rSlash - r/Askreddit What's that One Embarrassing Moment that Haunts You?

Episode Date: September 11, 2021

r/Askreddit What is that one embarrassing moment that keeps coming back to haunt you? We've all got a story like that. I even have an embarrassing story of my own from high school when I suddenly became a weirdo in the presence of a girl. These stories are hilarious, strange, and downright cringeworthy. If you've got an embarrassing story of your own, share it down in the comments! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where we read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash-Askreddit where we answer the question, what's that one embarrassing moment that keeps coming back to haunchoo? Our first replies from Chompadillo. When I was in 8th grade, we had to give a presentation on a Greek god. I chose to do my project on Zeus. However, I was nervous, and for some reason I referred to him as Zezus, that's Jesus with a Z.

The presentation was like 8 minutes long, and I said it wrong countless times. It wasn't until I finished the presentation that a kid asked. You know it's pronounced Zeus, right? Zezus Age-Christ OP, that's pretty funny. Our next reply is from General Weakness. My mom threw me a graduation party. She had the party in the community room of the local rescue squad and had a table full of food.

No one came. Most of the people she invited were fellow graduates, so they had their own thing going on. We just gave the food to the rescue squad people. I mostly felt horrible for my mom. Just writing this story made me feel like garbage, and it's been 25 years since this happened. Beneath that, we have a similar story from Treetry. I feel this. Not my graduation, but on my 18th birthday party, my parents went all out and made loads of food. They also bought loads

of booze, and only one person showed up. One! And my parents didn't exactly have the money to waste on all of that. I felt terrible for them, as well as for myself. Ha ha ha! Oh, P, that's one of my fears too. I would be so embarrassed if no one wished me

a happy birthday on my birthday, which is November 16th. Yep, it's coming up pretty soon, in just a couple of months, so I'd be really sad if I checked the comments on that video and no one said happy birthday R-SLASH on November 16th. That's the 16th of November, my birthday! Our next reply is from Mercator. I went to the urinal to take a piss before a sea level meeting, and I tried to squeeze out a fard, and I pooped myself. I had to clean up in the stall and call in sick from the bathroom. I exited the building out the backfire exit. Beneath that, we have a similar story from the aptly named Booty Thunder. Here's got

me. It's okay. I queued the longest queep that ever was queued when I was in the middle of a quiet cafe and study area on my college campus. The look of disbelief on the group of- The look of disbelief on the group of boys nearby is seared into my memory. They had this look of uncertainty about whether this was really happening and whether or not it was okay to laugh. The answer, unfortunately, was yes and also yes. I don't think I went back there for the rest of my college career. I wouldn't worry about it OP.

I have a feeling those guys never went back there again either. Our next replies from the Beast Patela. When I was in first grade, I had just recently moved to Oklahoma. My class was doing a showcase for the school assembly in two weeks. We were going to do some line dancing, and I was paired up with a boy who I really liked for part of the routine. I practiced like a maniac, so I could assimilate to my new country classmates way of life. I guess that I'd forgotten to give a note to my parents saying they wanted us to wear

cowboy boots for the performance. I showed up in flip flops. The partner section starts happening, and I'm kicking my legs like I'm a rocket. My flip flop flies off into the crowd, and it's this older kid in the face. I immediately stop in the middle of the dance, but the people behind me didn't get the memo that I launched a projectile into the crowd. The person behind me runs into me and falls into the crowd. This has a domino effect and causes a mini pile up of 7 year olds.

I hobbled off the stage to the bathroom with only one flip-flop. I cried while I waited for my teacher to give me back my shoe. Our next reply was from Zugs Wing. I was at the airport one time and during the security check-in, one of the TSP people stuck his hand out in front of me. I proceeded to- I proceeded to give him a high five thinking that he was trying to be friendly, only to realize that he just wanted me to wait in line. I'm feeling red face thinking about it right now. And then beneath that we have this story from Westman Tooth. I once tried to shake a random girl's hand who was trying to hold the elevator door

open for me. I got called out on it by another girl who witnessed it, and I spent the rest of the elevator ride really embarrassed. Our next reddit post is from Unsolicited Council, so I was interviewing for a job in the bio industry early on in my career, and it was a elevator ride really embarrassed. Our next reddit post is from Unsolicited Council. So I was interviewing for a job in the bio industry early on in my career and it was a panel interview with about 10 people. They asked me what would set me apart from other candidates, so I went into the normal spiel about being a fast learner and easily cross-trained in multiple areas. As soon as I said that, one of the guys laughed and a few jaws dropped, and I quickly realized that instead of saying cross-training, I said cross-dressing.

