rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Refusing to Babysit for Free for a Man?

Episode Date: July 26, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP gets a frantic message from her sister, who says that OP needs to watch her kids in an emergency. OP rushes over to her sister's house and is shocked to see that her brother-in-law is there as well. He refuses to watch his own children because it's the weekend and he deserves to play video games all day. So this guy honestly expects a woman to come over to his house and babysit for free because video games are more important than raising his own kids. Is OP the butthole for refusing to accommodate her sexist brother-in-law? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash Am I the Butthole, where OP ruins a wedding. So, as you may have noticed, I sound different. That's because I have a completely new audio setup, new microphone, new audio equipment, I've got a special like sound-insulated area that should cut off the echo. So the overall effect of this should be that my audio quality is much clearer and crisper than before. So if you've been listening to my videos every day, it probably sounds really weird because I sound really different, so please give this new audio setup a chance, I hope that you find that it's much easier to listen to than my previous audio setup. Please let me hear your thoughts down in the comments because I'm really curious

to know what you think about it. Am I the butthole for being surly, rude, and mean at a wedding and leaving early? I was asked to be a member of the wedding party. Despite this, I was the only person in the entire wedding who wasn't allowed to have a plus one. This was an outdoor wedding with unlimited seating, and these people don't care at all about COVID, so it wasn't that. I was told that it was because my relationship wasn't serious enough, despite us being together for a year. They said that only engaged or married couples were invited. The bride said, I don't want some random guy in my wedding pictures, who you might not even be with a year into the future. They said they didn't want some random guy in their pictures,

when even though he wouldn't have been in any of the post pictures at all, maybe just in the background of crowd shots. There have been no conflicts between them and my boyfriend, and he's a nice mild-mannered guy who gets along with everyone. So, I don't think this was about him personally. I get to this ceremony, and I find out that literally everyone else has a plus one, not just the married couples. There have been couples there who have been dating for less time than me and my boyfriend have. This is when I started feeling surly. I smiled and played my part during the ceremony, but inside I was very surly and angry.

We then got to the reception, which had way more people in the ceremony. This is where all the distant friends and acquaintances were invited, and everyone there had a plus one. I was literally placed at a table as the one and only single person at a table filled with couples. Some people at the table were other members of the wedding party, but others were random distant acquaintances. People started asking me where my boyfriend was, and I said that I was told that he wasn't invited. They asked why and I said I had no idea why. This is when I started letting my surliness show and I started acting rude and mean because I was humiliated and then the bride and groom brought me into a conversation with their male friend, Dean. They had previously told me that Dean had a crush on me

and I made it clear that I wouldn't be interested in Dean even if I were single. Even after I told them that, Dean kept trying to message me and I ignored him. But now, after bringing me in to talk to Dean, the bride and groom were standing there, basically giggling behind their hands. It's like they thought they were cupid matchmakers. Dean was absolutely a participant in this. I was meaner to Dean than I've ever been to anyone in my entire life. I was as fully rude as I've ever wanted to be when being the target of someone's unwanted romantic interest. It's true that I don't really know for sure if I was being set up to be with Dean,

but I was already furious before this happens. Everyone around us was silent and awkward. I went back and finished my meal, and as soon as I was done, I picked up my person left and went straight to my boyfriend's house, skipping most of the reception, cake cutting, speeches, and everything.

I'm now being told by the couple that they're herding confused as to why I left so early, but I haven't replied. OP, if I were in your shoes, I would straight up be angry too. They disrespected you, they disrespected your boyfriend, they disrespected your relationship. They specifically singled you out and ignored your wishes, ignored your relationship because they would rather be with this other guy who you already said you're not interested in. Come on people, no means no.

It's 2021. Why are we still debating this? Like, I don't know that. Like, I don't know how this happened. This, this story is like an onion made out of dog turds where every time you peel back a layer, it's yet another even stinkier layer of dog turds. At first, when you were the only person who didn't have a plus one, I was thinking, okay, maybe the bride and groom made some sort of mistake in their planning and they meant to give

you a plus one, but they made a mistake and didn't. Then you got to the reception, a place where realistically there was no reason for you to not invite your boyfriend, but still he wasn't allowed. Then they stuck you at a table surrounded by other couples, who of course are going to ask you, where's your boyfriend? Then we find out this whole thing was just a setup to get you hooked up with Dean because apparently you're going to fall madly in love with Dean at a wedding. OP, screw them and screw Dean. They get 3 out of 5 buttholes, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes.

