rSlash - r/AITA Karen Wants Me To Get a Tattoo of Her

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:20 on the same points vet app. The platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do. Bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. Welcome to R-Slashe. Am I the bad guy where a Karen demands that someone gets a tattoo of her face on their body? Am I the bad guy for calling my sister cruel for her tattoo idea?
Starting point is 00:00:43 My sister is 28. I'm a 26 year old man. My sister, Nina, has always had a strange relationship with our parents, especially my mom. I'm clearly not privy to the reasons because things are fine with me and my parents. When Nina went to college, she met her creative writing professor as a freshman, and they got close immediately. They would do a lot together and worked closely on a few different writing projects. Nina never specifically said this, but it was obvious to anyone who saw them interact that they had a substitute mother-daughter type relationship, which hurt my mom a lot
Starting point is 00:01:17 to see. I always thought that she'd grow out of it, or that the professor would move on, but 10 years later, they're still very close. About a month ago, the professor died unexpectedly, and it devastated Nina. She was really depressed over the holidays, which of course was all in front of my mom, and was a difficult reminder that Nina loved the professor as a mother way more than she ever loved my mom as a mother. She still talks to my parents and they don't fight her anything, but Nina is very distant and doesn't tell them anything about her life beyond the bare minimum. My mom tried to comfort Nina, but Nina was doing
Starting point is 00:01:55 her distant thing and didn't want comfort. Something unfortunate that happened to Nina is that when she got the call that the professor died, she was brewing tea. And in the shock of the news, she spilled boiling water on her arm, which burned her kind of badly on her wrist. I think the burn was like on the borderline of second and third degree, and definitely still looked pretty rough during the holidays. Nina said that it was especially hard, because in addition to the physical pain, every time she looks at it, she's reminded of the moment she found out the professor died, which I totally get. I was on FaceTime with Nina, and she said that she talked to her tattoo artist friend, who
Starting point is 00:02:35 said the burn should be able to heal well enough to get a tattoo over it. Nina then excitedly told me about her idea, which is a type of flower that the professor gave her a bouquet for her undergrad graduation. My mom was so embarrassed that day because she did not get Nina flowers, but the professor did. And Nina was parading them around so happily, and it was a reminder of their connection. I guess Nina and the professor exchanged these flowers for every special occasion like birthdays, etc.
Starting point is 00:03:05 So now she wants to get a decent sized tattoo in a highly visible spot of something that will remind everyone of the professor. I told Nina that this seems really cruel to my mom, who already feels cast aside like she's an exile from Nina. And that's without the constant permanent reminder. Nina kind of scoffed and said, I can't believe you think you have the right to tell me not to do this. Then she called me an f***ing hung up and is still not talking to me except for a very brief text saying congrats
Starting point is 00:03:37 for a promotion I just got. My parents aren't commenting. My dad said that I should have just kept quiet even though he agrees, and my mom made no comment, but seemed grateful that I stood up for her. I feel like I was just being protective of my mom, but am I the bad guy? Okay, I don't know exactly what's going on in this post, but I do know that there is a ton of information that OP isn't adding. Like something's not adding up here perfectly. Something's something's a mess here.
