rSlash - r/AITA for Flipping Out at My Son's Wedding?

Episode Date: March 17, 2023

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on the same points vet app. The platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. Welcome to R-Slash. Am I the bad guy where OP tells her stepmom to drop dead in front of friends and family? Am I the bad guy for telling my dad's wife to drop dead in front of her friends and family? I'm a 17 yearyear-old girl,

and my mom died a little over a year ago. I was living with her full time before she passed. She left me a lot of money and her house. Since the house was just going to stay empty until I was done with college, my aunt on my mom's side and I talked about it, and we agreed that she would stay there since she's taken care of my grandma and her place was small. I'll move back in once I finished my schooling. My dad assumed that my mom left me her money and let the house to my aunt. I didn't correct him because I don't trust my dad or have a great relationship with him. I'm currently living with him, his wife Jan and her twin daughters, who are 17 and both lovely people were all living together

in a three-bit room flat. Two months ago my dad found out that my mom left me the house. I'm not sure how he found out, but he did. Since then, I haven't heard the end of it that I'm selfish for making us all stay in a tiny flat, that I'm spoiled because I won't share my inheritance, that I'm a terrible person for making the twins take out loans. You get the gist. This weekend was the twins birthday at my grandma's house. Most of my dad's family was there, and we usually get along great. Also my dad's wife's family was there, along with both of their friends and some of the twins friends as well. After the twins were done opening my present to them, they asked me if that was really it. I got them matching bracelets with their birthstones,

which they both loved by the way. Things got quiet, and I asked them what else they were expecting. They said that their mom said that I was planning on surprising them on their birthday by telling them that we were moving into my mom's house and helping them with college. My grandma asked my stepmom, Jan, if that was true, and Jan started in on me again. She asked what she could do to make me stop being a B word to pull my weight, help out, and be fair. I told her she could drop dead. That my mom had to die for me to get these things.

I said, if she wanted everything to be fair, then she should drop dead, and I would share everything I had with her daughters since then we would have all lost a mother. That it would only be fair after that happened. She and my dad started yelling at me, and my grandma and uncle started yelling at my dad and Jan, and everything was pretty much over after that. The whole ride home, my dad and Jan were getting was pretty much over after that. The whole ride home, my dad and Jan were getting calls and texts from family and friends telling them that they were disappointed in them. And I was getting texts from Jan's family, the twins' friends,

and a few of my cousins saying that I was selfish. I don't usually fight with my cousins, so I'm really starting to think that maybe I am being selfish and that I went too far at the twins party Am I the bad guy? Okay, here's the thing Opie, this is like an important life lesson. It's okay to be selfish. This is your money, this is your house. Is keeping your money in your house selfish? Of course it is. Would it be self-liss to give those things to other people? Yes, of course it would. But just because it's selfish to hold onto your money doesn't mean it's wrong or evil. What this is, OP is manipulation, plain and simple.

Your mom died, and your dad and your stepmom's response to that is, cha-ching jackpot! They're using every trick they can to squeeze money out of you OP and you can not let them. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving your father and your stepmother 3.5 out of 5 bad guys. Expecting your 17 year old daughter to bail you out financially is extremely selfish. Just remember OP, even though I'm criticizing them for being selfish, sometimes selfishness is okay, like in your instance for example. Down in the comments I'm going to read this reply from Obadelia because this comment

is spot on. Not the bad guy. At 17, I wouldn't have had the verbal creativity or emotional fortitude to so expertly advocate for myself. You are, in fact, a hero for ensuring that your aunt has housing security as she cares for your age and grandmother, for standing up for yourself in the face of the emotional immaturity of the adults around you and for investing in yourself.

Carry on, Queen. Am I the bad guy for leaving my son's wedding after he denied his stepmom a mother-son dance? My son, Jordan, is 27. His stepmom a mother Sundance. My son Jordan is 27. His stepmom Natalie came into his life when he was 16. His mom had passed away when he was 13. Jordan never really considered Natalie to be his mom. He refused to let her get close and shut down every attempt to have a close relationship. He even moved in with his aunt months after Natalie and I got married. As years went by, they started reconciling and seeing each other more often. He invited us to his

wedding, which took place days ago. We got there, and the atmosphere was great, until later, when I found out that Jordan had denied Natalie a mother's Sundance, and instead chose his aunt to dance with him. Natalie told me this after the fact, and I couldn't help feel irritated and quite upset. I decided to get up and leave, and we both left. I got calls from my family after they saw me leave, and Jordan called later, and I told him why I did it. He got mad and said that it was his wedding, and that his aunt is basically a mother to him and that Natalie shouldn't expect special treatment. I said it's not special treatment, it's a tradition.

