rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole My Sister Demanded I Give Her My Baby!

Episode Date: August 4, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP's sister gets pregnant at a very young age and decides to give her baby away. OP can't have children of her own, so she happily adopts the child, and then OP's sister goes no-contact for nearly a decade. Then, completely out of the blue, OP's sister calls OP on the phone and says that she wants her kid back, whom she hasn't even seen in nearly a decade. OP can't believe what she's hearing and turns her town, which leads to her wondering if maybe she's the butthole in this situation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash and my The Butthole, where a woman demands to have another woman's baby. Am I the Butthole of retelling my sister that she's out of her mind when she said that she wanted to take back my child, who my adopted from her? I'm 36, and my sister Nancy is 29. She became pregnant when she was 18. I'm infertile, and I knew that I couldn't have kids So when Nancy said that she was giving her baby up for adoption, I decided to be that baby's mom After that Nancy went no contact with me five months after giving birth for a bit of background Nancy got pregnant by a one night stand and she apparently didn't remember or know the father at the time of birth

apparently didn't remember or know the father at the time of birth. However, when her son Victor was to a man named Tom who was 35, message me on social media claiming to be the father of my child. Nancy had run into this guy at a club and drunkenly confessed to the pregnancy. We met up, Tom bonded with his daughter, and well, that man is now my husband of seven years. What on earth, what am I reading? So yesterday my sister called me. I was really surprised to see that she was calling me, but I picked up. We made some small talk. Then she said that she had just gotten married a year back, and both of them wanted kids,

but they couldn't because her husband was infertile, but they really wanted kids. Hi. Whoa. I asked her if she wanted to adopt, and she said that she just wanted to get her baby back. I was speechless for a few moments before applying that if she wants to meet my child as an aunt, then she's welcome to. We can both sit Victor down and explain the reason for her absence, but she can't just ask me to give up my child.

She said that she'll sue me because she's the birth mother. I told her that she was out of her mind, and then I told her about Tom. She exploded. She called me names and said that I stole her life. I got too emotional and I hung up. Tom came home from work, and after explaining the situation to him, he was beyond furious. I then got a call from my parents saying that I was the butthole for telling Nancy that she couldn't see her baby. I said that I never said that, and I welcomed her to bond with Victor, but they refused to listen, and said that I was being insensitive and harsh, and I was flaunting

my family. I now feel bad, because me and Nancy were very close as sisters, and I feel quite close to her situation since I know the struggles of infertility. Tom said there was no way he was letting my sister have full time custody, and I agree, but I want to know. Am I the butthole for being too harsh and telling her about Tom? And then OP clarifies, I did legally adopt Victor at birth. Tom also adopted the kid after we got married. Nancy never wanted kids, and I think the only reason why she wants Victor now is because her husband wants kids.

OP, what universe is your sister from that she can just swoop in after what 10 or 11 years and be like, oh thank you so much for babysitting my child for the past 11 years, I'll take over from here. And let's be real here, your child literally has no clue who your sister even is. You said that your sister's been no contact for like 10 years now. So we have this normal 10 year old kid and suddenly you're supposed to be like,

oh by the way sweetie, you have a new mommy now. See ya! This is the single weirdest story that I've ever read on this subreddit, and I've read a lot of stories that are just plain bonkers. I mean, I'm not trying to make fun of your situation, OP, because you seem like a decent person, but this sounds like something out of like a cheap soap opera.

OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your sister, I think 5 out of 5 buttholes because she is absolutely out of her mind and has no idea what she's asking of you. She basically just wants to straight up take someone else's baby. If that doesn't constitute a 5 out of 5 score, then what does? Honestly, I can't even sympathize with her because yeah, it's possible that she might have regretted her actions. I think a lot of people wouldn't that scenario.

But apparently for the last decade, instead of building relationship with your kid, she's been out clubbing the whole time. So yeah, I'm with UOP. I think she really doesn't want her kid back. She just wants to make her husband happy. Am I the butthole for telling my wife that I can't watch our son?

I have a good job, I make good money, and I work hard to earn it. To the point that about four years ago after our son was born, my wife decided not to go back to work, and I became the only source of income. This worked out well, and everyone was happy until COVID hit. Once the quarantine hit, my role was transitioned from working in office downtown to working from home. I was a big fan of this. I typically work 5am to 7pm Monday through Saturday. Jesus OP.

