rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Not Giving $40,000 to a Thief Who Stole From Me?

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole OP doesn't have any kids of her own, so she starts saving money for her nephew's education. Eventually, she raises over $40,000 to pay for college. She agreed to keep this a secret fro...m her nephew because his parents want him to work to earn scholarships, rather than just lazily expecting money. Well, it turns out that the nephew has been stealing money from her purse for years, and OP finally finds out about it. She changes her mind about giving him the $40,000, which of course causes the thief to flip out and start apologizing. Is OP the butthole here? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Am I the Butthole, where everyone talks about OPs Poke Nipples. Am I the Butthole for walking out after I open the gift that my stepson bought me for Father's Day? I'm a 37-year-old guy who has two stepkids, Gina, who's 11, and Billy, who's 16. My stepdaughter is the apple of my eye, and I love her to pieces, but my stepson has a difficult personality. He never does anything with us. He never lets me help him with anything and he keeps his distance from me.
Starting point is 00:00:34 He also never tells me about his problems or achievements, and it's been difficult trying to establish a good bond with him like I have with my stepdaughter. My wife says it is just his nature nature so I should stop pressuring him. Recently he started spending time with me, but every time he would pull a nasty prank. Like replace my shampoo or ruin my credit card or ruin my tires and rear lights. This has caused a rift between us, especially since my wife says that these are just pranks. But I was getting worried for my safety and paranoid, so I kept my distance. On Father's Day, I took my wife says that these are just pranks. But I was getting worried for my safety and paranoid, so I kept my distance. On Father's Day, I took my wife and stepkids to her parents house for breakfast. I received a beautiful gift for my stepdaughter, and I didn't expect my steps on to get me
Starting point is 00:01:16 anything, as always. But he did bring me a gift. It looked like a nice gift, and it was beautifully wrapped. I was so excited and happy because all I was thinking of was not the gift itself, but the fact that my stepson was finally letting me be part of his life and remembering me on Father's Day so it meant the world to me. That was already gift enough, but I couldn't wait to open it and show my appreciation and gratitude.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Well, I opened the box, and inside was a stinky old sock of mine that I lost a couple of months ago. The look on my face said it all. My stepson encouraged me to show everybody what he got me. I didn't want to, but my father-in-law took the box and pulled out the sock. He looked confused, and my stepson started laughing hysterically and so did the others. It was an absolutely horrible moment, and I wish that I could just jump out the window and run away from embarrassment. I just got up and left the room silently while my stepson was laughing behind me. My wife came to tell me that I was massively overreacting, and my stepson was just messing
Starting point is 00:02:19 with me because it was a prank. But he embarrassed me in front of the entire family, and frankly, what he did was so humiliating that I almost cried. My wife said that I shouldn't have walked out like that and made it awkward since I'm the adult and I should have handled this better. I left my in-laws house, and my wife and my kids are still there. My wife was upset that I left, but I just wanted some alone time so I could have a good cry. Am I the butthole for this? Opie, this story clearly shows where your stepson is getting this behavior from. Your wife.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Your stepson is being a complete turd and your wife is constantly enabling him. He's disrespecting you day after day after day and then when you get upset about it your wife is just like, oh it's just a prank, why are you being so sensitive? Okay, here's the thing about pranks. A prank is only a prank when everyone laughs. If the only people who laugh are the people who pulled the prank, then it's not a prank, it's just being mean. O.P, you get zero out of five buttholes, you seem like a caring and loving stepfather. I'm giving your stepson three out of five buttholes because he's being a terrible son. I'm giving your wife four out of five buttholes because she's being a terrible mom and a terrible wife. Oh, P, I think that you need to show your wife
Starting point is 00:03:33 the comments of this thread because your wife desperately needs a reality check. Also, let me just add that damaging someone's car is extremely dangerous. You said that he damaged your tail lights. Okay, so what if you're driving around at nighttime and you're not aware that your tail lights are broken and you break and the person behind you doesn't see your tail lights because they're broken at nighttime?
