rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole Idiot Customer Orders Garlic-Free Garlic Bread

Episode Date: April 30, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole OP works as a waiter, and he comes across a rather unusual customer. This pregnant lady has a craving for garlic bread; however, she says that the smell of garlic makes her nauseous, so she wants garlic-free garlic bread. OP asks... "Do you mean regular bread?" The lady screams at OP and insists that she wants garlic bread, but without the garlic. But, lady, garlic bread is just regular bread with garlic butter! After much arguing, OP just decides to bring out normal bread with garlic butter on the side, and the woman happily gobbles up all of it. What? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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on the same points vet app, the platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do. Bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post-emercross reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Am I the Butthole, where a customer asks for garlic-free garlic bread.

It might the butthole for bringing out regular bread when a pregnant woman ordered garlic-free garlic bread? I'm a waitress at a restaurant. Earlier, a pregnant woman came in with her husband. When I went to get their orders, the woman asked for garlic-free garlic bread. I advised her that our garlic bread was just our regular bread, but with garlic butter instead of regular butter. And I asked her to clarify if she just wanted regular bread. But she insisted that no, she wanted our garlic bread just without the garlic. I let her know that she could just order regular bread and it would be a dollar less expensive, but she insisted that she had a huge craving for garlic bread just without the garlic. I wasn't really sure what to do, but her husband got angry and said something like,

can't you see that she's pregnant? It's not that hard to just bring out the garlic bread without the garlic. So I took her order and told the kitchen that she wanted garlic bread without the garlic. The kitchen staff thought that I was being snarky, but they brought out the regular bread for her. This woman immediately starts crying and asking me if I was treating her like an idiot.

How could you treat a pregnant woman so badly? Is it that hard to make garlic bread without the garlic? But literally, we do nothing different to our garlic bread except use garlic butter instead of regular butter. Her husband flagged on a manager telling her that I was being condescending and that his wife had been craving this all week, but garlic was making her nauseous. The manager came over and I explained what was going on. The manager apologized and took the bread back and told me to just bring out another loaf of bread with garlic butter on the side. I was a little annoyed,

but I did it and I gave it to them. The husband got angry again and told the manager that I was being intentionally difficult and cruel. Then he and his wife left. Who, by the way, ate the garlic-free garlic bread using the garlic butter? This just feels bizarre to me. Neither me or my manager was really sure how to handle this. It might the butthole for bringing out regular bread when the woman ordered garlic-free garlic bread. Opie, I'm with you on this one. I sort of feel like nowadays, if you're a waiter and someone asks for a garlic-free garlic bread, then I'd be like, okay, where's the camera?

Is this some sort of stupid YouTube prank channel? But these people aren't pranksters, they're just stupid. Now, my guess is what they really wanted was like that flat Italian bread, but toasted and then brushed with butter, because that's what garlic bread is essentially right? It's just bread toasted with butter and garlic. However, if that's what they really wanted, then there's like a normal human way to explain that. You just come in and say like, hey, so my wife really wants garlic bread, however garlic is making her nauseous. So is there any way that you can bring out like toasted bread with butter on it, but just make sure that there's no garlic on it at all?

Right, that's the normal human way to ask for garlic bread without garlic. But you can't just go into McDonald's and say, I want a cheeseburger without the cheese, and then get angry when they give you a hamburger. Am I the butthole for making a wall of shame for people who stole from my mom's garden? My mom is really into gardening, and sometimes people come by and steal potted plants, yard statues, and they've even dug whole plant bulbs with plants out of the ground. Or they'll cut roses off of her bushes because they're too cheap to buy from the florist, I guess.

