rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Getting an ENTIRE Family of Thieves Arrested?
Episode Date: April 10, 2021r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP gets his $2500 bicycle stolen by some spoiled teenager. Luckily, he's able to find that his bike is being sold on Facebook marketplace, so he goes to confront th...e teen. He's surprised to discover that the teenager's mom is there with the bike, trying to sell it. He calls the cops to get the teenager arrested, and later the teen's dad calls up OP for some good old-fashioned witness intimidation. Surprise! The father got arrested too! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash and My The Butthole, where OP gets a family of thieves arrested.
Am I the butthole forgetting a 15-year-old kid and his dad arrested on felony charges?
Early February, my bike was stolen from a cafe in broad daylight.
A friend told me they found my bike listed on Facebook Marketplace, and sure enough, there it was.
They'd stripped off the stickers, saddlebags, lights, basically anything that was easy to remove
and identifiable, but I could still tell that it was mine. I messaged them asking if they still
have the bike, and they say yes. We agreed
to meet up at a truck stop with a friend who tipped me off about the listing to take a
look at the bike. When I get there, I find a woman with my bike. I ask her about it and
she says that she has no idea about anything about the bike, claiming she's selling it
for her son. After a few minutes of stringing her along and pretending to inspect the bike,
I say, oh yeah, this is the bike that your son stole from that restaurant.
I'll be taking it back now.
She screams that we're robbing her and tries to create a scene,
and then my friend calls the cops for real.
The cops arrive.
They question both parties, but she avoids responsibility by feigning ignorance.
However, her son is arrested for grand larceny.
Two days later, the kid's father calls me.
My number was listed publicly on Facebook.
He tries to talk me into dropping the charges because this would ruin his life and kids make
mistakes.
I told him the situation is no longer in my control, which was a lie, and then he tried
to convince me to put in a good word for his son in hopes for leniency.
I shut him down immediately and he proceeds to get angry and yell and threaten me,
but he was oblivious to the fact that I was recording that conversation.
I turn the recording over to the police and then the dad is arrested for intimidating a witness.
The next day, the mother calls me from a block number and tries to talk to me.
But as soon as she identified herself, I told her to f off and not call me again, or I'll
be reporting her to the cops as well, and she hung up.
She then contacted my wife by a Facebook, sending a massive wall of text, claiming that
I'd ruined her son's life over nothing, and how her and
her kids were going to be out on the street because they relied on her husband's income.
My wife is now upset in things that I took the situation too far, as do most people that
I've told about this, but I disagree.
I don't think that my actions were unreasonable.
This isn't some little kid making a mistake because they don't know the difference between
right and wrong.
This is a teenager who stole something because he's a little bastard, and a family that
not only didn't make the kid do the right thing, but willfully participate in concealing
and trying to profit off their child's criminal behavior.
They are awful people, and I don't feel any remorse for giving awful people what they
deserve.
Then beneath that, OP adds a lot of clarifying detail and an update. First off, his number is on Facebook because his Facebook account
is associated with his business. Second, yes, stealing a bike does qualify for Grand
Larceny because it was a $2,500 bike. In OP state, $500 bucks is a cutoff between misdemeanor
and felony. Down in the comments, I agree with the user, no garden fairies.
Nope, it's a family of thieves.
Mom was participating, dad was participating.
Screw them, not the buttle.
Yeah, I almost have to wonder if the parents
are actively encouraging it
because if a parent steals a bike, they're in big trouble.
If a kid steals a bike, then they're only
in a little bit of trouble.
Also, stealing a bike is bad enough as it is, but actively calling up a witness and intimidating
them is a major crime.
I just looked it up, and witness intimidation is punishable by up to 20 years in prison
and a fine of $250,000.
Now granted, the father probably won't get that much of a penalty because I imagine
to get 20 years, you have to do some pretty major witness intimidation.
But still, witness testimony is a cornerstone of the American Judicial System and it has
to be protected.
OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving that whole family 3.5 out of 5 buttholes.
Am I the butthole for not going to my mom's birthday party after
learning that her husband got rid of my cat? I'm a 29 year old guy, and back when I was
14 years old my mom got remarried. At the time, my sister was 12 years old and my brother
was 9 years old. From the beginning, none of us liked mom's new husband, Ben, and we
didn't consider him our stepdad. It was obvious that he didn't like us either.
He literally divided our fridge between stuff that was ours and what was his.
We had separate milk, cereal, eggs, soda, etc.
Everything he paid for we were not allowed to touch.
It was weird, but whatever, our mom bought us the things we needed.
