rSlash - r/Askreddit What's It Like to Be Married to a Karen?
Episode Date: May 10, 2020r/Askreddit We've all heard tales of Karens going ballistic and screaming at managers. But what's it like to be married to one? Today's Askreddit question tackles an issue that's been on all of our mi...nds: "What's it like to be married to a Karen?" And the second question in this episode is, "What's the most messed up thing you've seen in school?" If you enjoyed this and want to hear more like it, hit the follow button for daily Reddit podcasts! Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHbIVjAgAeY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to R-Slash Ask Reddit, we use the answer to the question.
Redditors who are married to Karen's, what's it like? Our first replies from Panda Panda
Ye-Yea. Divorced Karen, haven't had to see a manager since.
Area UC replies, my mom is a literal Karen, as in its her name, but she's like a bizzaro
Karen.
She will constantly ask to speak with managers and supervisors and bosses, but when said
managers arrive, she unloads about how the employee helping her out was fantastic,
hardworking, and friendly, and then she'll spend 20 minutes trying to figure out if she
and the manager knows someone in common.
Nine times out of ten they do. As a kid it would embarrass me. As an adult, it's one of my favorite things about her.
She makes people feel good about the work they do, and it's really special to watch how wonderful she makes people feel.
Is this she shares mom a new breed of Karen? The Kering Karen?
The Thugmuffin replies, not married to a Karen, but married someone with a Karen for
a sister.
My sister-in-law is the freaking worst.
I hate more than anything going to dinner with her, listening to her order food and
talk to the servers.
Holidays are also terrible.
She sends out long lists of expected gifts. She celebrates
every holiday in birthday, specifically for presents, even when it's not appropriate.
Funny thing is, one time I was away from the dinner table when the bill came and sister-in-law
waited for me to return to pay the bill by actually handing it to me. She didn't give
it to her sibling or pay her half, but expressly handed
it to me to pay. By the way, her husband is an idiot and they're a match made in heaven.
And then by comparison, response to that post, my sister and sister-in-law are both
carons. I'll show up to restaurants 15 minutes early to warn them. I tell them if it's
not done to their liking, they will hear
about it and they will make their shipped hell. I'm just there as a warning. I used to
work in restaurants and those people made my life hell. I do what I can to help. Generally
my drinks are better and we get a free appetizer as soon as those two tornadoes walk in and
all hell breaks loose. Not enough ice, table is too cold, it's too loud, etc. I also tip really big
because I don't want to be associated with the two tornadoes. I live overseas so I only see
them two weeks out of the year so it's manageable. Our next reply is from Foco Cholo.
My sister is a Karen. Everyone feels so sorry for her husband. Everything is his fault.
He's treated like a slave.
She only addresses him by yelling, she constantly insults him.
We have no idea why he hasn't divorced her or flipped out an attacker.
We've all told her to cool it and her response is that he's just so stupid.
I could go on and on, but my sister really is a horrible person. And then Tavcat makes this
interesting reply to that post. Unfortunately, you may have to come to the realization that he's
into Fim Dom and your sister can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. Laws Newman replies,
I knew a couple with a Karen. She blamed him for everything. The husband was, in our opinion, something of a saint.
Once she broke a glass in the kitchen, came and sat back down to the table and said,
that was year of fault.
We all just stared at her.
She looked sheepish and said, I knew that when probably wouldn't work.
Their divorce now.
I guess even saintliness has its limits.
And now for the you can't make
this up zinger, her first name is really and truly Karen.
Terran 34 replies, My husband's ex is Karen. She's a classic narcissist. When one of our
feral hens started acting aggressive towards the other hens, my stepson named her Karen.
So that would make her a care hen? Toasty Toast replies,
not married to one, but my aunt is. My uncle is a soft-spoken giant. He never
stands up to her in any way, except once. At their daughter's wedding, she was about
to interrupt the ceremony to close a window because she was chilly. Everyone's
sitting close to her could whisper.
I'm going to do it, but I don't want to be a butthole. My uncle and a calm quiet tone says quickly.
Why stop now? Almost as if his filter just missed this one.
