rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole for Suing the Girl who Destroyed My Car?
Episode Date: March 23, 2022r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP has a son who is dating a  young woman of questionable values. The girl is clearly emotionally unstable, passive, and just plain nuts. Inevitably, OP's son brea...ks up with the girl, which causes her to completely flip out and start harassing OP's son. This culminates in the girl trashing the car of OP's son. The girl's parents try to brush it off as "kids will be kids," but OP wants to press charges over the literal thousands of dollars of damage done to the vehicle. Does that make OP the butthole? Get $90 off and a free gift at Sunbasket! Go to sunbasket.com/rslash - Enter the promocode "rslash" at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to R-Slashe, am I the butthole where a jealous girlfriend completely destroys a car.
Today's episode is sponsored by Sunbasket.
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Am I the butthole for refusing to see other options for a girl and pressing charges for
what she did to my son's car?
I'm a 39 year old man.
My 17 year old son, Bryce, dated our neighbor, Lena, who's 17 for a year.
They broke up in mid-January for reasons that I don't know.
I won't sugarcoat this.
I never liked Lena.
She always seemed a little unhinged, controlling,
and aggressive. She was always demanding Bryce's attention, and there were quite a few
times when she showed up to our house out of nowhere, whether it was 7am or 11pm because
Bryce wasn't answering his phone. Then screaming and calling him a cheater when it wasn't like that.
The thought of our son getting abused by his girlfriend made us so worried.
My wife and I tried to talk him out of that relationship.
We said that it wasn't normal or healthy, but we didn't want to force the breakup because
we feared Lena would lash out at him, so we tried to do it in a sneaky way.
We don't know if it worked, but they did end up
breaking up. Bryce said that after he broke up with her, Lena didn't contact him, which was weird
because he expected her to go nuts, but I told him that if fate didn't cause him any trouble,
then he better not tempt fate. Now, the problem is that we bought my son a car for Christmas.
Nothing fancy, but enough to get him to school, his job, and eventually college.
He parked it in our driveway outside of our home.
Ever since the start of February, we've been finding scratches all over his car.
We knew that Lena was doing it, but since the damage was minimal, my son decided not to do anything,
even though we could prove that it was her.
We have security cameras. Still,
something seemed fishy to me, so I decided to switch one of the cameras facing his car directly
just in case. Well, two weeks ago we woke up, and we found my son's car covered in garbage.
Paints, glue, feathers, confetti, the door handles were wrecked, flat tires, paint all over
the windows, you get the picture.
Price and my wife were so distraught.
We called the cops, and I gave them the security footage that showed Lena and her brother
who's 23, destroying my son's car.
We press charges, and, needless to say, Lena's brother went straight to jail.
But since she's still a minor,
her parents want to make a deal, but I refused.
I don't think that she should just get away out.
Before the police showed up, she was laughing her butt off and she tried to play it cool.
If she thought this was funny, then she's old enough to face the consequences.
My wife and I want to stand our ground. The neighbor
said that they'll buy my son a better car and put Lana in therapy, but it's not enough.
Am I the butthole? Opie, are you the butthole for pressing charges when you're legally
entitled to press those charges? No. I mean, it sounds like she just straight up destroyed
your car, and cars have value and you can't just destroy other people's property whenever you want to.
Actions have consequences, which is a lesson that apparently Lena hasn't learned yet.
So if Lena's parents aren't going to teach her that lesson, then if you want to teach
her that lesson, then you have every right to.
I mean, of course your neighbors are going to be upset that you're pressing charges.
Why would they not?
No parent wants their kid to get in trouble with the law. That's to be expected, but just because it's expected doesn't
mean it's the right thing. To be honest with you, OP, I think you'd be doing Lena a favor.
This girl needs a wake-up call. Badly. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.
I'm giving Lena 3.5 out of five buttholes, and I'm giving her parents 1 out of 5 buttholes.
Am I the butthole for sitting back and doing nothing when my mom told my wife that she
take us to court for grandparents' rights?
So my wife Liz and I have been married for 7 years.
We have preschool aged kids and because we currently live in the same city as my parents,
my mom would take the kids while my wife and I work.
Between the two of us, Liz has a much larger income.
She even got a better job opportunity that requires us to move to another city.
I agreed since I could easily find a job in my field in the city we're moving to.
But after my family heard that we were selling the house to move, all hell broke loose.
On Sunday, my mom and Liz got into a huge fight because Liz told mom that we'll move
away and hire a babysitter for the kids so she's no longer needed.
My mom said that she doesn't want her grandkids moving away and she even said that we should
let the kids live at her house while we move.
