rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole for Kidnapping a Child?
Episode Date: March 13, 2022r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP is a new father who discovers that his wife has a terrible habit of leaving their newborn baby unattended in the car while she runs errands. He confronts her abo...ut this habit, and she promises to change her behavior. Later, he notices his wife's car at a gas station and stops to say hello. When he realizes that his wife left their child in her UNLOCKED car, he becomes enraged and takes the baby. If she refuses to protect their child, OP will show her the consequences of her carelessness. Go to ExpressVPN.com/slash to get 3 months free with a 1 year subscription. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to R-slash. Am I the butthole? Where OP kidnaps an infant? Am I the butthole for making my wife think that our son was missing?
My wife has a horrible habit that I discovered two months ago. We were ordering lunch on the subway app, and I told her to pick the location that has a drive-through.
That way, we don't have to go inside and take the baby out of the car just to clip him back inside a few minutes later.
She told me it's not a big deal to leave the baby in the car to run in and pick it up
really fast.
I had no idea she ever did this.
I told her that I wasn't comfortable with her leaving him in the car alone, even for
one minute.
And she told me that she's been doing it since he was born, and it's always been fine.
She told me she does it at restaurants, the post office, pharmacy, etc.
I was floored! We don't live in a horrible area, but it's also not super safe either.
I told her to never do this again. She told me she never stopped to think about the potential dangers and that she would stop doing it.
Well, yesterday, as I was driving home from my brother's house, I spotted her
car at the gas station near our place. It was parked in a spot up front and not at a
pump, so I figured she stopped in to grab some snacks, which we like to do. I decided to
stop, go in, say hi, and get some food, and I pulled in and parked next to her. However,
when I got there, I was furious to find our son in his car seat.
The car wasn't even locked.
I don't know what came over me, but in that moment,
I decided to take my son and put him into my car.
I've got a car seat in my car, too.
I then drove to the other side of the gas station parking lot
and waited for my wife to come out.
It took six minutes for her to appear. When she saw that
he was gone, she looked stunned for a second, and then started to frantically look around
and cry. I didn't let this go on for long. After I saw her pull her phone out, presumably
to call 911, that's when I pulled my car around to her. I parked, got out, walked around
to my son's door, opened it, and showed him to her.
She looked extremely relieved, but that quickly turned to anger with her asking me why I took
him and why I did that to her.
I told her she had to learn her lesson and that she promised to stop leaving him in the
car and that what she did was extremely irresponsible.
It was so easy for me to pull up and just take him.
No one else at the gas station even noticed.
So if he really was taken, there would have been no help and it would have 100% been her
fault.
She then called me cruel and psychotic and tried taking our son out of my car into hers.
I said no and that I would be driving him home and left.
She came home not much later but ignored me for the rest of the day.
She acknowledged me today,
saying that she wants an apology.
And I said absolutely not.
And that she's the one who should be saying sorry.
She's been guilt-tripping me for the rest of the day,
saying no mother should ever experience the fear
that I put her through.
Did I go too far?
Am I the butthole?
Okay, so, um, people steal babies, they do.
People steal cars.
My grandma got her car stolen, actually.
So she leaves her unattended baby in an unlocked car
and she thinks that she's the victim here.
Down in the comments, we have this post from scramblies.
There was an incident in San Francisco a while ago
where someone stole a car while its owner was doing food delivery without noticing two kids in the back.
They were missing for like a whole day or two. Thankfully they were found okay, but geez, this is how things like this happen, not the butthole.
And then like on top of that, on top of the fact that this is just like straight up child neglect, child abuse. OP, you also set like very clear boundaries.
You said, I'm not comfortable with this thing that you're doing to my son.
Please stop it.
You were respectful.
You set clear boundaries.
And she told you that she would stop and then she did it the next day.
So on top of being a terrible mother, she's also a liar who doesn't respect her husband's
boundaries.
So OP, you get an easy zero out of five buttles. Your wife gets five out of
five buttles. I will admit in her defense that doing that prank is really cruel. Like it is
something that no one should have to experience. But like how else is she gonna learn? Is it harsh?
