rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Standing Up To My Ableist Teacher?

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole OP is a student who uses a wheelchair. She's had the same wheelchair for about four years, so it's starting to look a little rough. OP has a teacher who absolutely hates OP's wheelchair, and one day in class the teacher criticizes OP for having an ugly wheelchair and demands that she upgrade to a nicer one. Somehow, the teacher managed to be both ableist and classist in a single sentence. OP stood up to the teacher and pointed out that it's none of her business, but another student pointed out that OP is the butthole for that. What do you think? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is just the beginning. Stream the complete Dutton Legacy, 1883, 1923, and all seasons of Yellowstone. I love Montana, but I'm doing this far family. Paramount Plus, the streaming home of Yellowstone. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Am I the Butthole, where a student stands up to her toxic teacher. Am I the butthole for kicking my future brother-in-law out of my wedding for what he did to my kids?

My sister met her fiance Tim two years ago. Tim does not like kids, and he's made it clear how much he's uncomfortable being around them. Every time I brought my kids to my parents' house, Tim would start acting out. He would try to indirectly ban the kids from visiting their grandparents house. My dad was firm with them, but Tim never stopped trying to exclude my kids from family events. My wife and I wanted to have our wedding at our house, a small celebration. Tim asked if there was going to be kids at my wedding.

My kids were the only ones at the wedding since we didn't have many guests. He tried to talk us out of involving my kids in the wedding and making an adult only event, but I told him to keep his thoughts to himself. My kids were excited to be a part of the wedding. Tim and my sister arrived late to the wedding. The kids were with me and my wife the entire time. Tim looked visibly upset until he suddenly offered to take the kids to the bathroom so they could wash up before eating.

A few minutes later he came back and I asked where the kids were. He said he took them to their bedroom because they wanted to play with their toys and I thought this was out of character for them. I wondered why they suddenly didn't want to eat since they said that they were hungry. I wanted to go check on them but I got busy with my aunt's ankle injury. My younger sister came and told me that the kid's bedroom door was locked and the kids were inside. My wife and I were in shock and we looked for the key.

I asked my sister if she was the one who locked them in, but Tim said that he did it. He said that he was worried they'd wander around unsupervised and he wanted to make sure they were safe since everyone was busy. I took the key and let my kids out. My daughter told me that Tim said that I didn't want them to go outside and that I'd punish them if they did. They're my kids. Of course I want them to be in my wedding. My wife was speechless. I flipped out on Tim. I called him cruel, selfish, and a liar for doing this to my kids trying to exclude them. I told him to just get out. My parents argued, saying

that what I did was unnecessary since Tim was trying to help. I argued that they were unreasonable to think that I was being bitter and I explained why I kicked him out. However, they still blame me for my extreme reactions since Tim had good intentions. My wife was quiet the entire time, probably wondering what the hell kind of family she just married into. I don't blame her. My parents insist that I talk to my sister and Tim and everyone apologizes since it seemed to be a major misunderstanding. I refused, but they kept repeating the same thing. My parents said this must be a misunderstanding since Tim doesn't know how to deal with kids. However, they went quiet after they heard what my daughter said.

My sister claimed that that's just Tim's way of getting kids to behave. A little while later, my wife received an email from Tim apologizing since he couldn't reach out to me because I blocked him. My parents are pressuring my wife, asking us to be a little more graceful since Tim is apologized. However, my sister still hasn't apologized. That's why my parents want us to talk to her. So, I'm deciding to go no contact for the time being. Okay, so first things first. Locking kids in a room where they can't unlock the door is a major fire hazard. Because obviously, if the building catches on fire, the kids can't escape and other people can't get to the kids to rescue them. So, just on that level alone, Tim is automatically a butthole because he endangered your kids

lives. And also let's be honest here, Tim tried to sabotage your wedding by lying to you and your kids. You absolutely should have kicked him out because what he did way overstepped his boundaries. This dude came to your house during your wedding and locked your kids in a room. The actual audacity of this guy is insane. OP I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. This guy gets 4 out of 5 buttholes. I will say though OP it sounds like you're blaming your sister for Tim's behavior and that's not exactly fair to your sister. Unfortunately,

we're missing some information here because we don't know how your sister behaved during this event and after, so it's kinda hard to judge for sure. But at the very least, OP, I feel like going no contact with your sister is a bit much. Am I the butthole for telling my teacher to stop making comments about my wheelchair? I'm an 18 year old girl and I've had a pretty messed up pair of legs since birth. I can walk, but I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user. I'm currently doing upgrade for my chair. I've had it close to seven years and it's a bit messed up. It's gotten pretty uncomfortable and it makes noise, but like I said, I've had it seven

years and I've grown rather attached to it. My family is saving up to pay for a new one at the moment. I have one teacher, my English teacher, who constantly makes comments about how banged-up looking it is. And she gets pretty pissed anytime I dare move and it makes noise. She says it's distracting. The comments about the appearance of my chair annoy me a lot because it's hardly going to look brand new after seven years of constant use. She made a comment this morning along the lines of, You know, you should really get a new one. That one looks like it's about to collapse under you.