Starting point is 00:04:07 OP, you're 26 and your sister is 28 and you said you're not privy to why they don't like each other. You don't know why. What, huh? I don't buy it. There is no way. There's no way. So presumably like when you were 12 and your sister was 14
Starting point is 00:04:23 and you were growing up in the same house together, you have no clue, you have no idea why they don't like each other, no idea whatsoever. So if she went to college when she was 18, that means when she was 17, O.P. was 15, that is definitely old enough to see the entire family dynamic. Plus you're like adults now and you seem to have a relationship with her and you've never once talked about it, you have no idea why they don't like each other. I don't buy it. There's no way, there's no way you don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:49 I think what's actually going on here, Zopie does know why they don't like each other, but he's choosing not to tell us. Probably more than likely is because if he does tell us, it'll make his mom look like a real, a B word to put it simply. Like the fact that your sister craves a mother figure, you know, it's not like she's some fiercely independent person
Starting point is 00:05:09 who doesn't want love in her life. Clearly she wants love, she wants a mother figure, but she didn't get it from your mom probably because your mom wasn't providing that mother figure to her. And then she's grieving and she has a double tragedy that the burn and losing a loved one. And your response is to tell her what to do with her own body
Starting point is 00:05:28 Yo, what's go I gotta go to the comments. What are people saying about this? This is this is fishy. This is super fishy Uh-huh Resolute me used down in the comments. I think he's on to something What you described is the golden child and the scapegoat child. You being the Golden Child. Nina didn't get what she needed from her own mother and was incredibly fortunate that another stepped in and took on that role. Take your blinders off and see. Ask your sister if she felt second best growing up and be open and silent when and to what
Starting point is 00:06:01 she tells you. Yes, you're the bad guy. Yeah, that would definitely explain a lot because golden childs tend to have blinders, essentially. It's what this guy's saying. They just either choose not to see what's really going on, or they're just so brainwashed that they can't physically see the abuse happening
Starting point is 00:06:20 in front of them because their entire life they grew up thinking that they did no wrong and the skate quote only did wrong. I don't think there's quite enough information in this post to say that this is a golden child slash scapegoat situation, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. OP, I'm giving you, gosh, I'm giving you 1.5 out of 5 buttholes for being an unsupportive and very cold and uncaring brother, but I suspect it's actually a few points higher because I think you just don't care about your sister deep down. Also, I'm giving your mom, I'll say one out of five bad guy because
Starting point is 00:06:56 she wasn't very interested in having a relationship with her daughter and she forgot the flowers, so she doesn't seem like a really like involved mom, but my suspicion is that that number is actually way, way higher, like in the 4-5 range. I just, I can't back it up with the story. I don't have enough evidence. I would love to hear Nina's side of the story because I guarantee you it is way different. Am I the bad guy for pulling my daughter from a water park trip because her teacher made her stay with a kid that she doesn't like? My daughter, Brynn, is 9 years old. She's going on a trip to a nearby water park with her class next week. She loves water and has been talking about it for months, so I was a bit thrown off when
Starting point is 00:07:36 she came home crying a few days ago and told me that she didn't want to go. I asked her why and she wouldn't tell me because she thought that I would think that she's a bad person. When I finally coaxed it out of her, she said that her teacher, Mrs. N, has forced her to be the buddy of her classmate, Ben, for the entirety of the trip. She has to ride the bus with Ben to and from the trip, eat lunch with him, and go on all the rides with him instead of spending time with her friends. She then said that nobody likes Ben because he winds whenever they have to do work,
Starting point is 00:08:08 and picks his nose, and wipes boogers everywhere. I was horrified, not only because Mrs. Anne had made Ben do such a thing, but also because she had made her believe that she was a bad person for not wanting to. Unfortunately, this wasn't my first experience with Mrs. N because she has frequently used my soft spoken, intelligent older daughter as a behavior buffer for the naughty boys. Until I threaten to report her to the superintendent. It's clear to me that Mrs. N is still too comfortable with enforcing archaic gender roles on her kids and forcing girls to do unpaid emotional labor for the sake of the boys.
Starting point is 00:08:47 I immediately sent Mrs. Annen email condemning her actions. She sent me back an email with a bunch of BS that basically ended with, if Bren goes on this trip, she has to be Ben's buddy. Fine, I told her Bren wouldn't be attending then. I immediately booked VIP tickets the same day her class was going so she could still go to the park and see her friends. What happened next? I was not expecting. Bryn is quite popular so I've gotten to know a lot of the moms in her class. When I let them know what Mrs. N. did, some of them were so horrified that they also pulled their kids out of the trip.
