rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole She Mocked a Widow About Her Dead Baby 😱

Episode Date: June 21, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, a young mother tragically lost her husband and one of her young children in a car accident, leaving her with just one surviving child. During the funeral, OP's sist...er-in-law decides to excitedly announce to the world that she's pregnant. She even comes up to the grieving widow and says that she hopes that she doesn't have to go through what the widow went through. OP the entitled woman out of the funeral for being so incredibly disrespectful. Is he the butthole in this situation? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to our slash, a podcast where we read the best posts from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is our slash in my The Butthole, where someone mocks a grieving widow at the funeral of her dead husband and children. Am I the Butthole for going to the parents of the girl my step sister has been bullying? My 17 year old step sister has been bullying this girl in our grade, Mia. Mia is a very shy person. We were never friends, but we were friendly until the bullying started and then Mia withdrew from everyone. I found out about the bullying
Starting point is 00:00:31 over a month ago. People described it as not real bullying, but my stepsister called her names and told her that she doesn't deserve friends. I found a note from my stepsister telling Mia this. I was pissed! My stepsister and I never had a good relationship because we're always fighting, but I never figured that she was an actual bully. Just someone who got on my freaking nerves. I ended up going to me as parents with what I knew in the evidence of the bullying, and now it's been brought up with the school and me as parents want my stepsister expelled. My dad is pissed.
Starting point is 00:01:04 He said that it was so unbelievably petty and mean-spirited to go to the girl's parents over sibling issues. I told my dad that nothing between me and my step-sister would ever be sibling issues because we are not siblings, and that my actual siblings, my younger brother and sister, would never do that to another person. My step-sister has been suspended, and it looks like she'll be expelled on Thursday when the big meeting happens. My dad's wife is freaking out, and so are my step-brothers. With the exception of my siblings, everyone seems to think that I'm wrong for doing what I did, for at least not talking to my step-sister first.
Starting point is 00:01:41 I feel like going to me as parents was the right call because of how serious bullying can be for the person being bullied. And even just calling someone names can cut a person really deep. But I never expected this kind of reaction. Life at home is very awkward right now. Am I the butthole? Wait, hold on. So it's petty and mean spirited to stand up to a bully, but it's not petty and mean-spirited to be a bully. What are your parents talking about OP? And what's more, people saying that it's not real bullying? Well, in that case, what's fake bullying look like? Uh, there's no such thing because it's all just bullying. OP, you definitely did the right thing here. I mean, yeah, someone could make the argument that you should have gone to your step-sister first, but realistically, how would that have gone?
Starting point is 00:02:30 Hey, step-sister, I see that you're bullying me, and I would really appreciate if you stop. Oh, my bad. I recognize the errors of my ways, and I totally understand that I'm in the wrong here. My apologies, I'll stop. OP, you get a solid 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your step sister gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes and your parents get 3 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling a mom the truth about why her son wasn't invited to a sleep
Starting point is 00:02:56 over party? My son just turned 10 and for his birthday he wanted to do a superhero themed slumber party. We did something similar on the last two years, and they all had a blast. The party started around three, and we did pizza, movie, popcorn, and design superhero masks. My son is friends with a boy named James from his class. He came to the last two sleepover parties, and while he was well behaved, it was his parents who I felt were the problem.
Starting point is 00:03:22 When we send out the invites, we tell the parents when the party is and what time to pick the kids up the next day. For the last two parties, James was always the last one to be picked up. For my son's eighth birthday, we specifically stated that all kids should be picked up by 11am. We had plans to go to my in-laws for my kids birthday party, which was on his actual birthday. We had five boys, including our son of the party, and three of them were picked up by 11 a.m. At 11.30, I texted James Mom and asked if she was coming to get him, and she said that she was on her way. I assumed that she ran in air and it was just running behind. No big deal. By 12.30, she still hadn't shown up, so I texted her again and reminded her that I had
Starting point is 00:04:04 somewhere to be, and she had to get here as soon as possible. She responded that she was eating lunch and she would be there soon. By 2pm, I texted her again and let her know that she has to pick her son up ASAP, that we're getting ready to leave in an hour, and that her son was not invited to come with us. I had assumed that this would prompt her to come get him. By 4pm. my husband left with our kids to my in-laws and I called James' mother. I left her a voicemail and told her
Starting point is 00:04:30 that if she wasn't at my house in 30 minutes to pick up her son, I was calling the police to inform them that he was an abandoned child. She showed up within 15 minutes to get him. She gave some half-hearted apology about how she was busy with errands and running her other kids to their activities. Today I received a text message from her asking why James wasn't invited to the sleepover party. Apparently, one of the other moms was talking about how much fun the kids had at the party, and she wonders know why her son wasn't invited. So, I told her the truth, that her son wasn't invited because I wasn't sure if she would come get him in a timely manner without disrupting our plans for the rest of the day.