Anyway, I parked my car in the driveway, and my dash cam is caught almost to all of these robberies. So as a way to help my mom maybe not have her plants stolen, I printed all their pictures out and made a poster that said, oh hey there, don't be at daffy dill and steal, or else you might end up doing hard time. We hope this will be a lesson to you. And for those of you who are listening but not watching, this includes tons of corny puns. Like, you'll end up doing hard time. We hope this will be a lesson to you and then you spelled Y-W. Then I put pictures of everyone stealing from the garden on my poster. I also gave each person a funny fake name like Mr. Potato Head, Dilleton, Pot Head,

Prick, Sucker, IP&E in my pants, Fronless, Dirtbag, Infertil, and Rootboy. I thought it was funny and cutesy. Like, how can you be offended with dumb plant puns? My mom thought that it was hilarious, and she wanted me to hang it up because she was sick of stuff being stolen. But, I got a couple of complaints. One neighbor said that I have to take it down because I had a picture of his son, a

minor. Who did something dumb, yes, but was just trying to bring a sick girlfriend some flowers, and that it was disproportionate and rude to publicly shame him. I told my neighbor that it wasn't that big of a deal, and he told me that I was being petty. I called his kid a little birch, which pissed him off, and honestly, it might have been petty. Another guy came to the house and returned to cutting his wife apparently took to propagate, thinking that it would be no big deal. But yeah, this guy's wife

damaged a plant because she cut like a quarter of it off. And he asked if we'd take down the sign because she was on the board of directors for the town or something. My mom answered the door and told him to make like a bee and buzz off. Am I the butthole making a petty sign about people stealing from my mom's garden hoping to get them to stop? Now to be clear OP, yes, what you did was definitely petty. However, just because something is petty doesn't mean that it's unjustified. Like your neighbor with the sun was complaining that you were publicly shaming the sun? How does this guy think the legal system actually works? Getting arrested, going to court, being sentenced, yeah, those are all public shaming. The fact that you publicly shamed this kid without getting the legal system involved means

that you were doing this kid a favor. And the woman who wants to sign taken down because she's on the town council or whatever? Well, maybe she should have considered that before she stole your plants. OP, you get zero out of five buttolls. This is just a bunch of whiny criminals who are upset that they got caught. This reminds me, I just saw a TikTok where like this guy was on the street next to his car. And this second guy comes up to the first guy and pulls a gun on the first guy, clearly

trying to rob him. But somehow, the first guy knocked the gun out of the second guy's hand and then picked up the second guy and body slammed him. And the exact second that the first guy got his hands on the second guy, the second guy was screaming, Chulau Pro, Chulau, ah! Everyone's a gangster until they suffer the consequences of their stupid decisions. Also, I've gotta read some of these replies.

Not the butthole. If they don't like it, they can get clover it. Not the butthole. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. So anyways, OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. The thieves get 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my daughter that she's getting what she deserves? I'm a 58 year old man with 2 daughters. One daughter is from my previous marriage and the other is from my wife's previous marriage. Both daughters are around the same age, think mid 20s. My daughter, Ali, has never gotten along with her step sister, Johanna. If Johanna

invited Ali to a movie, Ali was suddenly super busy and had no time. If Johanna wanted to come with Ali to a party, suddenly Johanna wasn't invited and there was no way that she could bring her. Ellie would rip up Johanna's things and would blame Johanna when she'd be grounded. It was just run of the mill petty teenager BS. Johanna was a good sport and always seemed to take things on the chin. Her explanation was always that sisters fight. That is, until maybe three to four months ago, when Ellie was home

from college and was going through a rough breakup that was causing her greats to tank and she was put on academic probation. Ali was upset and was taking it out on everyone, especially Joanna. My wife and I told her to cut it out and she seemed to catch on that her behavior wasn't going to be accepted. We came to find out after Ali left to go back to college that she had completely destroyed Johanna's scrapbook that had pictures of her dad, and she had destroyed a lot of the shirts that her dad had left her. Joanna didn't make a stink about it in front of us, but that night the house stunk of superglue. You could guess what she spent the night doing. After that incident, Joanna

had completely given up on Allie. If Allie had a birthday coming up, Joanna wouldn't even sign the card. If Allie was in town for the weekend, unless it was a holiday or a family event, Joanna just wasn't there. And honestly, we didn't realize we were supposed to get a gift for our dog, what our guy. We almost forgot about our dentist, Dr. Kurt. We didn't expect to get a gift from her. Or our cousin might forget his name. He got us something nice, better as it pertains.

