rSlash - r/Bestof I'm Marrying a Lying Gold Digger

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

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Welcome to our slash best of redditor updates, where OP finds out that her fiance is a gold digger. Our next reddipose comes from our slash relationship advice. So, to preface, my family owns a business that is very well known in our sector and makes loads of profit. Thus, I'm a trust fund baby. I try to not be spoiled and I've always worked myself. I met my fiance, Mark, when I was 20 and working as a waitress. We began dating a few months later and he proposed to me last year. Now, Mark isn't poor, he's upper middle class, and while he doesn't struggle in life,

he doesn't have too much to spend and lives very frugally. I thought he was an honest man because he always wanted to pay for his own things, reject expensive family holidays when we were still dating, and he would cook for me instead of going with me dining outside. What I want to say is, I've never had the impression that Mark was going to take advantage of me or my family. In the beginning, my family was a little sketched out and brought up the gold digger argument, but I stood up for my fiance and fought with my dad. My family came to love and accept him when Mark graduated, dad hired him, and now he's in a higher-enhancing position.

On Sunday, I was supposed to work in the evening and I was going to stay with my sister, but I got a fever and I was basically just non-functioning so I stayed home. Instead of staying in our bedroom, I made my way to the guest room, which is better ventilated, has a mini fridge and its own bathroom. Mark came home when I was fast asleep, and I was woken up by loud voices in our garden. I pushed the curtains a bit to the side,

and Mark was there with a few friends. Just as I was about to say hello, I noticed they were talking about me. His friend kept laughing and calling Mark the man. Then they started laughing about me being willing to not sign a pre-nuptial agreement. Then one of the girls that was there said something along the lines of, Mark, Mark laughed and said, Yeah, just three more years and I'm free. At this moment, I felt sick to my stomach and wanted to throw up. I kept hearing them calling me trust fund Barbie and stupid and so on.

I didn't know what to do, so I just lied in my bed and waited until people left and Mark went to bed. I texted my sister and snuck out to her place in the middle of the night and just passed out without telling her anything. I haven't returned home and just told Mark that I was sick and didn't want to make him sick too. My sister's been really worried, but I just feel so ashamed about everything. My family was right. Mark is a gold digger and I fell for it. Even if I tell my family what happened, I have no proof. My father can't fire him just because he's a dick. And as far as I know, he's excellent at what he does, and he has no legal footing to fire him, I think. I just feel

so confused, ashamed, and angry, and I would appreciate some insight. And then OP Posting an update. I opened up to my sister about it and right now she's reading all of your responses with me. We've called up my dad and I'll talk to him tomorrow. Then about two weeks later OP Posting an update. I was very tempted to play the long game and lead him on, but I decided to just present him with a prenup and look at his reaction. After telling my dad about it, we invited Mark for lunch and we would serve him the prenup there. However, to be certain, I asked him if he had anyone over the other day because our

neighbors had complained about the loud noises. He said, yeah, that his buddies were there. He didn't mention the girls that I saw. We finished lunch and dad served in the papers saying that these were a must before getting married. You could instantly see that he didn't expect this. He got angry and asked me to speak to him alone. We went to the other room, and he began babbling about blind sighting him, and that this just really felt like a personal attack. He was trying so hard to sell me on the role

of him being the victim and making me out to be the villain. Then he just said that he had to think everything through and left. I have to admit that I kind of broke down and began second-guessing myself, but I did manage to keep it together. My family didn't pull any, I told you so's. We looked into everything, and I do have the legal right to a victim. The lawyer handled everything He wrote an official eviction notice and after a lot of talk dad decided to present Mark with a deal so that he would leave the company After that was all sorted out. I decided to just simply text him. Hey Mark, trust fund barbie here Since you said that you'll be free in three years. I'll do you a big favor and set you free now. Kisses! My phone completely blew up with messages from Mark after I sent him that. He texted and called me so many times I had to switch off my phone. He came to my

sister's place because he wanted to explain the situation. He promised that it was just a joke like a million times and I said that wasn't cutting it. I said that his friends disrespected me in my own house, and I don't want to be with someone who puts me down to try to appear better. He pleaded, he cried, he begged me not to end things. When I didn't budge, he got mad at me, accusing me of spying on him and ruining his life. Then his manner changed again to apologetic. He eventually owned up to the comment he made, still insisting that it was just a bad joke. Then when I asked him why he didn't tell me about those random girls who seemed to know so much about me, he told me this weird story of them being cousins from one of his buddies

and that they know of me because of my Instagram. But my Instagram's private and I have like 30 followers. I stood strong and I ended things with him. I'll never know exactly what his plan was, but it's better to end things this way. We still have to sort out some financial stuff, but after that I will never see Mark again. O.P. that fever just saved you from three plus years of misery. Man, what a doofus, what an absolute moron.

