rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Firing My Cheating Dad?

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole OP works at his father's company. His mother has an affair with one of the employees at that company. Then, OP's father dies and leaves the entire company to OP. OP's mother then marries the guy she had an affair with, which means that OP's employee is also his step-father. His stepdad starts acting like he owns the place, breaking rules and bossing other people around. OP decides that enough is enough and fires his own stepdad. This pisses off both his mom and his stepfather, leaving him to wonder if he's the butthole here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Today's subreddit is R-Slash and My The Butthole, where OP fires his stepdad. Am I the butthole for firing my stepfather? My dad owns a successful business, but he passed away, and I, a 25-year-old guy, inherited his business. The thing is, my stepfather now works with that business. My mother had an affair, and cheated on my dad with his employee, my stepdad. My stepfather has now been acting like the boss, and trying to get away with things that would get anyone else fired.

He wouldn't do his work, and he would either come in late or not show up at all, and I'm tired of dealing with him. Every time I try to talk to him about it, he just brushes me off. I'm tired of this blatant disrespect and everyone at the company is as well. Well, yesterday, he tried to fire one of my employees when he was in no position to do so. So, I handed him a notice of termination personally and told him that he had to go. He's mad at me and so is my mother and she told me that she was a shame that I was firing such a loyal employee. I almost laughed at that one. I'm with you OP. Your mother who cheated on your father once

to talk to you about loyalty? Yeah, get a clue, lady. OP, if I were in your shoes and I inherited your dad's business, I would have fired that guy immediately. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your stepfather and your mom three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for inviting my sister to live with me across the country after my parents tried to charge her rent at the age of 18.

My sister is 18 and she's finishing her senior year of high school. She's finishing remotely. My parents decided to start charging her $550 rent plus utilities on her 18th birthday. Around this time, I went from working at home to returning to the office. I offered my sister my spare room that I'd been using as an office so she could live there for free, but she was too proud to accept it for free, so she offered $200 a month. I'm not telling her this since I want to give it to her as a gift, but I'm going to put the money that she gives me in a savings account for paying for her trade school classes

after high school. Anyway, my parents got really mad that I'm moving their high school daughter across the country from New York to Colorado before she's even finished high school. That if she lives in Colorado with me, she's not gonna be responsible enough to actually go to trade school like she was planning to. They said that I would be ruining her future. They were also worried the school would report them because they were living in a different state from their kid. I told them that if they wanted to treat their daughter like she's all grown up and charge her rent and utilities, then why are they getting mad when she's making

adult decisions on her own? My parents are really mad at me and say that I'm ruining her life. Am I the butto for letting my sister move in with me even though she's still in high school? Opie, come on seriously, you're ruining your sister's life, give me a break. You're literally doing the exact opposite, you're helping to give her a leg up. Also, I'm with you, which is it, are they treating her like a kid or like an adult? If they're treating her like an adult, then they can charge rent, but then not be surprised when she decides to leave. But if they want to treat her like a kid and keep her the house, then that means you can't charge kids rent. That's just how parents are, aren't they? They tell you to act like an adult when they want you to be responsible, but then they

say you're just a kid when they want to control you. Am I the butthole for walking out of a practice after my substitute swim coach told me that I couldn't? For some background, I'm a 15 year old girl, and I've been swimming competitively for a club team for a little over seven years, which means I know every coach very well. And I've been coached by almost all of them at some point. I also work for the swim team and I teach swimming lessons to the younger kids. This is an official job, I have a work permit and I receive consistent pay for teaching

these lessons. I teach swim lessons for the team twice a week. The lessons are scheduled to start 10 minutes after my practice gets done, so if I'm coaching, I typically get a practice about 5 to 10 minutes early so I can shower and change. My supervisor likes us to be a few minutes early, and I also like to look presentable at least to be a good role model to the younger kids. The other day, my current coach wasn't able to make our practice, which doesn't happen very often.