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wonder and discovery. Lego Duplo sets! Every day life is their big adventure to learning grow. Lego is a trademark of the Lego group. Now the issue is that Ali wants Johanna to let things go and let bygones be bygones. Johanna is getting married soon and Ali wants an invite. It was brought up this past week at a family dinner. Ali brought up how all their kids were the same age, and how it would be cool after the wedding if the kids could hang out. Ali also asked what she should wear to Johanna's wedding, and if she'd be a bride's

maid. Johanna pretty much laid it out for Ali that she was not coming, and that their kids would not be seeing each other outside of family events. The night was pretty tense afterwards, and I asked Joanna if there was any way that she could forgive Ali. Joanna said that she wanted nothing to do with Ali, and I told her that I fully understand that she carries a lot of hurt from how Ali treated her. Ali came to me after Joanna left, and pretty much begged me to convince Joanna to move past things.

I told her that if she had been a more considerate and kind person, then maybe she'd have a chance at a relationship with her step sister. I told her that she made her bed and she needs to lay in it. She said that I'm the butthole and that any good father would want to see his kids reunite. Am I the butthole for telling her that she deserves this? Yeah, actually, I would say that you're the Butthole. What on earth were you and your wife doing while Ali was bullying Johanna for a literal decade?

The simple reality is that if kids turn out rotten, then it's the parents fault. Like I don't think you get it OP, listen to this sentence you wrote. My wife and I told her to cut it out and she seemed to catch on that her behavior wasn't going to be accepted so you say that you're not accepting this behavior but based on this post clearly you are accepting it we know that you're accepting it because you allow this behavior to go on year after year after year without ever stopping it?

Now don't get me wrong, Halle is also a major butthole here, but OP you deserve some of the blame too. Johanna gets 0 out of 5 buttholes, I don't blame her. OP, you and your wife get 3 out of 5 buttholes for being absent uninvolved parents. Halle gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes for just being a turd of a human being. And after getting absolutely blasted down in the comments, OP adds an edit. He said that Ali would be grounded, she had things taken away from her, and they would replace the things that she destroyed of Joanna's.

I mean, I guess it's nice that you tried to discipline Ali, but clearly you failed, right? Like no one's gonna dispute that. The harsh reality is that trying to be a good parent and failing just isn't the same thing as actually being a good parent. Am I the butthole for firing my brother as my dog walker after having to pay a lot of money at the vet because of his lie? I'm a 27 year old guy and my brother, who's 24, has been out of work for a while, and he's been looking for extra ways to make cash. I decided to start paying him to walk my dog in the morning and evenings. I'm not paying him much, it's just so that he has something.

I didn't really need him to walk my dog, because I was already doing that myself. But still, I've been really busy at work lately, so at least with him walking my dog, I wouldn't have to wake up super early to walk my dog Bella Bella or take her out really late once I'm done for the day. I didn't notice this until a couple of weeks after he started walking Bella. She has her own pee pad in my apartment where she does her business. Sometimes she'll poop during our walks when I clean up after her. When my brother started walking her, I gave him the bags to use in case she went. A few days went by and I noticed that Bella hadn't used her p-pads to go number two at all. So I asked my brother if she was

going number two during their walks. He told me that she wasn't. I also realized that when he came back from the walks, he didn't use any bags. I asked him a few times if he's sure and he said yeah. So that scared me because obviously there was a problem if she hadn't pooped in days. I took the bell to the vet and they did a physical and blood work to check to see if she was dehydrated or if something else was wrong. Literally nothing was wrong. So then the vet suggested that we do an abdominal ultrasound to see if they could figure out what was going wrong. That was not cheap. I wouldn't get the results back in a few days, so later that day when I was at home my brother stopped by to take