Liz laughed at her and my mom lost it, basically saying that Liz was an ungrateful witch and
that her grandkids
moving will only happen over her dead body.
They began exchanging harsh words, and Liz snapped and told mom to butt out of private
matters that don't concern her.
Liz said that my mom had no right to decide things regarding the kids.
My mom firmly told her that she was dead wrong and proceeded to tell her that
she, as an involved grandmother, knows her rights and that she'll be taking Liz and
me to court to ensure that she still gets to see her grandkids.
Liz was in shock, she looked over at me and saw me just sitting there not saying or doing
anything.
She told me to check my mom, but I told Liz that she was being unfair
to my mom and that my mom had to feel upset because she will no longer be able to see her grandchildren.
I honestly told Liz that she was a bit selfish to not consider my mom's feelings and her
crucial presence in the kids' lives. Liz started arguing with me, saying that she couldn't believe
that I didn't stand behind her and defend her after hearing my mom saying that she was going to get the cord involved.
I said that my mom was upset and I can't blame her for her reaction.
Liz started yelling at me, calling me unsupportive and an enabler, then went home with the kids,
insisting that my family is my problem and I should handle it, although this whole moving thing was her
idea. The situation hasn't been resolved and Liz and my mom are getting more intense in their
fights. I choose to stay out of it because they both have valid arguments. But Liz has called me
awful for not siding with her and after seeing how my mom spoke to her and being okay with the fact
that my mom was willing to cause us issues in court, am I the butthole?
I get that Liz once my support, but I feel like my mom has been punished through no fault
to her own after being a loving grandmother of my kids.
Okay, I'm going to go back and read one sentence, because this one sentence is probably
the single most important sentence in this entire post.
Are you ready, OP?
I agreed to move since I could easily find a job in my field in the city that we're moving to.
So, what you're telling me, OP, what you're telling all of us is that you and your wife made a
decision together as a couple. Then, when that decision upsets your mom, suddenly I choose to stay out of it.
No, OP, what this is is you're willing to let your wife take the heat for your decision.
That is pathetic, unmannedly, cowardly behavior.
Then on top of that, every single person in a relationship has the responsibility to be the
intermediary between their spouse and their parents.
If my wife and my mom had an argument, I wouldn't just sit back and be like, well, good
luck you two.
No, I would intermediate because that's my responsibility.
And like, okay, I don't actually know what the grandparent rights are where you live,
but this sounds wrong to me.
I'm pretty sure that if two parents decide to just move away with
their kids, then they have every right to do so, and they should have every right to do so.
Because unless the kids are like in danger or abused or something, then parental rights
should always trump grand parental rights. Man, there's so many layers to this. And then
on top of that, someone threatens to sue you for partial custody of your own children
and your responses.
Hmm?
Not my problem, I guess.
O.P. you are out of your f*** mind.
This is without any exaggeration whatsoever, a divorceable problem, 100%.
If your partner allows someone, anyone, I don't care if it's a stranger or the government
or your own mother, to sue you to take away custody of your kids, whether fully or partially,
and they allow that to happen, that's instant divorce material.
OP, you get 5 out of 5 buttholes.
Your mother, even though I do understand her position, is way overstepping her authority
here.
She gets 4 out of 5 buttholes.
Your wife Liz gets an easy 0 out of 5 buttholes.
I honestly just can't believe how incredibly spineless you are that you literally agreed
to this decision, and then you let your own wife fall in the sword.
You let her take all the blame.
You let her get sued by your own mother.
Not my problem, I guess they both there's good points on both sides, I suppose. Pathetic
OP.
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Am I the butthole for being hostile and rude to my sister's boyfriend over a joke he
told my wife?
My sister, who's 26, brought her 30-year-old boyfriend over to our parents' house to meet
him for the first time.
My wife and I came as well.
We met the dude, and he seemed okay-ish at first, but he then started asking weird personal
questions.
My wife had breast cancer and got a single mesectomy last year.
She told the story to my sister's boyfriend and he was like, oh, then he stared at my wife
briefly, then playfully said, without even asking, I can pretty much tell which one got the
blow.
We were floored!
My wife could barely hold her composure.
She lied so she could leave the table because she was literally about to tear up.
I just looked at the dude and said, are you serious?
And he said, what?
I was just joking bro.
I asked him to explain the joke to me and he just stared.
I asked him again to explain it to me in detail, but I still got no answer.
My sister asked me to stop because clearly he was uncomfortable, but I insisted he explain
the joke to me because clearly my wife and I don't get it. Things got awkward with him avoiding
eye contact while I just stared at him the entire time. I still insisted and asked him to explain the joke
right then and there, but seconds later,
he said he needed to step outside to make a phone call.