Instead of cancelling practice, another one of the coaches, a 50-year-old woman, took his place. We all knew this coach very well, and I personally had her as a coach for 3 and a half years. She had a lot of experience and was constantly going to conventions to learn how to coach her swimmers better. My typical coach is very aware that I leave early on these days as it's been going on for several weeks. When I saw that we had the other coach for the day, I immediately went up to her and told

her that I would be getting out early. She replied by saying that 10 minutes was plenty of time. I tried to explain that my job started in 10 minutes and I had to be there early, but she insisted that 10 minutes was enough. At this point in my life, saving up for a car, I prioritized my job over athletics. And I decided that I would be leaving when I needed to, no matter what she said. About 10 minutes early, I got out of the pool and put my equipment away. The substitute coach stopped me and told me to get back in the pool and finish the current set,

which if I had done what had made me extra laid because the practice was running late already. I repeated myself, telling her that I had to leave to get ready for work, and she told me to put my cap back on. I then told her how I admired her as a coach. She was always learning new coaching techniques, and she had so much experience and knowledge, but I had to leave. I calmly stated that my job isn't optional, and that my supervisor expected me to be there early. Even after all this, she was still upset and told me to get back in the pool. I firmly said that I was not asking for permission, I was telling her that I was leaving, and then I walked out. She was gone by the time I returned to the pool deck to begin work. I've never stood up to an

adult like that, and I'm wondering if I made the right decision. I don't want her to tell my normal coach and have him be upset either. Am I the butthole? Nah OP, it's swimming practice. It's not like it was an official meter or anything. You had every right to leave early, and to be honest, she was being super unreasonable. In fact, I would say that you were handling that situation like an adult, and she was handling that situation like a kid. OP, one thing that you'll discover in life as you get older is that some people out there

when they get a tiny bit of authority just completely let it go to their head. For her, this wasn't about you finishing your practice. This was about her giving you an order and her getting pissed off because you didn't listen to her. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving her 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my pregnant daughter-in-law that the world doesn't revolve around her? I'm a 54-year-old woman. My husband Rick and I, who's 57, have three kids. The

oldest Kurt, who's 29, is Mary DeBecky, who's 28. She's normally a good daughter-in-law, and I try to be a good mother-in-law. We've had a pretty good relationship through the years. Issues have only popped up in the last few months since they're now expecting a baby November. It's relevant to the situation that Kurt is technically my stepson, but I'm the only mother he's ever known. Becky has become increasingly difficult. She expects everyone to bend to her will because I'm pregnant, or because I'm the mother of your grandchild. Recently, Rick and Kurt were talking about our finances, and Becky started making suggestions

about us saving money for our grandbaby. That same day, I made lunch for everyone. I cooked a separate dish for Becky because she said she didn't want to eat cold cuts. She made a few comments about the cold cuts that she didn't even have to eat. She also made a few comments about the wine that we served. She doesn't want Kurt to drink while she's pregnant, but he didn't agree to this. My husband and I have a second home that we just refinished. This home has three floors, and it's been in the works for years, so our kids have been very excited to go all summer.

We're all set to go for our first trip in July. The issue that came up is that my two other kids, Tim and Cassie, planned to have fun on this trip. They went to invite their friends over to the house, go to an amusement park, go scuba diving, etc. When Becky and Kurt were over last weekend, my other two kids were talking about their plans, and Becky got upset because she was pregnant. She said this trip shouldn't be all about drinking. about their plans, and Becky got upset because she was pregnant. She said this trip shouldn't be all about drinking. It's not, and that we should ban alcohol from the house.

She also said that next year's trip would not include any get-togethers with friends, because she'll have a small child. Tim told her not to worry about it because she just didn't have to go on all the events like scuba diving with them. Becky called me, and said that she was upset about the plans. She said that we need to respect the fact that she can't participate in all the activities that we're planning. I told her there are plenty of things she can participate in and not to worry about what the other kids are doing. She then said that she really thinks that I should limit the drinking and partying. I informed her that I have

no intention of limiting anything. Since this is everyone else's vacation as well, and all the drinking can take place on the back deck. I told her she could have the bedroom upstairs in their friend so she wouldn't be bothered by the noise, but she was mad that she would have to walk up all the steps. She also accused me of caring less because Kurt isn't my son, which is just not true. At the end of our conversation, I told her that she could get her rental to have her own space, but she accused me of trying to exclude her. I reminded her that she spent many nights out drinking when she was there age, and that

the world can't revolve around her just because she's pregnant. Am I the butthole? Opie, let me get this straight. This is your house that you and your husband paid for, and you're inviting your family to a FREE vacation. And this woman is trying to tell YOU how to handle your vacation? No, OP. YOUR HOUSE, YOUR RULES.

