rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Refusing to Give My Husband My House?

Episode Date: October 8, 2022

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Welcome to our slash, Am I the Butthole, where OP refuses to sign over half of her house? Am I the Butthole for refusing to put my husband's name on the title of my house? I'm a 30-year-old woman, and I've been married to my husband, who's 34 for 8 years now. We live in a culture where you never combine your finances after marriage. Also, in the event of a divorce, there's nothing like common property or anything like that. You keep what you bought and anything that has your name on it. We met while we were studying, graduated the same year, and have the same income. Though I also do a bit of freelance work on the side.

We're so in tune with everything, except how we spend money, and he likes to travel while I'm a homebody. Since the first day of marriage, I've proposed that we share expenses equally. Then we should have a savings account to save for a house. He didn't want to save for a house. He said that his money is better spent on experiences. And anyway, there's nothing wrong with renting until we're in our 50s. Then we can buy a house. In the end, we agreed to have a shared account for expenses. Then, whatever's left has ours to do with whatever we want. He tends to take at least two weekend trips with his friends, staying at expensive hotels

and going to concerts. Also, even though I cook almost every meal at home, most times he would just order out for lunch or dinner. I also go on weekend trips with my friends, but there are more like day trips to the beach, hiking in the mountains, scuba diving, etc. Each of my trips costs less than a tenth of what his trips do. Well, I've been saving for all of our eight years together, and now I'm about to close on a small apartment and pay it in full.

No interest or monthly payments. The plan is to live there and save what I'm used to saving, plus whatever I used to spend on rent, and then buy a bigger house and rent out this apartment for extra income. And now my husband wants me to add his name to the deed. I flat out told him, no, he didn't want to save, he didn't put a scent towards this house, so his name does not go on the deed. I also told him that I planned to buy a bigger house, and now he doesn't even have to pay rent.

So he can save up money and put in half towards the next house. Then he can have his name on the deed of the house. Well, he called me a butthole, said that this isn't what it means to be married, and took some days off to go on a trip to cool off. I don't think that I'm the butthole, but I also tend to be stubborn when it comes to what I perceive as financial irresponsibilities. So am I the butthole, but I also tend to be stubborn when it comes to what I perceive as financial irresponsibilities. So am I the butthole? Nah, OP, this is super, super simple.

If he wants to have the house, he can pay for half the house. If he wants to pay for 0% of the house, then he gets 0% equity. It's super easy. Basically, what your husband is saying is he gets to spend 100% of his money on himself, whereas you only get to spend 50% of your money on yourself and 50% on him. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for highlighting that my wife sabotages her daughters? Her daughters are 11 and 13. I've noticed her telling them the wrong information at times,

or missing out crucial information from instructions and I believe it's to make them fail. I noticed this pattern and I began to watch for it. For example, they have afro hair and she insists on brushing out all their knots when their hair is dry before they get in the shower. They sit silently but they have pain across their faces as she tugs at the knots. I mentioned this at work, and one of my colleagues said that her daughter should brush her hair when it's wet with conditioner because the knots will just slide out.

I noticed that my wife does this to her hair, but still insists that her daughter sit and get their hair brushed out. One of her daughters wanted to bake a cake, and my wife laughed to me afterwards because she said that she missed a crucial step in the recipe, and her daughter was upset bake a cake. And my wife laughed to me afterwards because she said that she missed a crucial step in the recipe and her daughter was upset when she failed. It really bothered me because it seemed to give my wife a sense of satisfaction to leave her daughter to struggle and watch her fail. One of her daughters didn't like one of the dishes that my wife had cooked.

And then my wife silently punished her by ordering TV dinners and putting her on a TV dinner diet for the next month without any explanation. I gently approached my wife with this and now she's giving me the silent treatment. Am I the butthole? Uh, OP. The title says, Am I the butthole for highlighting that my wife sabotages her daughters. Sabotage isn't the word that I would use here. More like abuses her daughters. What she's doing isn't cute, it's not funny, it's not even forgivable, it's literal child abuse. I don't understand, are you like, are these your step-daughters?

Why do you keep saying her daughters? OP, you gotta stand up for these girls. I'm giving your wife 4 out of 5 buttholes, and I'm giving O.P. question mark out of 5 buttholes because I feel like I'm missing some really important details here that would change the rating. Am I the butthole for refusing to return my neighbor's special binoculars unless his wife comes to get them? I'm a 28 year old woman and I recently moved into a new neighborhood.