Yeah. Is it necessary? Also, yeah. And then like on top of that, there's also kids dying of
heatstroke and cars just because people get delayed or they get distracted or they take too long.
This is really messed up, OP.
Your wife is wrong here.
She is frackedally wrong.
Am I the butthole for refusing to give my ex-husband's girlfriend part of my inheritance?
I'm a 58 year old woman, and I was married to a man for 16 years and we had a son.
After my son was killed by a drunk for 16 years and we had a son. After my son was killed
by a drunk driver, we couldn't support each other. We divorced six years ago, I moved
to a different state, and we haven't spoken since then. About a month ago, I was contacted
by the executor of his will and I was informed of his death. His latest will was written
about a year ago. When I went in, I was told that he left me everything, except for about $10,000 that he
left his girlfriend.
They were together for about two years and lived in the same house.
Now his girlfriend is demanding that I surrender all of the inheritance to her.
She says that I wasn't the one who was there for him when he was drowning in his grief.
That I moved on while he was still feeling guilt over the death of our son.
I've refused so far, but I still feel a bit guilty since I'm planning to sell the house.
This is our marital house. I couldn't bear to stay in that house after our son's death.
So, as a result, she'll have to look for new housing, and she can't afford to because she
doesn't have a job. Also, I make a good living and I own my house outright
because I inherited it from my parents.
So am I at the butthole?
Well, OP, the thing is she did get her inheritance.
She got 10k because that's how much
your ex-husband decided to give her.
She can be upset by that, which is totally understandable.
In fact, it's sympathetic.
If I were in her shoes, I'd be upset too. But fundamentally, it was your ex-husband's money, it was your
ex-husband's property. If he wants to give it to you, or his girlfriend, or charity, or
some random person on the street, or hell, even the drunk driver who killed your son, then that's
his right to do so. So obviously, OP, 0 out of 5 but holes. But to be honest,
I don't really know if I can justify giving the girlfriend a but hole score. Like I'm trying to
imagine if I were dating someone and I was with them for 2 years we lived together and then that
person dies and their inheritance is to give the money to their ex that they had before me. Then yeah, I'd be super pissed.
Does that mean that over this past two years, my partner has been fantasizing, reminiscing
about her ex instead of enjoying her life with me?
Like that seriously stings, that really sucks.
I almost want to give the husband a butthole score.
Because yeah, he's completely justified in giving out the will and heradence however he wants to. But like, I don't know, this feels kind of a little bit disrespectful
to his current partner. I don't know, this is kind of like a great area. What do you guys think?
Does the girlfriend deserve a Butthole's score? Does the husband deserve a Butthole's score?
I think what I'm gonna do is give everyone across the board zero out of five buttholes.
The way that everyone's responding to this situation is somewhat understandable, even
though it's probably not the ideal situation.
Am I the butthole for refusing to sign anything while my eyes are blindfolded?
Ever since I got out of the hospital for chronic problems, my husband has been introducing
me to some games every evening.
One game used to be about doing things while my eyes were blindfolded.
It involved puzzles, rubik's cubes, shaped objects, etc.
We would take turns doing it just for entertainment.
Just a couple of days ago, he's been trying to get me to sign some papers while wearing
a blindfold.
I refuse to do it because he never lets me take a look at what I'm signing before or after.
He says that he was just trying to see if I could leave the same signature every time I
sign, but I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable.
I told him that I don't want to play this game unless and until he shows me the papers first,
and he said never mind then and stop bringing it up.
Last night, he tried to convince me to give it a try and
even volunteer to go first. I asked if he was going to show me what I was going to sign and
he made a face and said no. He said those are the rules and I should respect them.
I refused and he kept going on about how I keep acting worried and suspicious for no reason.
He said that I clearly don't trust him and he was hurt by finding that out now after
everything we've been through.
We had an argument, and I told him to drop it, and not bring it up again a period.
He was mad despite saying that it was no big deal.
