rSlash - r/AITA Is My Boyfriend's Dad is a Fart-Sniffer?

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

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Welcome to our slash, Am I the bad guy? Where I think we have a butt sniffer on our hands. Am I the bad guy for lighting a match at night and scaring my boyfriend's dad so badly that he woke up the whole house? My boyfriend and I are staying at his parents house. It's been going really well, but his dad is very particular. He has moments every day where he corrects or instructs the other people in the house on how he wants us to behave. I don't really have a problem with it, but he has a few rules that do make me a little uncomfortable. I don't need to get into why, but I always get diarrhea here.

I've been visiting them a few times a year for almost a decade, and it just is what it is. My boyfriend and I used to stay in a room downstairs with the bathroom and it wasn't a problem, but his brother moved back home and now we don't have our own bathroom. I don't want to advertise the fact that I have diarrhea to everyone in the house and I'm not allowed to use the bathroom fan at night, so I usually use poo-poree or just a drop. Hold on, what is just a drop? I've never heard of this before. Okay, it's like a little plant extract that you drop into the toilet, and it creates like a surface on the water that traps odors. Okay, so it's just like odor-reducing

thing I got you. When we got home the last time, my boyfriend got a text from his dad asking him to ask me to stop using strong essential oils as it was making him feel sick. I was so embarrassed and I honestly have been kind of dreading coming here again. I was talking to my mom about this and she suggested that I bring some paper matches because that's what she used to do. I got some paper matches and they actually worked pretty well. Tonight I woke up from my sleep because I had diarrhea. I lit a match when I was done, ran it underwater and folded it up into some aluminum before throwing it in the garbage.

I fell back asleep and I was woken up a while later by a big commotion. My boyfriend's dad smelled burning and thought that house was on fire so he woke everyone up in a panic and searched the house to see what was burning. I didn't immediately equate a match with a house fire, and I didn't smell anything when I woke up, so I didn't bring up that I had lit a match.

It wasn't even clicking for me that the match was what he smelled until my boyfriend asked me if I smelled anything when I got up earlier to use the bathroom. Long story short, I just got shoot out by his dad for lighting matches at night or lighting matches in general as a guest in their home. And even his mom was upset because I could have started a fire and nobody would have known. I apologized and everyone went back to bed, but my boyfriend lectured me for like 15 minutes about embarrassing him and playing dumb about not knowing what his dad smelled and not using common sense, and then he told me to go to sleep and try not to wake everyone up again.

I'm honestly so pissed! My boyfriend is sleeping soundly, and I'm just laying here getting matter and matter. I want to wake him up so we can leave because I feel so uncomfortable. I really don't want to face everyone in the morning. I don't feel like I did anything wrong, but I don't know if I'm thinking rationally because I'm tired and I can't fall back asleep. What do you think? Am I the bad guy? Down in the comments, I'm going to read this top post from Imathro. I think you get diarrhea at these people's homes because it's an incredibly stressful environment where you're walking on eggshells the entire time to tip

to around his extremely volatile and aggressive father. I mean, Jesus Christ, have these people never owned a candle? Oh, and then OP responds and says, the stress probably doesn't help, but I get sick there because of the food. They do things like leave meat out on the counter all day to thaw and then don't put all the leftovers in the fridge. And if they do, it's not done quickly enough. And there's just a lot of cross contamination and stuff with raw meat. None of them get sick.

I guess because they're used to it. So it's not a priority for them to change the way they do things. My boyfriend has tried suggesting different food safety things to them, but they aren't interested. I always try to be polite when I'm a guest in someone's home, and it's important to me to make my boyfriend happy. But I'm just so over this trip, and I want to go home. Okay, so let me just say that I'm on your side OP. The father of this family is completely overbearing.

Clearly, you're embarrassed about your odor. Like diarrhea or not diarrhea. If someone wants to like mask their odor because they're embarrassed, I think that's completely reasonable. But like, what are you supposed to do? You can't open a window, you can't turn on a fan, you can't use overpowering essential oils.

So like, what are you supposed to do, man? Like, I get that it's his house. So he gets to decide what goes on in his house. But if your guest is embarrassed about odor, you have to make some kind of accommodation. And then the whole family chewing you out for like 15 minutes and treating you like a child, it's just completely over the top.

