rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole I Reported My Girlfriend to the Cops!

Episode Date: June 6, 2020

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP likes to work on cars and is in the process of restoring an old Impala, which is taking up all of the space in his garage. His girlfriend complains because she wants to park her car in his garage, but he refuses. So, while OP is away, she secretly steals her boyfriend's car and sells it to for scrap. When OP finds out, he goes full nuclear and has it investigated as a crime! Is he a butthole for selling out his girlfriend? If you like this podcast, subscribe to my channel for more daily Reddit content! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/Rtwc9ZC 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home Welcome to our slash a podcast where I read the best posts from across reddit today So reddit is our slash am I the butthole? Am I the butthole for telling my wife that were both pregnant? I know this sounds bad, but hear me out I'm using a throwaway because my wife uses reddit, so reddit don't upvote this. I just want honest feedback. And side note, this post has 28,000 upvotes. I'm a 27 year old male

and my 29 year old wife and I do well financially. So we decided to have our fourth child. Every single pregnancy we've been through, my wife has been a complete nightmare. Some things I can deal with, like waking up to the sound of her, shooting her guts out every morning. But when she starts demanding, I go to the store every day to get her snacks or set up her foot bath thingy

because her feet are swollen, I get a little impatient. I work way longer hours than her in a much more physically demanding profession. Oh man, I'm sorry, I can already tell why everyone upboathed this, because this guy's a butthole. Okay, anyways. I'm a plumber, she's an engineer, so I think we're putting an equal amount of effort into this baby.

And it's not like I don't help around the house, either. She does all the cooking and dishes, but I do laundry. Take out garbage and mow the lawn. We pay someone to do the floors and bathrooms weekly. My mother-in-law comes over to help with the kids because she says I'm useless. I've been meaning to make a just no mother-in-law post about her. And while I appreciate the help, I'm sick of our garbage. Just because I want one hour of video games to myself a day instead of cleaning up messes in the kitchen doesn't mean I'm useless. This all came to a head yesterday when my wife screamed at me from the kitchen to get off

my butt and entertain our twins so she could focus on her meatloaf. This guy's such a jerk. I made a dumb joke about how this is the third meatloaf we'll be eating this week and she lost her cool. She told me how I have no sympathy for the fact that she's pregnant. I should be taking on more of her chores since I can't breastfeed, but then I reminded her that I still work a lot more hours than her, so I think we're basically both pregnant. She got really quiet and has only spoken to me regarding the kids since. I don't think I'm wrong, but I'll apologize to her if it makes her happy. Am I the butthole here? Yes, OP. Yes, you're the butthole. Are you honestly comparing her

waking up in the middle of the night to puke? To you being woken up by her puke? These two things are not equal. Hers is much, much worse. And you're complaining that she wanted you to do a chore while you were playing video games and she was doing a chore? Sorry, but you get no sympathy for me. So what if you don't get one hour of alone time? Let's not forget that your wife gets zero hours of alone time because she's literally growing a human inside of her. Oh, P, you're absolutely clueless and I feel sorry for your wife. You get four out of five buttholes. Your wife gets zero out of five buttholes.

And PS, if you're tired of meatloaf, why don't you cook something different? Am I the butthole for telling my mom to not have any more kids? I, a 16 year old female, live with my parents and 11 siblings. I'm the fourth kid and the ages range from 20 to 1. We live in a four-bit room house, but it's so cramped with everyone in bunks and no privacy.

My parents also put most of the responsibility of the younger kids on us while they lay down and watch TV. True, they can have their breaks, but they have them so often that I don't really get to be a teenager. Last night, after my mom told me to put my two three-year-old siblings to bed, I told her to do it herself as I need to study. She said that it's my responsibility as an older child. I lost my temper and told her that she can't take care of her 12 kids as it is, and that she should give up her dream of 15 children because she's depriving the younger ones of a better life. Am I the butthole? No, OP, you are not the butthole. Basically, the only way that your mom's dream is even remotely viable is if she forces

all the older kids into free slave labor. It was your parent's choice to have this many kids, not yours, so it's not your responsibility to take care of them. Honestly, your parents seem incredibly selfish, they both get 4 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for suing my girlfriend after she had my 1967 Impala project taken to the scrap yard? I'll try to keep this short. I had a 1967 Impala 4 door that I bought in February 2019.

A couple of months ago, I bought my first house that had a 2.5 car garage. I moved the car in and started tearing it down for a complete restoration. I had the body in one bay in the chassis in another, plus the whole garage filled with parts. About two months ago, my girlfriend came to live with me during this whole crisis, and the whole time she's hated that car. She wants to park in the garage, but I had two acres of land with a lot of nice places to park under shady trees, or hell, even in the barn if it has to be inside. I tell her tough look, it's my house and it's not like I can just throw it back together real quick.