Besides, he heard her feeling for no other reason than the sake of being malicious. He got offended and accused me of ruining his day and causing a scene. Now, the family sided with him and said that I shouldn't have left no matter what. Opie, you're upset about your wife not being treated as a mother, but at no point in Jordan's life has she ever actually been a mother to him. Jordan lived with Natalie for, what, like three months or something? And he's supposed to see her as a mother figure after that? Huh? Opie, you're definitely the bad guy here.

If you want to salvage a relationship with your son, I strongly recommend that you apologize for, honestly, throwing a temper tantrum at his wedding. OP, you get 2.5 out of 5 bad guys. I don't know if I can give Natalie a bad guy a score here because it's not clear if she was even upset about it. The only thing that we know that Natalie did was just report what happened. So I'm giving her just question mark out of five bad guys. I'm guessing she's probably pretty toxic otherwise why would he have to move out at the age of 16 but you know I don't

really know what the situation is so I'm not gonna pass judgment. Also I'm giving Jordan zero out of five bad guys. Fundamentally, it's his wedding. So if he wants to dance with his aunt, he can dance with his aunt. Am I the bad guy for grounding my daughter for leaving her sister with the neighbor? I'm a single mom of three kids, Polly who's 16, Trevor who's 12, and Cassie who's eight.

I have little to no support. Their father left after Cassie was born, and I have no family nearby. I have two babysitters that I can call on as needed and I would use them before I would ever ask Polly for help. I don't want Polly missing out on her teenage years. Before this incident, I only ever asked her to babysit once because I had no one else and I paid her 15 bucks an hour which at the time was above minimum wage.

This past Saturday, Polly was due to hang out with some friends. For a couple of days, my middle child Trevor was ill, but testing negative for COVID. That day, he spiked a very high fever, and I had to take him to the emergency room. I asked Polly to watch her little sister Cassie because the babysitters weren't responding. I apologize that she would have to miss out on time with friends, but I said that I would pay her and she could even have her friends over at our place. Polly pitched a fit and asked why I couldn't send Cassie to the neighbors, but we don't know them. They moved in last month and outside of waving when we get our mail, I do not have a relationship with

them. Polly was irritated. I told her that I'd pay her 18 bucks an hour and that I had to go. I took Trevor to the emergency room and we had to wait for a bit. Polly kept asking if the babysitters responded, but they hadn't. Eventually, it was our time to be seen, so I told Polly that I'd be out of reach for a bit. Turns out Trevor had a bad case of RSV, which is respiratory syncytal virus.

This was due to his pre-existing health problems, and he had to be admitted for the night. I was terrified. When I called Polly to update her, I heard people talking in the background, and I said, oh, you had your friends come over? She told me NO that she dropped Cassie at the neighbors and went out. I was furious. I told her to go home and get her sister. I then asked for the neighbor's number, but she didn't even ask for it, which I get

teenage logic and all, but still! At first, Polly refused until I told her that she was grounded. I made her FaceTime with me when she got home to show that Cassie was with her. Eventually, my mom was able to make the two-hour drive down to stay with the girls, but I told her to not let Polly leave the house. The next day, Trevor and I were able to come home. I lectured Polly about what she did and grounded her for two weeks. She got mad at me and said that I can't

expect her to drop her plans. I pointed out that I never do, but this was an emergency and her brother was sick. She told me that's not my problem. She's also mad because I won't pay her. I apologize profusely to the neighbor who said that it was okay and that he would have called me, but Polly didn't give him my number either. Polly said that I overreacted. Am I the bad guy? Alright, I've read a lot of posts on the subreddit of parents who just selfishly shoved their kids off to other kids and expect them to babysit for free. It's just like life-long, free babysitting service. This was not that type of story. What we have here is a caring and concerned mother who had a legitimate medical emergency.

