. To make sure of it, I asked my daughter to not clean up the next time he asks. I caught him red-handed this time. When I came home to a dirty table, I asked my husband to bat it, and he said, well, your daughter should have cleaned it up. My daughter said that she didn't even have lunch today. They don't always eat together.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Sometimes one is hungry and one isn't. This time she didn't have time to clean up the table. I jumped on my husband, telling him that my daughter has exams and came here to learn, not clean up after him. He tried to defend himself, saying that he had an urgent meeting. I told him that he could have come to clean up afterwards and mentioned that I know this is not the first time this has happened. My husband sighed and said that he thought that it's not a big deal for my daughter to spare a couple of minutes to quickly put the dishes in the dishwasher or something like that.
Starting point is 00:02:19 My daughter said that if he thinks it could be done so quickly, why doesn't he do it? I had to break up the argument and tell everyone to clean up after themselves. Later, my husband told me in private that he felt like I humiliated him in front of my daughter. I told him to grow up and stop acting like my daughter will stop picking up after his mess. He got upset. Am I the bad guy?
Starting point is 00:02:42 Okay. I've got a pretty good feeling of why your daughter never sought out a relationship with this guy because he's a sexist and title jerk. Like come on, cleaning up after yourself is the single, most basic task of being an adult. Maybe second most basic after not pooping in your pants. Which I guess also can kind of be considered cleaning up after yourself if you think about it. Like, what is this guy a toddler expecting the nearest grown-up woman to clean up after him? Because he's a boy, he's a man, he doesn't have to deal with this stuff. What a jerk!
Starting point is 00:03:16 OP, you and your daughter get zero out of five bad guys. Your husband gets 1.5 out of five bad guys. Am I the bad guy for making homemade food for everyone, except my brother's stepdaughter? I'm a 27 year old woman, and I am NOT a professional chef. But I have taken a bunch of cooking classes and love making elaborate meals for friends and family. About 2 years ago, my brother Greg, who's 25, married Cheryl, who's 34. Cheryl has a daughter from a previous relationship, Becca, who's 9, who has several health conditions, including Celiac, and a severe dairy allergy that requires her to carry an Epipin.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Last weekend, I hosted a dinner at my house for my parents' wedding anniversary. I made a fancy five-course dinner, and in addition to inviting my parents, I invited four other close family friends, Greg, Cheryl and Becca, my sister and her boyfriend and their twins, both eight. Because of Becca's food restrictions, I found a restaurant in town that specializes in gluten-free, dairy-free food, and I arranged for them to make a full meal for Becca that I could pick up in advance of the party. I've made a variety of specialty meals in the past, and I like the challenge, but knowing how serious Becca's restrictions were, I didn't trust myself to make her meal. I have ADHD and get easily distracted, and if I even used the wrong spoon or didn't
Starting point is 00:04:40 completely wash some flour off a bowl, it could make her incredibly sick. I thought the takeout solution was fine, but when I served the food, I saw Cheryl looking at Becca's plate with a stony face. For her part, Becca started eating and seemed fine. Cheryl whispered to Greg and Greg asked if he could talk to me in the kitchen. When we got there, he said that it was unbelievable that I couldn't be bothered to make something for Becca, that they'd been bragging about what a great cook I am to her, and that he knew that I'd made keto, vegan, and other complicated kinds of food in the past. Now, she would feel left out because she didn't get to eat with the rest of the family was eating.
Starting point is 00:05:20 She said that it was obvious that I didn't care about making his stepdaughter feel like part of the family and that they were leaving. Greg, Cheryl, and Becca then left, which put a damper on the rest of the party. I feel like I did my best at the time, but in hindsight, I wonder if I should have tried harder to make Becca feel included since she's a relatively new addition to our family. Am I the bad guy? You're stuck in an awkward situation OP. You have a special needs kid that you're cooking for, but you don't know exactly how to our family. Am I the bad guy? You're stuck in an awkward situation OP. You have a special needs kid that you're cooking for, but you don't know exactly how to handle it. So you did what
Starting point is 00:05:51 you thought, and what I also think is a pretty good way to handle this. Apparently Greg and Cheryl disagree, but the way to respond to that if they disagree is to like educate you, not get all huffy and storm out of the dinner party because it wasn't exactly to your specifications. So I think the way that OP responded is pretty appropriate, it feels okay to me. I think I'm going to go with zero out of five bad guys because you tried really hard to be accommodating, so I'm giving the parents one out of five bad guys for being all huffy over something that wasn't a big deal.