Ben was super controlling too. He always told us that our friends weren't allowed in his house, even though that he's the one
who moved in with us, and even if my mom said that it was okay. We weren't allowed to sit on
couches, so we always sat on the living room floor, and he expected us to be silent in the house 24-7,
and he never let us go outside. I was a stubborn little kid, so I butted heads within
the most, and my mom played mediator between us. Even now that we're older, we still
dislike him, and we only tolerate Ben for our mom's sake. My brother in particular hates
him, and sometimes they have screaming matches. Last month when we met up at their house,
things got out of hand with their argument, and my brother revealed that he knows that Ben was the one who got rid of my cat when he went missing.
This caught me off guard, but I got on Ben's case and told him to tell me the truth.
And it was true after all.
My brother saw Ben with my cat in his car driving off once.
Ben confessed that he was tired of all the cat hairs and my cat roaming around everywhere,
so he took my cat to a shelter an hour away.
I almost effing lost it right there and my mom tried to calm me down.
It turns out, my mom had always known that Ben was the one who took my cat.
She never told me, but according to her, she made sure that Ben knew how horrible that
was.
Then I just left and told them I am not speaking to them anymore and my mom shouldn't expect
me at a birthday which would be in a few days.
My heart was pounding and I cried when I got to my car.
I felt like I lost my cat all over again.
I had spent months looking for that cat and all the time he was in a shelter.
Who knows if he was even adopted because he was an older cat.
My brother apologized
for never telling me about the cat and for bringing it up in that way. Everyone else is
telling me to let go of it already because Ben made that mistake years ago. They said
that mom was extremely hurt that I didn't show up to her birthday and it was very immature
of me to be so angry over something that happened a long time ago. I spoke to her and
she apologized for what happened back then, but she said that didn't make her right for
me to shut them out on an important day. I'm caught in the middle, and I'm still feeling
emotionally raw over this whole thing, and I'm not really sure if I was the butthole
for not going.
OP, to be honest, it's surprising to me that you're still talking to your parents at
all. Your mother brought an emotionally abusive man into her household. Your stepdad wouldn't let you sit on the furniture, he
wouldn't let you go outside, and he stole your cat. What an absolute monster! Your stepdad
sounds awful, and if you ask me, your mom is just as responsible as your stepdad is for
all of this. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your parents four out of five buttholes.
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Am I the butthole for not going to Easter
because I'm tired of every family thing
being about the kids?
I'm 26 years old, have two kids,
and four of my five sisters have kids also
with the exception of Serena,
who's more of the travel the world with a napsat kind of gal.
I love my family, but every single family outing, get together, dinner, lunch, everything
has to be family friendly and kid centric.
I can never get my sisters other than Serena when she's even in town, to go to a movie,
have lunch, sit and chat without it all being about the kids.
Even if the kids are having playtime with each other and the adults are sitting around
drinking coffee, the conversations are always about the kids.
And kids are called over to talk to us, etc.
Pre-COVID, I asked my sister Julie to come with me to get her nails done and just have
some us time.
She changed her mind last minute and said that she was bringing her daughter as a bonding activity. We do nothing but bonding activities. And the same thing has happened
time and again. Shopping? The kids need to come. Taking a hike? Let's bring everyone.
I expressed my frustration and she actually like I was being super out of line. She acted
shocked and went on about how she can't imagine
doing things without her mini-me and that it was weird.
It became this whole, are you okay?
Are you sure?
Are you depressed?
Type of thing.
Our Zoom family meetings are always about the kids
with no adult time.
So when we were talking about getting together for Easter,
I thought, hey, maybe the one I catch up. I asked a her a planning call. Do you think we can maybe just have some time for the
adults where the kids are playing so we can all catch up? My mom and sister acted like
this was the most ridiculous thing that I could ask.
Mom asked, are you okay? And I can't imagine wanting to spend time with my family and
exclude you girls from any part of it. That's not normal. I said that I really can't sit through another kid's center get together, and that if we
aren't going to at least do something and sit and have cake and coffee together and catch
up, just the family then count me out.
Well, I just sent my kids over to their place, and I ended up staying home and having a great
time with just me and Serena. Serena says that she understands how I feel and she stands beside me because they exclude her as well
since she doesn't have any kids
and she's made it clear that she never will.
Of course, she and I are being talked down to
and told the world but holes to treat family like that.
That we all should have been together as family
and that it's time to grow up and accept
that it'll never just be the sisters again.
I cried about that.
Am I really wrong here?
Is this normal and I just have to accept that I'm never seeing my other sisters one-on-one
without their kids being the focus of everything?
And then OP clarifies, I did not ask for a kid-free Easter at all.
All I asked for was some time for the adults to drink coffee and catch up with each other
while the kids were playing.
Not OP, I think you're being completely reasonable here.
Sure, it is important to be a parent, but it's also important to just have adult time
to yourself.
If you ask me, you're not the one being weird here, they're the ones being weird.