What sets me apart from other candidates? Cross-dressing. I did not get the job. Our next reddit post is from GaleraXO. My middle school did a program where a bunch of Japanese students came to visit our school for a couple of weeks. I was assigned as a buddy to show someone around and stuff, and at the end of their visit here, they all took a trip up to New York City. Only a few American students came along, and I was one of them.

The Japanese teachers wanted to be inclusive, so they took the mic the bus driver uses to make announcements, and kind of like awkwardly interviewed each of us in broken English, though the students didn't seem all that interested. When it was my turn, I got the typical, what do you like to do? Which I try, which I tried to shut down quickly with a simple, oh, I'm inquire, I like to sing sometimes. Oh, why don't you sing for us? And suddenly, the mic is in my hand. I am really not one for singing solos, especially in front of a bus full of students

who probably don't know what the hell is going on. I guess the teacher picked up on this, so she encouraged me to sing a Christmas song because those are the only songs these kids would be able to sing along to in English. So I'm thinking, okay, it won't be too bad if they all join in, right? So, so I start.

Rudolph the Red knows reindeer. Silence. I painfully sang the entire song, Acapella completely solo. All eyes on me. Finally the pain ends and I crumble into my seat as awkward polite applause and soos. But this wasn't enough for the teacher. She wanted this to be a participation event. And she didn't care who it is to suffer to make that happen. So what does she try to do? Okay, try again. But this time everyone... Okay, try again, I sing it completely alone. F my life. OP, I felt second-hand embarrassment just reading this story.

Just reading this story. So actually, suffering through it must have been a thousand times worse. Opie, I'm so sorry for you. Our next Reddit post is from Thinhost. I was doing this stupid cleanse diet that involved drinking large amount of silly and husk powder. After four days without a bowel movement, I ended up feigning on the toilet. After four days without a bowel movement, I ended up feigning on the toilet while straining to squeeze out a huge turd. My younger brother heard me falling and hitting my head against the bathtub.

He rushed in to find me passed out on the floor, naked with poop smeared between my legs and all down the front of the toilet. This was years ago, and my brother and I can laugh about it now. But, but the memory still sneaks up on me at night when I'm trying to go to sleep. Our next reply is from Dawn of the Ginger. When I was 13, I got my first bikini swimsuit. The top didn't have a strap on the neck or anything, it just stretched across my chest. I went swimming one day with my cousins while on vacation at my grandmother's house.

I swam all day long, and my bikini stayed in place just like it should. We packed up, and I threw a t-shirt on over my swimsuit for the ride home. Grandma didn't go swimming with us and was at home eating popcorn at her table when we came in. There were uncles, aunts, and older cousins at the table with her. When she saw me in my t-shirt, she jokingly asked of them. Oh no, I think I know where this is going. When she saw me in my t-shirt, she jokingly asked me if that was all that I was wearing. I said nope,

and proudly pulled my t-shirt. And proudly pulled my t-shirt over my entire chest to shore that I had on a swim suit. I watched as her face changed to shock as she choked on her popcorn. I looked down, and what do you know? My freaking top head slipped beneath my boobs, exposing them and making them stick sort of straight out because the top was right underneath them. Everyone at the table just died laughing all with red faces, putting their heads down and pounding the table, howling with laughter. So yeah, I flashed my grandma and a bunch of my relatives. Beneath that, we had this way from Polar Nose Flush.

