rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Not Becoming A Kawaii Anime Waifu?

Episode Date: June 12, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole OP is an American girl who speaks Japanese, and she's married to a guy of Japanese descent who doesn't speak Japanese, but his parents do. OP's husband starts demanding that she call h...im the Japanese term for "honored husband," even around his parents. OP refuses because it's extremely cringey and inappropriate, which causes her husband to sulk and lash out. Is she the butthole for not becoming a kawaii anime waifu for her beloved husbando? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 At Salesforce, we're all about asking more of AI. Questions like, where's the data going? Is it secure? Are you sure? Are you sure you're sure? Get answers you can trust from Salesforce at AskMoreVai.com. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit.
Starting point is 00:00:17 Today's subreddit is R-Slash and My The Butthole, where OP refuses to act like a submissive anime waifu. Am I the butthole for having flavored sparkling water at my teenage daughter's birthday party? Another mom accused me of trying to get her daughter un-eating disorder. My daughter's birthday party was on Saturday morning. She's 13 years old.
Starting point is 00:00:37 We hosted the party in our backyard. For food, we ordered pizza, wings, garlic bread, tortilla chips, guacamole, salsa, pasta salad, and burgers. When it came to drinks, we ordered pizza, wings, garlic bread, tortilla chips, guacamole, salsa, pasta salad and burgers. When it came to drinks, we had water, sparkling water and lemonade. So we have the birthday party and everything is going well. One of the moms, Lucy, came to pick up her daughter. She found her daughter drinking a laquah.
Starting point is 00:00:58 She told her daughter to toss the drink and then she came up to me and is like, why are you offering diet products to my children? I'm like, it's just sparkling water. And she flips out saying that her daughter doesn't need artificial soda replacements. She goes on to say that, if I want to give my children eating disorders, then I can do that, but not for her kids. I was taking a back at just how aggressive she was and I didn't feel like I did anything wrong. I was taking a back at just how aggressive she was, and I didn't feel like I did anything wrong. I was like, look, I have pizza, wings, brownies, this is not a diet party at all. She then tells me that I have no right to judge what is a diet product or not. She and her daughter both left.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Also, she later posted on Facebook that some people are trying to push diet products on the children that aren't even theirs. For what it's worth, if my kids want soda then I'm cool with them having it in moderation, but none of my children do. And it was just really odd for me too. Like I've never heard of anyone say that flavored sparkling water is an artificial replacement for soda. Also, I didn't say anything to her because it was extra odd, but both her and her daughter were obese.
Starting point is 00:02:06 So it's just extra odd that they're both accusing me of trying to give them eating disorders. So some of you may have wondered, why did R-slash laugh when he read the line? She then told me that I have no right to judge what is or isn't a diet product. If OP can't decide what is or isn't a diet product, then how can you get angry at someone and accuse them of trying to push diet products on someone else? What-what's his lady? What's his it? It doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:02:36 She thinks she's like, oh, brownies, pizza. You think you're qualified to say what isn't a diet product? Well you can't because no one gets to decide that. Meanwhile, she's like, how dare you give my daughter a diet product? What is wrong with you? It's like lady. Pick one. It's OP, an evil, malicious, fat person, hater who's trying to give kids eating disorders by making them ashamed of their body by giving them diet food, or if she complete idiot who has no qualifications to decide what people can or can't eat as a diet food? Because you can't have both because they're mutually exclusive, you big dumb
Starting point is 00:03:13 idiots. And for clarity, when I say big dumb idiot, I don't mean big as in fat, I mean big as in dumb idiot, big dumb idiot. Am I the butthole for not calling my husband my honored husband in front of his parents, I'm a 28 year old woman and I've been married to my husband a 32 year old man since 2018. My husband is ethnically Japanese and a second generation American. His parents are from Osaka. He kind of sorta half speaks Japanese, mostly just sentences that he's memorized and his parents speak great English. On the other hand, I've lived in Japan for three years, so I'm conversationaly pretty good.
