rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole My Parents Can't Wait for Me to Die

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

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Welcome to our slash of my the butthole where op's parents are excitedly counting down the day when op dies. Am I the butthole for wanting to cash out my life insurance policy so I can spend the last 9-12 months of my life in comfort but my parents the beneficiaries are threatening to disown me so yeah I'm a 28 year old man and I have a terminal medical condition that I won't go into too much detail about. I didn't have the best health insurance or doctors, so I found out that I had a big problem pretty much when it was too late. Just about the only thing that I had a value, other than some meager savings, an even smaller 401k and my car was a life insurance policy that I got when I was 18. It was a relatively small amount yearly and it had awesome terms, so why not? I always thought that I could swap it over

to my future wife or kids, but that's not happening now. So I haven't been able to work now for about two months, but I won't be eligible for hospice care until probably a few weeks before the end. The actual policy itself was for an eye-watering amount of money if I died before a certain age, which unfortunately is what's going to happen. I've been living at home with my parents when I'm free since I stopped working, which is good of them. We haven't had the best relationship growing up. They pretty much only did the minimum required by law in terms of how they raised me. No complaints, but they're not parents of the year material. A lot of this was due to finances.

I've been putting money towards food and utilities, but I'm not paying the rent that they're paying. Because that was a cost that they were covering by themselves, and me being here has an increase their rent. Anyways, I've been investigating cash-outs, both through the company and investor groups that will give you a bit more in exchange for being named a beneficiary. I'll probably stick with the company offer to get things moving faster. There's going to be some taxation issues, but the end result will be that my parents will essentially get an amount that will

cover my funeral and possibly a really good secondhand car. I estimate that the amount that I'll get will be enough for me to rent a nice condo near the beach, nice meals, made service, and some great experiences while I'm still well enough and some in-home care nursing towards the end. My parents have basically said that my life insurance policy will set them up for life, that it will allow them to buy a house, invest,

and probably even retire early. They're in their 50s, and without this, they're probably going to have to work until they die. They're telling me that they've made a lot of sacrifices to have me move into their house until I go to hospice, but I really don't see what that is, other than the inconvenience of three adults in a two-bit room house. One of them was going to give up work towards the end to provide home care until I qualified for hospice. But if I cash out, that'll mean they can keep working. I get that it would be the noble thing to help my parents out, but I don't want to.

OP, I honestly can't believe that your parents talk to you right in front of your face about what they're going to do with the money that they get when you die. That is incredibly disrespectful. And on top of that, these are your parents. And they're like, oh, when you die will be so much better off. We can buy a house, we can buy a car, we can retire, we can stop working. How sick are you again? Are you feeling down?

I'm just wondering how much longer do we have to wait? I mean, I mean how much longer do we have with you sweetie? Your parents are treating you like some kind of death ATM. It's disgusting, reprehensible behavior. Opie, please, please, please, cash out, get a condo by the beach, do whatever the hell you want because these are the last days of your life. Spin those days doing what you want to do, not suffering and saving up money so that your terrible parents can retire early. Screw your parents OP.

Also, for clarity, OP clarifies that if he cashes out, he gets a 6 figure payout. But if he doesn't cash out, then that's a seven figure payout that goes to beneficiaries. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your terrible parents five out of five buttholes. And like, what makes this so bad? What is so frustrating? Is it's OP's money? OP bought this thing. It wasn't like they set up the life insurance forum instead. I mean, even if they had, he would still be completely justified in cashing out if he wanted to. But it's his money. He invested it. It's paying off, you know, grimly, unfortunately, it's paying off. But it's his money, man. If he wants to cash it out or give it to people or donate it, then that's completely his prerogative.

And considering that his life got screwed over by a really unfortunate medical condition, then why shouldn't he have a last hurrah? It's his last opportunity to enjoy life, to experience happiness. Shouldn't he have that opportunity? Am I the butthole for leaving after being told to be quiet at dinner? The title probably makes it sound worse than it was, but I'm still conflicted. I'm a 21 year old woman and my boyfriend is 24. We've been dating for almost a year and he invited me to dinner with his family. His mom, dad, and 16-year-old brother.