Starting point is 00:05:08 I explained that anytime her son is at my house, she's always late to pick him up. And I was tired of catering to her schedule. She called me an uppity B word and has since blocked me in social media and her phone. Am I the butthole for telling her why her son wasn't invited? No way OP, you are not the butthole here. You are being completely reasonable. You communicated your schedule and gave her a lot of chances to come pick up her kid, but instead she was treating you like a free daycare.
Starting point is 00:05:37 And worst of all, she's allowing her 10 year old son to suffer the consequences of her screw up. OP, it looks like we've got a classic case of an entitled parent on our hands. You get zero out of five buttholes, she gets two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for making my father rebook my wedding venue and nearly triple the original cost after my step sister canceled my original booking? My step sister impersonated me and canceled my wedding venue reservation. She's 18 years old and a jealous cow.
Starting point is 00:06:06 I got the reservation for a steal because I booked early in COVID made things uncertain. Well now, demand for wedding venues has skyrocketed. The venue is now asking nearly triple the original cost for the same date. They say that they'll honor the original reservation if I show proof that my step sister committed fraud in the form of a police report. My father has begged me not to involve the police, so I told him he'll need to cover the new cost then. All of it except for my original deposit, because I'm super aggravated. My father is going to have to sell some property to do this.
Starting point is 00:06:41 He's put down the additional deposit for the venue already though. I know that my father isn't to blame here, but that witch is living under his roof. And by asking me not to report her fraud, I can only assume that he's taken responsibility for our actions. Am I the butthole? I do feel guilty, because my fiancΓ© and I are much more financially well off than my father. But I just feel like this isn't my problem to fix. My father did find an alternative venue that was pretty nice and wasn't that expensive, but I just said that it had to be the original venue. I'm just incredibly pissed off. Now OP, you said it yourself. You wrote, I can only assume that my father took responsibility for her actions. And yeah, that's exactly what's happening here. You deserve
Starting point is 00:07:25 recompense, and that should come from your step-sister, but your father saying no, so instead that falls on his shoulders. Seems pretty reasonable if you ask me. And it's true, your dad didn't do anything wrong here, but if he's willing to pay for your step-sister's sins, then that's on him. Opie, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. What you're doing is completely reasonable. Honestly, I think I'd also give your father 0 out of 5 buttholes. I would definitely agree that the step-sister deserves some sort of punishment, but still, it's completely normal for a father to want to protect his daughter, so I think that's reasonable. He's paying you to make it up to you, and he's protecting his stepdaughter from legal repercussions,
Starting point is 00:08:06 so yeah, it's a noble thing he's doing, zero out of five buttholes. I will add though that if your father just covers your step sister's crime and gives her no punishment, then I think I'd have to go up to one out of five buttholes for him. In that case, your dad would be acting like an irresponsible father who is not raising his daughter to be a good woman. Speaking of not being a good woman, your step sister gets 2.5 out of 5 bud holes. With a plan of fitness black card,
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Starting point is 00:08:49 BF black card get started for zero down and then only 29 99 a month plus $49 annual fee. Offer ends November 30th. Am I the butthole for telling my sister-in-law that no one cares that she's pregnant? Back story. My 33-year-old cousin, Mary, lost her husband and two of her three kids in a car accident last week. Mary and her five-year-old daughter are as devastated as you would expect. It's just heartbreaking. Well, today was the funeral, and my brother's wife, who's 26, announced her pregnancy the
Starting point is 00:09:24 second she arrived at our house this morning. We were like, okay, congratulations, but please keep it on the download for today. Well, when we arrived at the church, she can't make gagging sounds and rubbing her stomachs saying, as a mom, I can't imagine what she's going through. They don't have any kids, so people would look at her funny and then she'd tell them that she was pregnant. Afterwards at my aunt's house, my sister-in-law kept making everything about her. Like someone would be in the bathroom and my sister-in-law would loudly say, pregnant lady needs to be!
Starting point is 00:09:58 She literally told my cousin sister to give her her seed, so the lady with the baby could rest her feet. I ignored her until she came up to Mary, stuck out her flat belly and said, My husband and I just found out that I was pregnant, and honestly, we're beside ourselves thinking that what happened to you could happen to us. Mary broke down. I snapped and said, who says that to a woman who just literally lost two babies? No one gives an F that you're pregnant, look around.
Starting point is 00:10:30 It's not just one, but two babies' funerals. Not to mention the love of Mary's life. I knew that you were an attention seeker, but for F's sake, you took the pregnancy test four days ago. Just leave. She left in tears, and my brother called me a fat, bitter, beward. I've gotten phone calls from my brother and my sister-in-law's family calling me a world of names because I made a pregnant woman cry.