So I'm giving the dad the mom, and your boyfriend 2 out of 5 bad guys. Am I the bad guy for canceling the birthday party I planned to throw for my wife after what she did? I'm a 36 year old man and I remarried after my late wife passed away. I have a son who's 15. My current wife and I have been together for two years. She generally has a good relationship with my son, although they tend to have some disagreements from time to time. My son has a background in woodworking. He used to help his grandfather with his woodworking and learned how to make handmade wooden items

and use them as gifts. I planned a dinner party for my wife's birthday at a prestigious restaurant. The day before the party, she was cleaning my son's room and saw what he got her for her birthday and that it was a wooden tree with mine, her, and his name on it. She talked with him and told him that while she thought it was a sweet gift, she asked him that he don't bring it to the restaurant and give it to her there. Why? No idea. When my son told me this, I just had to call her out on it. She flat out said that she thought the gift looked ridiculous and she didn't want it to be seen in that prestigious

restaurant and in front of her guests. I lost it on her and told her that she should be ashamed of herself for saying this when my son was being sincere and thoughtful. She swore that she wasn't ashamed or embarrassed by his work and even said that she would take the gift, but she simply didn't want it to be seen there. I told her not to worry about it since I decided to cancel the whole thing. She went off on me calling me unreasonable for outright canceling her birthday over such a trivial thing. I refused to keep arguing, but she threw a fit about how I ruined her birthday and made

her lose respect for me and my promises. My son kept the gift since she left the house two days ago, and her mom's been chewing me out for my decision and calling me a bad guy for treating her daughter like this. It could be that it wasn't that big of a deal and I overreacted, but my son was feeling hurt by her request. Opie, if someone belittled the sincere and heartfelt effort of my child to give them a very thoughtful gift, I wouldn't wanna take them to a birthday party either.

I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys. I'm giving your wife two out of five bad guys. What she did was nasty. Am I the bad guy for kicking my son's girlfriend out of our house? My husband is 58 and I'm a 56 year old woman. My son is 24 and recently we met my son's girlfriend for the first time. He's been crazy about her.

Apparently, they've been dating for a year before he decided to have her meet us officially. What he's told us about her all seems great. She just got her degree, she was enjoying her job, she's family oriented, etc. I'm honestly just glad that he's happy with her. My husband and I don't think that he's ever been this into someone before, so I feel pretty bad about what I did. Last weekend he brought her over for dinner. By now, we've been anticipating meeting her with how much our son has been gushing about her, how perfect she is that she's the one in his words.

They ring the doorbell, we open the door, and she looks exactly like her pictures, which is a great start. My son is grinning ear to ear, another great start. We invite them in, she accepts my hug and a firm handshake from my husband, and then she opens her mouth. What?

I'm the one your son puts his penis in. To be frank, I was appalled. Both he and my son are jokesters, and as annoying as it can be, I love it. But this was just too much for me. Maybe I'm reserved, but of all the things she could have shared about my son, she told us that. One look at my face, and my husband knew how much I disapproved. Maybe I let my expectations get too high, and it's unfair to have those expectations, but I reiterate, of all the things to say to her boyfriend's parents, whom she'd never

met, she chose that. My son was amused at first, but when he noticed my reaction, his face dropped. I felt like he'd sold me the full package. Sounds like he was giving her the full package. I felt like he'd sold me the full package. Everything he'd always been looking for in a girlfriend. I was too disturbed by the visual it put in my head, and it translated into anger. I told her to get out and I wanted to say more about how gross it made me feel but fortunately I left it at that. My son didn't want to go, insisting I give her another chance, but I was too fed up and uncomfortable

by this point. Even my husband, who's enjoyed his fair share of raunchy jokes, wouldn't let up. They left, and I immediately felt guilty. This was something my son had really looked forward to, and I feel like I took that away over a dumb joke. I tried calling to apologize, but he hasn't responded. My husband thinks that she's the one who should apologize. I'm considering giving her another chance, but before I do, was I the bad guy? Okay, I've read some pretty wild stories. I'm used to curve balls, but I was NOT expecting that. I don't know what I was expecting, but that was probably the last thing on the list. Alright, okay, I'm a jokester myself. I've made lots of really inappropriate and bad jokes,

