rSlash - r/AITA Wife Wants to Abandon Our Kids

Episode Date: January 11, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:06 Kids 6:43 Husband over children 9:49 Gift 13:05 Ex best friend Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP's wife reveals that she's actually a psycho. Am I the butthole for telling my wife that she can leave because I'm not kicking my older kids out? I'm a 43 year old guy and I've been with my current wife, Amanda, who's 42 for the past six years. We have two daughters, Becca who's four and Eliza who's two together, while I have two kids from my previous marriage, Liam who's 17 and Sage who's 15. The divorce was less than amicable and since my ex-wife had more money and a better paying job, she was awarded primary custody despite me fighting it. For the last 8 years, I've had my older kids every other weekend and on Wednesdays. A few weeks ago, my older kids asked if they could

live with us full time due to issues with their stepdad. Liam especially had come to blows with him a few times, and even their mother thought that it would be for the best. I did talk to my wife about it, and I know that she wasn't happy as she feels uncomfortable around my older kids, although this is something she neglected to tell me until we had our first child together. Things since Liam and Sage moved in have been hard and as much as I'd love to get some family therapy, my wife is against it and we're on a waiting list. Before, when my kids would come over, my wife would take our daughters to her parents a lot to give us space even though I never asked for it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure being a stepparent is difficult, but my kids are really good kids. They have straight A's,

lots of friends, plays sports, and are incredibly respectful. I know I'm biased, but people go out of their way to tell me these things. So it's been terrible watching Amanda nitpick everything they do. Almost as if she's waiting for them to slip up so she can send them back to their moms. We'd already gotten to an argument over the holidays due to her trying to push them out of our traditions. So obviously, the house is tense and we've all been walking on eggshells. Then yesterday morning, when I was making us some breakfast, we heard a scream and Becca came into the kitchen crying saying that Sage hit her.

Amanda ran into the den where Liam and Sage were and started screaming at them to leave. She was obviously pissed, but Sage told her that she was sorry, that she had been done with the TV so she changed it to one of the girls' shows and then Becca got excited and bit her. Sage said that she didn't mean to slap her and she felt bad. I immediately calmed down because I think anyone has been there, but Amanda didn't believe her. Sage had a bite mark for god's sake. Things continued escalating and our girls were crying and Amanda screamed at both of

my older kids to leave. Sage told her she would go so my wife would calm down and that pissed Amanda off more. Liam and Sage left for her friends and ended up spending the night there. So for the past day, Amanda has been saying that I need to pack their stuff and send them back to my ex-wives permanently. I can't keep dealing with this BS. I told her this morning that it was an accident and she needed to let it go but she's refusing, even threatening to call the cops. She said that she could never be comfortable with her babies around Sage anymore and that she didn't feel safe. I laughed because one time, Amanda hit Becca for biting her. Amanda ended up taking the girls to

her moms and I told my kids to come back. Amanda has been texting me that she'll be back tomorrow and the kids need to be gone. I was ignoring her, but I finally said that this was their home and if she wasn't comfortable, she could pack up and leave. My parents came over and basically told me that I wasn't wrong, but I shouldn't have said that my wife should leave. I know there are some things that you can't take back, but at this point, I almost mean it. I would hate to deal with another divorce, but Amanda has been so terrible to my older

kids the past few days, I honestly feel like she's become a different person." Then, three days later, OP posted an update. First, OP explains how his kids are handling this, and basically, they're really sad and apologetic. Then, things get interesting. So, meanwhile, Amanda's been texting me non-stop. I haven't been responding unless it was about Eliza and Becca. She said some incredibly cruel things about me, my older two kids, and our relationship. Basically telling me that my kids just want us to break up just like their stepdad and I shouldn't let them win. She called them spoiled and entitled and smartasses who would ruin my life if I kept letting

them. I obviously ignored that, but between all this she texted me a list that she wrote of her non-negotiables for her to move back in. They were all pretty deranged, except one did say that she wanted cameras in the common areas, which I've already decided on and ordered. Here are the others. I have to cut Sage and Liam out of the will because they'll get money from their mom. This house is one that I bought with my ex-wife, and she wants to sell it and buy one to start fresh. I want to point out that when we got together I told

her I was definitely going to be staying in this house until my kids went to college since it's their childhood home. And now it's our girls' childhood home so I won't be leaving. My kids will need to find somewhere else to live when they turn 18. She doesn't want to have anything to do with my older kids, including family events, dinners and vacations. And yes, that would mean excluding my oldest from any family vacations, pictures, all of that. She doesn't want, quote, her as in our daughters around Sage or Liam.

