rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole My Dad Abandoned Me at Age 10, Now He Wants my House!

Episode Date: September 26, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole When OP was 10 years old, she came home from school one day to discover that her father had completely abandoned her. He just left! No note, no goodbye, nothing! Luckily, OP's grandmother was able to take care of OP from then on. Many years later, OP inherited her grandmother's house when her grandma passed away. OP's dad showed up for the first time in over a decade to harass OP and demand that she hand over the house. He says that she should be a good daughter 🙄 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash, am I the butthole where OPs did beat dad demands to get OPs house. Am I the butthole for refusing to get my father the house that my grandmother left me? Well, Opie, I can tell you before I even read this post the answer is no, but let's get into it anyways. Some important context. My father left me when I was 10. What? I came home from school one day and he was gone and I was alone. What? What? Okay. Opie, now the answer is still no, but now it's been upgraded to like a mega no, a super plus no, an extra strength no, you're not the butthole, but still let's get into this post anyways. My grandmother eventually took me in, but that moment gave me issues that I'm still working through.

My grandmother passed away and was buried a couple of weeks ago. I saw my father for the first time in 14 years at his mother's funeral. After the will was read, we learned that my grandmother had left me her property. My father was furious. Apparently, he feels that he has more rights to her property than I do because she was his mother. He's been harassing me to hand over the property to him and promising that when he dies, I can have it. I don't want to give him the property because if my grandmother wanted him to have it, then she would have put it in her will.

My father's been going around telling the family that I stole his mother's property right from under him, and I'm trying to punish him for leaving me. My family has been reaching out to me, telling me that even though my father abandoned me, I shouldn't forget the importance of family loyalty. And how being good to my father, even if he isn't good to me, is what makes a good daughter. I don't think that I'm doing anything wrong, but the comments are beginning to wear me down. Am I the butthole? Oh my god OP. Oh my god. Your father abandoned a literal 10 year old child into an empty house? Like literally an empty house? Was it at least the house that your grandmother

also shared with you so that at some point you were going to have dinner that evening? Or did he just expect you to what? Call the cops as a 10 year old and be like, um, hello police officers. I'm 10 and I've been home alone for like eight hours. And I don't think anyone's coming to give me. Wow, I almost get like choked up, even reading that stupid pretend conversation to a police officer because the idea of that is just so, it's just awful. He abandoned a 10 year old child by herself. And then this douchebag, this piece of human filth

has the absolute audacity to come back and say that he deserves a house that your grandmother left because of oh the bond between parent and child is so sacred. Well, douchebag, if the bond between you and your mother is so sacred, then what about the bond between you and your daughter? And what is your family talking about? Oh, it's so important that you show loyalty to your family, but why should you show any loyalty to your father when he showed no loyalty to you? Think about it, OP, you're not disrespecting your father. You had nothing to do with it. Your grandmother is the one who gave you the house. So, if anything, if you give your house to your father, then you would be disrespecting

the wishes of your grandmother, who raised you ever since you were abandoned by that same father. OP, please, please, please, do not give into your father's wishes. Your father is a toxic piece of s***. And my suggestion is that you completely cut off all contact with him and anyone who backs him up. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your father gets five out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for wanting to sue my husband's sister for losing my $2000 camera at the

beach? I'm a 26 year old woman, and my 20 year old sister-in-law moved in with me in my husband weeks ago because of problems with her boyfriend. She isn't planning on going back until he apologizes, even though she broke his Xbox during an argument. I'm a blogger, and I have a small space in our apartment, sort of like my office where I work. My sister-in-law keeps entering my office to take my stuff and not give it back, so I had to get a lock for my office.

She was going to the beach with some friends to let off some steam, and she asked if she could borrow my $2,000 video camera to record the trip, but I declined and I explained that I was working that weekend so I would need it. I finished up my project and left my camera at the desk. When I woke up the next day at 9am, I went to my office and I didn't find my camera. I freaked out and my husband told me to calm down because his sister took it with her to the beach.

He assured me that it was in safe hands, but I kept worrying about it and I was upset by the fact that she took it and that my husband gave her the key to my office. She got back at 7pm and she was pissed, talking about getting in a fight with her boyfriend after seeing him with someone at the beach and it ruined her day. She started crying loudly and cussing him out. I asked for my camera back and she said that she didn't have it. She angrily left after the encounter and she forgot her sunglasses, cream, hat, and my camera at the beach. Her friend Aiden picked some of the stuff up and brought it back, but apparently the camera

got stolen. I started yelling, calling her irresponsible and reckless, and that this was a $2,000 camera that she left behind. She started apologizing, then tried to blame it on her now ex-boyfriend for getting her into a fight with a girl that he was with. I said that I need the camera for my work, and that she has to replace it like yesterday. My husband got involved, and said it wasn't her fault that it got stolen, and he suggested I get a cheaper camera from Amazon until I can afford to buy a new one. I said, what?