I got really mad about this and I said, You know what? If you think I should get a new chair so bad, then you can pay the nearly $4,000 it's gonna cost. Or you can stop making nasty comments about something that literally doesn't affect you. After that, she didn't really look at me until the end of class, but the boy who sits beside me says that it was slightly butthole's behavior, because she probably didn't realize how difficult

the process was. Am I the butthole? Somehow your teacher managed to be both classist and ableist in just a single sentence. And worst of all, she's insulting her own student, a person whom she has a professional and ethical obligation to protect. In my opinion, insulting your wheelchair is just as bad as insulting your legs. And she's judging you that your wheelchair isn't good enough. Like that's the equivalent of a teacher making fun of students for having bad clothes.

And then, on top of everything else, she's saying this in front of your peers, embarrassing you in front of your friends and classmates. I know that some people in the comments are going to say that I'm overreacting here, but in my opinion, if you discriminate against your own students and you can't even show them basic respect, then you have no right to be a teacher. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. She absolutely deserve that call out. Your teacher deserves four out of five buttholes. OP, I encourage you. You can and should go to the principal about this. Ready to get your money working harder? Switch to Quest Tradeade. Canada's number one rated online broker by MoneySense.

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I work part-time in an IT company that's very close knit. My boss, Steven and his wife, were always very sweet. During my first month, it was my boss's birthday week, so he and his wife, Melissa, were kind enough to include me in this fancy dinner they were taking everyone to. A week prior to the dinner, Melissa added everyone to a group chat and asked whether we had any suggestions on where to eat. I said that I'm fine with anything, as long as there are vegetarian options available or at least chicken. My boss brought his 15-year-old daughter, Steph, to the dinner, and she's a sweet little girl. Now, Steph was really interested in me, and she kept on asking me questions about how I

looked the way that I look. Now, I'm pretty short, 5 feet tall, but I can be somewhat deemed as fit by today's generation. I was transparent with her, and I told her that I don't restrict myself to certain foods, but rather I eat everything in moderation. Plus, I have a plant-based diet and home-cooked meal so that helps, and I also lift weights. Melissa partially overheard our conversation. She pulled me aside and told me that Steph was recovering from an eating disorder, so she encouraged me to be honest with her and not order anything that screams diet.

When I saw the menu, there were little to no vegetarian options available. They didn't have anything for me. I was very disappointed and I said, oh, there are no vegetarian options. Melissa chimed in and said that eating meat once in a while won't affect my weight. Now when I say plant-based diet, it's not that I don't eat meat. Rather, I eat chicken maybe once a week as a side dish in certain types of fish occasionally. But other than that, I mostly eat vegetarian dishes. My food habits have nothing to do with my weight, but instead because of my religion and culture.

It has nothing to do with my weight. When the waiter came, I was so glued to my menu when all the others had already ordered. Melissa said, Oh, she'll have the duck too, and I interrupted and said that, No, I'll have the garden salad. I hate salads, but there were no other vegetarian options. Melissa got quiet. After a few minutes, Melissa told me that I shouldn't have lied and let on our daughter if I was going to order a skinny salad and starve myself. She said that I'm just like those Instagram influencers who lie to impressionable young girls about their food habits and bodies.

And I just proved that by ordering a salad and giving her daughter a don't restrict yourself speech, and I probably triggered her eating disorder. I tried to explain that I only ordered a salad because there were no other options on the menu for me. And she said that I should have just sucked it up and eaten the duck because it's not going to affect my weight. So then I corrected her that this was a religious thing, not a diet thing. She said that if I eat chicken, then obviously I would eat other animals too, and I was just putting up an act. It was horrible. She completely tore me down and I left immediately. And in an edit, OP clarifies that she's Hindu and half-bromant.

OP, there's rampant hypocrisy here. They expect you to respect their daughter's eating requirements but they won't respect yours. You specifically told them that you went vegetarian options and they just ignored you. Also, I'm not 100% on this, but your boss's wife telling you what you can and can't eat sounds kind of illegal, especially since this was a work sponsored event. And if your boss's wife also works at the company, then I would say this is solid workplace discrimination. O.P., you get 0 out of 5 buttholes.