She wants veto power over any extra time or money that I'd be spending on Sage and Liam to make sure that things stay fair. Probably the most deranged one is that she wants half of the child support that their mom is sending to put into a retirement account in her name. It was immature, but I just responded with haha and she sent some other BS text to piss me off. I talked to my father-in-law earlier today when he picked up and dropped off the younger girls from church.

He seemed annoyed with the whole situation and referred to it as Amanda's little tantrum. Originally, the girls were going to go home with them, but they threw a fit. Luckily, I'm off work this week to be with them. The sad thing is that Sage and Liam have been avoiding the younger girls, which is devastating for them, but I'm trying to work on explaining everything right now. Then four days later OP posts another update just to say that he's talking to his lawyer and all of a sudden Amanda is sucking up over the phone again. OP there's basically no coming back from this.

Your wife has finally revealed her true colors. Somehow she was able to keep it all under wraps for like, I don't even know, six years I think you said that you were together? And after two kids, now she takes off the mask which is way too late. So I'm sorry to say this OP, but you got another rocky divorce on the horizon. You get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Amanda three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my mom that she'll regret picking her husband over her children?

I'm a 23 year old woman and my husband is 22. We moved in with my mom over the summer to help my mom with her bills and to help take care of my three younger siblings. The main reason for this move was because I didn't want my mom to get back with her boyfriend that she's been dating on and off for the past 7-8 years. Not long after we moved in, she starts talking to him again after repeatedly telling me that she's never going to get back together with him. She then goes on to marry him and since then has taken on this mentality that she's his

wife and has responsibilities towards him, so she has to be with him 24-7. Which in turn means that me and my siblings see her less because he doesn't live with us. Ever since she got married, she goes directly to him after work and the only time my siblings see her is in the morning when she takes them to school. She's not even home during the weekends. Recently, this past weekend, me and her ended up arguing over text because my siblings missed their mom and wanted to see her. She then chooses, instead of coming to see her kids, to call them and tell them that she's too busy to see them.

And that when she was there, all they did was play video games. But now that she's with her husband, they suddenly miss her and want to spend time with her. This made my sibling sad, which naturally made me step in and tell her off. I told her she can't be serious right now, and that obviously her children are going to miss her. That even though they might have a roof over their heads and food, that doesn't mean they don't still need their mother's presence more than just a few minutes in the morning

when they're going to school. I told her she can't seriously be picking a man that has literally shown he doesn't care about her over her children who do love her. She responded by telling me the same thing she told my siblings. That when she was with us, my siblings didn't appreciate her and that they just spent their time playing video games. I'm like, be for real, you're resenting them as if they're not literally children. Where's that energy for the man who's literally done nothing good for us? She's like, oh, so I'm a bad mom?

Okay, that's fine. You'll regret your words one day. She then hangs up on me and refuses my calls and texts my sister telling her she's not going to talk to me. So I texted her and told her the one who's going to regret her words is you and you'll be sorry for picking a man over your children. The day you learn to not put a man on a pedestal is the day you'll get your blessings. It's a serious mental problem to be so attached to a man. I said that I love her, but she's not okay by doing what she's doing. She's now no

longer talking to me and only contacts my siblings. OP, it straight up sounds like you got scammed. It sounds like your mom AL mom always planned to do this, but she needed free childcare so she scammed you into moving in and the second you did she's like okay bye and this is all your fault because you're all bad kids so I mean what can I do? I've got a husband now so see ya! OP, the best course of action is to report your mom to Child Protective Services. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mom 3.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for calling off my wedding after my fiance's surprise gift? So I'm a 30 year old woman and I've been engaged

to my fiance, Mark, who's 32 for about a year and we've been together for three years. I've always known Mark to be a bit unconventional. He's very creative and sometimes takes things a little too far in the name of surprise or excitement. Most of the time I love his adventurous spirit, but this time not so much. A couple of weeks ago, we had a small get together with some close friends to celebrate our upcoming wedding. Mark had mentioned that he had a surprise for me, which I figured would be something sweet like a heartfelt gift or maybe a romantic gesture. wedding. Mark had mentioned that he had a surprise for me, which I figured would be something sweet,

