rSlash - r/AITA For Insulting a Woman Dying of Cancer?
Episode Date: March 20, 2023https://www.youtube.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Welcome to R-Slashe.
Am I the bad guy where OP mocks the dying wish of a woman dying of cancer?
Am I the bad guy for refusing to help my neighbors and her two young children when their wipers
were frozen?
I'm a 59 year old man who lives
in a major city in Ontario, Canada. I live in a small subdivision with only five neighbors total
in my street. For the past few years, during the winter, when we're getting a lot of snow or
bad storms, as I'm leaving for my overnight shift at around 8 to 9 pm, I'll put my wife's windshield
wipers up on her car and do a quick walk around to my other five neighbors and put their windshield wipers up on their cars as
well.
I obviously won't do it if they're outside or something, but I will if it looks like
they're inside for the night.
Many of them forget to do this because they have small kids and typically it slips their
mind.
And as a result, their wipers will be frozen to their car in the morning.
It's just something nice I like to do to look out for my neighbors.
They're always grateful of this and thank me for it.
Many of them started doing it too, and there will be nights when I'll forget to put
mine in my wife's up, and in the morning one of the neighbors has done it for us.
Anyway, recently one of our neighbors moved, and a new family moved in last week.
It's a young couple and they're two young kids.
The other night I was leaving for my overnight shift at around 9 p.m.
It was snowing really heavily and we were supposed to be getting almost 30 cm of snow
and it was freezing out so I put my wives wipers up and do my usual quick walk around
to the other neighbors.
I was hesitant when I reached my new neighbor's house because I had only introduced myself
once, but I did it anyways. As I was putting up their second wiper on their pickup truck,
the husband came charging out of his front door yelling, hey, what the eff are you doing
to my truck? I tried to explain to him that I was just putting his wipers up to help him. He continued to scream at me to get the hell off my property
and don't touch my stuff again. Then the wife came out and started yelling at me too.
I apologized and started walking away. Some of my other neighbors heard the commotion and
came outside to see what was happening. They tried explaining to him too that it's just something we do,
but both of them were not having it.
Fast forward to this morning.
I'm arriving home from my overnight shift,
and as I'm walking in,
I see the wife of this couple struggling outside
to break the ice off the windshield wipers of the truck.
I guess she was trying to take her kids to school
and the wipers were frozen
solid on the car. She sees me and yells over it. Hey there, do you mind giving me a hand
please? I look over to her and yell back, no, sorry, I thought that I was never to touch
your stuff again ma'am and walked back inside. She yelled back at me, wow, uh, wow, wow, uh, wow,
wow, uh,
wow, uh,
the AHAs and capitals,
wow, uh,
is this a Canadian thing?
What did I,
wait, what is this?
What did I just read?
She yelled back at me,
wow, uh,
I told my wife about this
and she thinks I should have helped her
because she was just trying to get her kids to school.
I disagreed because I was just following what they told me.
Am I the bad guy?
Down in the comments, I'm gonna read this reply from LeeLide
because I think they really hit it on the head.
Not the bad guy for refusing to help.
I understand why the neighbors might have had the initial.
WTF, get away from my truck reaction,
but that's only excusable for like 30 seconds.
Once you explained that you were trying to help and they saw that literally every other
car had the wipers up, they should have at minimum apologized for yelling at you, even
if they didn't want to accept your help.
It's good to refuse help to people who rejected your help, especially for the exact problem
that you tried to help them with.
They'll either solve their problem themselves or learn not to shout so much before getting the facts.
I agree, OP, I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys.
I'm giving them 0.5 out of five bad guys.
Mostly, they just got what's coming to them.
Really, the only thing I can say about this story is,
wow, oh!
Also, Canadians, can you please explain yourself
in the comments?
Is this the thing that Canadians say or is this woman just weird and makes weird noises when she's upset?
Wow, wha?
Am I the bad guy for telling someone they're selfish for asking a 22-year-old to become a child's guardian?
I'm a 22-year-old woman, and my boyfriend, Malcolm, who's 22, has a half-sister, Alina, who's 12.
Malcolm and Alina have the same dad, but he's not involved in their lives.
Their moms became close friends, and they were raised seeing one another.
Malcolm's mom moved abroad a couple of years ago.
Alina's mom, Sandra, was diagnosed with cancer last year.
She went through treatment, but it's been determined that there's nothing they can do,
but make her comfortable.
Sandra will pass sometime this year.
She has no other family.
Malcolm has spent a lot of time caring for Alina, driving her to school, making the meals, etc.
Recently, Malcolm sat me down.