Melissa gets 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my brother that he's a terrible boyfriend after he got mad at me for helping his girlfriend? This happened a couple of days ago with my brother and me. We're 17 year old fraternal twins. His girlfriend lost her dog 2 weeks ago. So last Thursday I was getting off the bus coming home from work. I saw my brother's girlfriend around the corner a couple of blocks from my house, and she was literally crying in front of a light pole. I asked her what was up, and she said they

found her dog, but he wasn't alive. So she was going around the neighborhood taking down all the lost dog flyers, and it made her emotional looking at pictures of them. She said that she didn't think she could handle more of it because she thought that she'd be taking down the flyers for a different reason. I asked her where my brother Cody was and I said that he could come help her. She said that he was playing basketball with his friends and he didn't want to come. So I told her to tell me the streets where she put them up and I'll go take them down. I understood where she was coming from. I lost my cat years back and it sucked having to take flyers down and being reminded that they're gone. So I took down the

flyers, then on Friday, Cody was giving me a flag for literally doing his girlfriend a favor and making him look bad for not going with her. I told him it wasn't a big deal, but he didn't shut up about it all weekend and he kept being moody with me. Then he was trying to say that he was going to keep his girlfriend away from me since I'm obviously trying to make a move on her. Like WTF, I have a girlfriend I've been with for five years and I'm not a cheater. So that's when I snapped at him. First, he was the one who decided to be with his friends instead of her that night. Also, it's not my fault that he's being a terrible boyfriend since he cares more about how I made him look other than the fact that she actually got real help.

Cody got all mad and went to his room. Now my parents are saying that I was out of line and I need to apologize to him for insulting him when he's already feeling insecure. But I haven't apologized because I don't think I should, and they're acting like I was a total butthole for saying that to him. But was I though? OP, you said your brother is feeling insecure. Good.

Should he feel secure about the fact that he abandoned his crying girlfriend to play basketball with his buddies? No, of course not. To put it simply, OP, your brother was a terrible boyfriend and a terrible human being, and he deserves to feel bad about that. And then he has the audacity to get upset at you for helping his girlfriend? What a selfish jerk. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes.

Your brother gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for checking my blood sugar at my desk when my worker has a severe blood phobia? I'm a 24 year old guy who enjoys his job. I have two co-workers, Megan, a 25 year old woman, and our new co-worker, James, who's 23. The three of us each have our own office space, but because we have to frequently collaborate on work throughout the day, we're often at each other's desks. I'm a type 1 diabetic, so I take insulin and check my blood sugar throughout the day as needed. I give insulin through a pump, so that's not an

issue. Checking my blood sugar involves pricking my finger to draw a drop of blood. The blood gets sucked up into a test strip that's connected to a glucose meter and the meter displays the reading. The whole process takes like 10 seconds. I was checking my blood sugar in my office right as James walked in. Immediately his face went white. He looked like he was about to puke or faint or maybe both. I was like, dude, are you okay? He told me that he has a major blood and needle phobia and he gets therapy for it.

I explained what I was doing and why it was necessary and he said that it's freaky that I have to make myself bleed multiple times a day. He told me he never wants to accidentally walk in on me checking my blood sugar again because he could pass out. I said that if I'm checking my blood sugar and hear him coming over I can call out a warning like give me a sec. He said that won't work. Just knowing that I'm doing what I'm doing is enough to

freak him out. And that he would be stressed that I might not hear him walking over. He told me that I should check my blood in the bathroom from now on. I told him that I don't think that I should have to do that because it's unsanitary. He said another option was if I only check my blood sugar at certain times, like 9am, right before eating lunch and 4pm. That way he'd know when to avoid me. I said, these things can't always be predicted. I have to check whenever I feel my blood sugar going too high or too low. He said that he understands that I have diabetes, but he also has special needs that have to be accommodated, and that he doesn't want to have to avoid me at work, and only talk

to Megan for fear that he might see me checking again. He said that he's going to talk to HR about this, and tell them that I refuse to compromise with him. Tomorrow, I think that I'm going to talk to HR before James does, but first, I need to know that I'm in the right here. So am I the butthole for not being more accommodating of James' blood and needle phobia, and checking my blood sugar as needed at my desk? Alright OP, so the truth of this is that both of you deserve accommodation.

You have to be able to check your blood sugar and he has to be able to not be around needles in blood. So, the real adult solution is for both of you to go to HR and they should accommodate you by putting you in different offices. However, outside of that, I think that James isn't being very reasonable here. Like OP, suppose that instead of having to check your blood sugar, you were an actual physical lion, and you worked in your office, and if James ever stepped foot in your office,

you would literally eat him alive. Well, in that case, I still feel like James should be able to work with you. There's phone, email, zoom, discord, text. There's tons of ways that he can communicate with you. It's really unreasonable for James to expect you to restrict what you do in your own office. Can't he just, I don't know, knock on your office door or your cubicle wall or whatever? This whole logic of, oh I'm afraid that you won't hear me approach, what would I do then? Dude, just knock! Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5

buttholes, but I'm also giving James 0 out of 5 buttholes because he deserves a combination too. However, I have to give James like 2 out of 5, I don't know, idiot buttholes because to be honest he's being kind of dumb here. That was our slash of my The Butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow this podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day.