I'd never met them prior to that. The only thing I know about them is that they're conservative and Christians, but lovely people. And they were. I got along really well with them before dinner. They were lovely and talkative. When it was time for dinner,

my boyfriend's dad wanted to pray. After praying, he said something along the lines of, Let us dig in and let the food keep us quiet. This is a pretty popular saying in our country, mostly told to young children in school. My understanding of this has always been that you shouldn't speak with food in your mouth or be extremely loud at the table. I wouldn't say that it's a cultural thing though. I dug in and took a bite. It was fish soup and it was absolutely delicious. And, you know, like a good guest,

I wanted to compliment the cook, so I said, this is delicious. Is it saffron? A perfect autumn soup. My boyfriend's brother looked surprised. My boyfriend's father hushed me big time. A really aggressive shh with a finger over his lips. And then he said again, let the food keep us quiet.

I apologize because I thought that I had accidentally spoken with food in my mouth or something, but a few minutes passed and nobody said a word. Super awkward and weird, especially since they had been so talkative before. My boyfriend was also unusually quiet. After a few minutes of silence, I was too weirded out and asked about their day and how nice it was that they invited me there. And his mother did the hush thing. Shhh! Let the food keep us quiet. So awkward. I think this is when it clicked for me.

They wanted no speaking at all at the dinner table. Let the food keep us quiet, really quiet. But this was a super awkward situation, and I couldn't deal with that. Imagine sitting at a table with five people. Everyone eating soup, looking dead serious. So I laughed. It just slipped out.

I ended up being told off by my boyfriend's parents that I was being disrespectful, and if I didn't respect how their household worked, then I could eat alone in the kitchen. We had been eating in like a separate dining room. So I thanked them for the food and left to the hotel that me and my boyfriend were staying at. My boyfriend later told me that this was a butthole move, that I should have just kept quiet or eat alone in the kitchen. I understand that they have family traditions and rules, but it was just so weird.

I just couldn't take it anymore. Was I being the butthole though? Uh, this story is weird. Do these people just not understand what a metaphor is? So when they hear someone say, let us dig in and let the food keep us quiet. They think people are serious, like literally. They're like, Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy. He doesn't understand metaphor.

So I'm sorry. Like what? You say, wow, it's really raining cats and dogs out there and they rush to the window? Raining cats and dogs? How is that possible? You say, good luck, break a leg, and they're like, excuse me? You want me to break my leg? I don't know, OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes because I think that given

the situation, you did pretty much as well as you could have done. Because like, yeah, you weren't respecting their traditions, but no one really warned you about what that tradition was in the first place. Your boyfriend could have at least given you the heads up and then like they gave you the offer to eat somewhere else and you took it so like you know we're kind of just following their orders. OP you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. The family gets 0 out of 5 buttholes as well because they're not exactly rude, just weird. I think I will give your boyfriend one out of five buttholes because he really should have given you a heads up here. Am I the butthole for lying to the people that I was babysitting for to get them to come

home? I'm 15 years old, and I babysit to make money. I took a first aid course and a babysitting course. Last weekend, one of my little sister's classmates' parents had a wedding to go to an asked if I would babysit. I asked how late they would need me, and if I should pack an overnight bag if they were going to be staying out all night. They said that they'd be home by midnight, so I checked with my dad if that was okay because he's my ride. He doesn't want me alone in a car with adults that he doesn't know.

So my dad was there to pick me up at 11.50pm. The kids were all asleep and I was watching TV. I had texted them at 11 o'clock to double check that they would be in on time, and the mom texted me back, yes. At 12.30, they still aren't there. I texted again, no answer. I called my dad and he is pissed, not at me, at them. At 1am, I called them, no answer. My dad went to get a coffee at home and came back.

He's all calm, which is not good. He's ready to blow. I texted them every 15 minutes and got no response. At 2.20am I have an idea. I texted them that someone tried to break into their garage, but that the alarm scared them away. They were home drunk in an Uber in 15 minutes. My dad made them pay me for my extra time before we left.

He told me that I'm not allowed to babysit for them again unless I charge them for an overnight stay. Yesterday at school, I saw the mom when I was picking up my sisters after school. She gave me a flax for scaring her and her husband. That they had checked their security cameras and no one tried to break in. I said, sorry, the alarm went off so I called you. She called me a liar, which is fair. But, I don't feel bad about what I did.

