rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Disowning My Mom?

Episode Date: November 18, 2022

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Welcome to our slash, Am I the Butthole, where OP's bully demands to be invited to OP's birthday party? Am I the Butthole for not inviting one child for my daughter's class to a party? Me and my husband have a daughter, Peyton, who 7. Peyton goes to a small school with 20 kids in her grade. Her birthday party is next month, and we sent out invitations to her friends at school. We invited the whole class, except for one student. The student that we did not invite has bullied Peyton several times. We've had meetings with the school and their parents. Obviously, Peyton doesn't want this kid

at her birthday party. The bully's mother called me to talk about it, saying how now her daughter is crying that she was the only kid not invited, and everyone at school is talking about the party. Patent's parties are known by her classmates to be very over the top. I explained that her daughter isn't nice to my daughter, and that's the reason that she wasn't invited. The mother already knows this. The mother said that I'm teaching my child to be a bully and use her wealth to make friends, but I disagreed. The mother then asked if she had her daughter apologize and write patent a letter. Could we reconsider? And I told her that we wouldn't because it's become a big

deal every time I see the mom. Am I the butthole? Okay, um, there's some contexts, which is awesome because it looks like OP is answering exactly the questions I was wondering. Okay, so I'll give a couple of examples from last year and this year. One time Peyton came home crying because this little girl was so mean to her, telling her that she wasn't pretty, that she was too chubby, etc. Peyton has come home crying several times because the girl is told her there's no way that she's a cheerleader because she wasn't pretty. Peyton does cheer on the weekends. She told Peyton that she couldn't play with the rest of the girls in her class when they were all playing jump rope at recess. The other girls told her to let Peyton play, so when it was Peyton's turn to jump rope,

the girl purposefully got her out by not swinging the rope nicely. The teacher saw this happen and she called Peyton a crybaby. These are only a couple of the incidents that happens. Yeah, OP, so not only are you not the butthole, but if you allowed your daughter's bully to come to your daughter's birthday party just to appease the bully's mother, then that would make you a bully. And like if the other girl is crying because she wasn't invited, too bad! Maybe, just maybe you shouldn't bully people and expect them to invite you over to their house. Also, like if you already had meetings with the school and the parents about this,

then this is a known problem, so they had ample opportunity to fix it, but they decided not to. So OP, you are completely in the clear here. I'm giving you and your daughter zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the bully and the bully's mother two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for only taking my nieces in and not their dad after my sister passed away? I'm a 33 year old woman and my sister, who's 36, passed away a month ago because of cancer. It's devastating and words't express how we feel.

Her husband has struggled to pay off debts, and he's asked me and my husband to take him and my nieces, ages 13 and 16, in for some time. I have to say that I am not on good terms with him. We've had more than our fair share of disagreements in the past. He tried to sue me and my husband for my own mother's house, which I'm living in with my husband and daughter, but he claimed that he needed money to pay for my sister's treatment, and that this was the only way to get it after we. My brother and I refused to help. It's a long story, but we're not on good terms.

I agreed to only take my nieces in, but not him. He tried to negotiate this, saying that his daughters are grieving and need him, the remaining parent to be around. I said that he could see them during visits, and that was it. My husband agreed with me at first. My brother-in-law showed up with my nieces days ago, and I only let the girls in, but turned them away after he tried to talk me into letting them stay. We had a huge argument, and the girls went inside crying after their dad left repeatedly saying they want him. My husband is backing out of this, saying that we might be making a mistake separating

the girls from their dad when they're grieving. My aunt berated me, saying that I messed up entirely here. I argued that it's my home, and that I don't feel comfortable with him staying after what he's done. She called me selfish and bitter and said that I'm making it more difficult for the girls who just lost their mom. Now, the girls are quiet, but my 16-year-old niece keeps arguing about wanting her dad with him. My husband still thinks that we're making a mistake and getting the girls to resent me for what I'm doing to their dad who's grieving. Okay, so apparently it's this great tremendous crime against humanity that you're separating

the nieces from their dad, but apparently it's perfectly fine for your brother-in-law to separate you from the house that you and your family is living in. Like that guy burned that bridge when he sued you and now he's like, what? Why isn't there a bridge here anymore? Only smoldering wreckage? When did that happen? Dude, it happened when you sued her. And like, why is it that every single one of these stories has the, oh, so concerned,