Anyways, I was out of town for a couple of days on a business trip for a small local company I work for. When I got back, my girlfriend was all smiles, making me food all the time, doing all the chores, all that. I thought maybe she was just happy to have me home, but then I realized that I didn't see her car in its usual spot. I asked her where she parked so I could make sure I mo that area and keep it clean, and she said not to worry because she parked in the garage.

I asked her how, and she told me to go check it out. Turns out that while I was gone, she hired some people to come over and move everything related to that car, including the drive train, body, and chassis and all parts, and take it to the local dump and scrap yard. I was absolutely dumbfounded. I'd spent over $11,000 on that car, including new parts, services, and the car itself. I told her that I was going to be taking her to court for that, and she brushed me off like I was being dramatic.

I told her that it's done between us, and to pack her things and leave. I admit I was really angry, but I did end up getting a lawyer. And as I have all the receipts for all that money spent, and I have her on my house's security cam footage letting the guys in and watching them take it all, I think I can win. Her family and friends are absolutely blowing me up saying it's just a stupid old piece of junk and that she can't pay back all that money I spent and that I should just let it go. But I've been putting all my time, effort and money into that car for a year and a half

now. And god dang it if I'm not going to get justice for what she did. Am I the butthole? Hmm, I think there's a term for this. Grand theft auto. My God OP, what even persuaded you to make this post? This is one of the most clear cut examples of not being the butthole I have ever seen on this subreddit. She stole a 5 figure car that was parked on your property and expects to just get away

with it Scott free? No, I don't think so. I'm glad that at least you have the good sense to kick her to the curb. I'm not the type of guy to pick a car over a girl, but what she did was incredibly disrespectful. And also we have an update from OP. I went to the police station last night and was told to come back in the morning. I just got back and found an official report against her for Grand Larceny and Grand Theft Auto. I showed them all the receipts I had for the car and the footage of her letting the guys come

and take it as well as the title for the vehicle and my name. They said they'll be in contact with all three parties, me, my ex-girlfriend, and the junkyard guys, and they'll hopefully be able to recover some or all of the car. I just have to wait now. Huge update. They found my car! The junkyard guys, apparently, were in the middle of hiding it when the police came to ask them questions. It was on a forklift, and they were going to put it on top of a pile of cars that was hidden behind more piles of cars. They said it was theirs and they had the title, but obviously didn't have the title for it.

And since they matched the vent on the chassis and body to the vent on my title, it was obviously mine. I know at least one person there has been arrested. I think he was in the camera footage I talked about earlier, but I don't know if it was the boss or whomever or even his specific charge. They also told me they would be looking into the specific junkyard for any other vehicles reported to Olan. They said they haven't been able to get in contact with my ex just yet, but they're

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Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks, and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Am I the butthole for telling my daughter to speak French to leave my house? My grandparents escaped France at the start of World War II. They lived in hiding during the war and after the war they started life over in America. So my French ancestry is very important to me. I speak French and my four children speak French. I'm a single dad. Two of my children are

still teens in living with me and my oldest two daughters are staying with me right now until the whole situation ends. My oldest daughter brought her boyfriend with her. My children and I all speak French to each other inside the house. Ever since she brought her boyfriend with her. My children and I all speak French to each other inside the house. Ever since she brought her boyfriend home, my oldest daughter will not speak French. I'll ask her a question in French and she'll answer in English. I asked her why, and she says she doesn't want to alienate her boyfriend because everyone would be speaking French except him. I told her that she can speak French or leave.

Now my daughter won't talk to me in any language and my other children think I was too harsh. Am I the butthole? We we OP. Boku butthole. OP, a guest comes into your house and you refuse to utter a single word to them. And on top of that, when your daughter challenges you, you threaten to kick her out in the middle of the coronavirus quarantine. Come on, Hopi.

In what universe are you not the butthole here? Am I the butthole for putting my dog's wavy pads on the bathroom floor because my boyfriend has bad aim and keeps missing the toilet? My boyfriend's 30 years old and I'm a 28 year old female and we've been together for about a year. And when our city implemented lockdown for the virus, he decided to quarantine with me at my department as I live alone and have a nicer apartment and he has several roommates. Mostly it's been going well and thankfully we both still have jobs, except in the first

few weeks I started noticing that the bathroom floor was suddenly always wet around the toilet. The sink is across the room from the toilet so it's unlikely to be from the sink. At first I thought it might be water and soon realized that it was definitely pee. I asked my boyfriend about it nicely and he apologized and said sometimes he has bad aim. I asked him to try a little harder and he said sure. The floor continued to be frequently spattered with pee and a few weeks later I confronted him again because I think it's pretty gross to step in pee's several times a week, and it seems like an easy thing to fix. If he misses the toilet,

I think the very least he could do is make sure to wipe it up with toilet paper or a chlorox wipe. The cleaning supplies even live in a cabinet directly over the toilet. He said, sure, sorry, he would try to remember to do that. Another week has passed, and while maybe he's doing this sometimes, I've continued to step in spotters of his pee and wipe it off the floor and clean the floor several times a week. I thought about asking him to just pee into the bathtub or something instead, but I don't understand how you can pee on the floor by accident so often and not notice and not clean it up.