Starting point is 00:10:54 If I'm being honest, even though Mary and my aunt thanked me because it was all making Mary upset, I feel worse about making a scene. Please put me in my place if I'm wrong. Alright, Ofi, so this is one of those stories where you read the title. Am I the butthole for telling my sister-in-law that no one cares that she's pregnant and you think to yourself, man, this person's totally gonna be the butthole here. How rude! What situation could possibly exist on planet Earth where that would not make OP the butthole. But yeah, I would say this situation fits that bill quite perfectly.
Starting point is 00:11:29 OP, you are completely not the butthole in this situation. What your sister-in-law did was extremely rude. Like first of all, I can't even imagine coming to a funeral and saying something like that in front of the widow and the mother of the dead babies. I mean, jeez, lady, I get that you're happy and you're excited about the baby and everything, but timing matters. Maybe don't parade your pregnancy in front of the woman who just lost her two babies. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:11:59 That's a shame about your dead babies, but the good news is that I'm having a baby. Isn't that fantastic? Oh my god. Like even just me sitting in my basement recording this video, speaking in my stupid Karen voice, I felt cringy and bad just saying that to an imaginary person online. And this person's rubbing it in the face of a literal crying widow like, oh my god OP. it in the face of a literal crying widow like, oh my god OP. You're not the butthole here, okay? Can we just all agree? OP is not the butthole here.
Starting point is 00:12:30 This woman completely deserved to be put in her place. Absolutely. She should have been kicked out way earlier than that if you asked me. Also, I'd like to point out that my wife just had a baby and she did not talk like that. Coming through, pregnant lady needs to pee. Oh, I'm so hungry because I'm pregnant. Oh, just let me put my feet up because the pregnant lady needs to rest her feet. No, the only reason why you talk like that is because you want people to know that you're pregnant.
Starting point is 00:12:57 O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Your sister-in-law gets 4.5 out of five buttholes. I genuinely want to give her more, but I try to reserve 5 out of 5 for like literal child abusers and people like that. Am I the butthole for kicking my sister out to the streets because she can't take my effing violin playing? I'm a 30 year old woman who's a musician and playing gigs at an orchestra as a violinist. Rehearsals just resume, so the orchestra is my main source of income at the moment. My I live in a small tube bedroom apartment using the second room as a practice room and storage for my instruments.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Three violines, two guitars, a digital piano and a small drum kit. Four months ago, my sister broke up with her boyfriend and I temporarily offered her my spare room. I moved most of my stuff to the living room so I could fit a small bit in there. My sister moved in, but she asked me to move more stuff to the living room. I moved pretty much everything except the piano, to the point where the living room became uninhabitable. Then, my sister started complaining about my violin playing, saying that it gave her headaches.
Starting point is 00:14:07 I told her that I couldn't stop my daily practice without risking my only steady income, but the arguments got worse. She told me to play only when she wasn't home, but with her work schedule I couldn't afford that. I tried switching to an electric violin, but even that can be pretty loud so it didn't help. Several times I reminded her that this was only a temporary arrangement, but she didn't seem to hear me.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Two weeks ago I arrived home to find my piano in the bathroom near Water and Humidity, because my sister needed the space for her new double bed. When I told her that she can't seriously expect me to store my piano there, she said, yeah, you'll just have to sell it, I guess. I got so mad that I told her she has seven days to leave, but she didn't take me seriously. For a week, I only talked to her to remind her how much time she had left, but she always laughed it off and told me to stop acting like a crazy person. When the deadline came, I boxed up all her stuff while she was at work, booked an Airbnb
Starting point is 00:15:07 bid sit close by, and drove her stuff there. She was livid, but she couldn't do anything except take her new keys and stay there. The following week, she kept calling me with an increasingly apologetic tone, saying that she shouldn't have moved my piano or bought a bed. She promised she would put more effort into finding a new place, and by the end of the week, I considered most of her issues to be at least addressed, so I drove to help her move back in. But while I was carrying the first box back into my apartment, she said, I do hope that you'll at least stop with the violin this time. I absolutely refuse to take more of that effing violin.
Starting point is 00:15:47 I drop the box, wish her good luck, and left. Now, two days later, on one hand, it feels like a huge overreaction to leave my own sister literally homeless because of an argument about a violin. But on the other hand, I have no plans to allow her back here because I feel like she would just continue crossing boundaries and never leave. Man, this episode feels like the day of evil sisters. OP, you were doing your sister a huge favor. She was down on our looks, so you basically gave her a place to stay for free. And the only requirement you have for giving her
Starting point is 00:16:24 free room and board was to just respect your stuff and respect your violin practice time. Your sister, for some reason, could do neither. There's that phrase, my house, my rules. Well, yeah, OP, it's your house, it's your rules. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your sister gets 2.5 out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, you can subscribe to my podcast to unlock extra episodes. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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