Starting point is 00:03:49 I've studied hard to get to the level I'm at, and I've passed level two of the Japanese language proficiency test. Not great, but not bad. Lately, my husband is super into me calling him Goshijin-sama, which can be translated to my honored husband. It's extremely unusual to call your own husband this, because it's usually reserved for other people's husbands as a respectful term. But it's kind of an anime-slash Japanese geek culture thing. I
Starting point is 00:04:15 was okay with it in private because it makes him happy. Last week we went to his parents house for dinner, and on the way over he asked if I could call him Gosujensama all evening. I immediately shot his idea down with a firm no, because that would be super embarrassing. His parents are native Japanese speakers in their 60s. I'm not going to subject them to what you'd pay a waitress in a made cafe 20 bucks for a cup of coffee to call you. To be honest, I don't think my husband really gets how the phrases properly use, despite his insistence. He kept trying to convince me, reminding me that he's Japanese and knows what's proper. Despite the fact that I speak better Japanese than he does, but I was having none of it,
Starting point is 00:04:56 I just shut him down and tuned him out. We got there, and sometime into the night I called his name to ask if he wanted to drink. Despite him being in hearing range, he ignored me. I said his name again, and this time he looked at me, gave me this pleading shrug, and then turned back to the TV. I didn't get him a drink and just got myself one. A while later I said his name, and he audibly sighed. He told me that he wanted me to call him what I call him at home, to which I responded that I would most certainly not be calling him what I call him at home. This was all in front of his parents, by the way. On the car drive home, I told him that I wasn't going to call him Gosujansama anymore,
Starting point is 00:05:35 because he can't draw the line between fun, playful couple stuff and his parents. He sold for the past week, and I don't even know what to do. Normally, I wouldn't even consider the possibility that I was wrong here, but he's normally a very rational, reasonable, and respectful person. I feel like I'm being gaslighted, and I don't know what to do. Haha. Opie, not me the f*** did I just read? It sounds like your husband wants you to become one of those oo-woo anime girls who notices
Starting point is 00:06:04 his bulgy, wulgy. I mean, come on. If you want to tell your girl, hey, I like it when you call me daddy. Then that's fine in the bedroom, but don't expect to do it around their parents. I mean, I can understand him sulking about you not calling him that name at all, because honestly, who doesn't want an adorable wife who? But to expect you to call him that in front of his parents, is weird and completely unreasonable? OP, I say stick to your completely reasonable boundaries.
Starting point is 00:06:32 I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband 1 out of 5 buttholes and 5 out of 5 boccas. Am I the butthole for blocking someone in after they took my parking space again? In our apartment, we're only given one specific parking space. It's been a challenge since both my wife and I have separate cars and finding parking on this tree can be a mission sometimes. Usually, whichever one of us gets on first, parks are on this tree, so the other can park inside since there are fewer spaces in the evening.
Starting point is 00:07:01 For the past couple of months, our Landladies girlfriend has been coming over and keep using our parking space. And for some reason, only our parking space. Several times, we've had to come knocking to our Landladies door to move her girlfriend's car and she'd apologize to us. The girlfriend always acts like she's doing us a huge favor when we ask her to move. We've both talked to our Landladie about this problem and she promises that it won't happen again. Last Friday my wife was out of town for the weekend. I came home around 10pm, exhausted. I had just finished working at 12 hours shift and wanted to get home.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Guess it was parked in our freaking spot again. It was super late, so cars were already parked all over the streets. This time I just said, effort, and parked right behind her. I didn't have the energy to go knocking at her door and wait for her to move her car. Sometimes they don't even answer. And I wouldn't be blocking anyone else, just her from being able to pull out, so I went to bed. Well, the following morning, the girlfriend came at me for making her a missorship at work. She said that she was knocking on my door for a long time because she needed to leave, but she couldn't.
Starting point is 00:08:08 She called me immature and petty when I simply could have gone to her to move her car. I reminded her that she shouldn't be parking there in the first place, and she left mad. My landlady again apologized, and promised to make sure her girlfriend didn't do that again. But now she's not talking to my wife, and they're usually friendly with each other. My wife is not happy with me that I did that. Instead of creating conflict, I could have tried to find parking on this street or ask them to move like I usually do.