Polly said, you can't expect me to drop my plans. Yeah, you can. When one of your kids has an incredibly high fever and has to get hospitalized overnight, yes, you can. You can absolutely expect someone to change your plans under those conditions. In fact, you can! You can absolutely expect someone to change your plans under those conditions. In fact, you shouldn't even have to ask Polly, she should just volunteer this service. Like it's not your problem, girl, this is your younger sister. And yeah, technically it is the mom's responsibility, but don't you have any love or care for your sister at all, or for your brother for that matter. I mean, yeah, I get it.

She's 16 and is there anything on Earth more self-absorbed than a 16-year-old? Honestly, OP, I think two weeks is a little on the light side. The fact that she handed off her 8-year-old sister to a complete stranger. Oh, geez. That could have gone very, very, very badly. That could have gone very badly. That could have gone very badly. That could have gone really badly. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys.

I'm giving your daughter, Polly, four out of five bad guys. Handing off a four year old girl to a stranger in the middle of a medical emergency is awful, just awful. So you can go hang with your friends, give me a break. Am I the bad guy for telling my fiance that my friend's trauma is more important than her comfort? My best friend lost a parent a year and a half ago, which led him to a mental health crisis. Our friend group has been picking up the pieces ever since.

He's doing much better now that he's in therapy, but he's definitely gone through it. What has complicated matters worse is my fiance. It goes without saying that I love her, but she's the definition of a busy body sometimes. My best friend is a very private person. My fiance knows something happened with him, but she doesn't know the details of what that something is. She probably never will. But because she's around me and my friends often, because my fiance and I live in the same house, she hears

bits and pieces of the story and presses for more information. I try to circumvent this as best I can. For example, I step out of the room for specific phone conversations. But still, it's hard to limit the discussion about it sometimes. If it's necessary to bring it up when my girlfriend is around, we'll refer to it as the Nolan situation without giving specifics. Nolan will stop by my place at night when he can't sleep. This doesn't happen all that often, maybe twice a month. He'll text me or call me saying that he's outside. I'll go sit with him and maybe smoke a little bit, then he'll head home.

I'll wait up until I know that he got home safely, then I go back to sleep. My fiance hates this. She claims the phone calls always wake her up, but they don't. She just sometimes happens to wake up for the bathroom when I'm outside. And that me not being in bed is alarming. This brings us to last night. No one stopped by, and when I came back inside, my fiance said that she was putting a stop to it. She said all this sneaking around

is making her paranoid. She doesn't feel like she can properly trust me or be a part of my friend group without knowing all the details and that Nolan needs to stop relying on me so much. I told her that no matter whether we're married, dating, whatever, she will never have any ownership over my friend's trauma, and that she was never going to be able to order me around in regards to it. I also said that her comfort was less important than someone's actual physical well-being. She was obviously hurt by this and went to stay with her mom after work today. Am I the bad guy? And OP clarifies, yes, she knows that Nolan lost a parent. But she doesn't

know the aftermath beyond the statement that he had a mental health crisis. And yes, Nolan specifically asked me not to tell her. Okay, I'm trying to put myself in your fiancee shoes. And if my fiance was constantly talking and cowering around me and having secret phone calls and sneaking off in the middle of the night to do who knows what because she didn't tell me that she was leaving, all I know is that I wake up and she's not in the bed. Then yeah, I'd be suspicious too. Even if it's completely harmless and you're just hanging out with a friend,

still it's weird and suspicious. And who wouldn't be disturbed by that kind of behavior? I think that your intentions are in the right place, OP, but unfortunately your execution just isn't there. It's very, very possible to respect your friend's trauma while also respecting your fiance, but it doesn't sound like you're doing that.

Also, someone down in the comments called OP an unreliable narrator and I kind of agree, I feel like I'm missing something here. I don't know what exactly. I feel like I'm missing a puzzle piece. Do you guys get the same vibe? Anyways OP, I think I'm going to give you one out of five bad guys for not respecting your partner enough and I'm giving your girlfriend zero out of five bad guys for not respecting your partner enough and I'm giving your girlfriend zero out of five bad guys because I think her reaction is honestly pretty understandable.

Some people are saying that Nolan is actually manipulating OP and he might be. I don't know if that's the case, it's definitely a possibility. So if Nolan is manipulating OP into like getting comfort kind of outside of the normal scope of what's appropriate, then he might also deserve a bad guy score as well. Like it's just a little weird that Nolan only shows up to OP's place, only spins a night at OP's place. What about the other friends? I don't know, this story is, I'm missing something here, we're missing something.

I really wish we had the fiance's version of events. That was our slash of my D.A. and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.