All my neighbors are lovely, except for my next door neighbor, Bless's Heart. He's married and has two kids. I noticed that he's been looking at my house for a while now. So far, I've caught him doing it twice. He had his binoculars with him and it seemed that he was looking in my living room. I hate confrontation so what I did was close the curtains and go about my day, but it started escalating. The other day, he was peeking from his balcony at my backyard where I was sitting, and his binoculars fell in my backyard. I looked

up, and he was gone. He knew that I saw him. I took the binoculars and put them inside. In the evening, he came knocking on my door, asking how I was doing and what not. I rolled my eyes but kept it civil. He then brought up his binoculars and said they must have fell in your backyard earlier today. I was like hmm, wonder how that happens. He said something about his kids probably messing with them and he asked if I could go get them for him. I said that I do have them, but I won't give them to him unless his wife comes and gets them herself. He looked at me shocked and angry and said that those binoculars are his, and they're

special because he has them from when he was in the military. He said that his wife has nothing to do with this. I told him that I'll give them back once his wife shows up and asks for them. All he has to do is send her over. He threw a fit saying that he can't send her because she'll misunderstand the situation. I told him there's nothing to understand. If their kids were really the ones using the binoculars, and I insisted that I won't give them back until his wife comes and gets them.

We got into an argument, but he kept his voices low as he could, then left looking furious. He's been complaining about me wanting to stir up drama and keeps demanding that I return his binoculars back to him and leave his wife out of it. Am I the butthole? And if it matters, he's 37 years old. O.P, your neighbor using binoculars to peep into your windows is both morally creepy and literally illegal. I say don't bother getting the wife involved, get the cops involved instead. If I were you, file a police report, give them back as binoculars to get them off your case and tell him that you filed a police report.

Hopefully that will be enough to get them to stop, but if it doesn't, you can always escalate with the cops or with his wife. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your neighbor gets 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for canceling my credit card after my boyfriend Riff used to return it to me? I'll preface the story by saying that me and my boyfriend have been together for 3.5

years. I'm 27 and he's 30. I've been jumping from one job to another while he's been unemployed due to health issues that affected his performance at work. Usually, I'm the one handling rent, bills, groceries, etc. I use my credit card to make any purchases that I want. Last week, my boyfriend out of nowhere asked for my credit card. I asked why since I'm the one who handles payments and supermarket trips. He told me he wanted to buy some food and I agreed to let him take it but told him to return it later. He got back later and when I asked about my credit card

he was like, what credit card. I thought he was joking so I told him to just give it back. He said that he would just keep it with him. I asked why, and he said so he could start handling paying for stuff on my behalf. I felt uncomfortable with this, so I said that I would rather not burden him with this stuff, and I asked him to hand over the credit card. He refused and said that he'll just keep it since it doesn't have that much money anyways. I was livid! I tried to argue, but he told me just trust me, and to let him keep it, and he swore that he wouldn't spend a penny from it. Next morning, I went ahead and canceled the credit card, then registered a new one. He must have tried to use it,

because he called, and he was confused asking why the credit card wasn't valid anymore. I told him it's because I canceled it and registered a new one. He lost it and started scolding me, saying that he couldn't believe I had this level of petty and kept on talking about how I don't trust him with my finances, and how financially abusive I've become lately, but I just hung up on him. The argument continued at home and he called me paranoid and unreasonable. Then he started cold-childrening me and soaking about it for days. I do feel like I heard his feelings and I showed an amount of distrust towards him.

Am I the butthole for canceling the credit card? Okay Opie, so first of all, you being distrustful of him was completely justified because this whole, oh don't worry sweetie, I'll just hold on to the credit card for you, you know, to keep it safe. I mean, I don't want to spend any money on it, even though that's literally the only thing you can do with the credit card, but it's really important to me that I hold on to it. Like, yeah, that's just not trustworthy.

Who believes that, honestly. Then on top of that, your suspicions were literally proven to be true. So, not only was he acting distrustworthy, he was literally untrustworthy. He said that he wasn't going to spend a penny from it, and then literally the next day, he tried to buy something with it. Opie, now that you've canceled your credit card, maybe it's time to cancel your boyfriend next. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your boyfriend two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for sneaking out of the restaurant? After my fiance told me to pay for his and his

friends meal, I'm a 33 year old woman and I've been engaged in my fiance who's 37 for five months. We don't share our finances because that's something that he wants. I recently got a raise. Now, I earn 30% more than he does, and I notice that he's been using this to ask me to pay for him and his friends. Whenever I say no or why should I pay for this, he'd respond with the 30% that's why. He acts as if the 30% is unfair or that I'm not deserving of it. Several times, he's tricked me to pay for his and his friends' meals by asking me publicly. Like he'll say that I'm too nice to say no. I hate confrontation, especially when we're in public places like restaurants, so I just

