rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole for Traumatizing My Boyfriend by Peeing Outside?

Episode Date: December 29, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP is a young woman whose boyfriend absolutely loves to go hiking. She agrees to go on a hiking trail with her boyfriend. He constantly forces her to drink water, so naturally she really feels the urge to go while she's on the trail. Eventually, she can't hold it anymore and has to go behind a bush. OP's boyfriend becomes FURIOUS with her for "ruining" his favorite hiking trail. Is OP the butthole in this situation? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash Am I the butthole where OP straight up admits to abusing her teenage daughter? Am I the butthole for not being sorry that I didn't believe my daughter's knee was hurting? I have a 15 year old daughter and my husband is currently out of town. I have a lot of projects that need to be done in my yard and I really need her help. On Friday, she told me that her knee was hurting after her run and she was limping. I told her, it's funny how your body always seems to malfunction when I need your help. You can just stay in bed all day if you want, because it's true. She has a history of feigning ailments in order to get out of things she doesn't want to do.

She hasn't done it much since she was around 9, but I still have trouble trusting her when she says something's wrong. She said she would help me, and I told her we could take her to the emergency room if her knee still hurt by the time the yard work was done. We worked the whole weekend, and she complained a lot. But I was almost certain that she would magically be better by the end of the weekend. This morning though, she said her knee was hurting badly, and she could hardly walk. So I took her to the emergency room. It turns out she sprained her knee. I had told her to tell them that it only started hurting

today, but she said it started hurting Friday and I was questioned. Fortunately, nothing bad happened. But they said that due to how much she's had to use her knee after it was injured, it'll take longer to recover. I decided, oh my god, OP. Oh my god. O.P. when I started reading this next sentence, I had a glimmer of hope. I really did, but god you're a f***ing fool. I decided to keep her home from school today, because I don't necessarily want her telling people that I had her doing work when she told me that her knee hurts.

This wouldn't be getting the full story or context, and she has a tendency to exaggerate when I do something wrong. I do feel slightly guilty, but I told her this wouldn't have gotten to this point if she didn't have this history of lying. She's pissed at me, and she told me that she was in terrible pain all weekend, and that she couldn't believe that I didn't trust her. She doesn't seem very interested in talking to me, but I feel like this is partially her

fault for creating a situation in which I couldn't trust her. Am I the butthole for not wanting to apologize? Let me rephrase this, OP. Let me rewrite the ending here for you. Am I the butthole for abusing my child? Yes, OP. Yes. Like, let's recap. First of all, you ignored your daughter's complaints about her leg and just assumed that she was lying when, in reality, she was injured. Then, to make things worse, you made her work on that injury knee which made the injury actually worse. Then you told her to lie to a doctor just so that you would save face.

Then you kept her home not because she was in pain, not because she needed to recover, but because you didn't want your daughter badmouthing you to other people. Oh god. And then you're trying to blame her for all of this saying, well none of this wouldn't happen if you hadn't lied when you were nine. Of course she lied when she was nine. That's what nine-year-olds do, lady. What kind of screwed up parent tries to like, well, I would trust you, but you lied to me when you were nine,

so I just can't really trust you now, can I? Do you not understand how insane that sentence is? And now, after being wrong, on top of being wrong, on top of being wrong, on top of being wrong, you're like, well, I know when we apologize, so yeah. Opie, you sound like a genuinely terrible parent. You really, really do. You were saying that, like, your daughter has a tendency to exaggerate things, and we're getting your side of the story, and your side of the story is obviously going to make

you look good here. And still, your version of the story and your side of the story is obviously gonna make you look good here And still your version of the story makes you look like trash garbage like a terrible parent OP Wow. Oh man, the more I think Oh my god the more I think about the story the worse it gets You assume that your daughter was lying because six years ago when she was nine years old she used to lie a lot When you get to the doctor you command her to lie so you're questioning your daughter's integrity because you think she's a liar and then you're telling her to lie Hmm Okay, seems like really consistent high-quality parenting OP. Do you guys know what fractals are?

It's this like style of art that's made with a like a math algorithm or something. So as a result, you can infinitely zoom in and you can infinitely zoom out and the art is like still a piece of art. OP, you are frackedally wrong here. It doesn't matter how closely we look at this story. It doesn't matter how far back we pull back and look at the big picture. You're still wrong. you're frackedally wrong. I'm giving you 5 out of 5 buttholes OP. If this is your version of the story that you think makes you look good, then the reality is probably 10 times worse.

Am I the butthole for outing my ex's gay to get his mother off my back? It's a long and sucky story, but I'm a 25 year old woman, and my soon to be ex, a 28 year old guy, is gay and he hid that from me. I found out because I caught him cheating, and he basically admitted that he knew that he wasn't attracted to me in that way, but that he wanted kids and to have a normal life. I don't care that he's gay, but I will never forgive him for leading me on so he could use me to have a normal life. I don't care that he's gay, but I will never forgive him for leading me on so he could use me to have kids. So it's over, end of story.