If I were in your shoes, I would have definitely walked out of that wedding too. Am I the butthole for calling my sister's husband useless? I'm a 17 year old woman and my 34 year old sister called me saying that her work had an emergency and she needed me to get there ASAP and she needed me to watch her kids because no one else can. I rushed over there just to find her husband locked in his game room playing video games. I asked her why she called me over if her husband was home and she said that he didn't want a baby's safe because it was his only

day off. My sister left and I started hanging out with the kids. I was changing the baby's diaper and the other kids wanted a snack and I told them to go ask their dad to make them a snack since the baby had a blowout and it was going to take me a while to clean them up. Well, their dad sent them back upstairs and told them to ask me again for food. After cleaning the baby up, I made the kids a snack and their dad came out to eat and told me not to let the kids interrupt him on his day off. By the way, this guy works part time from home six days a week. I kinda snapped at him and told him that it was MY day off too and that he's a useless

effing father and husband if his wife has to rely on his teenage sister rather than her own husband. He started telling me that I was being disrespectful, and I didn't understand how hard parenting is. And I told him that clearly he doesn't understand how hard parenting is either because he considers parenting his own children babysitting. He ended up kicking me out, and apparently my sister was forced to come home because he considers parenting his own children babysitting. He ended up kicking me out, and apparently my sister was forced to come home because he told her that she needed

to figure it out since I'm her sister. I feel like I may be the butthole because my sister is mad at me, her husband is mad at me, and my mom is mad at me for causing drama. But my dad thinks that it's funny and he agrees with me. I definitely didn't need to call him names But I just hate this guy so much We've argued about things in the past as well, so we already don't have a great relationship My sister is saying that I need to apologize to him and he is threatening to never let me into the kids' lives again If I keep disrespecting him Business notifications getting out of hand buried under an avalanche of customer emails texts and social media messages respecting him. Get Command Center for free today at thrive.ca. That's THR-Y-V dot CA terms and conditions apply free plans have limited functionality Okay, Opie. Let me just start off by saying that I'm on your side here

I think that for the most part you're not the butthole But I am gonna sort of like be the devil's advocate for just a brief second because I think that is relevant So first off if you want to be in these kids lives, then yeah, you can't disrespect their father. I'll get to why this guy is a butthole in a second, but realistically you can't come into this guy's house and salt them and then expect him to be okay with you being around his kids all the time. That being said, OP, you are completely not the butthole in the situation. You are literally doing this guy a favor and he responds by getting all up to you and expecting you to just cater to his needs. You're not as wife, why is it your

responsibility to make sure that his vacation isn't ruined? Also, the fact that your sister had to actually call you to come over means this is a reoccurring issue and this guy just isn't budging at all. Let me offer some perspective OP on what a real father does. So I'm down here in my office right now working on a YouTube video. This is my full-time job and I work up from about 8 in the morning until 4.30 in the afternoon, Monday through Friday, every week. My wife, meanwhile, is on maternity leave, so she's upstairs taking care of our newborn baby. When I go upstairs after a long day of work, I don't cross my arms and be like, oh well, I work today and you didn't, so I don't have to take care of the kids.

No, I'm changing diapers and feeding the baby and giving her a bath and walking her around the neighborhood and playing with her and just all the stuff that's involved with actually being a father. Why? Because I want to actually be a father, not some guy who just works and then disappears into his video game room. Don't get me wrong, I like playing video games just as much as the next guy, but I'm not gonna neglect my daughter and abandon my wife just because I'm selfish and wanna play games with my friends. And when the weekend comes around do I say to my wife, oh sorry sweetie, but I worked Monday to Friday so you have to take care of the baby on the weekends. Nope, on the weekends as well, I'm doing the exact same stuff because I want to be a good father. Now I'm not saying all this stuff to be like, oh look at our slash, he's such an

amazing father. No, I'm not like trying to brag, I'm just trying to say that I'm present, I'm here, I'm involved with the life of my kid. I'm not shoving off my responsibility to someone else because I'm lazy. This guy is, OP, your brother-in-law is a piece of human garbage. He's being an objectively bad father and an objectively bad husband. If he's working a part-time job, even six days a week as opposed to five, then I'm literally working more hours than he is. So if I can do my job and still be involved with my kids' lives, then what's his excuse? O.P., you get 0 out of 5 buttholes.