This guy gets a rich accepting girlfriend who's willing to give him half of her trust fund through marriage and also her family opens doors for him. So he goes from whatever he was doing before to a high paying position and his response is to dump all over that to Insult his girlfriend in front of random people and also OP mentioned the place they lived in had a guest room and a garden So that would lead me to believe that OP outright owns a house that the boyfriend is living in rent-free So also I'm guessing of course, but also this guy's living rent free because

of his girlfriend and he just threw it all away to to brag. Our next Reddit post comes from our Slosh Relationship Advice. My husband, who's 30, used to be my boss. About nine years ago, I started working as his assistant. We spent about two and a half years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR who reassigned me and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time that we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we'd only really been dating for about one and a half years, we knew each other completely, loved each other,

lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn't anticipate this causing any issues, except for my parents. My parents have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn't like me dating my boss, and I hadn't told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how our relationship was strictly professional until it wasn't. How the second that it got unprofessional, we went to HR. How he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married, and we wanted them there too. We didn't mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information

in addition to everything else would just break them. I was only about four months along when the wedding happens so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress. The wedding itself went off without a hitch and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and the reception were at two different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other. But my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and

was ignored. Then my brother called them, and they told him they were going home. I don't remember the exact reason they gave, but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but I found out that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter, essentially saying that I'm an adult who made an adult choice, and I hope they can respect that. 5 years later, I still haven't heard from my parents since the wedding. My husband and I aren't big on social media in general, but I recently posted something for our fifth

anniversary in which I mentioned our two kids in a third one on the way. Within a month of making that post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and having had no idea they had grandchildren previously, now they want to meet them. I haven't responded, and they've made a few follow-up calls since then asking why I haven't. I don't know what to do, but my gut instinct is that five years is too long, and it's about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can't help but feel that I'm being unfair and my brother agrees because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk. And now I'm retroactively applying

a time limit. Should I reach out to them? If I do, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship? And then OPPOAST in an update. I asked to talk to them yesterday. We were on Zoom within an hour. It was my parents, me, and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, depending on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions

to the kids' lives. They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought that he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know that they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them meeting to respect my choices. And they were so ashamed they couldn't bring themselves to send their letter.

Seeing my anniversary post made them realize how much they missed in five years, and they really don't want to miss anymore. I had some questions like, what's the big deal with me marrying my former boss? And they said that it just wasn't what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn't support the marriage. And my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter

down the aisle because this was the only chance he'd get. The way that it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so that he could give me a way and always planned on leaving halfway through. And because he said, my daughter and didn't talk to me directly, it was pretty clear that he was thinking about my older sister who passed away. My husband caught that too, and he said that if they were talking about me, then they

should address me directly. Then added that, if they had planned to leave, they should have told us because then we wouldn't have invited them. And the fact that they waited five years to reach out required more reasons than shame because as a father, he didn't understand how they could ignore their daughter for years. Or only get back and touch when they had kids. My dad snapped that he wasn't going to take this from a, okay, I've never seen this word before.

I don't know if this is the type of word that I can't say on YouTube. So I'll just say it and hope for the best. But keep in mind guys, I think this is a foreign language slur, so I don't understand the context here at all. My dad wasn't going to take this from a cushy, which is a slur, meaning a dark-skinned person. My mother immediately tried to run damage control, but I ended the call.

They've since messaged me several times, trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur was an indicative of a racist attitude. And he wouldn't have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them. I've spent five years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they're just racist.

It's almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing, I would have sympathy for them, and we might even be able to reconcile. But with this, it's now just a question of if I'm going to knowingly expose my mixed race kids to a couple of races, which I'm obviously not going to do. Okay, down in the comments, people are talking about the slur, which, you know, for clarity, I said the slur because OP typed it, so I'm kind of thinking that if the slur was one of those words that shall not be spoken, then OP wouldn't have typed it. So, you know, go easy on me in the comments.

I don't know how bad this word is, I've never heard in my life. The word cushy is generally used in the Hebrew Bible to refer to a dark-skinned person of African descent, equivalent to the Greek atheops. Okay, so this provides some context. I'm guessing that OP is either Jewish, if this is a Hebrew word, or this is taking place in like maybe the Middle East, Israel, something like that, and probably OP's husband is black. As I was reading this post, like in the back of my mind I was like, what, why are they so uptight about marrying your boss? That type of thing, it's not like super uncommon, it's not that weird. I mean, it's a little bit like unprofessional,

but like what's the big deal? But then, ah-ha, they're just racist, man. It's just good old fashioned racism. This guy, this, this, this, this, this, this dad, man. This dad hasn't seen his daughter in five years, five years you guys. This is the first time he've seen his daughter's face. He can't get through a single Zoom call

without calling her husband a racial slur. And then they're gonna run damage control and be like, oh, don't worry, sweetie. We would never say this in front of the kids. Yo, you can even make it through a one hour Zoom call after not talking to me for five years. You think I'm gonna let you around my mixed raised kids? What are you nuts?

And you know what feels worse? Yes, even worse in the racism as crazy as that is. So, like, I've got a daughter. And just the idea of losing my daughter is like soul crushing. It's the worst pain I can imagine. And it's making me emotional just to say these like two sentences. So I can't imagine losing one daughter. And then discarding the other one like trash, just because she married some- some black person.

If I had two daughters and one of them died, I would cling to my other daughter like, like a sailor, cling to a life raft after his boat sink. I mean, that would be all I have left, but they're just like, yeah, but she married a black guy, so ugh, I don't wanna be around that. That was our slash best of redditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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