5 to 7. 5 to 5 is 12 plus 2 is 14, 14 hour days, times 6. Oh my god OP. 84 hour weeks. oh my god OP. 84 hour weeks, oh my god OP. So not having to commute meant that now I got to be home to put my son to bed and read to him at night and have more time to spend with my wife in the evenings. The only problem is that my wife has struggled with the idea that the location of my job has changed but my responsibilities haven't. I've had several discussions with her about the fact that even though I'm home now, I'm not able to watch our sun during the day,

or I have to explain to her why I can't do all the dishes until that evening. She'll not along, but I don't think she really believes it. This is cause tension, but not quite an outright fight until this week. Some of our mutual friends are coming into town this weekend and we've made plans to spend time with them. However, on Monday, my wife told me that the couple is actually getting in on Friday and she and her friend are going to get lunch and go shopping. She tells me that I'll have to watch our son. I respond by saying that I can't, I have to work and besides, you didn't give me enough notice to take off. She got angry at me saying that she watches our son every day, wow you just sit in your office from son up to son down and how I should be able to watch our son so she can have a day off. She's been giving me the cold shoulder since then. I would love to spend the day with my

son. I just can't take the time off on such short notice. So am I the butthole? Alright O.P. I'm definitely respectful that you have a job to do and that all this financial responsibility is falling on your shoulders. Honestly, take a day off. 84 hours a week, that's more than double the typical work week. So you're basically working two full-time jobs

to provide for your family. And you set it yourself. By the time you drove home from work, your baby was already in the bid. It kind of seems like there's two separate issues here. The first issue, which the story is actually about, is that your wife isn't being respectful of your work time, which yeah, is a problem. However, it sounds like the reason why she's frustrated is because she basically doesn't

have a husband. And I'm not saying that to you to like trash on you OP because clearly you're really really working hard. But with how much time you spend at your job, you're certainly making your wife feel like she's raising this baby by herself. I think the real core issue here OP is that you've devoted way too much of your time to your job. 84 hours a week does not seem sustainable, and if you want to be involved in your kids' life, then you have to scale back. I mean, maybe you and your wife actually like this arrangement, maybe you really like your job, and maybe your wife wants you to

work this hard because she cares about the money that you bring in. I don't really know because we can't tell from this story what that arrangement is like. I mean, if that is the case, if your wife actually wants you to work this much, then yeah, she's being a hypocrite. But my guess, which admittedly is completely a guess, my guess is that she wants you to be more involved in the child's upbringing. So I think I have to give your wife,

let's say two out of five buttholes because she's not being respectful of your obligations to your work. However, OP, I also have to give you two out of five buttholes because you're just not spending enough time with your family. Am I the butthole for not giving my daughter money after she ignored me for her whole life? I got pregnant with my daughter, Emma, at the age of 18. I lived at home and I was going to college and working. When I got pregnant, my parents kicked me out and I had to move in with my ex. I dropped out of school and quit my job to take care of Emma because my ex told me that he would support me.

When I was 22 and my ex was 24, he graduated law school. He told me I had to move out because he wanted to find a wife. My parents had forgiven me by then, so I moved in with them. My ex and I didn't have a court order, but we split custody with him having her 25% of the time and me having her 75% of the time. When Emma was 6, my ex married his now wife. His new wife couldn't have any more kids, and she wanted Emma and her daughter to be sisters. Over the next 3 years, Emma spent less and less time with me, and she would throw a fit if I tried to pick her up. They gave her things that I couldn't. When she was 8, she told me and she would throw a fit if I tried to pick her up. They gave her things that I couldn't when she was eight. She told me that she hated me. I never blamed her for the lies her father put

in her head because even though I lived at home, I was in college and working and did my best to provide for her, but obviously they could do more. They took me to court when she was 10 and surprised, surprised, the lawyer and his doctor wife with their million dollar home beat me in court. They painted me out to be this horrible parent, and Emma backed them up. They got primary custody, and I got visitation, but Emma still refused to see me. I gave her money and gifts, but she just didn't want me in her life. When I was 30, I met my husband, and he's the most amazing man I've ever met.