pearl-clutching relatives who's like, I cannot believe you kicked that person out of your home. Okay, well then you take them in. Easy, problem solved. You take in the dad, you take in the two nieces, simple problem solved. Then the happy family can be reunited under your roof, aunt. I will say though, there's a caveat here. So the brother-in-law sued OP for the house that OP is living in and that house used to

belong to OP's mother. I don't know if this is the case, but if it is the case that the mother left that house divided evenly between the three siblings and then OP just moved in and kind of claimed the house and in that situation the brother-in-law should sue OP because he's entitled to that one-third of the house and in that situation the brother-in-law should sue OP because he's entitled to that one third of the house. OP should absolutely pay the brother-in-law 33% of the house's value. Now I'm just guessing I don't know if that's actually the case but I can't really imagine why else the brother-in-law would sue them for their mother's house. So I'm gonna give two completely different

butthole scores depending on this super super important possibility. If OP has full rights to the house that she's living in, then OP gets 0 out of 5 buttholes and the brother-in-law gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. If OP does not own the entire house and the house was supposed to be split evenly between the three siblings, then OP gets 4 out of 5 buttholes for stealing from her dying sister and for abandoning her brother-in-law whom she also stole from. In that case, I would give the brother-in-law 0 out of 5 buttholes because he's clearly a victim there. Am I the butthole for not letting my daughter have locks on her room?

I'm a 43 year old woman and my daughter, Laura, is 17. She's been struggling to focus on her studies while her brothers, Kyle, who's 12, and Ryan, who's 9, are constantly disrespecting her privacy. A few days ago, she was yelling at Kyle for coming into her room. I asked her what happened, and she explained that Kyle flipped all of her items upside down. I called Kyle to come in and flip everything right side up. Yesterday, Ryan was running into her room and kept stealing her stuff while she ran out to get them back.

On the night of the same day, Laura was trying to sleep when the brother suddenly barged in and ran through it, resulting in her screaming at them to stay out and close the door while she was sleeping to give a few examples. This morning, her father told her that she didn't like the way that she was screaming. She said that she was trying to sleep and that her brothers were making all kinds of ruckus. He told her that they're just kids and they'll learn. Laura said that they'll never learn, and the only way for them to learn is to have

locks installed on her room. Her father didn't want that. They went back and forth on this, until she threatened that she would move out as soon as she became financially independent. She said that she wasn't going to wait for her brothers to mature because they should already know to respect her privacy. At that point, her father said to wait because they should include me in this conversation as well. I overheard, and when she went to her room, I told her that she wasn't

going to have locks on her door because she already waste her time without the need for locks, and I don't want her to fail. Laura said that her brothers were never going to listen without them, and I told her that I would make sure they wouldn't enter her room. This evening, I heard her shouting for me. We were all in the living room. Her father explained what was going on. Laura said that while she was making Kyle T, Kyle did what he wasn't allowed to do and went into her room. She said that she was going to tell on them, and he said that if she promises to not tell, he and Ryan will never go into her room again. Laura didn't say anything so they ran upstairs to her room. I told Laura that she has no right to complain since she always sleeps in Kyle's room after school.

Laura said that she only sleeps in Kyle's room because he never uses it aside from sleeping at night. And if he actually used it for studying, then she would never go in there. Meanwhile, her brothers constantly disturb her, mess with her stuff, and make her unable to sleep at night. I told Laura that if her brother's ever

go to her room she needs to come to me first. Then Kyle started saying that they had a right to go into her room while she was sleeping because they were just playing. Laura yelled at him, then said that she can't wait to move out so she no longer has to deal with them. She also called me an awful mother for not giving her locks in her bedroom door. Man, there's so much wrong with this post. Opie, you said, I told Laura that if her brothers ever go to her room, she needs to go to me first, but she does! She does! And what do you do in response?

Absolutely nothing, because the brothers keep on and keep on and keep on going into her room. Look, she's 17 with two brothers in the house. She deserves privacy. She deserves to be able to sleep in peace. She deserves to be able to study in peace. And like, also, I don't know how to put this. How should I say this? 17-year-old teenagers. When they think they're alone and they're in their bedroom by themselves, they tend to do something to relax themselves. You all know what I'm talking about.

