rSlash - r/AITA My Family Wants My Daughter to Live with Her Bully

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:05 Unfit 1:38 Family trip 9:21 Babysitting 13:36 Fridge lock Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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a sports book worth a slam dunk and authorized gaming partner of the NBA that MGM dot com for terms and conditions must be 19 years of age or older to wager Ontario only please play responsibly if you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you please contact Connix Welcome to rslash am I the butthole where OP's sister wants to steal her baby. Am I the butthole for refusing to let my sister adopt my baby after she called me unfit for

being a single mom? I'm a 27 year old woman and I got pregnant unexpectedly after a short relationship. The father isn't involved, but I decided to keep the baby. My family's been supportive, except for my older sister, who's 34, who's been struggling with infertility for years. From the moment she found out that I was pregnant, she kept making comments like, it's not fair that you get to be a mom

when you're not even married. She even suggested multiple times that I let her and her husband adopt my babies since they're better equipped to raise a child. I shut that down every time. After my son was born, my sister came to visit and started crying when she held him. I felt bad until she said, He should have been mine.

You can't provide what he needs like we can. I told her she was way out of line and she exploded calling me selfish for hoarding the baby while she's destined to be childless. I asked her to leave, and now she's telling our family that I'm heartless and ruining her only chance at being a mom. Some relatives think that I should at least consider it since being a single mom is hard. Oh geez, all these relatives that think that you should at least consider it? Why don't they get themselves knocked up and give their baby to your sister? OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your deranged sister and everyone who supports her gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for refusing to go on a family trip unless they disinvite my nephew's friends? I'm a 43 year old guy and I'm really close to my family consisting of my siblings, their spouses, their kids and my parents. Every year we go on vacation this time of year for two weeks and come back right before Christmas. We're supposed to leave a week from today. I'm the divorced, single, sole parent of my daughter who's 15. She jokingly calls herself a nerd. She's weird, she's quirky, she likes anime and video games and Star Wars, the whole stereotypical nerd thing.

She does get bullied at school, but since leaving middle school and growing up a little more she started taking it better and mostly it stopped. This one boy, Jeff, who's 16, coincidentally is my nephew's best friend, and he's an absolute nightmare. I've talked to the school, we've had meetings with his parents, she's switched around classes extensively, but he still goes out of his way to pick on Emily. Emily's told me herself that she can deal with the name calling, but it doesn't stop there. He pulls her hair, rips her clothes, destroys her things, like this kid is a full-fledged nightmare. They even got into a fistfight that they were both suspended for last year because he stole her

backpack and put it into a full toilet in the boys bathroom. When I was discussing plans with my sister, she brought up that she needed to buy this bully, Jeff, a winter coat. When I realized that HE was going on the trip, I actually almost lost it. I told her, admittedly without thinking, that we were not going, and she began begging me, talking about tradition and family and blah blah blah. I said no, I'll eat my portion of the cost, but we are not going. After a longer conversation, I said that I'll go if they disinvite Jeff. We're well off, and we're lucky to have grown up in a financially stable home with parents who are attentive and supportive, and for our kids to have done the same.

Jeff was not that lucky. He lives in a really unstable environment, both financially and emotionally. This was apparent to me from the meetings with his parents, as his father didn't care and his mother blamed my daughter for being evil. And these were multiple separate meetings. This is awful and I'm sorry that Jeff or any child has to go through that, but I told my sister that my position still stands. The conversation went back and forth, mostly just her throwing excuses. Jeff has divorced parents, he grew up differently than us, maybe it's just a crush. Ew.

So on and so forth. When I reminded her of the fistfight, she said, I know, but Jeff needs this. She mentioned how he needed a break from his toxic home life, and I respect that. But why does that mean that I have to put MY daughter in a house with her tormentor for two weeks? I told her I wasn't changing my mind and went home. Now there's pure chaos. My family is split, my parents are begging me to go, and I'm getting texts near constantly.