I swear I could hear my dad snort two rows back trying to hold in laughter. Karen was not happy.
The turtle moves replies, my mom's a Karen.
She self-aware she's a Karen, my siblings and I sent her memes about it.
When my stepdad divorced her last summer, we were all amazed he lasted 17 years to be
honest.
None of us like going out with her, it's terrible and my husband just straight up tells her,
no, you are not talking
to the manager when we go into a place.
I'll tell you guys a story my stepdad told us.
Their farm was an owner's small beef and beef farm.
They have a story they go to for beef supplies.
The owner called my stepdad and asked him to please be the one to pick up the stuff because
his staff was tired of dealing with my mom.
He's the only one who went to the store
for the next five years.
Wait, so your mom has a beef and beef farm?
Does that mean that this Karen's house
is literally the land of milk and honey?
Moonbeam replies, my mom is a Karen.
She thinks the world is supposed to cater to her,
serve her, and everyone else is wrong.
Once we went to Carl's Jr.'s and she ordered four burgers for the four of us.
She pulls one out of the bag while the guy is getting our drink and hides it.
She complains that he forgot a burger.
She pulls them out one by one and counts it in front of him.
It's obviously missing because she hit it, and he's swearing up and down, he put them
all in the bag.
I'm stunned speechless, and it happens so fast.
She got a free burger and laughed as we drive off.
I'm just staring at her and she opens it up and eats it on the drive home.
And she ate her actual burger like the fifth one never existed.
I can't even explain how she is when she's in the hospital.
She treats it like a luxury stay in a hotel. Opie, I don't think your mom's just a caron. She's a standard
run-of-the-mill scam artist thief. A long string of random characters replies,
I knew from the beginning there would be difficulties, but I loved her and made the leap to make her
my forever partner. Yes, her attitude towards certain people and things confused me at times,
but by keeping an open mind and accepting her for who she was, everything's worked
out well. We've been married for 10 years, we have a darling daughter, and I've even
come to love my wife's kimchi fried rice. And, PME, your unicorns replies to that comment.
It's Karen, not Korean. Lagas Daddy replies, I taught my nephews ages 9 and 11 about Karen's last year when they stayed for a week after school let out.
After describing traits and observing them in the wild, they asked somewhere around day two,
is our mama Karen? My reply, your words, not mine. Throw away replies, not married.
Four years of a toxic relationship though. I've broke up with her on Monday again.
We're kinda screwed financially because of this lockdown, so we're just feeling things
out for a month before we decide for sure.
This cycle's on repeat.
I constantly have to cut her off and speak over her because of the way she treats people.
Waders, sales assistants, gym staff, neighbors, landlords, randoms we meet in bars, et cetera.
Note, we were both waiters at the beginning of our relationship,
so she's worked in the industry, but still lacks empathy.
She blames the waiter if something is out of stock, et cetera.
My second major issue were both English
as a second language teachers.
She teaches kindergarten while I teach high school.
Now that we're working from home,
I hear how she speaks to her students and it's really
opened up another aspect of her personality that I don't like. She'll berate a student
for not understanding instead of evaluating her own ability to explain.
Dumping on three year olds in their second language doesn't fly with me. A lot of her
behavior stems from a self-defense mechanism due to insecurity,
but that's not an excuse. She doesn't realize how mean she is to people, including myself.
I'm a people pleaser that would rather sacrifice my own comfort than someone else's. She
expects me to be a butl to people because I'm kind of a big guy with tattoos. I don't
exactly look soft. It's toxic as hell. Please help. PS, the passionate hugging is sooo good it rivals most porn easily.
Well there we have it, now we know why all these carons keep reproducing and why they all
have husbands. Because apparently, carons are beasts in the bedroom. And too many tab
opens replies to that post. I can relate to that. My ex-wife could be a caron and this
was one of her
triggers. What made it worse is that usually it would stem from the simplest of things. All the
usual suspects that made people insecure like obvious rejections, insults, and failures, she
managed like a normal person, but she would find those things in almost any situation. An example
would be she missed her train home and called me if I could pick her up from the next town over
rather than wait for the next train.