He said that Sandra asked to speak to him.
She said that she understood if the answer was no, but asked
for him to take on the custody of Alina. Sooner rather than later, that way she could
adjust to him being her guardian before she passes. Malcolm would move in with him.
Sandra has a sizeable life insurance policy and an account to help him care for Alina.
To my surprise, he agreed to all of this without consulting me. I pointed this
out, and he said that we've only been together for six months. I asked, didn't he feel too
young for all this? Oh geez, yeah, okay. Never mind the 12 year old girl losing her only
parent. Don't you think maybe she's too young for this OP? Okay, sorry. Oh, what a hypocritical douchey thing to say. Alright, my boyfriend said, yeah, sort of, but I'll do it for Alina. Without further discussion,
he subleased his apartment and moved in with Sandra and Alina. Saturday, I stopped by to pick up Malcolm
for lunch. He hadn't returned from work yet, so I was waiting with Sandra. We were making small talk,
and she mentioned how grateful she was for Malcolm and that he was a sweet Sandra. We were making small talk and she mentioned how grateful
she was for Malcolm and that he was a sweet boy. I asked if he was really her only option.
I mentioned Malcolm's mom. Sandra said that Elena is losing enough, so she doesn't
want to force her to move her broad on top of everything else. She also doesn't feel
right asking Malcolm's mom to move back. I said that I found the whole thing a little selfish.
Malcolm is only 22.
He shouldn't be tied down raising a child.
Sandra got defensive and said that she wished she didn't have to ask him.
Plus he said yes.
I asked what else was he supposed to say.
Sandra told me that I was upsetting her and asked me to leave.
Malcolm called me later, screaming at me.
He said that I upset Sandra.
I said that I was trying to defend him
and point out options that she may not have thought of.
Malcolm told me to butt out and to get on board with this
or walk away.
He hasn't spoken to me since.
I saw Alina at the mall on Sunday and she ignored me.
My mom told me that I screwed up big time. Am I the bad guy?
Man, Opie, you're the bad guy on so many different levels. Oh geez, oh my, where do you,
where do I even start? First, let's go with the easy one. Your boyfriend is basically losing
his mother. This woman, Sandra, is essentially his adopted mother and he's losing her to cancer
and you're insulting her while
she's dying of cancer. You're insulting your boyfriend's dying adopted mother. That alone
gets you a bad guy score.
Then you've got a dying woman who's desperate to have someone care for her kid because
no one else is around to and you basically say, well, we don't want your kid. We don't
want your kid. Why would I want to take care of your kid?
Can't someone else take care of him?
Eugh.
That also alone deserves a bad guy's score.
I mean, if you don't want to raise this kid,
then that's entirely your choice.
You have every right to decide that.
But to say that to the woman's face as she's dying
and probably her biggest fear in the world is,
what if my daughter, you know, doesn't have a home,
doesn't have a family?
Oh, jeez.
Then, oh, man, it just keeps going.
The third thing you did, which is equally as awful as the other two things, is that you're
trying to interfere in Malcolm's family life.
You seem to just be assuming that Malcolm doesn't want the kid, but this is Malcolm's half-sister.
Maybe he wants to raise her. Maybe he wants to raise her, maybe
he wants to be close with her because they share blood. And you're interfering with this
and potentially undermining his relationships with his stepmother and his half sister,
that might actually be the worst one, I think. Right? What if OP had succeeded? What if OP had
this conversation with Sandra? And Sandra was like, oh my gosh,
you're right, I shouldn't do this. And she withdrew the offer. And then Malcolm lives his whole
life wondering why Sandra changed her mind and never getting an answer, because OP secretly undermined
his efforts to be close with his sister. Yeah, I think that might actually be the worst of the three.
Guys, did I miss any? I'm kinda losing count here of all the ways
that OP is terrible.
Oh man, what makes this so bad is you've been dating
for six whole months.
Six months, OP, that's a drop in the bucket.
OP, I'm giving you, gosh, I think 4.5 out of five
bad guys, is that too harsh?
I also gotta point out lots of people are parents at 22.
You're kind of insulting young parents?
There's nothing wrong with being a parent at 22.
I mean, yeah, your life isn't super established, but if you wanna have a kid at 22, you have
every right to have a kid at 22.
I genuinely hope that he dumps you OP because based on this story, I think you would be
a terrible stepmother to Alina.
OP, all I can really say to you is, wow!
Am I the bad guy for refusing to stop cooking and eating in my kitchen because of my roommates,
girlfriends, condition? I feel like this is entirely ridiculous. I live with my roommate, Matt.