I was forcing around in a public pool with a group of friends, and I planned to do this elaborate jump-slash dive thing with my boyfriend, kind of throwing me in the air. He had his hands under my feet, and was going to push me up in the air. I shouted, look at me right before being thrown in the air. The force of being pushed up through the water pushed my bikini top down, so I basically shouted, look at me, then flashed all my frames in a bunch of strangers. Okay, it's time to share with you my most embarrassing story. And this is a story that I've actually never told another human being. No one in my family, not my wife, nobody. There's only one other person on earth who knows this story. But I'm sharing it with you, my million plus subscribers out there because I'm a YouTuber,

and that means I'm a slut for content. So for context, you have to understand that I'm actually really extroverted. I've always been really outgoing, really talkative. I'm super, super comfortable going into a room full of people where I know literally nobody and just striking up conversations with strangers. Also in high school, I was really comfortable speaking up

and talking to people and I was kind of a class clown and I was just really outgoing. So you've got to people and I was kind of a class clown and I was just really outgoing. So you've got to understand when I tell this story that me being extroverted is the norm here. But I met this girl at I want to say the public pool and she was kind of like a friend of a friend and we chatted in like a group of people and we kind of hit it off and she invited me to hang out with her at like a Football game that the high school was having with some other team and this was you know pretty normal It wasn't exactly a date, but it was just hanging out as friends I mean I guess theoretically it could have become

DADE if there had been chemistry, but I think she was just being friendly and I was coming into this with the expectation that we were just you know hanging out whatever and so I show up at this football game and I meet her and I was coming into this with the expectation that we were just, you know, hanging out, whatever. And so I show up at this football game and I meter and I say hi and we start just sort of walking around and talking and for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything to say. I don't know why, but she's just talking to me, asking questions and I just was like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Just like grunt, grunt agreeing are grunt disagreeing with anything she asked me and I just could not create words with my mouth to form a complete sin and start to finish. So like five minutes go by and she's talking to me and she's clearly expecting me to be

normal, you know, act like an actual human being instead of just a robot who's silently going, mm-hmm. And as this is going on, I'm like internally panicking. I'm like, damn it, what is wrong with you? Why can't you think of anything to say? Say something! And the awkwardness of the situation was making me more nervous. And on top of that, I was having this weird like crisis, this existential crisis where

I was like, what is going on? Like, I'm extroverted. I've talked to strangers countless times. Why is this making me panic so much? And so the more that I was panicking and freaking out internally and the more awkward things got, the harder it became to form a sentence and actually talk to her back.

What ended up happening was for a literal hour. Me and this cute girl who invited me to come hang out with her just walked around this football game while I said not a single Fing word to this girl and then finally she was like hey, I see my friends over there So I think I'm gonna go say hi to them. I'll see you around I guess and that was the last time that she ever talked to me And to be honest, I can't even blame her because I just followed her around like some sort of sad lost puppy Looking back, I genuinely cannot understand what went wrong with my brain on that day.

I don't think I was like, you know, hormonal sexually nervous as a young teenage boy because I talked to girls before, I'd gone out to events with girls before, I didn't think it was a date, and like she was pretty, but I wasn't like, I didn't have some huge crush on her and it's just, what happened to my brain that day? I realize this story probably isn't like as embarrassing as a lot of stories on this subreddit. But I think the reason why this story bothers me so much is it's just so out of character. Like yeah it's embarrassing it's cringey. I didn't talk to a girl for an hour like some creepy in-sell. But I'm not an introvert, I'm not an awkward person.

So why did it happen? It's just so out of character for me that I don't know how it happened. Our next reply is from Purple Pepper. I was starting out as a teacher in this English course, and one day I had bad diarrhea in this short break between two classes. All of my colleagues were gathered in the teachers room waiting for the next class to start. I entered the connected bathroom to relieve myself, and when I was finished, I was embarrassed to open the door and let everyone smell the foul odor. So, I had this brilliant idea of opening the window in the bathroom to let the wind circulate a bit before opening the door. The window was stuck, and when I forced it, it fell, breaking into a million pieces on

the floor. Everybody heard the noise and knocked on the door. I had to open it. I had to open it, and they not only smelled the horrible diarrhea, but also figured out my attempt to open the window to get rid of it. Lowl, it was so humiliating. Our next reply is from significant boost. I was taking a bus home from the beach

years ago. When I got close to my stop, I walked to the front of the bus so I would be ready to get off. I was wearing a denim skirt that was a bit loose, but I didn't wear it all day without a problem. Well, the denim had gotten wet at the beach, which made it heavier. And it sort of stretched out a bit while I sat during this two hour bus ride. So as I'm standing in front of the crowded bus with my hands full of my belongings, I can feel my skirt begin to slide down. I didn't have any hands free to grab it and nothing to lean against to hold up, so it fell all the way to the floor. The passengers around me just stared as if they were in shock. I stood there in my granny panties wanting to cry, but I started laughing like a maniac instead. I must have looked like a total nut job.

