rSlash - r/AITA Your Choice: Pay Me or GO TO JAIL

Episode Date: December 30, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:00 These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home Welcome to our slash am I the butthole where O.P. threatens to send her sister to jail Am I the butthole for making my parents choose between my sister going to jail or replacing my car with their vacation money I'm a 17 year old girl who lives with my parents. I have an older sister who's 29 that they had when they were super young. Like, I think my mom was 19 and my dad was 18. They did not do a great job with her and she has a lot of problems. She's chronically unemployed and she's a thief. She has two kids who are okay. They live with us as well because her boyfriend didn't want them around. I like the kids, but they're spoiled little brats that my parents do it on to make up for being terrible parents to their mom.
Starting point is 00:00:54 My parents won't let me put a lock on my door because it's their house and they don't want to do that. No problem. I talked to my sister's kids and explained about what would happen if they came into my room without permission, and we have an understanding. Well, my sister broke up with her boyfriend and she needed a place to stay. I begged my parents not to let her stay with us. They declined, so I begged again for a lock on my door. No dice. I have to go to school, so I can't guard my stuff at all times. When I came
Starting point is 00:01:26 home on Friday, I found my car absolutely trashed and the sight of it destroyed. My sister had gone into my room, found my spare key, and taken my car. Then she lost control on the ice after a day of eating junk food and tossing fast food wrappers everywhere. She sideliked a tree. When I saw my car, I was livid. I told my parents that I expected her to pay to fix it. They said that she didn't have any money, so I said that I would call my grandparents. They had helped me get the car and the insurance. After talking with my grandfather, I came back to talk to my parents.
Starting point is 00:02:03 I said that the insurance would cover fixing or replacing my car depending on the damage. However, I would have to file a police report, and my sister would probably be charged for stealing my car. They begged me to tell the insurance that she had permission, and I said nope. So rather than going through insurance, my parents are replacing my car. But they're using money they had set aside to take me and my nieces to Orlando next summer for my graduation. That's fine, I can go without seeing Disney rolled again. But my parents, sister, and nieces are upset with me, saying that I'm the butthole for denying
Starting point is 00:02:38 my nieces the opportunity to go on vacation that they never got to have. I just asked them if a lock for my door would have been cheaper. Am I the butthole? Okay, let's be super, super clear here. OP, you are not the one denying your nieces of vacation. The person denying your nieces of vacation is your sister. Like, she literally stole someone else's car, trashed it, and was like, oops, my bad.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Anyways, good like fixing your car. Like, this was like, oops, my bad. Anyways, good like fixing your car. Like, this is a car we're talking about. This has actual monetary value. Stealing someone's car is effectively the same thing as just going to their bank account and stealing money. Trashing their car is effectively the same as just shredding their money. So, yeah, I think the way you handle the situation is very logical.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Either file a police report and get your sister arrested, which honestly she deserves, or your sister and your parents pay for it. I will say though that I believe technically it kind of depends on who owns the car. Um, you said that your grandparents helped you, which would lead me to believe that your grandparents gave you some money to buy the car and that you put in some of your own money as well, which means that effectively, even though they paid for half of it at your car
Starting point is 00:03:48 because they gifted it to you, however, if it's anyone else's car, then that person gets to decide what to do about the insurance or what to do about who gets to pay or whatever. Since this story leads me to believe that OP owns the car, then in my opinion, it's a 100% OP decision to decide what happens here.
Starting point is 00:04:05 I'm giving OP 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the sister 3 out of 5 buttholes. I'm also giving the parents 3 out of 5 buttholes because yeah, even though they are paying for the car, the problem is they should have just given OP a lock to begin with and they should stop being such terrible parents. They really need to stop enabling their older daughter and spoiling their grandkids. Am I the butthole for leaving?