Starting point is 00:06:24 I actually don't know anyone who has special food considerations, I've never had to like deal with this in my life. So if there are people in the comments who have experience with this and have great insight on how OPE should have responded, I'd love to hear from you. Am I the bad guy for moving out when my parents asked me to pay rent? I'm 23 years old and I'm the oldest of five siblings and a full-time student. I also have a part-time job in my field, but when I complete my after-degree, my employer will take me on full-time. I make enough money from my part-time work to pay for school
Starting point is 00:06:56 and put money aside. My siblings are all 10 to 20 years old. Both of our parents work full-time. I've taken on a lot of the responsibilities for keeping everything running in the house. I do the grocery shopping, the laundry, as well as making suffers and doing meal preps, so everyone has lunches ready to take every day. I also get all my siblings to do their chores. For example, my youngest brother is responsible for feeding and walking the dog, so I make sure that there's dog food in the storage and poop bags on the leash. My dad works very long hours, and my mom works 9-5 at a hard job. Over Christmas, I had a chance to buy a PlayStation 5 for myself, so I did. The rest of my
Starting point is 00:07:38 family is still using a shared PlayStation 4. I keep mine in my room, and I do not share. My parents started fielding complaints from my oldest brother about how I made so much money and I don't share the things I buy for myself, which is totally true. So they had a talk with me where they brought this up. I pointed out how much of the household work I did and they said that it wasn't fair that I was earning so much money without contributing. They told me how much money they expected from me. I went to my room and did the math.
Starting point is 00:08:08 If I gave them what they wanted, I would have about 800 bucks a month left over. If I dropped a couple of classes next semester, I could go to almost full-time hours with my employer and it would only be one more year until I graduated with my second degree. But I could afford my own place and I would have way more free time and disposable income. So I packed up and moved out. Everything I owned fit inside my car. I stayed at an Airbnb for two weeks until I could get everything sorted with an apartment, school, and work. It was great. I'm not gonna lie. I may have gone a little overboard on Tinder. I wasn't allowed to have women over to my parents' house.
Starting point is 00:08:47 I just moved into my own apartment. I'm gonna keep working part-time until I finish this semester. Then I'll work full-time over the summer and go to a lighter class load and hire work hours in the fall. My oldest brother has been tasked by my parents to do everything that I used to do. His chores have been split up among the other three. They're all pissed at me for moving out. My parents are upset that I left them in the lurch. My siblings are mad that they all have more chores. My oldest brother is especially salty
Starting point is 00:09:16 because he has no free time to see his girlfriend and she's not allowed in the house when my parents aren't home. I'm enjoying my free time. I bought myself a plant for my Kia. I feel bad for screwing them all over, but it didn't make sense for me to do all that work and pay rent on top of it. Opie, you're 23 years old going off to live on your own in an apartment that you're paying for by yourself. That's not screwing your family over, that's just being an adult and living your life. Basically, since your parents forced you to be a parent to your siblings, they taught you how to manage a household and be responsible and be smart with your money.
Starting point is 00:09:54 And then, oh my god, our son, who we taught to be incredibly independent and resourceful, has now gone off on his own to be incredibly independent and resourceful. How could we have not seen this coming? Not only not the bad guy here, but I think people should actually be applauding you because you were a good sibling and now you're being a good adult. I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys, OP. I'm giving your parents and your siblings one out of five bad guys for their hypocrisy and their entitlement.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Okay, this next post has gone super, super viral for very obvious reasons, as you'll soon see. And I'm guessing some of you have already heard it before. I record my episodes several weeks in advance, so I'm a little behind the curve here, I got to the party kinda late. So if you're one of those people who's heard this story before, then you can end the video now.