Starting point is 00:09:23 In total, 8 out of the 20 kids are either not going or going with us. Today, I got an email from Mrs. In saying that because almost half the class isn't going, they either have to raise the cost for the other students or not go at all. She practically begged me to let Bryn go and tell all the other parents to let their kids go too,
Starting point is 00:09:44 promising that she wouldn't make Bryn do and tell all the other parents to let their kids go too, promising that she wouldn't make Bryn do anything she didn't want to do. I told her that she should have thought about that before she tried to make my daughter do her job. My husband said that I was being a bit petty and that Mrs. Inn clearly feels bad about what she did, and I should let Bryn go because I've already gotten my way. He asked me if I really wanted to deprive children of what they've been waiting for all year. The thing is, if this wasn't Mrs. Inn's first offense, I probably would have agreed,
Starting point is 00:10:13 but she has a pattern of this type of behavior, and hopefully this will put a stop to it. Plus, if she has to explain this to her superiors, I have receipts. Is my husband right or am I justified? And then OP clarifies in an update that Brynn was the only student who was assigned a buddy. The rest of the students were free to do as they wanted. And then another update, I've taken the issue, including screenshots of the emails to the administrators. Several other parents also came forward with similar stories about Mrs. N using students,
Starting point is 00:10:47 particularly female students, to do her job. Mrs. N has been placed on temporary leave while they figure out a more permanent solution. Personally, after hearing things from other parents about her, I'd like to see her fired and blacklisted from ever teaching again, but I hope this at least scares her out of treating her students this way. Opie, as I was reading this story, I was kind of like imagining what would be the ideal solution. And the thought that crossed my mind is the appropriate thing to do would be to email Mrs. N. say, I'm not going to let my daughter come because at that point you can't really trust that she's going to like do what she says she's going to do. And then buy tickets and take
Starting point is 00:11:24 her there myself so that she could hang out with her friends and that's exactly what you did you beat me to the punch OP so as far as I'm concerned OP your response is perfect you get a grade A plus hundred percent extra credits personally I think Mrs. An can go pound sand because she got herself into the situation so she can find her way out of it. Big round of applause for you OP for sticking up for your daughter and doing what I consider to be the perfect thing in this situation. OP you get a rock solid 0 out of 5 bad guys.
Starting point is 00:11:56 I'm also giving your husband 0 out of 5 bad guys. Mrs. Inn gets let's say 3 out of five bad guys for enforcing sexist stereotypes on kids and expecting nine-year-old girls to do her job. I was like, maybe almost about to be on her side because I imagine that every single person had like a partner and it's just sort of luck of the draw that Brynn got paired with the booger kid, but the fact that Brynn was the only one who has a buddy, yeah OP, this is BS. Am I the bad guy for refusing to get a job and pay rent at my parents' house? I had my 18th birthday three days ago. On the day after my birthday, my stepdad told me that he wants me to start paying rent to live in his house. My stepdad is quite Christian and conservative.
Starting point is 00:12:43 I don't expect to live rent-free forever, but I know my stepdad is coming from a spiteful place. He and my mom have two kids in nine years of marriage. I'm not his kid, and it's clear that I'm a reminder that his wife was a non-vergine, divorced woman before him, so of course I'm treated like a guest, and my mom is allowing it because she thinks the sun shines out of his butt. He does not need my money to pay rent. Plus, I don't have much, and he wants a hundred pounds per month. I bet his kids won't be paying rent while they're in school. My A-level exams start mid-April and last up to July.
Starting point is 00:13:22 I'm doing STEM subjects, and I'm hoping to fulfill my offer for a medicine course at a good university. I'm aiming for really high grades, which will take a lot of studying, and if I have to get a job, it'll be difficult to maintain that level of studying that I need to do. So, I'm moving out in September. So, honestly, this just feels vindictive from my stepdad, and it's not like I'm lazy and unproductive around the house. I'm trying to save the money that I had left over from my last job, and paying my stepdad 800 pounds that he doesn't need feels spiteful. And it's like he's punishing me, and making my life harder for being born. So my aunt, my mom's sister, who is not fond of my stepdad, said that he's being ridiculous and told me to come live with her. She said that she has a free guest room so I can save up money for university.
Starting point is 00:14:13 This benefits me most, so I took her up on the offer. My mother keeps crying that I'm leaving already, so my stepdad is annoyed. We got into an argument where he said that he's just treating me like a tenant to prepare me for the real world. So I said, do tenants not have the right to leave, which annoyed him further. My stepdad says that I'm hurting my mother and taking resources away from my aunt because I'm too entitled to pay rent. But this is just what's best for me. I said I'd visit, am I the bad guy? Ha, man. This guy says he's treating you like a tenant, but then you're acting like a tenant. The rent's too high, so you're moving to a place that has better rent prices. Okay, what exactly is the problem here? Like, this is the real world. He's getting you to shop around
Starting point is 00:15:00 and compare prices and go for the best deal. We, what? We have a story that's not really about money. It's not really about OP sleeping on the sofa. It's about a douchebag trying to swing his big, ground and show that he's the one in control. OP, you get zero out of five bad guys. Your stepdad gets 1.5 out of five bad guys. I'm also giving your mom 1.5 out of five bad guys because as bad as your step
Starting point is 00:15:25 that is, she's the one who lets him treat you that way. That was our Slash of My The A, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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