grin and pay. Last Tuesday, he asked me to join him and his buddies for dinner. I told him from the start that I was not paying for their food and he shouldn he asked me to join him and his buddies for dinner. I told him from the start that I was not paying for their food and he shouldn't expect me to. He said that he got this and no worries. We got to the restaurant, met his friends and ordered food. In the middle of the meal, he leaned in and whispered that I would be paying for everything that he and his friends ordered. I got so mad and I whispered back no, but he probably relied on me not causing a scene in public in front of his friends. He said,

you have enough money, you could pay for everyone's food, 30% remember? I was fuming inside. Instead of reacting negatively and losing my temper, I waited for the bills to arrive. I paid for my part of the bill, then I excused myself to the restroom. Then I snuck out from there, got into my car, and went home. I started getting phone calls from my fiance, then text asking where I was. I texted back saying that I didn't appreciate how he put me in the situation, and basically tricked me into paying for his and his friend's food. I told him that I went home and then stopped replying. An hour later he came home and started yelling at me, calling me selfish,

irrational, a cheap skate, and childish for sneaking out like that and leaving him stuck with the bill that he couldn't pay for. He had to call his brother for help. We had a loud argument and then he walked out. His friends didn't speak to me about this, but he told me that they're disappointed in my behavior and they're telling him to take time to reflect on the type of woman that he's going to be married to. Am I the butthole for what I did? Is what he's expecting for me fair or justified? Okay, so first things first. I kind of doubt that your fiance's friends said that about you, that they're disappointed in your behavior and they want him to reflect, ehm, yeah I'm not really buying it. My guess, OP, is that your fiance is trying to use his friends to guilt you into paying

for his meal. But um, honestly, OP, I kind of feel like it's good advice. Maybe you should do some reflecting on the type of person you're going to be married to, because what is going on with your fiance? This is textbook financial abuse. He's intentionally manipulating you into giving him money. Then when you refuse he calls you irrational and a bunch of other stupid names that have no bearing on the situation. I think this can be really simply boil down to the sentence, your fiance doesn't respect your boundaries. So do you want a husband that

doesn't respect your boundaries either? Am I the butthole for calling a guy a nepotism hire after he said that I'm a diversity hire? So I'm a 22 year old woman and I recently started working for a prestigious company that is unfortunately very male dominated. On my team, for example, I'm the only woman. There's Asian guys and one black guy, but it's mostly white dudes. And this is actually one of the most diverse teams. As a woman of color, it's been a challenging and sometimes isolating experience. Anyway, one of my co-workers, Michael, is the nephew of the CFO and we started our roles at the same time.

He's a white guy, an entitled douchebag, and incompetent, in my opinion. For whatever reason, he's disliked me from the very start, often trying to start arguments, being overly competitive, etc. It was difficult dealing with this because I didn't want to lose my job. Anyway, last month an incident occurred where my boss chose me over Michael to accompany him to an industry event. This really upset Michael because he assumed that he would be invited. He's been acting like an even bigger douchebag ever

since. This all came to a head when I got lunch with my female colleague from another department. Michael insisted on joining us. He started questioning me about the event, but I wasn't interested in discussing that. Then, he accused me of manipulating people to get ahead, which is ridiculous, and that our boss obviously wants to show off his exotic diversity higher. By the way, I'm multiracial and come from a poor and dysfunctional background. Michael joked that I ticked a lot of boxes. We argued back and forth until he once again said that I'm an obvious diversity higher Bimbo.

I was extremely pissed and told him that he's a privileged nepotism baby who literally gets things handed over to him. I said that he'll forever bask in mediocrity, blissfully unaware of how utterly incompetent he truly is. I also told him that nobody will ever say that to his face, so he should be happy that I'm doing him a favor. I said this knowing full well that I would lose my job in the worst case scenario. Our colleague gasped and told me to apologize to Michael who looked taken it back and confused

more than anything. However, I didn't apologize and just left. Later on, Michael told me that what I said was effed up and crossed the line. He claimed that he didn't apologize and just left. Later on, Michael told me that what I said was effed up and crossed the line. He claimed that he didn't insult me and that I took it way too far. Then he said that I'm lucky that he's choosing not to report this. Am I the butthole in this situation?

Opie, Michael's not reporting it because he's too embarrassed to. Because he knows that if he reports you, then you can report him, and unfortunately for Michael, you've got a witness. I mean, like, yeah, what you said was pretty harsh, but honestly, you're just giving him the exact same energy he was giving you.

I don't see the problem here. Poor little entitled rich boy got his feelings hurt because everyone isn't running around sucking his dick because his uncle's the CFO. Whatever man. Opie, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Captain Winnie pants over there gets 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow

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