like a heartfelt gift or maybe a romantic gesture. Well, as the night went on, after a few drinks, Mark finally revealed his gift. He pulled out what looked like a box from a special jewelry store. My heart raced with excitement as I assumed that it was a lovely bracelet or a special memento for our wedding day. But when he opened the box, I was absolutely stunned. Inside was a key to a house that he supposedly bought for us. I was taken aback because I had no idea he was even looking for real estate. My first reaction was one of shock and confusion as I thought that it was a huge decision that we should have discussed together. As I processed the moment, I realized the house wasn't just any house. It was a fixer-upper on the outskirts of town. Now, I get that it can be a great investment,

but this particular house needed a ton of work. I'm talking major renovations and repairs, and I honestly had no desire to live there. Mark hadn't consulted me at all before making this purchase and I felt blindsided. Normally I'd be overjoyed about investing in our future together, but the fact that he had made such a significant commitment without me crushed me. I quietly took the key and told him we needed to talk about this. As we stepped outside, I expressed how hurt I felt that he had made such a big decision without discussing it with me first and that it felt like a violation of trust. Mark got defensive and insisted that this was a wonderful surprise, a way for us to start our

lives together. He said that I was missing the bigger picture and that I should be excited about our future. Honestly, I just felt overwhelmed and confused. I told him I didn't think that we were ready for this, and I think that we should focus on our wedding first. After a heated argument, I made the gut-wrenching decision to call off the wedding. Mark was devastated, and our friends were shocked. I had just ruined what was supposed to be a happy night,

and I felt horrible. Since then, Mark has been trying to reach out, saying he wishes we could talk it over. But I can't shake the feeling that he disrespected my feelings and my input in our relationship. I have been reflecting on whether I overreacted. Am I the butthole for calling up the wedding after his surprise gift? The whole point of a marriage is to live your life as partners. As equals, you consider each other's feelings, you communicate with each other. This gift is the opposite of that and I don't even know if it can be called a gift because once you get married,

his debt becomes your debt. So it's less of a gift and more of a responsibility. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your fiance 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for not supporting my ex-best friend after my brother put her in the hospital? My brother was a dick to me my whole life. He's two years older than me and blamed me for his dad leaving. We have different dads. We were raised by mom who was very much checked out and that made me an easy target. He wished me dead, called me a whore, he got other kids to bully me in school and every

chance he got he told me he wished that I wasn't his sister. I had a best friend throughout all that, Sammy. Her dad and siblings were also really great and they took me in as family because they knew that mine sucked. When we were 16, Sammy betrayed me in the worst way by starting to date my brother. I told her I'd never forgive her. She tried to make it seem like I was the bad guy and how dare I tell her who she could and couldn't date. She knew what my brother was like and still dated him. I had to pull away from her family because I couldn't be around her but I did tell her dad.

Sammy hated me for it because her dad did everything to get her away from my brother. I got a call a couple of weeks ago and it was Sammy's dad. My brother put Sammy in the hospital and her dad wanted to give me a heads up in case my brother tried to come for me. Sammy tried reaching out, but when I realized it was her calling, I shut it down. She kept trying and I ignored her and then blocked her. She had her sister reach out and while we were talking she took the phone off her sister and she told me she needed me. I told her to go to hell!

A few more attempts were made and then one of her siblings called while Sammy was there and they asked me how I could do that and shouldn't I understand what my brother is like and to be there for the girl who was there for me until she made a mistake. I said there was no coming back from that and I refused to believe that she was manipulated, that it was an easy cop out and I owe her nothing. They tried to insult me but I ended the call and blocked the number. Am I the butthole? OP you tried to, I mean you did warn her. You didn't try to warn her. You literally said,

hey, he's not a good guy, don't date her, and she did it anyways. So, how is this your fault? How is this your responsibility? OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your brother gets 4 out of 5 buttholes for beating up women. And I'm giving your friend, I guess, 2.5 out of 5 buttholes for being really hypocritical and unfair towards you. That was r slash mi the butthole and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.