and when it happens, you immediately own up an apologize, because, you know, hey, sometimes you just swing and you miss. So the fact that she hasn't called to apologize to you is pretty bad. I was kind of thinking, like, maybe she's just super nervous. The sun's 24, so it's probably the case that this girlfriend is a little bit younger, so like, probably 20 to 22. We can expect her to have a certain degree of, like, nerves and nerves and jitteriness, and so maybe this just fell out of her mouth because she was just super, super nervous, kind of giving her the benefit of the doubt here. But if that's the case, then you apologize after, right? Or is it the case of this girl just like stands by what she said? Like, yes, that was the right thing to say, and I refuse

to apologize. Huh? I'm giving the girlfriend two out of five bad guys. That was extremely inappropriate. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys. I could understand if some people say that you overreacted here. However, this is your home. This is your family. And the way that she introduced herself with this raunchy joke set a really bad precedent. So if you don't want to invite her into your home, then I feel like that's appropriate. Opie, whatever the case, please post a follow-up. I'm dying to know what was in this girl's head. I'm gonna guess it's just nerves.

And now she's not reaching out to you to apologize because she's just mortified by her behavior and she's super embarrassed. But, please let us know, Opie, I'm dying to know what happens here. Am I the bad guy for telling my brother to get over it after I let my ex into his house so he could see our six son? I don't want to go into too much detail, but I'm divorcing my ex. It's been messy and I've been living with my brother as he helped me leave him. My brother used to be friends with my ex, so the divorce has been rough for him too.

And I think he's been focusing on his anger so he doesn't have to accept the fact that my ex hurt him too. My son was sick and he kept asking for his dad, so I asked my ex to come and see him. My brother was out when he came over, but my sister-in-law was home, and she kept telling me that he wouldn't like it when he found out. I think she called him because he came home early and he knew before he even saw my ex. He told my ex to get out of his house and to stay away from me and forget that he had

a son. Wow. My ex refused, but I made him go as their arguing was upsetting my son. Once he left and my son had calmed down, my brother turned his anger on me. He thinks that I'm insane for asking my ex to come and see our son as he thinks I need to stay away from him until our divorce is finalized.

He told me that he didn't want him in his house again and he wouldn't budge, but I reminded him that he's still my son's father. I was frustrated, so I told him he needed to get over it because I did what was best for my son in the moment. Am I the bad guy? Okay, right off the bat, I know we're missing something here because the brother's anger just doesn't match

what's going on in this story. And Opie said I don't wanna go into too much detail about why you're divorcing your ex. I feel like that might be relevant because maybe that explains why the brother's angry, like as it stands, we can't evaluate this because we don't know if the brother is grossly overreacting and he has crazy anger issues or if there's a good reason for why he's acting this angry and maybe he's been banned from coming into the house or maybe the husband

is abusive. Oh, one of the comments saying, By the way, your brother is reacting, it sounds like your ex was a violent man and you're behaving like a victim does. I think you should listen to your brother. That's the top comment from primary criticism, and yeah, that's kind of the same vibe I was getting. We can't really back it up with evidence because there's no evidence of abuse in this story, but something's missing. OP is an unreliable narrator, and she's not giving us the full story, for sure. The second highest post thinks abuse. The third highest post thinks abuse. The fourth highest post just says his house is rules, which is true. The fifth highest post says abuse.

The sixth says abuse. Yeah, okay. Okay, everyone thinks it's abuse. That's also where I'm leaning too. It's the only thing that explains your brother's anger. Am I the bad guy for refusing to attend my brother's wedding because of the dress code? My brother is getting married in a few months

and his future wife recently asked me to be a part of her bridal party. I was thrilled and excited to be included, but then she informed me that the dress code for the bridal party was gender specific, with women expected to wear dresses and men expected to wear suits. As someone who identifies as non-binary and is more masculine presenting, I'm uncomfortable with conforming to a gender binary that doesn't accurately represent me. I brought this up with my brother and his fiance, but they insisted that they wanted all their guests to adhere to the

dress code, regardless of how it made them feel. I ultimately decided that I didn't want to attend the wedding, as I didn't feel comfortable being pressured to conform to a gender binary that doesn't accurately represent me. My brother and his fiance are now upset with me, accusing me of being difficult and not willing to compromise. After a fight with him, I found out they went behind my back and involved my mom. She called me yesterday and told me that I can put aside my identity for one day to make the day special for my little brother.

I now feel bad, and I didn't realize something as small as the clothes I feel comfortable wearing would cause a rift within my family. So am I the bad guy for refusing to go to the wedding? That was our slash of my D.A. And if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.