I stopped wearing skirts after that. Dresses are safer. Our next reply is from Sassy Little Spoon. I was working at the flower department of a grocery store. It's Mother's Day, one of the busiest days for flower shops. At the end of the day, I'm tired, sweaty, and I kinda hate flowers at this point.

This guy comes in, we're closing in 10 minutes and I'm thinking to myself, the audacity. But I pace to smile on my face and ask how I can help. He apologizes for being so last minute, and I shake off any frustration I'm feeling. People have work, and maybe he just hasn't had time. It's okay. He asked for something nice but low budget. All the nice stuff is long gone but still I'll do what I can. He says, fix me up something nice like I spent more than I can. I have a soft heart so I'll hook him up. I say, sure, I'll make it look like it cost you an arm and a leg. Ha holds up a stump, where an arm usually resides and says, at least an arm in a way, and waves

at me. And then I died. And then also there was that time that I weighed my boob in chemistry class, and I got busted when the whole class saw me, but I think the stump is the worst. Opie, I don't think the boob thing is embarrassing at all. I'm pretty sure that every single guy on earth who's been left alone with a scale has weighed his twig and berries. Our next reply is from Nicholas Aaron Purvis.

I just started dating this girl who's half Korean. I go to her parents' Korean church. The whole way there, they were all explaining how I was going to be greeted by the pastor and I was supposed to bow and be as respectful as possible. Well, seeing that he was Korean, he had quite the accent. He greeted those in front of me. Welcome, welcome. My stupid self thought that he was saying where from. So in front of my church and my girlfriend's parents, whom I just met, I got up and yelled, Nick Purvis bowie Maryland. He looked extremely confused. He didn't bow. He just stared at me. And let's just say her parents were not super hyped about me.

Beneath that, we have this story from Infinity X-Wates. I was about 13, and a shock humor and all that, you know, just being inappropriate. And in trying to make a friend uncomfortable, I said that his mom had nice tits. He laughed it off. Months later, maybe a year or more, I visit his house to stay the night. He introduced me to his mom as the friend who said that you have nice tits. That was easily the worst first impression that I've ever made. But she just laughed about it and said, thanks. Still, a lesson was learned and I'm a better man for it. Our next reddit post is from Donkeldoz. I was a server at a Habachi restaurant.

We used these little bottles to squirt sake into people's mouths. I had a party of like 20 people. After the show and everything, the owner goes up to the table to ask if they had a good time. One of the customers jokingly says, I don't think we got enough sake. The owner then hands me two bottles

and asks me to go to the back of the kitchen to fill them with sake. So I run back to the kitchen and I see two bottles labeled show Chiku-Bai sake. One of them has Sharpie riding in Chinese all over it. This will become important in a moment. So I randomly pick a box of sake to fill the square bottles with.

Then the manager and I ask who wants more sake. Several people kind of cheer because they're hammered, so the owner starts rainbowing sake into one person's mouth while I do the same to another patron. Suddenly, the patron's eyes go wide, just as I notice something strange. Under the harsh lighting, the liquid that I'm squirting into this young woman's mouth is glistening. It also looks quite shiny running down her face and onto the front of her sundress. So I stopped spraying sake at her as she swallows and says,

oh what the hell was that? It was vegetable oil. The Chinese writing said vegetable oil. I do not read Chinese. Too long didn't read. I force fed a birthday girl half a cup of vegetable oil instead of getting her drunk. Down beneath that we have this contribution. This contribution from extreme ad. Her her poop the next morning must have looked like a baby He's still sliding out. And then KMF says it probably didn't even touch the side. Oh my god, I love my job. That was our slash ass credit. And this is our slash puppy bloopers. Finally, the pain ends. Hey puppy.

Hey puppy. Hey you go. Your tail is being really loud right now. Really loud. Can you be less excited please? Can you be less excited please? Huh? No, no excitement time.

Excitement time. I'm trying to record, buddy. you go what's up what's up buddy dog dog you're on my court you're sitting on my court stand up please. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, I do have to do some work with the dog.