The problem is that his family are fundamentalist nut jobs, except for a few family members, and his mother is the interfering mother-in-law from hell. Not being related to her anymore is another plus of breaking up with my husband. His family doesn't believe in divorce. So, under the guise of picking up some paperwork and other items I'd found out that were at my ex's, she cornered me about how I'm being childish and marriages about commitment, forgiveness, and working through problems, etc. It became apparent that

my ex didn't tell his family that he cheated. He told his mom that I was divorcing him because we weren't having enough intercourse for me. I tried to be patient and explained that he cheated and that's why I was divorcing him. I wasn't going to go into greater detail because I know how his parents are and it's none of their business. My mother-in-law's advice, I kid you not, was that Miner just built that way, and that if I wanted to have more intercourse and for him to not stray, then I should make myself more attractive to my husband and be a better wife. I lost the plot completely.

It had been a sad and hard day already, and that was the last straw. Here's where I think that I might be the butthole. I told her that the only thing that would make me more attractive to my ex would be a sex change operation, and that I hope that he and his boyfriend adopted her some grandkids so that she could finally shut the hell up about it. It's not my finest moment, but she just hit the worst and rawest nerve that she could have, and I exploded. It's evidently turned into a huge family drama. He's probably going to be

disowned and my ex called sobbing that I've ruined his life out of spite. I don't really know how to feel about it. I do feel bad for him that his parents are such awful people and there were just no good outcomes for him. But I also feel like he made his own bid here too. What? He's gonna call you up and say that you had the nerve to ruin his life when he's the one who was off cheating on you while using you for your uterus, just your uterus so that you're a beard essentially OP. He was using you as a beard, a beard with a uterus so that he could trick his family into thinking that he was straight while he was cheating on you. And you ruined his life?

Oh my God, this is ridiculous. What a nut job. Honestly, OP, this is completely, completely not on your shoulders. He's the one who lied to his manipulative mother-in-law, which put you in a position where you're the bad guy, even though you did nothing wrong. So like, what does he expect if confronted

that you were just gonna bite your tongue and be like, oh yeah, I'm just such a slut. I mean, I can't help it. I just need dicks at me 24-7 because I'm such a whore. And your sweet little Christian son was just too good for me, so I had to dump him so I could suck dick behind the winters every night. I'm not in the gay community, so I can't really speak from a position where I fully understand what it means to out someone against their will. I know that it's awful and that in general it's considered to be a very terrible thing to do.

But honestly, what are you supposed to do in this situation OP because you're the victim here. Everyone in this family is treating you like a slut when you did nothing wrong when you're the victim and you were just defending yourself what you have every right to do. Oh man sometimes the only option is the nuclear option and you took the nuclear option OP so I do think that some people will give you the butthole score because outing someone is pretty bad but personally I'm gonna give you a pass OP I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes I'm giving your husband 5 out of 5 buttholes.

Not because he's gay, I mean it's okay that he's gay, but because he cheated and he lied and he used you exclusively for your uterus, which is honestly just awful. I'm giving your mother-in-law 4 out of 5 buttholes. The fact that she told you to be hotter for him and just forgive the cheating? Honestly, what a delusional lady. That is just crazy. Am I the butthole for ruining my boyfriend's favorite hiking trail? I'm a 22 year old woman and my boyfriend who's 24 isn't avid outdoorsman. He grew up camping and hiking often.

I, on the other hand, did not. I think I went camping once when I was a little kid, and I sat in my grandma's RV pouting the entire time. My boyfriend and I have not been dating for six months, and as a little anniversary present, my boyfriend wanted to take me to his favorite hiking spot. We live in a warmer state, so hiking this time of the year isn't abnormal. I was a little nervous about it, but I agreed because I definitely see him as the person I'm going to marry, which means adapting to his lifestyle as well. So we went on a sunrise hike up a mountain that was a little over

an hour away from us. The hike was just over three miles total, and it wasn't too difficult for beginners. Before going, my boyfriend gave me the safety rundown and pushed that I drank a ton of water. When we got to the trailhead, I had to pee slightly, and I mentioned to my boyfriend that I had to find the bathroom. But, he just brushed me off and suggested we get going so we don't miss the most beautiful part of the sunrise, so I agreed. During the first half of the hike, my boyfriend kept pushing for me to drink water to the point

where I felt like I was going to throw up and my bladder was going to explode. When we got to the best part of the hike, we sat there for a few minutes because I mentioned hitting back down because at that point I really needed to find the bathroom. My boyfriend insisted that we stay for a few more minutes until I finally dragged him up. Listen, I have never peed outside my entire life, but I must have drank so much water that my bladder just couldn't take it. Before we even made it back down, I knew that I was about to pee my pants. I kept mentioning it to my boyfriend, and he kept comforting me, saying that it was okay,

saying I can make it. Unfortunately, I could not make it. I apologize profusely, but I told him I had to duck behind a big rock a little ways off the trailhead to pee or I was gonna pee my pants. He was angry, scoffed and huffed as I asked him to stand watch, but instead he just did by the trail angry as ever. And to make matters worse, an older couple that was cutting through some of the bush walked right past me, but didn't say anything. So, yeah, my boyfriend is understandably furious with me. Not only for exposing myself on our hike, but also for rushing our beautiful view.