They lied to me first. My mom says that I should have just sucked it up. But my dad says that they broke our deal. I kind of feel bad for tricking them in a coming home from their party, but they could have just told me that it was an overnight stay or texted me that they were going to be late. In the past, when that happened,

my dad just brought me an overnight bag. Yeah, OP, your dad is a hundred percent correct here. Not only did they lie to you, but we know that they intentionally ignored your text messages. How do we know this? Because the first time you sent a text message that was actually dangerous, suddenly they respond. And like it's super inconsiderate because you're waiting them and your dad is waiting on

them. I am completely on your dad's side here. OP, you and your dad both could zero out of five buttles. Your irresponsible clients get 1.5 out of five buttles. If I were you OP, I would just fire them as clients. They're not worth the trouble. Am I the butthole for not giving 24 hours notice to my daughter's roommates before dropping something off? I'm a mother to a 20-year-old daughter. She's a junior in college and attends school in the same city that we live in. My daughter and two of her friends live in a condominium that I own. Her friends pay below market rent while my daughter pays nothing. I inherited the condo from my parents and it was their intent that I would pass ownership

of the condo to my daughter when she was mature enough to own her own place. My daughter, husband and I all agree that she'll take over ownership of the condo once she's out of school and financially independent. Earlier this week, my daughter mentioned that she had run out of some household supplies and she would have to set aside some time to go shopping before the end of the week. My daughter's schedule has been especially rough lately because she picked up extra shifts at her part-time job due to short staffing. Wanting to be helpful, I offered to pick up the supplies for her and drop them off at her place. She accepted. The next day, I picked up the supplies and took them to the condo. I knew my daughter was in class at that time, so I knocked, and when

no one answered, I let myself in. The front door opens into the living room. When I entered, I found one of my daughter's roommates being intimate with a man on the living room couch. I was obviously mortified, so I left the supplies at the door and left right away. I didn't say anything to my daughter about what happened because I didn't want to put her in an uncomfortable position but I did let her know that I dropped off the supplies. On Friday, I got an angry email from the roommates' parents. I'm not sure exactly what they were told, but their email lambasted me for invading their daughter's privacy. They said that what I did was wrong because I'm their daughter's landlord and I entered

the condo without giving 24 hours notice. They're threatening to take legal action if I do it again. I'm vaguely familiar with this requirement, but I didn't think that it was applicable here. Was I the butthole in this situation? I feel bad about what happened, but I also don't feel like I was out of line. Okay, so normally I would say this all boils down to the contract because if you have a landlord contract that says that you have to give 24 hours notice, then I would say that applies here. However, the thing is in this story, you're not really

coming as a landlord. You're coming as your daughter's mother, right? If you would come to, I don't know, check the toilet or to replace a water heater, then yeah, 24 hour notice is necessary. But in this case, dropping off supplies for your daughter, nah, I think you're probably in the clear here, right? Even if your lease did require a 24 hour notice, I feel like this is like an unofficial exception

that should apply. Oh, there's an update. I called in text in my daughter to discuss the situation. She can't speak to me right now because her roommates are fighting and she's mediating, but she's aware of the situation and sent me a quick explanation. My daughter had notified all the roommates that I was coming over, but roommate one apparently forgot. The man she was with was the second roommate's boyfriend. She freaked out and contacted her parents because she was scared that I would spill the beans. I still don't know exactly what she told her parents, but I assume that it wasn't the full story.

I had never met Rumi2's boyfriend, so I didn't know that it was him. Rumi1 and Rumi2 are fighting now, and needless to say, Rumei 1 will be moving out. Aha, mystery solved. In that case, OP, you are completely in the clear. I think you were kind of in the clear before, but now you're especially in the clear. My guess is that the Rumei that you walked in on probably told her parents that you had like walked into her bedroom or like walked into her bathroom or something super, super private that would have been super inappropriate. Anyways OP, I'm giving you an easy zero out of five buttholes.

The roommate gets three out of five buttholes for being a lying cheater. Oh, not cheater because she wasn't cheating. The boy from the cheating. What do you call the person who initiates a cheating? Is it Harlet? Is that the word? No, a Harlet's a prostitute. Man, what is there's got to be a word for this? Mistress Bull? That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this

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