rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Making My Parents Homeless?

Episode Date: September 13, 2022

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Welcome to our slash, Am I the butthole, where OP allows her parents to become homeless? Am I the butthole for not helping my parents when they're homeless? My parents are terrible with money. I'm currently a 27 year old woman. When I was little, my father gambled away all of our savings, about $100,000 in risky penny stocks, which got wiped out in 2008, and the three of us were forced to move into a single bedroom house. Then my mom fell for an MLM scam, and you can imagine what happened. They lost the down payment to the house that they were saving for.

I begged them not to sign up for it since it was clearly a scam, and I even showed them evidence for it, but they just laughed at me and ignored me. They lost about $28,000 from that. Then recently, they fell for a college sign-up scam and lost $32,000. They weren't signing up for college. They just needed a loan and tried to go through a private broker who promised to get them a school loan that they could use whenever they wanted. I went with them to see the broker and I told them that it was a scam

and they ignored me. So basically they were trying to scam the government and they got scammed instead. I actually tried to pry the pen away from my father's hand when I got desperate because he was writing down his bank info and social security number. And he screamed at me that I was embarrassing him and did it anyways. Again, they lost all their money and now they're homeless because they're credit as garbage and they can barely afford the lowest tier apartments. They probably can't get that money back since they have very little documentation about the broker and what he promised. Now they live in their car and they're begging me for money.

I have about $100,000 saved away to buy a house, and they know about it because I stupidly told them that I was saving for a house. And now they're calling me and showing up at my apartment asking for money. They also want to move in with me in the meantime. But my roommate and I agreed on placing a max limit on how long family can stay with us. If my parents move in, they'll probably refuse to move out. They're going to food

pantries, but honestly, I just can't find it in myself to be sympathetic since they don't listen to me until they need my money. O.P., try to look at it this way. If you give money to your parents, then you're basically just giving money to scammers. Your parents, to put it simply, are idiots. Complete numbscalls, doofuses, morons! They've lost what, $100, $160,000 to scams and penny stocks. So, yeah, if you give them any amount of money, basically all you'll be doing is buying some scam or a new car. I wouldn't give them a penny OP.

I'm giving you zero out of five buttles, and I'm giving your parents three out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for making my daughter share her presence with my stepdaughter? I'm a 40 year old woman and I was a single mother to my daughter Amy who's 15. I came out 3 years ago and married my wife Jenna who's 42 last year. She has a daughter Nora who's 13. We all live together because I have full custody of my daughter. It was kind of hard for Amy to adjust to having a second mom, but they got along well. The girls have their birthdays very close, only two days apart, so we decided to have a

joint birthday party for both of them since Nora had a hard time making new friends. Most of my family lives out of the country, so the gifts were sent to weak early. It was a huge bag with at least 20 gifts. The party was nice, and we opened the bag at night once everyone left. My wife, Jenna, handed out the presents as she took them out of the bag. After 12 gifts in a row from Amy, I checked the bag,

and I froze to see that there was only one gift for Nora from my parents. Nora pretended that it wasn't a big deal, but as she opened the present, I saw her eyes drop. It was a $15 tumbler from Walmart. Not to sound ungrateful, but Amy's gifts were much more expensive. Lots of gift cards over $100, a new phone, limited edition funcodes, designer clothes, and lots of cards wishing her a happy birthday. Needless to say, I blew up the family chat, calling out my parents, siblings, and extended family who sent gifts for not considering Nora and my parents for the cheap gift.

No one took me seriously since it's not our duty to give gifts to someone else's kid, and Amy deserved them since I didn't even throw her her own birthday party. They emphasized that Jenna and Nora are my problem, not theirs. Nora was clearly hurt since this isn't the first time that my family has left her out. At night, I asked Amy to share some of the gifts with her step-sister. Not all of them, just a couple of gift cards and some of the new clothes. Amy refused. This surprised me since she's never had a

problem with sharing and even though she and Nora aren't BFFs, they usually get along great. After I asked why, Amy started crying saying that she never wanted to join birthday party and that I forced her to share everything with Nora. They share a room to save space and I make sure they're both invited to the same parties and sleep over so that Nora won't be left out. If they both don't get invites, then neither of them goes. Amy said that she at least once her own gifts to be hers alone. I scolded her for being selfish with her step sister, grounded her, and took a couple of the presents to give to Nora.

