rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Refusing to Give My House to My Friend?

Episode Date: July 15, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole OP's friend is getting married, and OP agrees to let her friend use his house as her wedding venue. However, OP's fiancé doesn't like OP and refuses to allow OP to attend the wedding... but they still want to use OP's house. OP is like, "Wait, you're not inviting me to the wedding, but you still want to use MY house for your wedding. Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen." The wedding couple freaks out on OP and calls him a bitter a-hole for refusing to give them his house. Does that make him the butthole in this situation? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash and My The Butthole, where OP kicks his son out of his house. Am I the butthole for refusing to let my stepson return home without punishment after he ruined my daughter's book collection? My 12-year-old biological daughter, Susan, likes to collect and read old children's books. She's become an incredible reader. She had reading and learning problems before and we were advised to encourage her to read and ever since she started reading, her skills have improved. She also reads to her two-year-old sister every night. I have a 16-year-old stepson, Levi, who can be a hothead sometimes. We don't have a father-son relationship, but I respect

him and he respects me, though he can act quite mean and selfish towards me and his sisters. He'll throw away our stuff over small arguments and he'll tease Susan for reading slowly, calling her grandma. My wife and I discuss Levi's behavior and agreed on punishments, but Levi would just go to his dad's place whenever he causes trouble. Then he would have his dad yell at me for wanting to discuss a suitable punishment. Then, Levi would come back home days later, expecting me to just let go of what he did every time. It's frustrating.

I got a call from my daughter, saying that Levi took her entire book collection and threw them in the pool after she refused to lend him in his friends or camera for his trip. My wife helped Susan get the book out, but they were already wet and destroyed. It was horrific because some of those books are really hard to get, and they meant a lot to Susan. I was so mad at Levi. I came home to have a conversation with my wife and decided on a punishment for Levi, but he had already packed a small bag and went back to his dad's.

I asked my wife, how could you let him run away after doing this?" She said that she called Levi's dad, and he came to pick him up after Susan said that I was coming home to punish him. I went over to Levi's dad's house, and his father refused to let me even see him. I told his dad that Levi was hiding from consequences, and his dad tried to justify why Levi was acting out by blaming me for how me and Susan treated him. He even said that he would try to get child protective services involved if I ever tried to punish him because I'm not his dad and I have no right. He also said that Levi only did what he did because Susan was being mean to him.

He told me to leave because Levi won't come home until I promise not to do anything about what he did and put it in writing. So I said Levi should just stay there with him then. I said that Levi was forbidden from coming back to my house until he got his proper punishment. His dad argued that it's Levi's mom's house too, so he called my wife and my wife asked me to just let this go. She said that we'll figure out some way to resolve this, but I don't think it's fair for Susan to have her books ruined and leave I get away with it. They're asking me to let this go, but it'll only encourage Levi to do worse if I don't deal with this now. It's been two weeks and my in-laws say that I was out of line for banning Levi from

coming home and are telling me to step back, but I've refused. Opie, there is so much going on with this story. I don't even know where to begin. First of all, clearly, your step-son is a spoiled, entitled brat. He throws away your belongings because you have fights. He destroyed a 12-year-old's book collection because she wouldn't let him borrow his camera. And then he just runs away like some scared little woosey whenever he's gonna get punished. I am not gonna accept punishment and I want you to sign a contract saying that you can't punish me so, yeah.

OP, this doesn't sound like the actions of a 16 year old. It sounds like a 10 year old. The only reason why he's acting like this is because everyone around him is enabling his behavior. His dad is enabling it, his mom is enabling it, and his grandparents are enabling it. I'm giving Levi 3.5 out of 5 buttholes because honestly he's growing up into an awful human being. Then we've got the father and oh my god what a piece of work this guy is.

Basically this guy is just letting his kid do whatever he wants and you're suffering the consequences. My guess, and to be fair, this is a total guess because I don't have the actual evidence to back it up here. But my guess is that this guy is just doing this because he wants to get back at you, the guy who's banging his wife, or his ex-wife actually. Anyways, I'm giving this guy 4- of 5 but holes for being a terrible father. If he thinks that his son doesn't deserve punishment, then leave I can live with him. It's as simple

as that. Also, that completely BS line where he's like, oh well, leave I deserve to go back to the house because it's his mom's house too. Well, what about it being your house? What about it being Susan's house? So apparently, Levi, your wife, and Levi's dad all get to have a say in what goes on in your house, but you don't? No way. That completely doesn't fly. Alright, last but not least, onto your wife, Opie. Your wife is not being a good mother here, plain and simple. The fact that she just expects you to drop this shows clear favoritism towards Levi at the expense of Susan. She's not being a good mother by sleeping the son of the rug, and fact she's being a bad mother.