Starting point is 00:03:55 That's how collisions happen and it can be extremely dangerous. Am I the butthole for refusing to pay for my nephew's schooling after he stole from me? My nephew doesn't know that I've saved some money for his education. Not a lot, just about $40,000. My brother and I agree not to tell him until he graduated college because we wanted him to work hard and get scholarships rather than rely on the money. I don't have any kids in my own, so this is my way of looking out for him since my brother hasn't been able to save up much
Starting point is 00:04:22 money. Well, then my nephew started stealing from me. This past summer he came back home and stayed with me occasionally to be closer to work. Every time he came over, he would steal from my wallet, taking about 20 to $40. At first I didn't notice, but then I withdrew exactly $200 and the next day after he came over, $40 was missing. Some of my jewelry also went missing. I realized what might be happening, so I installed a hidden camera and I caught him stealing from my wallet.
Starting point is 00:04:52 I contacted my brother and told him about this stealing and that I'm no longer paying anything towards his loans. My brother was furious with his son. At first he tried to deny it, but then I sent them the recording and he admitted that he needed the money. I am pissed at my brother because he told my nephew that I was planning to give him $40,000 and I'm no longer doing that because of the stealing. He begged sent flowers, asked his grandma, my mom, to ask me for forgiveness. I firmly told him no, so am I the butthole for not giving him the $40,000 now that I caught him stealing?
Starting point is 00:05:27 No, OP, what are you kidding me? I would have done the exact same thing. You're gonna come into my home, steal from me, and then expect me to give you more money. Why are you delusional? OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your nephew gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Also down in the comments, Loudent says exactly what I was thinking out of 5 buttholes. Also, down in the comments, Loudant says exactly what I was thinking.
Starting point is 00:05:47 Not the butthole. Here's what I'm sure really happened. Your brother confronted your nephew about this stealing and demanded that he make it up to you. Your nephew couldn't have cared less and thought that what he did was fine. At that point, your brother probably brought up your savings and the nephew realized that he was screwing himself
Starting point is 00:06:03 out of $40,000. So then, suddenly he wanted to make it up to you. He just wants the money. He's not genuinely remorseful. Think of it as free money and treat yourself. Am I the butthole for not sharing my money that I saved for a school trip between my siblings? I'm a 16 year old girl and my class missed out on our school trip this year because of the pandemic. It happens. But my school promised us that next year we would have another trip to make up for it.
Starting point is 00:06:30 So I started saving money when this was confirmed back in April. I don't have all the money saved, but I do have a good portion. My parents both lost their jobs due to the pandemic. They're currently working other jobs, but they're making far less. This means that we all have much less money than before. Pair that with the fact that my parents already struggled to afford five kids, and it's not clear that my parents can't afford four school trips. My parents found out that I saved for mine and told me that if I shared all my money between my younger siblings, then they could all go in their trips and I would be a good sister. I said no. I said they could figure something out on their own or they could teach them to take one for the team like I always have to do. My 13 year old sister heard everything, told the others, and now everyone in the
Starting point is 00:07:13 house is saying that I should give it to my siblings and that I mean and selfish for not. This will be my first class trip since I was seven. I can actually afford to go because I work now and I can save that money for myself. I know that it's hurting my siblings' feelings, but I feel like I deserve something good too. Am I the butthole? Wait, hold on, OP, you work, you have a job, you go out to your job, get paid, bring your own hard earned money home, and your parents expect you to give your money to your younger siblings?
Starting point is 00:07:45 No, that is completely unfair. OP, stick to your guns on this one because you are not the butthole here. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I think that I also have to give your younger siblings zero out of five buttholes because they're all just kids. And honestly, they'll just go along with whatever your parents say. Your parents are literally showing favoritism by putting your siblings' needs above your own. And they're doing it in a completely unfair way too.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Them expecting you to take your job money and give it to your siblings is extremely disrespectful. I'm giving them 4 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for laughing when a friend told me that I had it easier because my husband is dead and her soon to be exes dating? I'm a widowed mom. My little one and I recently moved to another state for a multitude of reasons. Mostly to stay close to my in-laws who move to warmer temperatures for health reasons. I have a fellow mom friend who's a neighbor.
Starting point is 00:08:38 We've been doing play dates because our daughters are around the same age. We get along great for the most part. She's going through a divorce. She's the one who initiated the divorce. All she does is complain about her husband and how she hates being alone. I listen to her. I try to be as supportive as I can be. She said to me the other night that I had no idea how hard her life is.