My daughter told me she's not going if Jeff is going. She had a full blown panic attack over it. Maybe I'm looking for validation or maybe I really need a wake up call and I'm just being a selfish butthole. Yo, OP, your family is blowing my mind. If my daughter's best friend was bullying my daughter's cousin, then I would force my daughter to stop being friends with that person. I can't believe that your sister, your sister's son, your parents, everyone in this family is supporting this bully. Why is everyone so worried about Jeff's life but doesn't seem to care at all about Emily's life? Two days later, OP posted an update.

The night before last, my three siblings, their spouses, and my parents all gathered at my sister's house to talk this through. I very immaturally sort of walked in with a mild attitude. I knew I wasn't going to change my mind. I felt like this was a waste of time, but my daughter keeps expressing to me how badly she wants to go on this trip. So I went. It started off with my sister and my mom crying and just asking me to go,

but that got shut down really fast by pretty much everyone else. My sister expressed that she just felt so bad for Jeff. Again, he's lower class with a mother who treats him like a baby and a father that doesn't care. She mentioned that Jeff and Emily have been polite to each other in the presence of family and figured they were getting over their issues. Regardless, my sister was trying to convince me and my entire family to allow Jeff to come. I really do get it, and I'm a person who can

experience empathy, sometimes to a fault. But for the millionth time, my empathy towards Jeff and his situation does not overpower my need to protect my daughter. As her only parent, it is literally my duty to make sure she's safe, and this is not safe. Thanks to one comment or suggestion, I did say, my daughter doesn't feel safe around Jeff. To which my whining sister's husband replied, well, that settles it. The only adult who wanted Jeff to go was my sister. The only people who wanted me to compromise and go and ignore Jeff were my mother and sister-in-law. Everyone else was adamant that Jeff did not go. No one knew that he was invited,

and it wasn't until I sent in the group chat that I wouldn't be attending because of Jeff's presence that anyone, including my sister's husband, knew that Jeff was going. My father, who's actually a therapist, has been ridiculously supportive throughout this whole thing. He explained the reasonings for not wanting Jeff there, besides the obvious. Most notably, and as many others, including myself have pointed out, he started bringing up the subject of sexual assault. My nephew mentioned to him that Jeff does actually like Emily, and if his mindset is

as dysfunctional as we're led to believe, he's not currently capable of expressing that to Emily in a healthy way, which could lead to him attempting to sexually assault Emily. My sister tried the whole, I told you so about the crush thing, but I literally laughed at her. I really honestly don't care if he has a crush on my daughter, he's so awful to her. It was ultimately decided that Jeff was not going. Thanks to another comment I saw, I did tell my sister that she was doing a great thing by trying to help this boy, but her niece must come before him in this situation.

I brought up that Jeff might retaliate against Emily. Again, thanks to another commenter, because he was disinvited, so we did come up with a plan, sort of. My nephew had to tell Jeff at school the next day that Jeff was no longer invited because he didn't want him and Emily to get into a fight. I thought that was a dumb plan, but as long as the blame was off of Emily, I didn't care. So this leads us to last night.

Emily showed me a message from my nephew that just says, So Jeff backed out LMAO. And that's it. Get this, Jeff didn't know that Emily was going. My nephew went to tell Jeff what was up and he got as far as saying, Emily's gonna be there before Jeff backed out. My brother-in-law responded with laughing emojis. The fact that Emily didn't know that Jeff was coming and that Jeff didn't know that

Emily was coming makes me think that the sister was trying to literally set them up with some kind of romance scenario. A two-week vacation in some winter wonderland over Christmas break? Why, it'll be like a Hallmark movie! They'll be hanging ornaments and decorating gingerbread cookies and kissing under the mistletoe. Yo, this woman is deluded. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes.

It's honestly such a relief to see someone who truly advocates for their children. I'm giving your sister and Jeff three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to babysit after my sister demanded I stop bringing my boyfriend to family events? I'm a 20 year old man and I've been dating my boyfriend, Ryan, who's 22 for about a year. My sister Amanda, who's 28, has a 4 year old, Jack. After a family barbecue last month, Amanda pulled me aside and said,

Hey, just so you know, it might be better if you don't bring Ryan to the next few family gatherings. I asked her why, and she got all awkward, saying, Jack's been asking questions about you and Ryan, and I don't think he's old enough to understand all that yet. I told her we weren't exactly putting on a pride parade in her yard. We were literally just eating hot dogs and chatting with family. She replied, It's just confusing for him