I don't exactly begrudge them for obsessing over their kids, because that's the choice
they want to make, then that's their right.
But it's completely unreasonable for them to expect you to make the same life
decisions that they made. Am I the butthole for telling my teenage daughter to stay with
her on because my older daughter didn't want her in the house? My wife and I have two
daughters, Laura who's 20 and Lily who's 15. Laura is studying at school, but she came
home for the weekend. Lily has just had her first breakup and it's hit her hard.
She's been crying in a room the past few days.
Unfortunately, Laura has a bit of a wind up personality and was tormenting her little sister
about the breakup which only upset Lily more.
Laura was saying things like the boyfriend left her for a prettier girl and saying that
she didn't blame him, etc.
Really horrible things.
We did tell Laura repeatedly to cut it out, but she didn't listen to the point that Lily
went to bed in tears.
Laura has eye problems.
She's been visually impaired since she was a baby.
Her current glasses prescription is negative 28 and she can't wear contacts.
We woke up this morning to screaming from Laura's room.
Laura had woken up and put her glasses on, but the lenses had been popped out.
Lily admitted to doing it and said that she threw the lenses out the window.
We did try to search for them outside, but they couldn't be found.
Laura was crying her eyes out and couldn't see anything at all. She does have a spare pair of glasses,
but since she only came home for a couple of days, she didn't bring them with her. To be fair, Lily regretted what she did as
soon as she saw how upset Laura was, but Laura didn't went Lily near her and begged
us to keep her away. My wife's sister lives nearby, and I asked Lily to go spend the day
there, because Laura was blinded and looking after her had to be our main concern.
I then got a call from my sister-in-law saying, how dare you throw out Lily in favor of that
spoiled bully.
But it's not about spoiling anyone.
Laura was blinded and terrified and was too scared to be in the same house as Lily.
It was right to ask Lily to leave until we get Laura back to her place where she had her
glasses.
I do get that it was harsh to ask Lily to leave, but what else could we do when our other
child was blind and crying in fear?
Okay OP, I'll do the good part first.
So in your defense, in that situation, yes you should watch over Laura.
She was basically blind and helpless and she did need your support.
Also, what Lily did to Laura kind of crossed a line and she deserved to be punished.
However, OP, what you seem to not understand about this story is that Laura deserves punishment
too.
Lily was going through heartbreak and Laura was tormenting her for basically no reason.
Did you stop it from happening?
No, I mean you tried to, but clearly you failed.
Did you punish Laura?
Also no.
And to make matters worse, Laura is an adult and a visitor in your home.
Lily, on the other hand, is a child who has nowhere else to go.
So if Laura's tormenting Lily, it's not like Lily can just go drive to her college
where she actually lives.
Lily had no choice but to just stay in your home and endure the torment that you were
allowing to happen.
O.P., you are a massive hypocrite in the situation who's clearly showing favoritism towards Laura
over Lily.
OP, I'm giving both you and Laura 3 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving Lily 1 out of 5
butthole.
Am I the butthole for not punishing my child after he corrected the teacher?
My 10 year old son had to watch Snoopy cartoons in class, during which Woodstock
eats a roast turkey. The teacher told the class that this is fictional and that birds
don't eat other birds. My son corrected her and said something along the lines of,
my uncle trains Balkans to hunt other birds at the airport to protect the airplanes. The
teacher got upset and said that he was disrespectful in talking back and sent him to the principal's office. I got called in and they explained the situation.
I said, well, was he right?
And the principal said, it doesn't matter, this was rude and you need to teach your son
to show some respect to authority.
And I told the principal, I'm not going to punish my son or make him apologize if he was
right.
Maybe your teacher should be better educated.
The principal looked a bit shocked and just told me to leave. Find by me really considering
this school. Wait, wait, wait. Your kid's school literally called a parent into the office
because your kid corrected an incorrect teacher? What a complete waste of your time OP.
Why on earth is wrong with your kid kids school that they prioritize obedience over education?
OP, it sounds like your kids teacher has a massive ego and I'm giving her 1.5 out of
5 buttholes.
Your kids principal is a complete idiot, I'm giving him 2 out of 5 buttholes.
I'm giving both you and your son 0 out of 5 buttholes.
Also, to be honest, that's a really cool fact that should be shared with the class.
So the plane that Chelsea Selenberger was flying that landed in the Hudson, that plane was
struck by birds, so a bunch of birds hit the plane engine, both of the engines, and they
went down and so he had to land that plane in the Hudson.
So like birds are like a really major threat to planes. So yeah,
your son's right. That is a thing that airports do. They will like train predator animals
that prey on birds to treat the airport as their hunting ground. That way other birds
will stay away from the airport so that planes can take off and land really safely without
having to worry about bird strikes. That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you like this content, check out my Patreon
where I publish extra episodes.
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