Why should I buy a replacement when it was his sister who lost it? She took my camera without permission and she's responsible for whatever happened afterwards. He tried to make excuses for her being an emotional mess. I said that I have no problem suing her and and he asked if I was serious, and I said yes. I worked hard to afford that camera, and my work's always been known to be high quality, so for him to suggest a cheap camera from Amazon was offensive. He said that he was just trying to help fix the problem, but I said that he was just helping a sister avoid responsibility.

Both him and his sister aren't speaking to me anymore. They're claiming they're giving me time to calm down when, in fact, they're giving me the cold shoulder and trying to make me feel guilty for saying that. I'm not sure if suing my sister-in-law is morally the right thing since she's my family. Am I the butthole? Oh, Pete, there's so many facets to this post. There's just so much going on. So let me try to break this down piece by piece.

So first of all, let's get this out of the way. Your sister-in-law is responsible for your camera. She stole something, lost it, so yeah, she's responsible, morally, ethically, legally, and pretty much every category that you could possibly think of, she's responsible. If you borrowed her car and then just lost her car and came back and said, Whoops, my bad, would she have been like, oh it's okay, it was a year of fault.

No, of course not, she would have been up in arms, replace my car blah blah blah blah blah. Okay, and on top of this, I have a sneaking suspicion that she didn't lose her camera at all. I have to wonder, what are the odds that she goes to a beach for a day off with her friends? And not only is her boyfriend at the exact same beach at that time, but also he's there with a girl, and also they're both in the same spot on the beach. I mean, beaches are typically pretty huge, and this leads to a fight and she forgets all of her stuff.

I don't know, this feels kind of fishy, a little bit too coincidental, in my opinion. So I think there's a pretty good chance that she intentionally took your camera, told you that she lost it, that way she can sell it online for like $1,500 or $1,000, because she knows it's a $2,000 camera, and that's basically just a way to make some money. So I think that's actually probably more likely than it is that she just lost the camera. I mean, yeah, maybe she lost the camera, but if I had to bet, I'd say she stole the camera to sell it personally.

Okay, so we've gotten through your sister-in-law, but your sister-in-law isn't the big problem in this post and your camera isn't the big problem in this post. The real core issue here, OP, is that your husband completely doesn't respect you and doesn't have your back. Your husband went behind your back to steal something that you rely on for your business and that you expressly told his sister that she couldn't have. Then after he gave the camera to his sister, he didn't tell you about it until you found out about it and freaked out. So I have a suspicion

that what he was hoping was going to happen here was his sister was gonna go to the beach, you just wouldn't notice a camera was gone and then he would just sneak it back to the office and everything would be perfectly fine then. So then after your husband completely betrays you and disrespects your property, he has the odd dassy to take his sister side when his sister was objectively wrong here.

Like he said that he tried to make excuses for because she's an emotional mess. Well, if she's an emotional mess, then why did you give her a $2,000 piece of property? Huh? If your husband is so concerned about your sister not facing the consequences of her actions, then he can pick up the slack. Let your husband buy you a new $2,000 camera. Now, I will say that he's concerned about you suing his sister-in-law

and he doesn't want that to happen. And yes, I actually do understand where he's coming from. If you take that step, then you're basically permanently nuking the relationship between you and your sister-in-law. And obviously he doesn't want that. However, his answer to that is to give you

the cold shoulder and try to guilt and shame you into not suing his sister is a completely incorrect approach. If he really doesn't want you to sue his sister, which is understandable, then the way to resolve that is to back up his wife and resolve this issue by ensuring that his sister takes responsibility for something that she should be responsible for. Look, marriage isn't just dating plus. It's not like extra-strength dating. It's marriage. The whole point of marriage is that it's two people saying, hey, I've got your back for

life where partners were in this together. And yeah, there's going to be times when you disagree with your partner and conflicts between your partner and your family or their family or your friends or whatever. But the point of marriage is you're trying to say, look, we're in this together, so let's figure this out together, and it's us against the problem, it's not me versus you. So the fact that your husband is so quick to take his sister's side over your side tells me that I think your brother cares more about his sister than he cares about you.