He was obviously upset with me and kept talking about how I don't trust him, and that it
was out of line to assume or suspect anything from him like this.
I might be paranoid, but I couldn't help it.
I do kind of think that I was a butthole to him after he stood by my side when my own
family didn't even visit.
This is super, super suspicious.
I am dying to know what that contract is.
I would guess it's either life insurance papers
and he's planning on murdering you because you have chronic health conditions that way
he gets out of the marriage and he gets a fat payday. Or much more likely it's probably
just divorce papers that are very very favorable to him like he gets all the property he gets
all the money he doesn't have to pay alimony he doesn't have to pay for lawyers blah blah
so yeah OP your instincts are 100% correct here. I firmly believe that whatever it is your
husband is up to no good. Super fishy OP, if I were you I would search the
entire house top to bottom to try to find those papers and see what it is he's
trying to get you to sign. Oh no! Okay, down in the comments, Mercator says, not the butthole, as to see those papers, they
exist, do not take no for an answer.
If you see those papers, you might not decide to divorce them.
If you don't see them, get a divorce.
Then OP replies, I did ask, but I didn't see anything on the papers because he said they're
just blank papers.
Okay, well, obviously he's planning on just putting those papers into the printer and
Printing a contract on those papers that already have your signature on them. This guy thinks he's clever and
Admittedly it is a semi-clever plan. It's just super super scummy
Super scammy scammy and scummy.
Don't fall for it OP.
This guy is trying to pull a fast one over you.
He's going to write a contract around a signature.
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Am I the butthole for not wanting to celebrate my mom on my birthday?
I have three siblings between the ages of 10 and 18.
I'm the oldest fourth sibling at 25.
Every year on every single one of our birthdays, we're expected to celebrate my mom as well, which
we've done since we were little. It was taught to me as giving things for caring and giving
birth to us, which I'm all for. I'm grateful as we wouldn't be here without her. The issue
is, though, it becomes less of our birthday and more of an anniversary for the day that
my mom gave birth. Every year on our birthday, our mom gets gifts too.
As we get older, we're now expected to get her monetary gifts.
Just recently, it was my birthday, and I was gifted so much needed clothes and dishware
for my new apartment.
My dad, however, got my mom a new MacBook.
My siblings all got my mom gifts too.
My youngest brother isn't expected to give much, but my 16 year old sister and 18 year
old second brother work, so they're expected to give gifts too.
My sister pulled me aside before my birthday and said that she was sorry that she couldn't
get me much.
She got me a sweater which I love, and that she wanted to get me more, but that our mom
was pressuring her
to get her a certain necklace.
Apparently, my mom had been dropping hints for months,
and my sister was worried our mom would be upset
and feel underappreciated if she didn't get it.
I asked her how much the necklace was,
and my sister said it was $300.
I honestly lost it on our mom,
and shoot into her later that afternoon when my mom opened her gifts after me.
I think she's ridiculous for even wanting my sister to spend so much money on a gift.
My mom started crying and my dad kicked me out. My mom won't answer my calls,
but my aunt, my mom's sister called and said that I was a piece of garbage for not respecting my mother,
and that I'm a selfish, narcissistic child for being jealous of the gifts that my mom
got.
I thought that I was in the right, but now I don't know.
It's been over two weeks, and my mom won't answer my calls.
She's been posting inspirational quotes on Facebook about letting go of the toxicity
in your life,
how blood doesn't equal family, and how hard it is to be a mother.
Several family members are applying to the posts, and are very obviously directing vague
comments at me about being a horrible daughter.
Now I don't know what to think because of how many people are on her side.
Opie, um, this behavior from your mom is very, very unusual.
I don't think I've ever heard of this.
It's selfish, it's weird, it's unfair, it's imbalanced.
Like a person's birthday is their day.
It's the one day of the entire year
that they get to claim as being special for them.
And your mom stole it from all four of her children.