Just because she can't do fun things doesn't mean everyone else can't do fun things either. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Becky 2 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Becky 2 out of 5 buttholes. O.P., be sure to tell Becky that I look forward to reading stories about her on R-Slashing title parents. Holt Renfrew is sharing joy for the holidays with gifts for everyone on your list, and maybe even a special treat for yourself, too. Discover the new collection for Burberry by Daniel Lee. Add some ambiance with Louis V. Home.

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Am I the butthole for refusing to go to my brother's wedding if my son can't go? My 30-year-old brother is soon to be wife. Tara, who's 26, went to the same high school as me. She was one great below me, but we all knew each other. I'm a 27 year old guy, and I have a 5 year old son with an ex girlfriend who also went to the school with us. My ex and my brother's girlfriend hated each other. They were on the same drill team, and I don't know, they were jealous

of each other or something. It was some old petty BS high school rivalry. Then I guess things got worse because they were both crushing on the same guy and the guy picked my ex after he rejected Tara. I hooked up with my ex in college. It was a brief thing, we broke up right before my son Jason was born. He's with me full time now and my ex is in the picture sometimes but not that much. I found out over a year ago that my brother was in a relationship with Tara. And now they're engaged and gonna get married in November. I haven't been around Tara much because I'm busy with my own life. When invitations went out, my brother called me. He said that Tara didn't want my son Jason being at their wedding because

he's the son of my ex. For clarity, Tara has never even met my son before. She just doesn't like the idea of her sworn enemy son being at her wedding. I didn't think that he was serious because all that happened years ago and you know where adults now. My ex doesn't even in our lives so it's not like she'll be there. I kind of got mad at my brother that he'd be cool with his own nephew not being at his wedding. All of my other siblings are bringing their kids.

My brother pleaded me to go along with this because he wanted to be happy on their special day. So I said, you know what, fine. But if my son isn't allowed at the wedding, then I won't be going either. Now my brother is mad at me for turning this into a big deal because he wants his family there. But he's just caught between a rock and a hard place. My parents agreed that she's being ridiculous and are berating my brother. My other siblings think that I should have just agreed and not turned this whole thing into

a bigger drama. So I'm on the fence about how I handle things here. If it was a no kids wedding, then yeah, I'd get that it's their special day. But my son is the only one not allowed to be there, and I don't feel right excluding him from something that happened over 10 years ago. Am I the butthole? Am I the butthole for letting our kids play in the pool where a neighbor's kid died and for not getting rid of the pool? So in my husband and I were looking at houses, we found this great house with a pool in the backyard. Normally it would have been out of our price range, but this one was a great deal. The reason why was because one of the neighbor's kids had drowned in the pool last summer. I know that it's really morbid, but my husband and I discussed it and we decided

that we could look past it. I mean, normally, we could never afford a house like this. It was already big enough that our kids could finally have their own bedrooms. When we moved in, the pool was empty, and we didn't see the point in filling it, since at the time it was too cold out to go swimming anyway. Since it's getting hot out now, we decided to finally fill it last week. Our kids had a great time swimming, and we were having fun laughing and playing games. Later though, our husband was confronted by our neighbor, the one whose kid died, saying that the sounds of kids playing in the pool was traumatizing to his family, and that we were horrible for letting our kids play in

that pool after what happened. Since then, we've learned from an online post at several other people in the neighborhood similarly feel that we're being insensitive by letting our kids play in that pool. Many of them think that the right thing to do would have been to get rid of the pool. Even after considering all that, though, we don't want to get rid of our pool. We've never had a pool before, and our family is really enjoying it. Also OP points out that they have a fence surrounding the yard, and the child in question died during a swimming pool party. Alright OP, so first off, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes.