He's seen me struggle with this, and he's been very supportive. He is a daughter whose Emma's age and a son whose five years younger. They lost their mom, and they were very welcoming and loving. They treated me like I was their mom. Emma made zero effort to get to know my husband and stepkids. Emma and my stepdaughter both graduated high school this past May. My parents also recently passed and they gave me the restates since I'm an only child. I've decided to pay for my stepdaughter's entire college tuition, buy her a car and pay for an apartment. A week ago, Emma contacted me and told me

that she missed me and she wanted to see me. This shocked me because we hadn't talked in a year. We met up and she told me she heard my parents died and she asked if she could have some money to pay for college. I was shocked and I said, well, what about your dad and his wife? She said, my mom and dad want me to pay for this on my own to teach me responsibility and I believe I'm entitled to money seeing as though you ruined my life. I was very hurt and I told her, after years of ignoring me and telling me that I'm not

your mother, you demand money from me, I'm not your wallet. My husband is telling me that I did the right thing, but my ex is telling me that I'm a piece of garbage and that I owe this to her. My stepdaughter feels bad and offered to give back her college money because my daughter and her friends have been harassing her. And I said absolutely not, that is your money. So am I the butthole for not giving my daughter money

after ignoring me her whole life? Down in the comments, I'm gonna read this post from car trouble ABC. This seems like one of those stories where the two sides would tell very different versions. Everyone is biased in stories like these. For example, I would really be interested to hear how Emma describes her upbringing. But taking it face value based on what's here, you're not the butthole OP. Like the amount that Emma hates OP seems to go far beyond just OP's kind of poor and you can't buy her nice

things. Maybe OP is telling the whole story, or maybe Emma's father has been dripping poison into her ear ever since she was a little girl. So based on the information that I have available, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes OP. I'm giving your ex 4 out of 5 buttholes, he sounds like a terrible human being. Also, did anyone catch that he refused to pay for Emma's college because he wants to teach a responsibility. But then when Emma tried to get OP to pay and OP refused, he called OP a piece of garbage.

Like, which is it, buddy? Do you want to take the easy way out or do you want to teach a responsibility because you're not being consistent here? Also, I think I have to give Emma two out of five buttholes. She's being really unfairly harsh to OP. In normal situations, I would give her a higher butthole score, but I can't really be certain if she wasn't constantly manipulated by OP's ex,

so who knows. Am I the butthole for not answering working emails while on vacation, resulting in the loss of a client? My husband and I took a much needed vacation to the beach last week. And the entire week before we left, I sent emails around letting everyone know that I'd be completely inaccessible for the week. So people would have to come see me for any work materials, files, etc.

I gave my co-workers everything I thought they'd need, and I left confident that everyone had prepared themselves, seeing as I'd given them 8 days to prepare. When I returned, I found chaos in the office. Apparently, one of my colleagues needed files for a particularly important client of ours and hadn't been able to find them in my office. And I never responded to calls or emails just like I warned that I wouldn't do. This co-worker knew that he'd be handling this client my absence, and he had eight days to ask me for all the pertinent files, and clearly he didn't. In any case, I was blamed because the client is technically mine, and I'm the supervisor of this coworker. I contend that I'm blameless, because this coworker had eight days to

collect all their files, like all my other co-workers did, but this co-worker neglected to do so. No one seems to care about that. Am I the butthole here? Honestly OP, the problem here isn't with you or your co-worker. The problem is with your office. You did what you were supposed to do and your co-worker didn't, but can your co-worker really be blamed by that?

Based on this story, it's really hard to tell because we can't tell how reliable or competent that coworker actually is. The real problem here is with your office's systems. The fact that everything could fall apart and you could lose a major client just because one person is out of the office is ridiculous. So no, OP, you are not the butthole. You have every right to not answer work calls and emails while you're on vacation. That's the whole point of vacation.

So OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Honestly, I don't even know if I can give your coworker any buttholes either because they didn't do anything butthole. And competent maybe, but is someone a butthole just because they're incompetent? Not really. This feels like a solid no butthole here situation because no one's really acting like a jerk. Well, actually I guess whoever's blaming you for doing something wrong, you're not really

clear who that is in the story, but that person gets one out of five buttholes because, yeah, it's not your fault. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, you can sponsor my podcast to unlock extra episodes. Also, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.