Maybe I could kind of see giving you like 0.5 out of 5 buttholes because you did insult him in his own house, which is kind of rude. But for the most part, O.P., I'm completely on your side. Your brother-in-law, however, gets 4 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for banning my mother-in-law from the house? I'm a 39-year-old man, and I lost my late wife six years ago. I have a 16-year-old son, Daniel, and I recently got engaged in my fiancee of two years. My fiancee's mom and I are not on good terms because of how she behaves.

She's a controlling, self-centered, dolly-parten wannabe. I've learned to ignore her nonsense, but she's been annoying Daniel and criticizing his personality regularly. Daniel's a private kid, and he still hasn't gotten used to the new family dynamic, but he's in therapy and he's doing fine. She keeps diagnosing him left and right, calling him anti-social, autistic, and other things. The fact is, Daniel is just a shy, well-manored kid, but people confuse that with being anti-social. My mother-in-law tried several times to force Daniel to open up by embarrassing him with personal

questions on family dinners to test his personality type. I've realized the effect that her behavior had on Daniel, so I gave him the choice to no longer be in the same house as my mother-in-law, and he really appreciated that. My mother-in-law did not like the Daniel kept his distance and no longer visited her, and she kept complaining about how spoiled he would become for her daughter to deal with. I told her to stop bringing it up, but she cried, I'm just doing this for Daniel." Last week she visited unexpectedly wanting to say hi to Daniel. After Daniel greeted her, he went to the bathroom and she went to the living room with my fiance. I was in my bedroom when Daniel came to me and said that his journal was gone. We looked for it, but we didn't find it.

I paused for a second to ask where my mother-in-law was. My fiance said that her mom was in the living room, but I saw her coming down the stairs. I asked my mother-in-law where she'd been, and she said she was in the bathroom. I saw that she had her purse in her hand, so I bluntly asked her if she had taken Daniel's journal. She looked offended and called for my fiance when I insisted to see inside of her purse. She wanted to leave, but I didn't let her. My fiancee told me to stop it, but I insisted, and after I checked, I found the journal in her purse. My mother-in-law tried to explain that this was her only chance to get to know Daniel better because I care about him. I blew up at her and berated

her for stealing from my son and told her she's banned from my house for the stunt she pulled. She just argued with me and left. My fiancee apologized for her, but she said that banning her from the house was over the top. It's backlash, and now my father-in-law is telling my fiance that I'm abusive and to call off the wedding for refusing to apologize to my mother-in-law. My fiancee said that her family won't come to the wedding until I reconcile with her mom and cancel the ban. But I will not let my son be disrespected in his own house,

and I ask my fiance to understand. I'm refusing to reconcile, but I'm aware this could ruin my relationship with my in-laws, not just my mother-in-law. And my fiancee thinks that I'm selfish to call his drama. All right, so if your mother-in-law really wants to understand Daniel, then there's a really easy way to do that. Just treat him with respect. Show up, be polite, be nice, ask him about his day, ask him about his interests, it's really that simple. But no, your mother-in-law

has decided to be a jerk about it and constantly harass Daniel, so of course he doesn't want to be a rounder. OP, I'm giving your mother-in-law three out of five buttholes. As for UOP, I definitely 100% agree that you should protect your son, that's your responsibility as his father. However, that being said, you are actually affecting your relationship with your fiance. You do have a responsibility to your partner as well. So while I do feel like your response is justified, I kind of think that you digging in your heels is a little bit disrespectful to your

fiance. I feel like there needs to be some kind of middle ground here. I mean, obviously if the mother-in-law keeps acting up, then you can't allow her to be around Daniel because that's not safe for Daniel. However, if you really do love your fiance, then you owe it to your fiance to at least try to mend that broken bridge, right? That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.