Levi's being a brat and he deserves consequences for his actions because he's turning into a terrible person. I'm also giving your wife 4 out of 5 buttholes. OP, I know that you're stuck in a terrible situation here, but I really think that you should hold strong. OP, Susan is your biological daughter, and you have a sacred responsibility to protect your daughter at all costs. Levi has proven time and time again that he just doesn't respect your rule, your house, or your daughter.

If you cave and let Levi back into your house without facing consequences, then I can guarantee that he will go straight back to harassing Susan. If you allow that to happen, then that would make you the Butthole OP. But as it stands, you've done nothing wrong. You deserve zero out of five Buttholes. OP, stay strong. Plant your feet and do not back down. This is important to you and your daughter.

This is a hill worth dying on. Am I the butthole for telling my friend that her parents bought her house? Not her? I know the title sounds bad, but hear me out. I'm a 28 year old woman, and I have a friend who's also a 28 year old woman who purchased a house late last year. It's an awesome two story townhouse, and I've been over there plenty of times to help her move, decorate, and to hang out. As I mentioned in the title, her parents purchased the house for her and her partner. I truly have no issue with this because the housing market is terrible for buyers, so more power to them for being homeowners.

Recently, unfortunately because of my parents' death, I inherited my parents' house which is a three-beditter mountain of sticks. So, onto the issue. We went to plant shopping, because most of the stuff in the house was like 10 or 15 years old. We were standing with an employee who was recommending smaller items like toasters and kettles, and as part of the general chit chat he asked if I was moving out. I told him I was moving, and he asked if I bought a rented.

I told him I bought the house because it was just easier and less awkward than telling him that I inherited the house. He told me that was cool and began talking about toasters again when my friend cut in that I had inherited my house, not purchased it. The employee went quiet and I flashed my friend, uh, what was that face? I was taken a back and she continued on saying, yeah, I purchased my house. I said, does it really matter? I'm here to buy some kitchen appliances, not tell this guy about my personal issues. She grand and said, it's just for the record, which made me more confused and annoyed. I replied, oh, okay, then if it's just for the record, your parents purchased your house for you. The

Okay, then if it's just for the record, your parents purchased your house for you. The employee quickly retreated and she walked outside of the shop. I caught up with my friend and she said that I was a massive butthole for pointing out that she couldn't afford to own without her parents' help. I replied, my parents also helped me with getting a house too, just in a really terrible way. My partner agreed with me, saying that she's the one that opened that door, but our other friends are split almost 50-50. What?

How can anyone be split 50-50 on this? This is clear, cut, and dry hypocrisy. It's okay for your friend to talk about your personal life in front of strangers, but it's not okay for you to do the exact same thing with your friend. No, that's not how that works. Honestly, OP, the way this story was evolving, what I thought was gonna happen was you were talking to the employee and then your friend said, oh by the way, I bought my house and then you corrected her for just like no reason and I was prepared to say, yeah OP, that's kind of a butthole move, but that's not what happened here. Your friend did that exact

butthole move to you. and you have a really good reason to lie, not everyone likes talking about the death of a family member to complete strangers. Your friend on the other hand lied because basically she just wants to boost her own ego. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving your friend 2 out of 5 buttholes. The thing that's really confusing to me that I can't like fully grasp, it seems like your friend is kind of looking down on the way that you obtained your house, and that somehow the way that she did it is better than the way that you did it. But fundamentally, and this is going to be kind of dark and grim to say, both of you

acquired the house in approximately the same way from like a money standpoint. Both of you obtained wealth from your parents. The difference here is that you did it through inheritance and she did it through a gift. So why is your friend acting like her situation is somehow better than your situation? It's really weird to me. Am I the butthole for kicking my friend out of the car? Earlier today I was driving my friend back home after we worked out. We passed by these two girls walking, and one of my friends rolls down his window and says,

I like how those boobies jiggle. How about you give the boys a flash? I instantly got angry when he said that. I pulled around the corner and told him to get out of my car. He thought that I was joking, but I wasn't and he started arguing. He was saying that it was a joke and he started arguing. He was saying that it was a joke and he was messing around, and everyone was on his side saying that it wasn't a big deal. At first he said that he wasn't getting out, but then I said that I was going

to force him out if he didn't. He finally did leave the car without me forcing him out. He lived really far away, so he had to walk the rest of the way. Everyone else is still mad at me. I just dropped them all off and went on my way. I called the guy that I kicked out to make sure that he got home safe, and I told him to never say anything like that around me ever again. He apologized, but he was still mad because he thought that making him walk was going too far.