Starting point is 00:08:59 That she's alone and it's better for me because my husband just flat out died, that he's not out there dating other women, and I'll never understand how alone she feels. And I just laughed, I couldn't help it, and I couldn't stop. I managed to mention that she was the one who initiated the divorce. She wanted to be single, and I just couldn't stop laughing. So now she's mad at me. She still lets her daughter come over and play, but she doesn't stay, and I just couldn't stop laughing. So now she's mad at me. She still lets her daughter come over and play, but she doesn't stay. And I'm okay with that because it was
Starting point is 00:09:30 funny. But am I the butthole? Am I minimizing her feelings? I don't really talk about my dead husband. I never compared my situation with hers. She did. Then O.P. Posts in an update. So the good outcome of this story is that my now ex-friend complained to a bunch of neighbors about me, and I've made quite a few new friends for myself and my little one. My new friends enlighten me to the fact that my neighbor has pretty much alienated all of her close friends for the exact same reason. She's a type of person who always has a worse problem than whatever problem you have. She did make a half-hearted attempt to apologize to me, but it was more of a, I'm sorry that
Starting point is 00:10:07 you took it like that. Like was there supposed to be another meaning to it? I did tell her that I'm not mad at her, but oh my god does she have a skewed way of looking at things. I wish her well, but I don't have the energy to deal with a person like that. Down in the comments we had this story from Emila. My husband was deployed, and my best friend told me that I had it much easier than she did. Her husband hadn't been deployed, but he was working much longer hours and his stress was increasing
Starting point is 00:10:35 her stress. I could not believe what I was hearing. What the f? I chose to never speak to her again. Not the butthole by the way. Heh, yeah, I agree OP, what is this woman smoking? Maybe she actually does think that you have it better, because she's a type of person who genuinely wishes that her ex-husband was dead. Oh, you're just so lucky that your ex-husband is dead. I wish my ex-husband was dead. I wish everyone that I didn't like was dead. The world would be so much better that way, wouldn't you agree?
Starting point is 00:11:06 Will I be the butthole for going to HR about my secret nickname? Long story short, I'm a nurse at a hospital, and part of my job is going to different floors to help out. I have a pretty common name, thank Jessica, Amanda, etc. There are several other nurses with my name throughout the hospital, and sometimes multiple nurses with the same name on the same floor. Today I was working on a hall with a new nurse who didn't know me yet. She commented about how it was weird that this floor has three Jessica's on it. She asked me which one I was. I guess she thought that I just worked on that floor and I told her my last name.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Then she asked, do you know Jessica with the nipples that works on multiple floors? The charge nurse was nearby and I noticed her eyes get kind of big, and she looked nervous all of a sudden. I was confused for a minute, because I had never heard this description before, and as far as I knew, I was the only Jessica who worked multiple floors. Then it dawned on me. She was referring to me, without knowing that I am apparently Jessica with the nipples. I guess this was just a known thing about me, because that I am apparently Jessica with the nipples. I guess this was just
Starting point is 00:12:05 a known thing about me because that nurse avoided me like the plague all day and so did everyone else. The charge nurse tried to make it a joke with me at lunch and I laughed to hide my embarrassment but I was mortified. I had noticed my nipples sparingly in the bathroom mirror and I thought that it was just a rare thing when I got cold. I guess that my nipples show through my sports bra and scrubs on a regular enough basis that it's become my secret identifier. I told my friend that I was thinking about going to HR about this, but they said that it was obviously a harmless identifier that I was never supposed to find out about. So it should have been no harm, no foul. The same is something like Jessica with
Starting point is 00:12:45 the red hair. However, I feel like it's not harmless to use an identifier that is so embarrassing and makes me the butt of jokes. I think that I could be the butthole because I don't know what HR would do and what if it's too extreme. I don't want anyone fired. OP, I'm really glad that I came across your post because I had something very similar happen to me. Back at one of my old jobs, my co-workers gave me a nickname behind my back and I didn't find out about it until like a year later. It was so embarrassing when I found out and I almost quit over it.
Starting point is 00:13:18 All of my co-workers would call me Dabney with a huge dick. They'd say, there goes Dabney with his massive tongue. Also my last name is Bailey, so they would call me Big Bulge Bailey. It was so embarrassing because all the girls were like, oh so are the rumors true? And I had to be like, stand back ladies, I'm a married man, hands off. Only one lady gets to enjoy this massive dong. Anyways OP, I really feel for you. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your co-workers 1 out of 5 buttholes. Also I would say if you're worried about going to HR just come to those two co-workers directly and say listen,
Starting point is 00:13:57 that nickname that you're using on me please don't call me that anymore. It makes me really uncomfortable and if I find out that people keep calling me that, then I'm gonna have to go to HR. That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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