Starting point is 00:10:42 I'd love it if you stick around, but just so you know, there's no stories this, I want to be respectful of your time if you've already heard it. Am I the bad guy for asking my wife to respect my title as pilot? I need the opinion of aviation geeks and pilots on a matter involving my wife. I'm completely serious and I need help. My wife and I have been together for five years, married for two. We have no kids and have an amazing happy relationship. I can't recall a single time that we've ever argued to the point of breakup or divorce. This issue, however, is causing me to reconsider the health of our relationship. Since my wife and I have been together, I've worked as a manager
Starting point is 00:11:22 for a restaurant chain. I'm an extremely passionate aviation enthusiast in my free time. I've spent thousands of dollars on flight textbooks, sim gear, and even built my own A330 setup. I've never actually flown a plane or started flight training, but I've considered it for a very long time. Even though my skills aren't a career, I still consider myself as adept or possibly more knowledgeable than the average pilot. That being said, here's where the problem arises. My wife and I were invited to one of her male co-workers' houses for a barbecue. My wife is a senior software tech for a COVID startup. She's worked there since 2020. It was a lucky catch since she was laid off from her previous job due to the virus.
Starting point is 00:12:07 It was my first time meeting many of her now-closed coworkers due to COVID and working from home. I had assumed that she had talked about me to them before, but as we were cycling through introductions, I became less sure. We make our way down the line to the host of the party, a new male hire that she's grown platonically close with. We exchange casual conversation, and Greg, the host, asks what I do for a living. My wife chimes in with, he manages to such and such fast food chain, it certainly comes with some benefits. I'm assuming she was referring to free food there. She said this in a voice that implied nothing was wrong with what she said.
Starting point is 00:12:44 I very quickly corrected her and told her that I'm a pilot. My wife already knows how insecure I am about my job and how I'd much rather be introduced by my hobby. I've earned the title of pilot through my 500 plus hours on the sim and thousands of dollars put into my craft. I think it's incredibly disrespectful for her not to acknowledge my skills and training. Just because I don't have the title of pilot on an overpriced piece of paper doesn't mean that I'm not a pilot. I laughed it off with Greg and told him under my breath that my wife was often forgetful, which I'm sure
Starting point is 00:13:20 he's realized just from working with her. He seemed to brush it off casually. At this point, I'm fuming, but I don't go much farther than exchanging some nasty glances at my wife for the rest of the night, as we pack into the car to leave unargument starts. She feels as if I don't deserve my title as pilot because I'm not professional. I told her that she's completely insensitive to the work that I've done, and she'll never understand what it's like to study so much. She's currently on the couches I type this. Am I really the bad guy for asking to be respected? Opie, you're getting ripped apart in the comments, but honestly, I understand where you're coming from. I also have spent thousands of dollars on a hobby, video games, and have
Starting point is 00:14:04 spent 500 plus hours practicing on them. That's why whenever me and my wife goes out, I prefer that she introduces me as a blood elf demon hunter. And as a demon hunter, I have demon wings, and I shoot laser beams out of my eyes. Look, I've earned this title, and sometimes it feels like my wife just doesn't understand all the work that I put into protecting Azeroth from demons and the undead. Ah, I don't know, man. Some people think this is a troll, and it could be a troll. If it is a troll, it's a very, very funny troll. Also, let's not forget, there are literally people who think that they're Napoleon Bonaparte walking around dressed like Napoleon Bonaparte and introducing themselves as Napoleon Bonaparte, so considering that level of EDC. I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that people like this guy can also exist.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Oh man, anyways OP, I'm giving you 2.5 out of 5 bad guys, because your wife is just completely normal. If anything, you lucked out OP because she puts up with your complete nonsense here. Your wife could zero out of five bad guys. Also from here on out, if any of you call me a YouTuber or a podcaster in the comments, I'm giving you five out of five bad guys, I prefer if you use my official term, Demon Hunter. That was our slash of my D.A. And if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. without new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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