Turns out he just went out to his car and left.
My sister had a meltdown, screaming and berating me
for how I treated her boyfriend.
She called me hostile and said that I had anger issues
to scare her boyfriend out of her parent's house. I told her he was overstepping and made my wife uncomfortable
to the point of crying. She actually called my wife such a princess and said that she's
soft and that she can't take some teasing. I had an argument with her and my parents
in her veins. I took my wife and left. My dad called me later and said that he understood how hurt my wife felt, but my sister's boyfriend
was visiting for the first time, and I showed hostility and aggression instead of just ignoring
him.
He encouraged me to reach out to him and my sister later and talk it out, but I declined.
Opie, I am 100% completely on your side for this story.
If you're not going to have your life partner's back,
then what's the point of being married in the first place?
And like apparently it's okay for him
to make your spouse feel uncomfortable,
but it's not okay for you to make him feel uncomfortable.
If anyone here is a princess, it's him.
O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes.
The boyfriend and your sister get 2.5 out of five buttholes. Your parents get one out of 5 buttholes. The boyfriend and your sister get 2.5 out of 5 buttholes.
Your parents get 1 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for kicking my sister out of
my house at night because she threw away all of my food? I seriously can't believe this
is a thing, but my parents are really upset at me. My sister and I grew up together, but
we aren't very close. It really wasn't from any drama, but rather, we just have opposite personalities and interests.
If I had to describe my attitude towards my sister, it would be apathetic love.
Like she's my sister, so I want her to be happy and healthy, but unfortunately, we just
don't hang out, call the chat, etc.
She recently received an opportunity to interview for a job near our hometown, and she reached
out to see if she could stay with me for a week.
My mother was ecstatic that my sister might be finally coming back home.
She moved across the country right after college, and she hasn't been back in almost 10 years,
except for like Christmas or the one-off birthday, slash business trip, slash vacation.
I was more than happy to open up my home,
thinking that we could maybe bond or deepen our relationship.
It was kind of awkward, but nothing really horrible happened
until the third night.
I came home from having drinks with my friends around 10 PM,
went to my kitchen for a snack,
and realized that almost all my food was gone.
I'm not even exaggerating. I swear 90% of my pantry was just gone.
I asked my sister about it and she told me that she was shocked that I ate anything with preservatives
and that I was poisoning my body. And so she took it upon herself to throw away everything that she deemed unhealthy. Guys, I'm talking about so much food, both
packaged food and unpackaged food. Even things like spices that weren't fresh were just tossed away.
It was like someone had robbed my entire kitchen. I demanded that she pay to replace everything,
but she dug in her heels and said that she was doing me a favor, and that the way that I ate was
disgusting. I know that I'm biased, but my diet isn't even all that crazy. It's pretty much standard food
that you'd find at any grocery store. I was so upset that I made her pack up and leave,
and she ended up having to take a cab about 30 minutes away to stay with my parents.
My mom is absolutely devastated that we're fighting and she insists that I apologize
to keep the peace because she really hopes that my sister will take the job and move back
home. I told my mom that if she wanted to lose not one but both daughters then she should
keep pushing me to apologize for something that I feel I have a right to be upset about.
My dad says that she's been crying every night since then, and I love my mom so much that
I feel like a huge butthole for being stubborn about this situation.
Then OP posted an update.
I did the math, and she threw away close to $1,000 worth of food.
It includes dried pasta, ground beef, precutcut vegetables in a container, juice, can soup,
rice, chicken broth, leftovers, and even bread because it was white bread.
This isn't even close to the start of my list.
Opie, I thought that you were exaggerating about it being just normal grocery store food,
but no.
This type of stuff isn't pretty much every single kitchen in America.
Okay, so obviously, obviously your sister's being a huge butthole here.
Like, there's the basic level of she disrespected you when she's a guest in your house.
Like, this is your house, your property, your home, and she's just disrespecting it.
And then there's the added level of like the actual monetary value that she destroyed.
This is a thousand bucks. If she wanted to replace your food and be like, Hey, I thought that you were eating unhealthy. Let me buy you groceries
and you can see how nice it is to eat fresh healthy food. And that's a completely different
story. That requires permission from you. It respects your like right to decide which you want
to eat yourself. And it's her buying groceries instead. But no, she didn't do that because she's a butthole.
OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.
You're completely justified in your anger.
I'm giving your sister three out of five buttholes
and I'm giving your mom one out of five buttholes.
That was our slash of my the butthole.
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