Starting point is 00:04:29 When my mom told me to move my car so that her neighbor's daughter could park in her driveway? Some backstory. My mom has always wanted a daughter. Instead, she ended up with two sons and six grand sons. 16 years ago, a young woman with a two-year-old daughter, Lily moved across the street from her. She was a single mom and didn't have any family in the area, so my
Starting point is 00:04:51 mom offered to help take care of the little girl while her mom worked and studied. Over the years, my mom has become an adoptive mom slash grandmother to this woman and her daughter. She was there when the woman married her husband and had two more girls together. She's very close to the whole family, but especially Lily. My mom was born and raised in Italy. My dad was French. My brother and I don't speak any French or Italian. Lily is not only fluent in French and Italian, but she knows more about my culture than me or my brother, and she knows all of my mom's recipes. My mom also helped pay for Lilly's private school tuition because she doesn't like the public schools in the area. Lilly, my son and my nephew graduated from high school in May. My son and my nephew
Starting point is 00:05:34 each got a card and a check for $300. My mom took Lilly to Europe for 8 weeks over the summer. I got to my mom's house with my sons last night. We planned on staying for a few days because we live eight hours away. I was parked in the driveway. Then, right before dinner, my mom told me that I had to move my car so Lily could park in her driveway. I said Lily could park in the street, but mom said no. She said the driveway is Lily's spot and I have to move, so I told my son to get our bags and we went home. My mom's been calling me since last night asking me to come back and saying that I overreacted to being asked to move my car. I refused and my sons and I are celebrating without her but I'm
Starting point is 00:06:16 starting to wonder if I was the butthole for leaving when my mom told me to move my car. Okay so this story is not really about the car, it's not really about the parking space. This story is about what 16 years of being treated as a second class citizen, just because you've got the wrong body parts between your legs. Here's what I don't understand. What does preferring a daughter have to do with not teaching your sons, your language, or your culture, or your recipes or treating them with basic love and respect. Right? I mean, if the mom's Italian and she speaks Italian and the dad's French and he speaks French, that means that neither one of them spoke their native
Starting point is 00:06:56 language to OP or his brother growing up. But when Lily was growing up, they both spoke those languages to her to intentionally teach her. Why? I don't even understand why. Why would you not want to teach your native language to your own kids? Wouldn't you want to be able to speak to your own children and your native tongue? And the whole $300 versus an 8-week trip to Europe over the summer? That's, um, that's pretty low. That's... that's a low blow. That hurts.
Starting point is 00:07:24 I'm sorry about your mom not really loving you. I hate to say it, but that's just the reality. Because if she loved you, then she would want to share her culture, her language, her recipes with you. But since you got a ding dong, I guess she just doesn't love you that much. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mother three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for pointing out that my brother lives a very privileged life.
Starting point is 00:07:48 I'm a 45 year old guy and my older brother, who's 51, lives with me. He has never really been good at life. He's had a few jobs here and there, but mostly just stuff like Walmart and McDonald's, and he delivered pizzas for about a month. He's never held down a job for more than 60 days. He dropped out of high school. He's never held down a job for more than 60 days. He dropped
Starting point is 00:08:05 out of high school, he never bothered to get a GED, let alone any college or trade school. He mostly just sits in his room while drinking my booze, smoking my pot, and eating my food while he plays whatever JRPG he's currently obsessed with. I don't mind this, I truly don't. I did well in life, and my wife invested our money very well, so we're comfortable. I have more than enough resources to support him fully for the rest of our lives, and I intend to do so. He's not taking food out of my kids' mouths, and he's not cutting into their college funds. It's literally extra money that I would just be scrolling away if I didn't spend it on him. Last night at dinner, my wife told me that her brother lost his job, and she asked me if
Starting point is 00:08:47 we could float on some cash for bills and stuff while he finds a new job. I told her to have him send me an estimate of how much he needs to cover six months, and that was that, or so I thought. My brother proceeded to head over to Facebook and post a rant about how people need to be more self-reliant and not ask for handouts that they didn't earn. He didn't mention my brother-in-law by name, but it was pretty clear that that is what triggered his rant. I commented on his post and asked him how living off of me for the past nine years was
Starting point is 00:09:17 self-reliant. I told him that he's an unincredibly privileged position, because not everyone has a millionaire brother to pay all their bills for them. I also asked how the allowance I gave him every week isn't a handout. Anyway, a bunch of his friends from his video game started clowning on him in the comments. Apparently, he tells people online that he's an investment banker. He deleted the post, and he hasn't come out of his room since. My wife says that it was messed up for me to call him out publicly like that, and I could
Starting point is 00:09:47 have been more respectful about it, and my aunt is furious with me for airing the family laundry, so I kinda think that I might be the butthole here, not for what I said, but for the fact that I said it publicly, but at the same time, I don't feel like the butthole because his rant was public too. Yeah, OP, I agree with you 100%. Why is it okay for him to criticize your wife's family and public, but you can't criticize him and public? And on top of that, this is a classic example of don't bite the hand that feeds you.
Starting point is 00:10:17 This guy's living in your house rent free, eating your food, drinking your booze, and then he's going to criticize you for giving money to other people? I think there's a really easy solution here OP. Just throw him out, say, you're right big brother. It's wrong to give people handouts they don't deserve, so I've decided to stop giving you handouts. Then just wait and see how long it takes for him to come crawling back. My guess?