This is his favorite hiking spot, and I ruined it. I feel terrible, but I also feel like it was something that I couldn't control. Am I the butthole? What? If your boyfriend is this pissed off that you peed on his favorite hiking trail, then wait until he finds out we're all the animals pee. Like, what's the big deal? People pee outside all the time, and I'm sure on longer trails, yeah, sometimes people need to drop trow and just let one go. I mean it's called nature calling and you're in nature. What's the problem here man? And and like more importantly than that, why is he so angry about it?

O.P. you said the line, so yeah my boyfriend is understandably furious for me. And you said that you ruined his favorite hiking spot. I wonder if this is your thinking and not his thinking because no, it's not understandably furious with me. There's no reason for him to be mad. And you didn't ruin a hiking trail because countless of people have peed on a hiking trail and millions upon millions of animals since the beginning of time. There's probably not a piece of land on all of Planet Earth where you can step where an animal hasn't already peed there. I don't know, I don't go on hikes, I'm lazy, I stay at home in my pajamas and play

video games for fun, man. So what does this guy think, like what are you supposed to do when you're on a hiking trail and you gotta go? It's gotta happen all the time. Does this dude like take a dump or pee in a ziplock bag and then just stuff it in his backpack and carry it with him? I don't know what you do. Surely when people have to pee, they just pee.

It's not a big deal. I think that when you go number two, you're supposed to like bury it or something or I don't know, but still, this is just pee, man. People pee on trees all the time. Opie, your boyfriend is being absolutely ridiculous. This feels so weird for me. Opie, I boyfriend is being absolutely ridiculous. This feels so weird for me. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your boyfriend, let's say,

1.5 out of 5 buttholes, and I'd also like to point out that this really feels like red flag behavior. Am I the butthole for not attending my daughter's gender reveal party for her lizard? This is literally really stupid, but she's really upset about it. So I'm 48 years old, and my 23 year old daughter has a blue tongue skink whom she heavily adores. She jokingly refers to it as her daughter. I find it weird, but she says it's the closest thing she'd have to a child, and she feels a strong emotional bond with it, similar to a child. She's decided to remain child free for multiple reasons, and I've been very supportive of this decision. Well, she recently took her skin to the vet

for a check-up, and she was excited to find out her skin's gender. Afterwards, I got a text asking if I would come to her gender reveal party that she was having. She explained that it was just a small get-together with cake and food for her friends that she hadn't seen in a while, with a gender reveal being mostly a joke, and a way to make fun of real Agenda Reveals. Well, I didn't come. I didn't see a point. It's just a lizard, and I'm a busy person.

She later called me and expressed that she was kind of sad that I didn't come, because it had been a while since I'd seen her, but she understood that I was busy. I told her she couldn't actually expect me to come to a gender reveal party for a lizard. She said that it wasn't a real gender reveal, that it was more of a joke, and it was really just a small gathering to catch up with everyone. I told her if that was the case, then she should have just called it a gathering because I'm not coming to a gender reveal unless it's for a real granddaughter. She got quiet for a minute

and then turned my words around, claiming that I wasn't supportive of her decision to be child-free. I told her that she can't possibly expect me to treat a lizard as a granddaughter, and she said that she didn't expect me to, but it was clear that I didn't respect her bond with her lizard and her decision. And she just wanted to see me, and my reason for coming was hurtful. I told her she was being ridiculous over a lizard. She claimed that it wasn't over a lizard, and it was a gathering and not even centered around a lizard, but I stuck by what I said. It's ridiculous to have a gender reveal for a lizard. She hung up, and I got a message from her best friend about how I'm the butthole for tweeting her that way.

But I don't think that I'm the butthole for not wanting to go to a party for a lizard. Oh, man, Opie. Okay, so are you the butthole for not wanting to go to a party that has a lizard? No, that doesn't make you a butthole, but how you handle the situation with your daughter does make you a butthole. Like if you don't want to go to the party, okay, don't go to the party, but it's important to your daughter, clearly it's important. So why would you trash on it and dump on her? Like honestly, it doesn't matter what it is, if it's a lizard, or if she's into cars, or into video games, or into sports.

The point is, she's deeply passionate about something, and she had a sort of tongue-in-cheek party about one of her passions and you Trashed on it and dumped on it and you're like, oh, well, it's not as important as a real daughter So why would I come to that? This isn't about a party. It's not about a lizard. This is about you the mother Trashing on your daughter's interest and saying no, you don't want to spend time with her unless it involves a real granddaughter, which is insulting. So yeah, your daughter has every right to be upset because you were acting upsetting. I think I understand why your daughter is so into lizards because her mom has the personality

of a lizard. So it makes sense, right? O.P. I'm giving you two out of five buttholes. Your daughter obviously gets zero out of 5 buttholes. She's completely innocent here. That was our slashamay the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.