rSlash - r/AITA for Ruining My STUPID Daughter's Future?

Episode Date: March 31, 2023

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wedding's first dance song because of my step sister's association with it? My husband and I chose our first dance song. My step sister is not at all happy because she and her ex-husband also had this at their wedding and she said that she has a lot of memories with this particular song. She asked if I could change it. I told her I get it but this is what we want and I don't want to change it. She said she understood but she's been acting different around me and I can tell that she's mad and upset about it. Most people who know about this don't think that I'm doing anything wrong, but I had my sister and one of my friends tell me that I'm being selfish and not understanding here. Am I the bad guy?

Okay, um, down in the comments, OP answers a question. The song has come what may from the Mulan Rouge movie. My sister sees it as their song because she and her ex first met at the movies when they both went to watch it. Then apparently, the restaurant they went to for their first date was also playing it, so they took it as a sign. And as I said, they also played it at their wedding, and she also sings it to them sometimes now. I think it's a really nice song and I like to play it too,

but I don't wanna have to change it. And then someone asks, aren't they divorced? And Opie says, yes, a few months after they got married, he was in a wreck. He thankfully survived, but has very severe traumatic brain injuries among other things. He lives in a specialized nursing home.

They did get divorced, but my sister still goes on about how she loves him and visits him occasionally. He doesn't remember who he is most of the time, but my sister said that she apparently sang this song to him, and he looks like he remembers her, her words. Okay, mystery solved! Now I see why there's 16,000 upvotes on this. Now how you read a story? And you're like, I feel like something's missing here. I feel like OP is not giving us the full picture.

What are we missing? Now I get it. Wow, that completely changes the story. Not oh, geez. Okay, so not only is what OP doing awful but she intentionally hid the most relevant facts from us so that we would be on her side oh god OP this is what's the word monstrous I think this is this is kind of monstrous this is probably the most traumatic event in your step-sisters life

and it's all surrounded around this one song that song is at the most traumatic event in your step-sister's life, and it's all surrounded around this one song. That song is at the heart of the single most traumatic event in your step-sister's entire life. It isn't possible for her to hear that song without imagining the life that she lost, the husband that she's lost, the tragedy of him being a prisoner in his own body, and you're like, yeah, but I like the song too, so I'm gonna play it. Oh god. Honestly, if I were in your

step-sister shoes, I wouldn't even read that as like a coincidence that you like the song too. I would read that as you are intentionally trying to hurt me and remind me of my personal tragedy. There's a million, billion love songs out there and you have to choose that one as your first dance song. Why? I mean yeah, it's your wedding so if you want to play it, you can play it but you have to understand that if you do this you're basically nuking your relationship with your step sister. Is that really worth it over a song? Because it wouldn't be to me. People have said that I've been to harsh and judgmental and I'm getting a lot better at mellowing out the vacation really helped.

So I hope you guys will agree with me on this one. I'm giving OP 4 out of 5 bad guys. This is pretty nasty. God, man! I'm trying to imagine how I would feel if the love of my life lost her brain was just catatonic in a coma and we had one song and we loved

each other dearly and that was our one song and then I go to someone else's wedding and I see someone else dancing to me and my loved one song and the emotions that would make me feel I would I'd probably be weeping I'd be weeping and then to know that that person did that intentionally knowing what I went through I don't know if I could look at them the same way afterwards. Feels more like 4.5 out of 5 bad guys. Am I the bad guy for not wanting to pay for my daughter's education only under certain conditions?

I'm a 52 year old man and I have two kids, a son who's 26 and a daughter who's 19. When my son went to college, I thought college would open up opportunities, and he was supposed to major in computer science, but he failed a bunch of classes and changed his major to something less lucrative. He went to school out of state, and I now realize that this was a poor investment. I didn't want to make the same mistakes with my daughter. She also wants to do computer science, and last year she got into a foreign university in the UK, which she says is like Stanford over there. I didn't want the same thing to happen to her, so I told her that I can't help her pay for that

and to go to a local state university or community college and then transfer. She ended up not going and deferred her admission to see if this year she can get alone, which I'm not in favor of, but it's her life, or if she can get a scholarship for a better American college. She seems a little annoyed at me, since effectively her brother got more money, but that was before I knew better. I can afford the same thing for her now, but it would be tighter now, and I don't want the same thing to happen, especially if it would be for a foreign degree. I suspect the same could happen to her since her brother was typically the brighter one

while she just pushed herself the last year of the school. You guys, this guy's daughter got into Cambridge University, and her dad is so sexist that he thinks that she's the dumb one. He has a son who failed all his classes and a daughter who got into Cambridge and he's like, man, my daughter is just such a dummy dumb dumb. If only she had a penis, then she might actually be smart. OP, I can feel the sexism radiating out of this post.

Oh my God, OP. Man, I can't even imagine how bitter I would be if I lost the opportunity to go to Cambridge just because my dad is a sexist douchebag. What even, how does Cambridge rank? World University Rankings by Computer Science. It's got to be top 10 in the world I'd bet you. Times higher education listed as... Number 6 of all the universities on planet earth the sixth best university for computer science. Sorry sweetie, you're just too much of a dummy dumb dumb to go to that college.