her out. He noticed that I was upset, so he asked what was wrong. I told him everything that I'm freaked out over what's wrong with Bella because they've done all these tests and they still don't know what's wrong. Finally, my brother Epping tells me that he's been lying about this whole thing. Bella does go number two outside, but he just doesn't want to pick up the poop. He didn't tell me, because he knew that I'd get mad since they only walk around this block, which means that he's been letting her go in the neighbors yards and not picking it up. I completely lost it. Like, actually yelled at him for making me worry about my dog and that I spent so much

money for nothing. I essentially fired him and I didn't say anything about him paying me back because knowing him he won't. My brother begged me to give him a chance and that he did know that it was going to be that big of a deal. He texted me multiple times at his sorry and that he really needs his help. Since he's staying at my parents, of course he told them, so now they're on his side too.

They want me to be a good brother and to give him a chance for making a stupid mistake. My brother's mad that I won't help him, and I'm still mad about this whole thing, so I don't know if I'm being too harsh because of my emotions or if I'm in the right here. OP, and he went who endangers the health of a dog because they're too lazy to do the job that they were paid for is automatically the butthole. OP you get 0 out of 5 buttholes, your brother gets 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. If I were in your shoes I wouldn't let him walk my dog anymore either. I mean why should you hire him back?

He was a sucky dog walker. It's an easy job and he couldn't even do that right. He lied and he let him poop all over your neighbor's yards. Am I the butthole for refusing to go to my dad's unless I'm fed properly? I'm a 17 year old girl and my parents are separated. My dad lives in another country, so I don't see him much except for the holidays. He lives in Germany with my stepmom and my nine-year-old little sister. I don't like my stepmom at all, mainly because of her parenting style.

She is a complete helicopter parent. I don't think that my sister has ever actually been out of an adult site in her life. She's never just played outside with her friends or anything. And the most annoying thing for me is that she has never eaten a hot meal. All the food that she eats is served to her cold with the reasoning being that it might burn her mouth. She's also never stayed up past 7 pm. And the way that my stepmom treats my little sister is also the way she treats me. When I'm at my dad's, I'm usually there for two weeks at a time, and during that entire time, I don't get to eat anything hot.

And I'm pretty much confined to my room after 7 p.m. and my room only has a bed in it. I can live with having to stay in my room, but not with being fed cold food. I have a food disorder and an already limited diet, so I can barely stomach warm food, let alone cold food. Yesterday, my dad called me about booking flights to come visit him for the summer, and I

said no. He tried to gild me into going, and I said that I'm not going unless I'm treated like I should be. I told him I will not be going unless everything I eat is hot, and that I don't care if it means eating before my sister, and that I will not be subjected to her stupid rules anymore. My dad contacted my mom and my mom said that I was a butthole to act so spoiled. Am I the butthole? Opie, this is really weird and I feel like I'm missing some critical information here.

So all the food that you eat is cold. Do they not have a microwave? Are you not allowed to cook your own meals? O.P., you're 17 years old. If you want a hot meal, you can cook yourself a hot meal. If your stepmom serves you cold food, what's stopping you from just going to the microwave and popping it in for two minutes? If the answer is nothing is stopping you, then yeah, you are a spoiled butthole.

I mean sure, your stepmom sounds like a tool and I'll get to her in a second, but to not visit your dad just because you're too lazy to microwave your food is a bit much. However, if there is a reason why you can't microwave your food, like your stepmom won't let you, then that's a completely different story.

In that case, you get a solid zero out of five buttholes. Honestly, it sounds like your stepmom has some psychological issues. She won't feed hot food to a little kid because she's afraid of burning her mouth. What? Opie, I'm giving your stepmom 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. I feel like if your stepmom doesn't loosen the reins, then your sister is going to grow up to be really messed up. When she becomes a teenager, she's either gonna be super sheltered and never leave her mom side or a complete wild child. That was our slash of my The Buttle, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put on new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.