Am I the butthole? What's going too far? He I the butthole? What? Going too far? He had to walk home. Okay? I hate that I have to keep saying this, but a joke is only a joke when everyone laughs. I highly doubt that those two women were laughing. So this isn't a joke, it's sexual harassment, and you made the right call OP. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes.

Your friend gets 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for not letting my best friend have her wedding on my property after she uninvited me? I'm a 29 year old guy, and one of my best friends, Carla, who's a 31 year old woman, is getting married soon. It's only meant to be a small backyard type of wedding, but they've been planning it for a few months now, and originally it was supposed to be on my property. They wanted to use my property because it's private, has lots of open space for the reception, a nice view, and the house could be used for them to get ready and stuff. Of course I said yes, and she and her fiance, Rick, were very happy. The thing is,

Carla and I do have a history. We were kind of on and off in college, but we decided to stay friends. Then I met my wife, we got married, Carla met Rick, and now here we are. So my wife knows that I went out with Carla back in college, and she doesn't care. Carla even attended our wedding and everything. I never knew of Carla told Rick. It's not my relationship, but therefore it's not my business to say anything, so I never did. Rick recently found out about the history between Carla and I, and not in the best way. I'm not exactly sure how, but from what I've heard from friends, a mutual friend told Rick that we used to date. Not only that, but apparently Carla said a couple of years ago that she was

still in love with me when she was already dating Rick. I don't have actual confirmation if that's exactly what was said. The only thing Carla told me is that Rick was told about our past and he's angry at her for never saying anything. It became quite a drama and I didn't hear from Carla for over a month until now. She told me that they're going to couples counseling and that the wedding is still on. However, Rick requested that I not attend the wedding. It sucks, but I totally understand why he wouldn't be comfortable. Then I asked the obvious question, so where are you going to hold the wedding?

To my surprise, Carla said that she still wants to have the wedding at MY house. Rick agreed, and in my mind I'm thinking, this guy doesn't want the guy who dated his fiance years ago at the wedding, but he still wants the wedding to be at his house. They expect my wife, and I to just not be at our home that weekend, and I told Carla no. They're going to have to find someplace else, because we're not going to simply give them our home for the weekend. Not only for safety reasons, but also, it just doesn't make sense. Rick doesn't want me around because he's not comfortable, but he is comfortable enough to have their wedding at my house.

They really want to have their wedding at my house, though. And because of that, I've been bugged by Carla, Rick, and even some friends who think that I'm being a petty butthole for not letting them have the wedding here anymore. Honestly, I don't think that I am being a butthole. It just doesn't make sense at all to have to leave our own home for a wedding that we're no longer welcome to and leaving our home totally vulnerable. Still, people are accusing me of sabotaging their wedding and Rick believes that this is the least that I can do after everything.

Him, I, the butthole. So throughout this story, I was kind of more or less on Rick's side, like, so Rick was a victim, right? Carla didn't help Rick the real story, so he felt like he was blindsided before the wedding, which is fair, I think that a lot of people probably would be, right? Like, oh, by the way, I used to do the nasty with this person, they're gonna be at the wedding, and the wedding's gonna be at their house. Sure, definitely, it's kind of a shock. So yeah, OP, it is definitely weird that he doesn't want you at the wedding and the wedding is going to be at their house. Sure, definitely, it's kind of a shock. So yeah, OP, it is definitely weird that he doesn't want you at the wedding, but he doesn't want to move the wedding to someplace else. Because from like a money

and logistics standpoint, they've already got everything organized, the invitations are probably out. So from a logical perspective, I can understand why he wouldn't want to move it because it just be a big mess and an expensive mess at that to move it. However, that last sentence when he was like, this is the least that you can do, what do you mean the least that you can do? You didn't do anything wrong here OP, it's not like you kept this secret from him. I mean when you get down to it, it wasn't your secret to tell, it was Carla's secret to tell.

So the fact that Rick is suddenly putting this on you, like it's your responsibility to make it right, is complete BS. So I was going to give Rick 0 out of 5 buttholes. What he wanted was understandable, but a bit weird. But with this last sentence, I now have to give him a butthole score of 1 out of 5 buttholes. This guy's trying to blame you for something that's not your fault. I'm giving Carla 2.5 out of 5 blood holes. She was dishonest with her fiance by not giving him the full truth, and now she's expecting you to make it right as well. As for UOP, yeah, I think you're totally justified here.

If you don't want to invite me to your wedding, okay fine, you're wedding your rules. However, if you uninvite me, then you can't use my house anymore because my house, my rules. What they're basically saying, OP, is I don't want you, but I want your money. They want access to your property, they want access to your house, and when you get right down to it, they just don't want to spend money on another venue. So I'm on your side, OP, you get zero out of five but holes. That was our slash of my the but hole, on another venue.