Your husband OP is just sending out so many red flags. He disrespected your property, he was dishonest to you and not giving you the full truth, he victim blamed you, and then after you very rightly wanted restitution for the lost item, he starts trying to manipulate and shame you into getting what he wants. And to put it simply OP, you're married to that. You want to be married to someone who doesn't respect your property, who lies to you, who victim blames you, and manipulates you because I know I wouldn't. Okay, okay.

So on Reddit, whenever you go out into the comments, people tend to be really extreme in their responses. They'll be like, oh, that guy insulted you. How dare he go straight to the divorce attorney and kick him to the curb right now because that was completely disrespectful. And yeah, it's the internet people tend to get more extreme in their responses. But you've got to like take a step back and think, okay, these people are married, their lives are intertwined.

Is this problem really so big that they need to get divorced over it? And in this post, yes. I think this is actually a major problem in your marriage. It's not that like what happened was so bad that it warrants a divorce because like on paper, this is over $2,000 and we're not getting divorced over $2,000 here. What's happening here is that your husband just,

he just literally doesn't have your back, like to put it simply, he doesn't care about you more than he cares about your sister. And like he should love a sister, he should care about her and he should want the best resolution for a sister as well, but he shouldn't want that at the expense of his wife, because if your partner isn't gonna have your back,

then what's the point, man? What's the point? I'm getting really fired up about this and I'm getting kind of ranty because I mean, I've been married to my wife for like eight years now. And I mean, it's a big deal. It's, it's an important part of your life. It's your partner. You've picked this person to say, you and me to the end, man, I've got your back. You've got mine. And to give another person half of your life to promise to care for them forever. And then for them to be like, oh well, first I stole something from you, then I didn't tell you about it. Then once you found out about it, I blamed you for it. And now that you're upset, I'm going

to shame you to get what I want. No, I don't want to be married to that man. This is just, it's too many, it's too many red flags. So, OP, please see this for what it is. This is just too many, it's too many red flags. So OP, please see this for what it is. This is a big deal, this is major toxic behavior in my opinion. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving your sister 3 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving your husband the rare 5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling a coworker that if I'm not allowed to wear makeup, then he also shouldn't be allowed to keep his beard. I'm a 25 year old woman and I work at a law firm. Just for context, I recently graduated, so right now I don't practice law, but I'm basically the receptionist of the office. So I see every single client that comes into the building. I also like wearing makeup,

not to the point of being completely unrecognizable, but I do like to wear a full face. We recently had a meeting to discuss the dress code of the office, since some of my co-workers are having issues adapting to in office working again. At the end, my boss asked if anyone had any other concerns. My co-worker, a 45-year-old guy, said, I think makeup should be banned. People like OP look like a whole different person without it and that misleads the client. Of course, I was shocked when he said that and I could see that a lot of my co-workers were too since the comment was so unwarranted. I told him, well, if I'm not allowed to wear makeup, then you shouldn't be allowed to keep your beard, given that you go from a grown man to a 12-year-old when you shave.

He turned really red and tried to say something, but my boss didn't let him. I thought that was the end of it, but I found out that some of the other employees are making fun of him using the comment that I made. I now feel really bad for what I did. I told my family, and most of them agreed that what I said was more hurtful than what he said, but he shouldn't have named me and tried to make an example out of me. So, Reddit, am I the butthole?

Opie, all you really did here was match this guy's energy. He criticized your appearance and called you out specifically and you responded by criticizing his appearance, so really this seems perfectly balanced in my opinion. As far as I see it, Opie, this guy's just the office misogynist and you were just defending yourself. Also I wouldn't worry too much about the other co-workers making fun of them for your comments. Based on my read of this situation, and I'm kind of guessing here, but I have a feeling

that this is just kind of like playful male ribbing. If I worked with a guy, and he tried to pull something sexist like that and a girl absolutely roasted him for it, then I'd probably tease that guy too. Because like, when you do something like that, when you say what he said, then you open yourself up to being roasted and he got roasted, so he deserves the roast. And what's weird about this is you guys are all lawyers and I have to imagine that lawyers deal with insults and criticisms and counter arguments all the time. So if he got embarrassed, okay, deal with it dude. You're a grown man and a lawyer if you insult a woman and she insults you back.

Tough, deal with it. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your coworker gets two out of five buttholes. Hmm, yeah. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.