Starting point is 00:08:35 But this time, I just got fed up and I didn't have the energy for it. Was I the butthole? Haircare meets high fashion. A Vedas holiday collaboration with Couture Fashion Designer Iris Von Herpen is now available for you. A gift collection inspired by our planet. Every gift is a celebration of artistry and nature, featuring high performance, 100% vegan, hair, body, and self-care gift sets.
Starting point is 00:09:04 Discover Gives of Luxury at eveta.com. Hi, I'm Pete Davidson, and if you're like most people, you may be asking yourself, well, hey Pete, are you here to up my hydration game? And I'd be like, hey you, that's exactly right, with new smart water alkaline with antioxidant. And you'd be like, okay, cool, but there's no way there's a higher pH, right? And I'd be like, there actually is. And you'd be like, okay, cool, but there's no way there's a higher pH, right?
Starting point is 00:09:26 And I'd be like, there actually is. And you'd be like, that's rad. I hope there's electrolytes for taste too. And I'd be like, you're not gonna believe this. Elevate how you hydrate and keep it smart with smart water alkaline. You know, honestly, OP, what your wife said kind of bothers me. She's met at you for creating the conflict?
Starting point is 00:09:46 You didn't create the conflict? The girlfriend created the conflict. Why is it on you to turn the other cheek and be the nice guy when she's the one being the jerk? Now OP, you get a solid 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the girlfriend 2 out of 5 buttholes for being a jerk. I'm giving the land lady 2 out of 5 buttholes for being irresponsible. And I'm giving your wife 1 out of 5 buttholes for not having your back. I mean, let's not
Starting point is 00:10:09 forget that this is a parking space that presumably comes with your apartment, so you literally pay for that spot. As long as you're paying rent, that spot is legally yours. Am I the butthole for exposing my parents' lies and damaging their reputation? I'm a 21-year-old guy, and I have a strained relationship with my parents. They're involved in pretty much every social event in Circle in our city, be it church, school, clubs, etc. For them, what other people think is the most important thing. So, they'll lie about pretty much any bad thing that could potentially tarnish their standing, and they force my sister, who's 24, and I to behave in certain ways
Starting point is 00:10:49 are follow specific rules. Here are some examples. My sister and I weren't allowed to play with certain kids in our school or neighborhood because their parents were blue collar workers. My parents forced me to stop talking to a really close friend in middle school because his parents got divorced. When I got caught smoking in middle school because his parents got divorced. When I got caught smoking in high school, my parents made up a distant uncle with drug problems and told everyone that he influenced me. My sister came home one day introducing her Spanish boyfriend to my parents. They did not like that, so they told everyone that the boyfriend was an exchange student
Starting point is 00:11:21 that we were housing. My mother once made up a bunch of stuff about a neighboring couple, stuff like, her husband is cheating, and she does adult videos to pay the bills. Of course, she always claims to have heard of someone else, who heard of someone else. Now recently I was near my hometown visiting a friend, and I ran to the leader of a church group that I was part of. I was pretty engaged in that group, so he sat down for a coffee and talked about the good old times. He asked about my studies and how my fiancee is doing. I was confused and told him that I'm not studying and I don't
Starting point is 00:11:53 have a fiance. It turns out that my parents made up a bunch of lies to cover up the fact that I decided to go for an apprenticeship in blue collar work and I turned out to be gay. One thing led to another, and together we discussed a lot of stories from the past with me exposing more and more of my parents' lives. The results could be seen a few days later. My parents called me and very angrily asked me, How could you do this to us? You ruined our lives!