If a man can't do it, how could you possibly expect to? Man, and calling your daughter the dumber one, even on an anonymous post, if I believe that my daughter was dumb, which I don't, I actually believe my daughter is bright because I'm a proud parent. Batman couldn't beat that fact out of me, man. Oh, I'm OP and my daughter is a big dummy dumb dumb. Everyone, look at how stupid my daughter is. OP, please release your sexism, support your daughter, and stop making your daughter pay for your son's mistakes.

I'm giving you four out of five bad guys. And this post is so weird. How are you calling Cambridge a foreign degree? Like that's the relevant fact. Bro, it's Cambridge. This is a known school across the entire planet for how famous and prestigious it is. And you're like some foreign university in the UK,

whatever that is. Tea and Crumpet University, I suppose. I'm gonna guess that your daughter mostly takes after her mother, just a guess. You're flying to meet with a new supplier to keep your business growing. And with the business platinum card from American Express, you can earn $820 in new value and more, which includes a $200 travel credit toward your flight. Now, boarding business class. American Express, don't do business without it.

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So you could take your winnings to play live blackjack on the same points vet app. The platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do. Bed on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. Am I the bad guy for telling my husband that he ruined my birthday again? Today is my 28th birthday and I'm really into birthdays and holidays and I believe in celebrating them to the max, and this is well known to everyone. I'm also the planner and the giver, and not only my family, but my extended family as well. So I'm the one who plans birthdays, get together as gifts, travel, etc. I'm also a stay at home mom due to having a son with complex medical and behavioral

needs. I've been with him 24-7 for the last week because it's school break and he's extremely clingy and has behavioral problems due to mental illnesses. I also had an upper respiratory cold during this time, sore throat, fever, cough, runny nose, earache, etc. But I kept up with my mom duties nonetheless. My husband's birthday was last month and as, I planned something for him. I planned a weekend in a town a couple of hours away for us and our kids. For my birthday, I told my husband that I just want help with the kids, the house cleaned, a nap, and him to either cook supper or take me out.

Maybe a home made gift from the kids and a cake. Yesterday, my husband starts complaining of a sore throat. I check his throat and it looks fine. No fever or other symptoms. He stays up all night playing video games. This morning, he says he's sick but has no visible symptoms. No fever, no cough, no runny nose, he doesn't sound like someone with a cold, he says his throat hurts, but he spent an hour on Xbox Live talking just fine. He naps all day because he says he's sick. I think it's because he stayed up until 4am playing video games.

Meanwhile I make my own cake, take care of the kids as usual and do my usual chores. He didn't even tell me happy birthday. Ooh, Ouch! Ooh, that one stings, Opie! Oof! Finally, I decided to take the cake that I made with the kids to my parents' house to have supper there so I didn't have to cook. I'm pretty crabby at this point, and I don't say a word before we leave. He calls and asks why we left. I tell him because he ruined my birthday yet again and I'm trying to salvage it at least a little and hung up.

He called back and said that I was overreacting. He says that he's sick and I'm an adult and birthdays aren't a big deal anymore after 21. So am I the bad guy for wanting one day to be the receiver instead of the giver to celebrate myself? Yeah, okay, I'm going to agree with this top post from negative water slide. Not the bad guy, he sounds inconsiderate and like he doesn't even like you. Yeah, if my wife didn't even so much wish me happy birthday, it would completely ruin

my birthday. Otterly and completely, the entire day ruined. I would literally be sad for a week about that. And the request that you made for your husband for your birthday party, let me see, help with the kids, the house cleaned a nap and him to either cook supper or take me out. That's not even really like above and beyond. That's pretty normal just expectation. That's kind of like bare minimum. Yeah, cleaning the whole house is a bit much. So like that might be extra. But helping with the kids, that's expected as a father. Letting your partner take a nap when they're sick, that's expected of a partner. Him cooking supper or taking you out, especially

if you're sick, that's also expected of a partner. Let alone it being your birthday. So, not only did he fail to meet the minimum requirements for your birthday, but he also failed to meet the minimum requirements of just being a caring husband and father for that matter. Apparently he has enough time to play video games for like 8 hours straight, but he doesn't have time to play with his own kids or to help them bake a cake. Why are you with this guy, OP? For real, like straight up. What value does he add to your life?

Just the paycheck so he can be a stay at home mom. That's it. He's just a detached Unloving uncaring sugar daddy. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys. I'm giving your husband 3.5 out of five bad guys Am I the bad guy for leaving my husband alone with the kids for two days? I'm a 24 year old woman and I have two sets of twins The first set is five year old boys and the second set is three year old girls. My husband, who's 27, always complains that the house isn't up to his standards and that it's a mess or that I sometimes put on frozen meals instead of cooking a fresh dinner. It's super irritating because I'm expected to do everything just because I work from home

and he thinks that I have it easier than his job, which is physical labor. I can never do anything because when he has time off, all he wants to do is sleep and says he needs it because he's exhausted from work or he wants to use his break to hang with his friends. So basically, all the chores are usually thrown on me and I've had enough of it. Everything came to a head when my friends called me to hang out. When I asked my husband to watch the kid so I could go out, he went into this rant

about how he's tired and he's been working all week, and the least I could do is watch the kid so that he could get some rest because I'm home all day with easy work. So I decided after I put the kids to sleep that night to leave a note saying that I'd be out with the girls that night, which ended up turning into a full weekend out with the girls.