Starting point is 00:10:41 Less than 30 days. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your brother gets 1 out of 5 buttholes. What he did wasn't that bad, he's just a massive hypocrite. Am I the butthole for not attending my husband's celebration dinner due to the restaurant not having anything I could eat? My husband's been working really hard the last two years to advance at his company and he finally got the promotion that he's been after. I'm really, really proud of him. His parents are too and wanted to take us all out to dinner
Starting point is 00:11:09 to celebrate. My husband absolutely loves Prime Rib and there's only one place in our area that serves it so we pick that restaurant. The thing is, I am not fond of steak. I eat it but very rarely. Oh is that a pun o'pey? I prefer chicken or fish. I eat it, but very rarely. Oh, is that a pun OP? I prefer chicken or fish. I looked up the menu before leaving, and right now they have a limited menu. The place had only one fish on tray and two chicken on trays,
Starting point is 00:11:35 and none of them sounded good for various reasons. I suggested that he pick somewhere else so everyone can eat. He refused, citing that we rarely get to go to this place, but go to other places in our area regularly, which is true. But those places have lots of variety so everyone can eat. He suggested that I ask if they could prepare the fish or chicken without the marinade or sauces. But I didn't want to be difficult for the kitchen staff. His next suggestion was that I order dessert while everyone else ate entrees,
Starting point is 00:12:04 and then when we were done, he would take me where I wanted so I could eat dinner while he and the kids ate dessert. So I opted to just not go because I didn't want to sit there not eating and not having a good time while everyone else was. My husband asked me to go so that he could celebrate with the people most important to him. I told him no again and that he needed to get going before he was late.
Starting point is 00:12:26 He did go, but came back a little over an hour later with the kids and they all had to go boxes. He said that he couldn't think of what to tell the kids about why I didn't go when they kept asking without lying or making me sound bad, so he just got an order for them to go and let the kids spend some time with their grandparents talking in the parking lot. I told him he should have stayed, but he said that I put him in a bad spot with the kids, and that I knew that he wanted everyone there, and that I should have just gotten over my picky eating for one night. I maintained that if he really wanted us to all eat dinner as a family, then he should have just picked a restaurant with a more accommodating menu.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Am I the butthole? Man, man, come on, OP. This is not your celebration, it's his celebration. So why is it that on his celebration, we have to accommodate your taste, not his tastes. This is like the equivalent of like, it's his birthday and he wants chocolate cake, but you're like, oh, I don't want chocolate cake. I want pie. And he's like, yeah, but it's my birthday. I don't want pie. I want chocolate cake. Oh, yeah. Well, well, I want pie because I don't like chocolate cake. So, so I'm not going to go to your birthday. Like, you sound like you sound like a petulant 12 year old. Also in the title, you said that the restaurant didn't have anything you could eat. And I was thinking, yo, how is that possible? Because
Starting point is 00:13:43 even like, steak houses have, they have salads. They usually have like a fish or a chicken dish. They have appetizers that have, you know, stuffed mushrooms or oysters. There's typically lots of stuff, even at specialized restaurants that are kind of off theme. And they do, they literally do. They, you're like, I prefer chicken or fish.
Starting point is 00:14:03 And yeah, they did have chicken and fish dishes, but I didn't like them. I could tell just by looking at them. You literally lied. You literally lied. The restaurant didn't have anything I could eat, but yes, they did. And let's just suppose, let's just suppose that those chicken and fish dishes were the most disgusting dishes that you could possibly imagine. So, suck it up, OP. This isn't about you, it's about your husband, so just go, don't eat anything, poke around at your salad with a fork, smile, and support your husband. If you honestly are so selfish that you can't sacrifice one meal to support your husband, then why are you even married?
Starting point is 00:14:45 Opie, I'm giving you, um, I think I'll say 2 out of 5 buttholes because you were super unsupportive, but in the grand scheme of things, not attending a meal isn't that bad, but hopefully you learn your lesson. I'm giving your husband 0 out of 5 buttholes. I feel really bad for your husband. Honestly, I feel like he handled this almost perfectly. He showed up so that he didn't embarrass his parents and then he came back to support you because even though you're being sucky, it still has shopped
Starting point is 00:15:14 to support his wife. And like the suggestions he gave about how you could eat something else or you could get a dessert and then you go to a second place afterwards, like that's a super logical compromise. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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