Juggling, of course. They juggle. So, you know, when a 17-year-old girl's had a stressful day at school and she wants to relieve some stress and she just wants to juggle in peace, then shouldn't she have the right to do that? Think of how embarrassing it would be if her brothers walked in on her while she was juggling. And like, why is this the hill to die on? She deserves her privacy,

but the alternative is not having locks on the door. Like what's the big deal? Why is it so important to not have locks on the door? My God, OP, just give the girl locks. OP, I'm giving you and your husband 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. You're being bad parents to your daughter because you're not respecting her wishes or her privacy. Also, you're being a bad parent to your sons because you're just letting them bully your daughter. Your sons also get 1.5 out of 5 buttholes because even though they're kids, they are old enough that they should know better.

Laura, on the other hand, get zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my mom that she only has one kid? My parents divorced when my sister and I were five and six years old. Now, my sister is 20 and I'm 19. My mom met her second husband three years later. He was a widower with a seven-month-old son. She instantly moved them in and started claiming his son as her own and raising him like us. She got engaged to him, and a few

weeks before the wedding, our dad died. By this point, my mom had become a strange from her entire extended family. She told my dad's parents that if they wanted to see us again soon, they would need to come to her wedding and babysit all three of us, including my stepbrother. She then told them after the wedding that, going forward, if they wanted to see us or spend time with us, they had to include him as well. But my grandparents didn't want that. They tried to argue for just spending time with us. They offered to pay for everything, 100% but my mom said no.

She said they needed to come to the house and make an effort with all three, not just two of us. My sister and I would argue with mom over one day in particular. My dad's birthday. We celebrated that every year with dad's family after my dad died, but she wouldn't even let that day be just us and them. Our stepbrother just had to be there. She said that the event didn't get to be just my dad's family and that my stepbrother wasn't any less deserving of being present. But she's wrong.

Our stepbrother was never our dad's kid and had never even met him. So why was he deserving of being there? I never understood that. And she called a selfish for the mindset. Last year, I turned 18 and moved in with my girlfriend. Once I left home, my stepbrother was no longer invited to anything to do with my dad's family. He no longer saw them. My sister and I also stopped spending time at my mom's house. Then we stopped speaking to them all together. Things have been quiet for several months. Then last week, mom showed up where I worked

and demanded that we talk. She told me how she was tired of one of her kids being left out and how sick was it to discard him that way. And why weren't my sister and I advocating for him? I told her that she only had one kid, her stepson, and that me and my sister and I advocating for him. I told her that she only had one kid, her stepson, and that me and my sister were no longer her kids, and my dad's family were no longer forced to include him to see us, and that this was all her fault for forcing it on us in the first place. Then I wished her luck, which was kind of sarcastic, not gonna lie, and then asked her to leave. She texted me later that night to say that she had been a good mom to all three of us, and to say that she only had one kid was low.

Am I the butthole? Okay, so what your mother did here was kind of like the opposite of what she intended. What she wanted to do was make her stepson feel included and be part of the family and to make you and your sister love your stepbrother as an equal. The problem is the way that she did that was she imposed the stepson in between you and your beloved did father and your beloved grandparents. So she turned your stepbrother into an obstacle which is idiotic because as a result she turned your stepbrother into an obstacle, which is idiotic, because as a result, you treated your stepbrother as an obstacle. And then when you cut your mother

out of her life and she showed up, me, in my innocent naivete, assumed that she showed up because she wanted to beg for you to come back and talk to her, because she missed you blah, blah, blah. But no, it was to criticize you for not talking to your stepbrother. Which I'll be honest, I should have seen coming, I've read enough of these stories that this should have been super obvious, but I was completely blindsided by that. Because I thought that maybe she actually loves you. But no, your right OP, she doesn't really love you, all she really cares about is her steps on.

Like, what kind of parent has their kids completely cut them out of their lives and their response is, I can't believe they won't spend time with their stepbrother. You know what it kinda feels like, Opie? It feels like your mother was trying to erase your father and replace him with your stepbrother. Opie, you and your sister get zero out of five buttolls. I think the way that you react to this situation is very normal and understandable. Your mother, on the other hand, gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. What she was doing was really messed up, cruel, and emotionally abusive.

That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.