Nora turned them down because she didn't want problems with Amy, and it felt like pity. Since then, Amy has been cold to all of us. I just wanted my two girls to be closer with a joint party and have the same things. Am I the butthole? Yes, OP. Yes, you are very much the butthole. First, we'll do the easy one. Forcing two kids to share the same birthday is lazy parenting. Both of your kids have every right to be upset about sharing a birthday because frankly it's disrespectful. Secondly, and this is like the much bigger problem,

is you're the one who screwed up here, right? You did a bad job of communicating to your family that you expected equal gifts for both of your kids, and as a result your terrible family showed favorites towards Amy. So even though you messed up and even though your family showed favoritism, you're expecting your daughter to pay the price for that. For some reason, it's Amy's responsibility to fix this problem. Not yours, not your family's like, what's the logic there? She didn't do anything wrong, she's just a 15 year old girl who had a birthday party. This is 0% Amy's fault, but you're making her pay the price for your mistakes.

This is lazy, pathetic parenting. I mean, damn, Amy's not even allowed to have her own friends. She has to share her friends with her sister. She's let Amy be her own person. Like I feel for Nora, like she's shy, she has trouble making friends. Your family doesn't like her, that sucks. But these are separate issues, and these are not Amy's responsibility to fix. They're your responsibility. I'm giving Amy a Nora 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving you 4 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for blocking access to my food and threatening no help with accommodation? I'm a 22-year-old guy, and I'm in my first serious relationship with Haley who's 25. We've been together for just under a year. She moved into my place three months ago. Everything was fine in the beginning, but once we started seeing each other more frequently, I noticed her bad habits.

Every time we went out and food was involved, she would sample my food before I got to it. And we're not talking that she just grabs a french fry off my plates. In actual classy restaurants, she would take the first bite of my steak, or salmon, or dessert. You name it, she would take the first bite. I had several talks with her about this, but she said that it was cute and not sinister. Four months ago, Haley got a job with the training

opportunity. Once she completes it, she'll have a higher salary. My place is 40 minutes closer to her new job, so I offered her to live with me rent-free if she stopped this behavior. During the first month, she stuck to our agreement. The second month, she slipped up a few times. Then, the third month, she went back to her old ways. Last weekend was a turning point. So, I bake as a hobby and I made a cake. After dividing the cake into eight slices, I left it in the fridge while I went out with a friend. Usually, whenever I bake and a friend drops me off, I'll give them a few slices as a way to say thank you. So imagine my surprise when I saw that each slice of cake had a bite taken out of it.

I called my friend to tell him that I owed him a cake and that he didn't need to wait for me to come back down. I was angry. I told Haley that she embarrassed me and that we had to figure out a solution. She got defensive and said that she ate it due to loving me so much. That all women do this and guys love it. I made it very clear that she had to stop now or there would be consequences. The next day I bought a lockbox for the fridge. She was livid, but she couldn't do much. Last night, she broke the lock and had taken a bite out of all my snacks and two slices of baguettes that I had in there.

I told her to pack her stuff up and leave while I stay with my mom for a few hours. She called me a butthole for making her homeless and possibly ruining her employment opportunities. Reddit, am I the butthole? O.P. She broke the lock on your snack lock box just to take one bite out of everything. Okay, this isn't cute behavior. This is clearly some sort of like power play on her parts. No, no, no girl is going to get bolt cutters and cut open a lock to expressly go again someone else's commands just to be cute and take a bite out of your cupcake. No, that's not cute. That is trampling over boundaries. You are being as clear and upfront and honest as you can possibly be by saying,

hey, I don't like this, it makes me uncomfortable, please stop. And she's doing it over and over and over and going to great lengths to do it as well. So OP, this is clearly a red flag here. What she's showing here, especially by taking one bite out of each and every slice of your cake, is I own your stuff, I don't't respect your boundaries and what you have is mine

But it's not the case that what I have is yours. So OP I think you're making the right call by kicking you out OP. I'm giving you zero out of five but holes I'm giving Haley 2.5 out of five but holes Am I the but hole for making my mother-in-law believe that I was having an affair? I'm a 27 year old woman and my husband is 26, and we're huge gaming addicts. Both of our parents hate that we play games, and we've gotten into multiple fights as kids and adults over our hobby. It's a sore subject in our family, and we've opted to lie and say that we're outside

if anyone asks what we're doing. We both work from home, and when we're done from work, we play games until midnight. None of us like leaving the house, so we're practically next to each other 95% of the time. There is no humanly possible way for either of us to cheat on each other. I'm currently pregnant, and this has caused our in-laws to visit very frequently. Due to this increase in visits, we've reduced much of our gaming time for the better health of the baby and so they don't see us gaming.