Last night I got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and absolutely stepped in pee for the billionth time. I just had it and didn't want to pick a fighter, ask him again since it seems clear he can't or won't change. So I got one of my dogs, Willy Paz, from when he was a puppy. He's well trained now. And cut it up a bit and tape it down to make a sort of skirt or mat around the floor near the toilet to at least absorb the pee. My boyfriend saw this morning and is furious with me, saying that I'm calling him a dog, comparing him to an animal, etc. Honestly, I wasn't thinking that at all. I was just trying to be resourceful and solve the problem for myself since I don't like pee on my bathroom floor and don't like stepping in it. I didn't feel like arguing about it anymore and putting material specifically meant to

absorb pee around the area he keeps peeing on by accident seemed like a practical solution. In I the Butthole? So OP, you're in luck. As a guy, I have a lifetime of experience in peeing while standing up. And I can say definitively that your boyfriend is definitely the butthole in the situation. There's literally no excuse for missing the toilet that much. I mean, is he doing the Harlem Shake while he pees or something? I can count the times I've stepped in pee on one hand, because either I don't miss, or if you do, then you just clean it

up like a normal human adult. So, O.P, you get zero out of five buttles and your boyfriend gets three out of five buttles. Seriously, grow up. Am I the buttle for praising my son differently than my daughter? I, a 52 year old male, am the father of three kids, a 15 year old girl, a seven year old girl, and a seven year old boy. The last two are twins and are very close, having the tendency to copy each other. I love and adore them all equally. My son is not a very masculine kid and is less interested in some of my hobbies because of this. He's always preferred whatever his mother and older sister did, like baking or dancing.

I have no problem with this. I love him as he is, but to be honest, I'm slightly disappointed that we haven't had the kind of amazing father son bonding that I got to have with my grandpa when I was a kid. My dad died when I was pretty young. Since I'm at home almost all the time now, I've been seeing just how feminine his interests have gotten. Asking to help cook every meal, helping his older sister alter secondhand clothes and playing pretend. He even asked to have his sister paint his nails. I'm not upset

or bothered by it, but it isn't typical for young boys. I've been working at it at home and sit at the gym because of the current circumstances, and when my son came in while I was lifting weights in the family room, he showed interest in it. He was excited about the idea of having big muscles and tried out some of the five pound ones. Even though he mentioned being like Shira, it was still progress in my eyes and it seemed like he was showing interest in masculine hobbies. I praised him and did the whole, wow, you're so strong thing in kid talk to encourage him. When his sisters walked in, the twin joined in. Like I said, they had the tendency to want to do what the other is doing, so she expected the same kind of, wow, so strong stuff.

When I wasn't as enthusiastic with her and focused on my son, my oldest got annoyed and asked why I was treating them differently. I explained to her that because he hadn't taken interest in these kinds of masculine hobbies before, I wouldn't have fostered his own identity as a boy separate from his twin sister. She accused me of being misogynistic for this. She then said that I was the butthole for making his sister feel weaker and implying that I didn't approve of his feminine interests. I don't think I'm the butthole because there's no reason for my daughter to be inclined towards

this kind of thing, but my son should be developing a more masculine personality as he gets older. When she told my wife, 41, she also blew up at me, saying I was acting like a cartoon misogynist. Both of them are pissed, So reddit. Am I the butthole? Yeah, OP, I'd say you're the butthole here. Based on your post, it really does seem like you love your kids But you're a little misguided on gender roles here. There's nothing wrong with the guy being interested in traditionally feminine things or a girl being interested in something that's traditionally masculine. And most importantly, it's very clear that you aren't supporting your kids to be their true selves.

You're trying to push them to become the people that you want them to be, and not the people that they want to be. So I'd say it kind of feels like your heart's in the right place, but your methodology is way off, so I'll give you two out of five buttolls. And then everyone will be happy to hear that OP posted an update. Hey everyone, I was 100% the butthole. I appreciate that some people tried to empathize and say not the butthole to be charitable, but I'm in the wrong here.

And I knew it deep down while I was writing this post. Re-reading it, I feel ridiculous for writing that all out. I want to say thank you, because these comments were the objective kick in the butt I really needed. I realize now that I was really out of line for saying that stuff and making my daughters feel that way. I set up a stupid false dichotomy and my daughter was very right. I was being a misogynist.

No excuse for that. I apologize to both of them and my wife and hour after I posted. That was R-slash-imide the butthole, and this is R-slash-puppie bloopers. You go, that is the noisiest toy. That is the noisiest toy. You want me to play with you? Oh my god. Dog. You go.

Come on. I'm recording. Puppie. Puppie. You want me to chase you, but I'm not gonna. Come here. Puppie. Puppie.

Are you proud? You proud you got your noisy toy? You go. Come here. Come here. Oh god. Are you proud? You proud you got your noisy toy? You go, come here. Come here. Oh God.