Oh, 20 minutes. When I got there, she was waiting on the side of the road and I couldn't park properly.
So I blocked the road and waited for her. She just stood there.
When I asked what the problem was she complained, a gentleman would open the door.
Once in the car she then complained that I took ages and why can't I greet her lovingly.
I didn't really care by then, but not once did she even thank me.
I would have just preferred she didn't default berate me.
After many situations like that, I realized everything I was putting in the relationship
would come back as punishment.
Anyway, X-Wife now.
I don't regret marrying her.
I do regret staying with her longer than I should.
That's the only advice I could give.
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Emerald Sparrow applies, not married, but dated a male Karen for eight years.
He was a semi-successful business owner who was twice my age and I was young and dumb
for lack of a better word.
The gist of our relationship was him trying to take over every part of my life.
For instance, he would order for me at restaurants and would dissuade me if I wanted to try something
new.
If I had a problem with something, it would be brushed off, but if he had a problem, then
he would talk to a manager.
Not knowing any better, I just thought he was very particular and even started copying some of his tendencies, like speaking up when I felt I wasn't
getting the right service when I was out on my own. I realized who he was when we were flying back
from Vegas and our luggage was heavier than when we flew in. Obviously we bought extra things,
which made up for the way difference. So, as he demanded to know an explanation from the check
enclosure as to why if it was the same luggage would it somehow weigh more, I innocently answered that it must have been
the extra shoes and clothes.
He was quiet and paid up.
Later, he told me not to do that again, as he knew the reason why the luggage was heavier,
he was just trying to get away with not paying.
At that moment, a bulb went off in my head.
This man, who'd spent $1,500 on a stripper for his friend, was making an already stressful
job more stressful for the clerk in order to avoid paying $60 bucks. We broke up soon
after, and I checked myself on the care and tendencies he dropped off on me.
Our next ask-reddit question is, what was the most F-DUP thing you saw
in school? Our first response is from Violet Waves. A kid jumped over the balcony to try
to beat the rush on Mash Potato Day. He broke both his legs. Didn't get his potatoes.
And probably profanity replies to that. Took me too long to realize Mash Potato Day is
probably just the day your cafeteria serves mashed potatoes
and not some kind of big yearly mashed potato event at your school.
Our next reply is from TX, a couple passionately hugging in the dumpster behind the cafeteria.
For the rest of the year, people would walk up behind the dude crinkling paper and asking
if it was getting him hard.
Wait, the dumpster behind the cafeteria, as in the dumpster where they would throw away
all the uneaten food?
Vic the Madness wife replies,
A kid in my school year stabbed one of my friends in the back.
Not verbally, I mean with an actual kitchen knife.
We were 11.
We were in the UK in its 31 years ago in a place called Peterborough.
I've tried finding it online, but there aren't any online articles about it.
I asked my mom and she's a hoarder and she might have a copy of it from the paper as
it made national headlines.
He was stabbed in the back and it narrowly missed his spine.
He was in the hospital for a week and needed surgery to remove the blade and then went
home with no side effects physically except the scar which was pretty impressive. Obviously, psychologically was a different
kettle of fish. The boy that stabbed him wasn't one of his friends but wasn't an enemy
either. He had gone around that morning saying that he was going to stab someone, but no
one took him seriously. He was sitting at the desk behind my friend and leaned forward
and stabbed him. He was expelled, but at that time I believed the law was that he was considered
a child and therefore couldn't be prosecuted. Knife Crime wasn't really a thing here in the UK at
the time. So sweetie would you do in school today? I stabbed a kid! 3700 replies, in first grade, a boy pulled his pants and underwear to below his knees and
laid down on his back.
Then, a girl spat on him.
I don't remember why, but I will never forget that site.
Our next reply is from Ali Cracker.
Our school bully, a nasty piece of work we'll call C. Ripped the wig off of a new student,
A, who had recently returned from cancer treatment.
They got into it and A. was suspended despite multiple witnesses.
We suspect even the teachers were slightly scared of C. Next day as we were leaving, A. was
waiting outside for the doors to open.
Come straight in, grab C's hair, slams her head into a locker and then proceeds to pull
out a huge pair of scissors, and violently chops off as much hair as she can before the teachers intervene.