We've gotten into arguments about how our hobbies are unacceptable and childish and that we need to change. We always tell everyone that we're unavailable on Sunday. We always say that we're on a date or something. But in reality, we're both at home getting our weekly gaming quota covered. Last Sunday, my husband went to a gaming cafe with visiting friends and I stayed home. My mother-in-law called me in the middle of a match, and I suppose I was acting very suspicious because I wanted to end the conversation ASAP. She asked what I was doing, and I replied automatically without thinking that I was on a date

with my husband. According to my husband, she then later called him and he said that he was at a bar with friends. My mother-in-law decided to visit my house where I was unsurprisingly in the middle of another game. I avoided her phone calls and pretended not to hear the knocking until the match was over, which took about 20 minutes. Afterwards I answered the door and pretended that I was sleeping, which is why I wasn't answering the phone or the door. My mother-in-law exploded at me, calling me a cheater, and that the child that I was pregnant with wasn't her son's.

Because otherwise, why wouldn't I answer the door? The idea that I would cheat, and that it would even be possible to cheat on my partner, was so hilarious to me that I burst out laughing, which angered my mother-in-law even more. She continued to berate me while I just smiled, sitting there thinking how ridiculous all this was. When my husband came home, she berated me in front of him about how he was cheating on him. My husband was visibly confused the whole time, and confirmed with his mother that there was no possible way for me to cheat on him. He explained how we're together practically every moment of the day. And when my mother-in-law saw that he wasn't getting on her side, she proceeded to get mad at me for leading her on.

She called me a butthole for pretending to have an affair and never correcting her before she told other people. Although I never clarified that I wasn't cheating, I do think that it wasn't her place to come unannounced and proclaim that I'm a cheater. Am I the butthole? OP, your parents sound super toxic. I don't know why you keep tolerating their nonsense. Like what's wrong with gaming, honestly? That it's childish? That's just a stupid stereotype that's not even accurate. Most video game players are adults, not kids. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. You did literally nothing wrong here. Your mother-in-law gets 2.5 out of five buttholes, her being judgmental, and for barging in on your life when she has

no business doing so. Am I the butthole for sending my boyfriend a photo of me at the hospital? I'm a 20-year-old woman, and I was recently admitted into a hospital for one night due to a serious, but not life-threatening illness. I was completely out of it for several days with horrible pain before my roommate convinced me to get medical help. She took off work to stay with me in the hospital, and I can't express how much her support has helped me since my family lives too far away. Now I've been dating Sam, a 19 year old guy for about 9 months. He knew that I was sick, so I texted him when I first got to the hospital

to update him. Since he was working, he didn't read the message until much later. I sent him around six text messages updating him with what the nurses were saying, including a photo of me on IV giving a thumbs up. It was my first time ever in the hospital, and I just wanted to keep this sucky situation as lighthearted as possible. He responded a few hours later with a thumbs up, and that was all. I asked if everything was alright, and he said, yeah, just you being in the hospital is giving me a lot of anxiety. I'd rather not see you looking like that. I told him that was okay and didn't message him for the rest of the night, not thinking

much of it. The next afternoon, his mom called me asking if I was okay. She had the impression that I sent him the hospital photo after he told me not to share any information and I was disrespecting his request. She reminded me that his grandfather died a year earlier, and Sam had to spend a lot of time in and out of the hospital, so the updates were making him grieve all over again. I apologized to her and sent him a text saying that I didn't mean to hurt his feelings and he left me on red.

My roommate thinks that I didn't do anything wrong at all and he's being too insensitive and immature for involving his mom. Personally, I think this is a bit unfair because he was really close with his grandfather and struggles with anxiety. I feel really, really guilty because I know how important mental health can be and I never want him to suffer. Am I the butthole? And then

OP post an update. This morning, I woke up to a text from Sam asking for a break. He told me he needs to focus on himself and that there's too much drama in the relationship. I agree. I've been with Sam through all of his anxiety attacks, holding him crying in my arms more times than I can count. He has never done the same for me. I've made excuses over and over again for his behavior. I've begged him to go to therapy and he's always refused. This hospital stay has been eye-opening. Oh, and his mom, she reminded me to let go of my feelings and do what's best for me. She said that she's starting up therapy because she's going to need support when I'm gone.

I actually laughed out loud at that one. She hasn't reached out to me yet and I hope that she never does. Okay, I was like all ready to give this guy a butthole score, but then it turns out that you had been emotionally supporting him. Would he hadn't been emotionally supporting you, and he got so much worse. This guy's girlfriend was hospitalized, and his response was to go complain to his mommy about you. What? OP, you are definitely better off without this man, baby. I'm giving you zero out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving him 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast

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