When morning came, he was calling and texting me non-stop. And when I answered, he was yelling at me and cursing me out. When my friends overheard the conversation, they were shocked and hung up the phone for me and told me to mute it. Before that moment, I didn't have plans to spend the night at my friends' place, but when my friends overheard how my husband spoke to me, they convinced me to stay, and even told me they would take me out to eat and plan a whole day for me. When I got back, the house was a complete and utter mess, like piles of dishes, garbage

all over the place. The floors were sticky, there was pee all over the toilet, and the place just smelled awful. My husband, of course, was angry, and had a suitcase already packed. He barely said two words to me, and just left and texted me, saying that it'll be staying at his mom's.

Now, I feel horrible, because clearly, he couldn't handle taking care of the kids for this long by himself. And I feel like a butthole because I don't want this to ruin my marriage. Opie. What marriage? I'm sorry, I don't mean to be too harsh or rude to you here, but for real, what marriage? What are you- what are you married to?

Where's the husband in this? Where's the father in this? All I'm seeing is a- he's a roommate. He's literally a roommate. He leaves, goes to work, comes home, and then naps, and does nothing all day. You do all the chores, you do all the childcare, and you get no time for yourself. So like, you don't want to ruin the marriage, what marriage are we talking about? How exactly would your life be any different if you were single?

You'd still have to do all the chores yourself. You'd still be doing all the childcare yourself. The big difference in this case is that you could find yourself a man who's actually a man and not a little boy pretending to be a man. I almost honestly got a little like choked up when I found okay. When your husband was cursing you out and your friends responded by telling you to stay with them,

giving you a safe space and planning a whole day just for you. That is so sweet and supportive and caring. Giving you the one thing that your husband should have been giving you, showing you through their actions, what true love and companionship really means. I don't like to recommend this because I feel like I'm interfering with people's lives,

but honestly, OP, dump them. Dump them. You're basically a single mom already. Realistically, you're a single mom. I feel like I'm interfering with people's lives, but honestly, OP, dump them. Dump them. You're basically a single mom already. Realistically, you're a single mom. You're just also supporting a loser while you're at it. OP, you and your friends get zero out of five bad guys. Your friends are awesome.

Your husband, however, what's a fair score here? I think honestly, I'm gonna give this guy 4.5 out of five bad guys, because OP has two sets of twins ages 3 and 5. And the way this story reads, it sounds like this guy has literally never put in a single day of labor towards these two kids. Ever. He doesn't know how to do the dishes, he leaves garbage around. Typically, okay, this is kind of like a conservative, old, faster relationship, where the woman stays home, even though she works, and she also does all the childcare and the guy does physical labor.

So you kind of expect in one of those more like traditional gender role relationships that the guy would take out the trash. But he doesn't even do that. So literally what does he do? O.P. what does he do? So yeah, 4.5 out of five bad guys for the husband. Girl, dump them.

Am I the bad guy for buying lower grade steaks when my in-laws visit and serving my mom and dad wag you? My wife and I live far away from both sets of our parents. We visit them a couple of times a year and they visit us about the same. My mom and dad love food. They'll buy pounds of garlic and leave it in a rice maker for a month to make black

garlic. They plan their vacations around amazing restaurants. My in-laws are lovely people, but boiling chicken drumsticks is fancy for them, and they refuse to eat steak that isn't well done. I discovered this the first time that I went to their home for dinner. I wasn't even asked how I liked my steak. Everyone got a well done steak. It took me years to convince my wife to try a medium rare steak. Now she loves them. I bought some beautiful prime steak for them when they came over

when we moved in together. I made theirs medium well and I died a little inside. Her dad took it back to the grill and destroyed them, so now I buy a select grade meat for them. I've been buying some excellent quality wagyu for when my parents visit. Not every single time, maybe once a year. My wife says that I'm being a bad guy for not treating both families the same. I don't think that I should waste money on great food for them when I know how they'll treat it. This feels kind of like a no bad guy here situation to me because obviously buying like a hundred dollar steak and then charring it to a crisp is stupid.

That's just silly. I do kind of understand where your wife is coming from though. So if you're not going to spend the money on steak, spend the money on something else you're in laws like, like, you laws like alcohol or a trip out on the town or flowers. That way you can still spend the same amount of money on both sets of parents to be fair, but you won't be wasting wagyu beef by making it well done. So I'm giving everyone zero out of five bad guys across the board.

This is a very easily fixable problem. That was our slash of my D.A. and you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.