You know how kids are I was mad but kept it together and said if Ryan isn't welcome Maybe I just won't come either. She sighed and said that I was being dramatic last week Amanda called me panicked because her babysitter canceled. I told her I couldn't because Ryan and I already had plans. She begged, saying that she was desperate. And I finally snapped. Why do you want me babysitting Jack? What if I accidentally expose him to my terrifying gay lifestyle? God forbid he sees me and Ryan together. Amanda blew up. She accused me of using Jack to make a point and said, this isn't about Ryan, it's about you being spiteful. You're punishing Jack because you're mad at me. She told my parents and that's when the real drama started. My mom called and said

that I was being selfish for letting a small disagreement ruin my relationship with Amanda. I told her it wasn't small and reminded her of Amanda's comment about confusing Jack. Mom brushed it off saying she's just doing what's best for her child. I said, what about what's best for me? Why do I have to hide part of my life to make her comfortable? My dad sided with me. He said that Amanda was being narrow-minded and told her, kids aren't confused by love, they're confused by acting like it's something to hide.

Amanda then put the drama into the family group chat. My uncle said, it's not homophobic to want to protect your kid from topics they're not ready for. Why push it? This set off my cousin who said, if Jack is old enough to understand that Amanda and Mike are married, then he's old enough to understand that OP has a boyfriend. She accused Amanda of being a hypocrite and called out my uncle too, saying, Let's not make this about your own outdated beliefs.

She also called Amanda a stuck-up B-word. And my uncle called my cousin a drama queen. And my aunt chimed in on the family chat saying, I don't agree with OP's lifestyle, but we should still support each other. My grandmother replied, Support doesn't mean tolerating disrespect. Amanda's husband, Mike, texted me saying, Look, I don't have an issue with you or Ryan, but this is getting out of hand.

Amanda's just trying to avoid awkward questions from Jack, not insult you. I told him, it's already insulting. Would she say the same thing if I were dating a woman? He left me on scene. Am I the butthole? The sister in this story is dead wrong. And it's not because of the gay thing and it's not because of the inherent hypocrisy of telling someone that they can't be around but then also expecting them to be around.

No, what makes this woman so stupid is that she's worried about uncomfortable questions with her son. You know, the other day I went to the bathroom and through a locked door I had to explain to my upset 3 year old daughter why she couldn't come in and watch me poop. Well sweetie, you have to understand, some things in life require privacy and people prefer to be alone when they poop generally speaking Also, there are certain body parts that are considered private and that means you don't want to let other people see them And I don't want you coming in here and watching me poop because you'll see my privates and it's just you know, listen, sweetie

I'll be out in a second. So just be patient and let daddy finish pooping, please Uncomfortable questions are just part of raising a child. Just answer the kids questions, you doofus! OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your overly dramatic sister 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for installing a lock on my fridge to stop my roommate from stress-eating my food? So I'm a 30-year-old woman and I live with my roommate,

Sarah, who's 29, who has this habit of eating everything in the fridge, whether it's hers or not. She always says it's because she's stressed and she swears she'll replace it, but my groceries vanish faster than a dating app after mentioning kids. The last straw was when she ate my emotional support tiramisu. For context, I'd spent hours making this tiramisu after a rough week at work. It was my therapy in a dessert. Sarah ate the whole thing without asking and left a note on the empty dish that said,

Sorry, PMS sucks. I owe you. That was it. I lost it. I ordered a lock for the fridge for my food and moved everything into it. Now Sarah's furious, saying I've ruined the vibe of the apartment and that I'm passive aggressive for locking her out of the shared fridge. She even tried to rally our other roommates against me. Spoiler, they also hide their snacks from her. Am I the butthole for locking up my food, or is Sarah just mad that she can't steal my serotonin anymore? If I made Tiramisu from scratch after a long week at work and someone ate the entire thing and left me just a dirty dish, then, you know, I'm not saying murder is fully justified, but we're getting pretty close here.

And for context, yes, OP clarifies that it was a dirty plate that she left in the sink. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Sarah is honestly cruisin' for a bruisin'. I'm giving her 2 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash am I the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.