Like, you guys didn't ask
to be born, she was the one who decided to carry four kids, that's her choice. And to make
matters worse, there's already a day for that Mother's Day. Your mom OP sounds like she
might be a narcissist. I would say maybe check out our slash raised by narcissists and
maybe go to therapy because I have a sneaking
suspicion that this is just a tip of the iceberg that if we sat you down and got you to
write more stories about your mother, then we would see many more red flags.
OP I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.
I'm giving your mom 2.5 out of five buttholes and I'm giving your other family members
who support her 2 out of five buttholes.
Also, I can't help but wonder, I don't have any evidence to back this up or anything, by Botholes and I'm giving your other family members who support her two out of five Botholes.
Also, I can't help but wonder,
I don't have any evidence to back this up or anything,
but I'd be very, very curious to know
if your mom gets her mom gifts on her birthday.
Because if she doesn't,
then that would really seal the deal that,
yeah, she's probably an arseist.
If she does get her mom gifts on her own birthday, then yeah, at least she's consistent, at least she's probably a narcissist. If she does get her mom gifts on her own birthday,
then yeah at least she's consistent, at least she's not a hypocrite, but she could still be a
butthole who's a narcissist as well. But at least she'll be an internally consistent narcissist.
Am I the butthole for siding with my boyfriend after he punished my son for asking for money to
watch a step siblings? I'm a 36 year old woman and I've been with
my boyfriend who's 41 for two years. He has three kids, age 6, 12 and 4 while I have a 16 year old
son. The other day, my 12 year old stepson fell off the stairs and injured his ankle. His dad and I had
to get him to the hospital and needed someone to stay with the kids while we were there. My boyfriend told my son to skip his work day and stay with and watch his step-others.
When we returned, my son asked my boyfriend to pay him for babysitting his kids.
I admit that my son doesn't have the best relationship with his step-dad or step siblings,
but my boyfriend and I were shocked by this.
My son explained that he had to skip a work day which cost him
money and he asked my boyfriend to pay him for his time.
My boyfriend scolded him harshly and told him that staying home with his step-brothers
isn't babysitting and he deserves no money for it.
Plus, the skipping one day of work won't do much harm.
But my son disagreed and kept arguing with my boyfriend saying that his step-brothers aren't
his responsibility.
My boyfriend ended up punishing him and taking away all of my son's electronics as well
as canceling his birthday which is months away.
My son fought back talking about how unfair this was and he asked me to get involved.
I sided with my boyfriend because I really didn't appreciate how my son used this family
emergency to his advantage and he thought that he would get money out of helping
family out. My son didn't like where I stood in this conflict and accused me of
favoring my step-kids to stay on my boyfriend's good side. All while ignoring the
mistreatment towards him, I put an end to the argument and he's become silent
ever since. He's even refused to eat with us
or sit with us. Am I the butthole for agreeing with my boyfriend to punish my son?
Okay, so like, they're not his responsibility though. They're not even his stepbrothers because
you guys are just boyfriend-girlfriends. He's not a babysitter, he's an 18-year-old, he's
an adult legally, he's got his own life, he's got a job and you expect him to just put his life on hold
Because you guys need a babysitter and so like what if he wasn't available?
You would hire a babysitter right for the emergency and you would pay the babysitter wouldn't you?
I think that what your son requested was very reasonable and then to punish him for making a very reasonable request
Is even worse because really he didn't do anything wrong
And then he's getting punished just because your boyfriend got his feelings hurt
I guess and he has to have his birthday party taken away because he wants compensation for his day of work
Okay, your son is completely
100% reasonable logical justified here you however you and your boyfriend both deserve a butthole score.
I'm giving you both 2.5 out of 5 buttholes.
And like on top of this, why was it even necessary for you both to go to the hospital to take
the kid?
Couldn't your boyfriend have gone to the hospital and you stayed to watch the kids?
Why do you have to call your son and pull them out of work to watch the kids?
Don't even make any sense.
You could have watched the kids,
a babysitter could have watched the kids,
piled all the kids into a car
and taken them with you to the hospital.
I remember when I was very young,
my brother heard his toe and he had to go to the hospital
and you know, I went with him.
That was our slash of my The Butthole.
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