We used to be pretty close friends, but over the last two years of living with him, we've
drifted apart, and I'm just waiting for our lease to end so I can move out on my own.
Matt's girlfriend, Sarah, pretty much lives with us despite not paying rent.
I won't lie, she annoys me to no end.
She's an entitled airhead who thinks the world revolves around her.
Anyways, Sarah has a condition where she gets nauseous at the slightest smell and sight
of certain foods.
She's an incredibly picky eater, and anything outside of corn dogs or chicken tenders makes
her nauseous, according to her.
Well, unfortunately for her, I like to cook.
I love heavily spiced foods, and love to cook Asian-style dishes.
So, living with a toddler who can't stand the smell really sucks. Sarah's always complained
about me cooking smelly foods and has asked me to stop or to do it when she's not home.
Well, considering that she doesn't pay rent and spends 18 hours a day at my home, I haven't
accommodated her at all.
Last night, Sarah and Matt sat me down and told me that I need to stop cooking because Sarah
can't stand it anymore.
Apparently, she had a mental breakdown last week when I was cooking curry.
She claims that I'm making our apartment a hostile environment by ignoring her concerns.
I told both of them to piss off until Sarah starts paying her share of the rent.
Matt said that because he lives here, his opinion matters as well, and he wants me to stop.
I told him no to that as well because he's only doing this because Sarah is being a baby.
We ended up having a massive argument, and neither of them is talking to me now.
Both of them are staying at Sarah's mom's house right now, and I say good riddance.
At least, I did until I told the story to my co-workers, and they were all shocked.
They say that I'm being a complete A-hole.
This has given me second thoughts on if I was the bad guy in the fight that we had.
I predict that down in the comments everyone's gonna be talking about rent. R, rent, rent, once she pays rent she can have an opinion. And
yeah that's a good stance to take. But my issue is it doesn't even apply. Even if she did
pay rent, you would still be able to cook whatever you want. Even if we just remove Sarah from
the equation and it was your roommate Matt who got nauseous at the sight of food and he asked you to stop making that stuff
So tough look. It's your apartment that you're paying for with your harder and money
So if you want to cook curry in your kitchen, then you have every right to do so
I could see an argument if like she were deathly allergic to shellfish or peanuts and you wanted to cook you know
Peanut and crusted, then she'd
have a case.
But I don't like the smell of curry, it makes my tummy rumbly, tough luck, lady.
OP, you get an easy zero out of five bad guys.
I don't know what your co-workers are on about.
I'm giving your roommates 1.5 out of five bad guys.
Am I the bad guy for telling my daughter that she was being a brat after she cried about
blowing out her birthday candles?
I have four kids, ages 23, 2016, and 13.
This concerns my oldest, Zara.
We don't normally do big parties in our family after people get older, but Zara has been
going through a bit of a difficult time, so we decided to throw her a surprise party.
This was yesterday.
It was a big family party, and Zara was enjoying it.
Then we brought out the cake.
I have a lot of young nieces and nephews, so naturally they wanted to stand up with Zara,
and she had no issues with that.
When she went to blow out the candles, my five-year-old nieces blew out most of them before
her.
Everyone laughed it off, and my youngest actually put 23 candles
on the cake, so there were still a few lit. I told Zara to blow those out. She did, but
she looked angry and started crying. Then she walked off.
After that, it got quite awkward, and my sister, the mom of the girl who blew out the candles,
got upset and embarrassed. She said that her daughter's a kid and didn't mean to do it and she didn't think that Zara would act like this. We all calmed
her down that it's not their fault. I talked to Zara and told her that she's being a selfish brat
and making a scene. She's 23 and she's getting mad about birthday candles. Zara is still upset and
my other kids are telling me that I wasn't being fair with Zara.
Okay, I think I have a sense for why Zara is going through a rough time.
Probably because you and other family members don't support her.
Opie, this is Zara's birthday.
If she wants to blow out the candles, she gets to blow out the candles.
And then you comfort the perpetrator and say, oh, it's not your fault, but it is her fault.
The mom, I mean, the five year old, yeah, technically the five year old is at fault for doing
the wrong thing, but really when a five year old messes up it's more the parents fault
than it is the kids fault.
So why are you comforting the mom of the niece?
She did mess up.
And you're calling your daughter a brat on her own birthday?
Oh, Pee, you suck, man, you suck.
Oh, Pee, I'm giving you and the mother of the
girl who blew out the candles 2 out of 5 bad guys. I guess it would be fair to give
the 5 year old girl 1 out of 5 bad guys, does that feel reasonable? I guess so, I think.
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