Starting point is 00:12:21 We can never talk to the neighbors again." I told them their entire reputation is built on lies and spreading rumors, that it's disgusting they even call themselves Christians at this point and then I've done being part in their little scheme. My sister later called me after my mom called her in tears. My sister's torn, on the one side she gets me, she's already gone minimal contact with my parents. On the other hand, what I did solved nothing, but it did hurt my parents. Nah OP, it's not like you specifically set out to ruin your parents reputation. Instead you were just chatting with an old friend and when they said something that was
Starting point is 00:12:58 confusing you were like, huh? What are you talking about? That's not you being a butthole to your parents. That's your parents' lies catching up to them. Ultimately, that's the problem with telling lies to people. For every single lie that you tell, if that lie ever gets challenged, then you have to tell extra lies on top of that to cover it. Eventually, the lies lead to lies lead to lies, and everything just collapses under its own weight. And that's what happened here OP, they set a bunch of lies and they weren't around to cover them so when this guy talked to you, it all collapsed.
Starting point is 00:13:31 OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving your parents 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my wife I warned you when our son got a lock for his room? So here's the problem. My son Simon, who's 16, moved out of the room that he used to share with his little brother and got his own room a few months back. Ever since then, he's been complaining about his mom barging in without knocking
Starting point is 00:13:53 and interrupting his sleeping and studying. And sometimes she comes in when he's changing. I know that she's his mother, but he says that he's got his own room and has a job and is learning to become an independent adult, but doesn't feel like his privacy is being respected, even though it's just his mom. He says he's not a kid anymore, and he's entitled to at least get a knock on the door before she comes in.
Starting point is 00:14:16 He was getting tired of her not listening to him, so he came to me and said, Dad, you need to help me set some sort of clear boundaries with mom. So I spoke to my wife and told her that she has to start knocking before entering Simon's room. She was like, what? No, we're family, not strangers. Did you really expect me to foolishly knock on the door five times a day? That's ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:14:39 And who knocks on doors in their own home? I told her my family does, for instance. She made a face, then went on a rant about how my family hates each other, and the way that we treat each other like strangers is shameful. I told her, regardless of whether it's family or strangers, it's about respecting someone's privacy. We had an argument about it, and I told her that if she continued to refuse knocking on the door before entering, then our son would get a lock.
Starting point is 00:15:05 My wife did it again. She barged in when our son was asleep, and he jumped up because he got scared. Once he told me this, I told him to go ahead and get a lock and pay for it with his own money, because there was literally no other way. My wife saw the lock and got upset at me. At the time, my brother was visiting me, and she started raising her voice at me, questioning if I really went ahead and got a lock for Simon despite her disapproval. She said that I caught her off guard and that's not okay because it teaches our kids that they can manipulate one parent into doing what they want. I told her that first of all, Simon got the lock, not me. And second of all, I had already warned her about the possibility of him getting a lock because he was getting tired of her boundary crossing.
Starting point is 00:15:47 So she should have expected this outcome. She mentioned the same points in her defense and said that locks mean secrets and that's not good. My brother was just watching her complain and she began chewing him out when he asked her to let Simon keep the lock and said that it wasn't a big deal. My wife has stopped talking to both me and Simon until we remove the lock, but I have no intention of doing that. Was I at fault for my stance?
Starting point is 00:16:11 Alright, I think this is a rare story where everyone sucks here. First of all, OP, you're violating one of the cardinal rules about being married. When you have a disagreement with your spouse, it's not you versus your wife. It's you and your wife versus the problem together. Your wife is right, you are undermining her authority. If you're gonna fight with your wife, then okay, fights happen, but don't put the kid in between you and your wife in your fight. That's just disrespectful and unhealthy. However, speaking of unhealthy, your wife has a seriously messed up view about privacy. Everyone deserves some privacy, even teenage boys.
Starting point is 00:16:48 In fact, especially teenage boys. If your wife keeps barging in on your 16 year old son's bedroom, then eventually she's gonna see something that she wished she didn't see. So I'm giving you two out of five buttholes OP, and I'm also giving your wife two out of five buttholes. I think I'll give your brother like 0.5 out of five buttholes OP and I'm also giving your wife two out of five buttholes. I think I'll give your brother like 0.5 out of five buttholes for getting involved in something that's not his business. Simon, however, gets a solid 0 out of five buttholes. It's perfectly reasonable for a 16-year-old kid of either gender to expect privacy from
Starting point is 00:17:18 their parents. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you enjoyed this content, then be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you enjoyed this content, then be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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