She was obviously expelled, but man, she's still my hero.
Bullie C was definitely put in her place after that and absolutely toned down her torment of everyone else.
Wish I knew what became a Bay. And then O.P posted an update onto the bully,
so there's a reason I couldn't pull up any current info on her, and as I suspected,
she did pass away in 2003. This isn't cause for celebration, as from what I gleaned from
old friends, it was a suspected drug overdose. Our next reply is from Baba. I had a friend
that was allergic to so many things he had to eat the same thing every day that he brought from home. I literally mean every day for years. He had a very bad day,
failed to test and some things happened at home. We've met up at lunch and he had two slices of
pepperoni pizza. He said today seems like a good day to die and proceeded to wolf down both slices. I had never seen him so happy.
I walked him to the nurse's office as he ballooned up.
He was hospitalized for two weeks.
He never regretted the decision.
Well, I think of all the ways to die, death by pizza is a pretty good way to go.
Our next reply is from LOL.
Some kid kept taking a dump in the sink every week and they had to keep cleaning
it up. One day I walked in the bathroom and someone had smeared it on the wall. And
then Junior McGarry replies to that comment, had some girls in my high school who were creating
works of art in the same fashion. They were deemed the fecal phantoms and were never
caught. Our next reply is from Chef Shipwreck. A kid clipped a tip of his tongue off with a pair of safety scissors after someone dared
him to.
And then hopeless replies, one of my brother's friends cut the very tip of his nose off
because someone dared him to.
Our next reply is from Bujo Momo.
I worked at an American school in China a while back.
One day, one of the school buses was on the way to campus from the city and there was an accident that students saw. A truck ran over a man riding his bicycle.
The students on the bus witnessed the accident and watched as the man lay dying on the road.
They were stuck in traffic and couldn't get away from the horrific scene for over 20 minutes.
Kids were crying and traumatized.
Most of them were elementary school students.
There was a lot of group counseling in the months
after that.
Our next reply is from Fungus Taint.
This girl in my sophomore year sent nudes
to an English teacher.
When he rejected her advances,
she reported him for possession of pictures
that I can't say the type of on YouTube.
He lost his job, his teaching license, and nearly faced jail time.
He was a pretty chill dude too, and was well liked by the student body.
Goes without saying, the girl received a ton of death threats and ended up dropping out.
Now, before you say it wasn't the teacher's fault because it wasn't his fault that she sent the nudes,
remember that the police would have never found those nudes if he had just deleted them from his phone.
Our next reply is from the third strike.
I watched two girls get into a fight.
One girl had a bunch of ear piercings and was wearing so many hoops that looked like
chainmail.
The other girl got her on the ground, grabbed those hoops and pulled.
Hard.
I will never forget the scream.
The rings didn't give, but her ear sure as hell did.
Blood everywhere, the girl standing over her like a freaking psychopath holding a very recognizable
ear in the air above her head.
It was effing mortal combat in real life.
Our next reply from donut shops.
Many years ago, I sat next to a kid in high school who went on to kill
his mom. He would always bring in photos of homemade bombs from two-liter bottles, flamed
through some squirt guns, etc. I thought it was the coolest thing and was so impressed
by it until later on when I realized I was encouraging a 2B murderer to keep being violent. Hahaha.
Our next reply is from Stanley Stiemer.
Someone had taken a massive dump.
It was larger than a coffee cup and width and considerably longer.
So large.
It was impossible to flush.
People were lined up in the halls to see this monstrosity, including faculty.
You know it's a small town when it turd calls that much attention.
Our next reply is from Quarkis, Machoxi. A giant hawk swooped down on campus
and sunk its talons into the back of a squirrel foraging for acorns about 20 or 25 yards from me.
Scared the bejesus out of me. He stood on it like a boss for a few seconds
and then flew off with it. This was at like 7.30 in the morning,'s out of me. He stood on it like a boss for a few seconds and then flew off with it.
This was at like 7.30 in the morning, so it took me a while to wrap my brain around it.
The guy walking in front of me spun around and said, please tell me you saw that.
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