I think what you're doing is completely reasonable. While I definitely do sympathize with the neighbors's grief, I think that they're being a little bit ridiculous about this. If you're traumatized by living next to the pool where you're kid drowned, then don't live next to the pool where you're kid drowned. I get that moving is really expensive and not everyone can afford it and it's a really big deal. I totally get that.

But that being said, you can't expect your new neighbors to bend over backwards to accommodate your grief. Like I said, I sympathize with their grief, but I don't agree with their logic. So I'm giving the neighbors 0 out of 5 buttholes. That being said, they're just wrong about the situation. I think in actuality, the only buttholes here are all the other neighbors who are criticizing you, the new neighbors, for something that's completely out of your control. Am I the butthole for refusing to attend an apology dinner after my mother-in-law called me a bad mother at my son's funeral?

I lost my son to congenital heart disease, and he didn't survive the open heart surgery at the age of one year and six months. He was the greatest blessing I had in my life. Everyone kept telling me that things will get better with time. I know that no matter how much time goes by, I'm still gonna miss my baby and everything sweet about him. My mother and law and I were in constant conflict. Things that always been bad between us, but in those last months we reached our limit. She kept getting involved in my son's treatment and criticized every decision that I made,

claiming that I didn't know how to handle my son's illness. We went low contact, but she kept causing issues occasionally. My husband was torn between our son's illness and his mother's issues. When my son passed away, she came to the funeral and caused a scene by arguing with me, knowing that I had no energy for it. She used the fact that everyone was there so she could say that it was my fault that my son was born sick, and I didn't take care of him properly. That I didn't listen to her when she suggested other ways to treat his condition, and that I was the one who took the grandchild away from them and caused them

this heartache. She then loudly called me a bad mother. I had no idea how I kept my composure and kept standing. My mom and sisters responded by telling her to leave. My husband was just sitting down crying. She then went on to tell everyone that I kicked her out of the funeral as a way to further hurt her. And she lied, saying that I convinced my husband to ban her from visiting her grandson's grave.

My husband later sent his side of the family an email talking about his mother's behavior during and after her son's illness, and telling them that he would no longer be seeing her. This led to his side of the family criticizing us, saying that his mother was just trying to do what was best for her grandbaby. And they called us selfish for assuming that we were the only one struggling with this tragedy. We haven't seen my mother-in-law for one year and eight months. I'm now three months pregnant. The only person who knew was my sister-in-law, but word got out. A week later, I had family members saying that I was invited to a dinner hosted by my mother-in-law so she could apologize in front of the whole family and settle this issue before

the baby's born. They said that my mother-in-law was regretful and that she offered to financially provide for her grandbaby and that they wanted to see that happen. I refused, but surprisingly, my husband wants to go. His grandparents called me saying that I have a good heart and I'm capable of forgiving her. I told them that I will never be sitting at the same table with the person who called me a bad mother at my own child's funeral. I still remember that moment vividly to this very day. My sister said that this change of heart for my mother-in-law is probably for the new

baby. Maybe so, but I insisted that I'm not coming. They're saying that I'm making it hard for everyone to move on past this unresolved pain and I should really go. So a while ago I had someone message me and say, hey, R-slash, how come you almost never give out 5 out of 5 butthole scores? And the reason for that is for posts like these. Because if I just hand out 5 out of 5 buttholes to everyone who's kind of a jerk, then it won't have the same weight when I say this person deserves 5 out of 5 buttholes.

OP lost her one and only child, and this woman comes to the funeral to try to blame the mother for something that's completely out of her control? What an absolute disgusting excuse for a human being. And then afterward she just completely ignores you and permits the no contact, but once you get pregnant suddenly she wants to apologize. To me that message is clear. She doesn't care about you OP, she just wants access to the baby. Some of you may know that I have a newborn baby and even talking about this makes me a

little bit choked up. If someone came to me and said that it was my fault that my baby died because of something that wasn't even in my control, because of a birth defect, I would never speak to that human being for the rest of my fucking life. So O.P. you get zero out of five buttholes. I don't blame you. to that human being for the rest of my fucking life. podcast episodes every single day.