rSlash - r/Bestof My Husband is a Secret Gay Pony Named Sparkles

Episode Date: January 4, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:11 Sparkles 11:27 Top comment 11:44 Bumble date Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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a sports book worth a slam dunk and authorized gaming partner of the NBA that MGM dot com for terms and conditions must be 19 years of age or older to wager Ontario only please play responsibly if you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you please contact Connix Welcome to r slash best of redditor updates, where OP discovers that her husband is actually a pony named Sparkles.

Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. For about 6 years now, my husband has been a freemason and I've always supported him on this. My grandfather was a freemason, so it's not really new to me or anything and I don't believe in any of the conspiracy stuff you see online. But I'm starting to think that it may not be the best for him. My grandpa always used to say that it went family, work, masonry. But in my husband's case, it's more masonry, masonry, masonry, then family, then work,

then masonry again. He attends Lodge nearly every night. For context, my grandpa would go a couple of times a month. And yet he's only a fellow craft, so not a part of the add-on things like the Scottish Rite or Shriners or anything. I genuinely don't know how he has the stamina for it because I'm part of an improv theater club and frankly every other week is enough. Sometimes he's gone for hours, other times an hour or even less. When I ask him what he's doing, he gets defensive and says he can't tell me because he has

to maintain secrecy. I knew full well that there would be some lessons and ceremonies that I wouldn't exactly be getting a front row seat for, but I don't think that it's unfair that I ask what he could be possibly doing that occupies him practically daily. Hell, some days when he comes back early, he'll go to his man cave and do more work for them. Apparently, he's volunteered to do admin work for his Grand Lodge, but like, when does it end? He doesn't get paid for any of it, and he spends so much on dues to actually do this. I've even tried to get involved via the OES, whatever that is, OP doesn't tell us,

but he point blank shut it down and said that we can only look into that when he becomes a grand mason, which is apparently still years away. And it's not even just our marriage that it's affecting. Some weeks he's out so late with his lodge buddies that he doesn't take care of himself. There's been times that he hasn't worn clean clothes or shaved and plenty of times he's gone into work without showering. Sometimes, he doesn't even go into work and just calls in hours late to say that he's been called for urgent lodge business.

His boss is too good to him and lets it slide because he's genuinely blown away by my husbands and the masons and think these meetings must be dead important. Like I get that a lot of these guys are going to be retired, but Jesus Christ, surely they have to know how it works. It's making a bad impression with people and I genuinely can't remember the last time that we did anything together as a couple. Plus, our bedroom has been dead for at least a year, which I've sort of put up with because I have a low libido. But I guess it's just another symptom. Every time I ask him to do anything, he just tells me that he's too tired. By the way, I did actually email the head of his lodge to say

that I'm kind of worried for him, but I haven't heard back yet. And if they're all this active, I'm not sure how much help he'll be. Then OP posted an update. The head of the lodge just emailed me. He apologized for taking his time and explained that my husband hasn't been a member of that lodge for at least five years and that he left just under a year after he joined. Apparently, he had difficulties with the leadership and has been repeatedly cautioned for soliciting the other lodge members. He told me he checked with other lodges in the area and none of them have any record of him switching there so it seems like he's not going to any of

them. Alright, as you can imagine, the comments are full of, he's drinking, he's gambling, he's on drugs, he's cheating, and who knows, maybe all the above, we're about to find out. Then about one week later, OP posted an update. So the head of the lodge got OP in touch with another senior member and the senior member vaguely remembers that the husband was kicked out because he was soliciting people but he doesn't remember what he was soliciting them for. He described it as invasive and strange behavior.

So me and the senior lodge member, David, had a good long chat before he offered to join me in discussing this with my husband, Kevin, with the hope that we could get through to Kevin and steer him off whatever course he was on. Sadly, I don't have good news. David came around on Monday, and Kevin was, of course, out. Midway through our conversation, Kevin comes home, and when he comes in, I say there's somebody I'd like him to meet. And he just deflects by saying he's tired from Lodge and we'll have to do it tomorrow.

David introduces himself anyways, explicitly as a senior member of that lodge. Kevin ignores him, but then goes to the kitchen, pours himself a glass of milk and starts scrolling through his phone at the kitchen table. Me and David sat down at the kitchen table too. And without a word, Kevin got up and went to the living room, so we followed him there too, where David said that he knows that Kevin isn't attending Lodge because he was the senior member there when my husband left. Kevin does this weird laugh and says,

Heh! So it's a crime to move lodges then? David said that no other L lodge in the area took him on and Kevin goes a little bit red before saying that's because he switched to PHA and then sort of insinuates that David is racist for taking issue with that. David said that he spoke to all the PHA lodges in the area too and he's good friends with a lot of their members and he knows he's lying again. Kevin just says, look, I'm tired. Well, the majority of the commenters on the last post thought that it was drugs, so I just said, look, is it drugs? He said no, but finally admitted, yes, there was something up and he asked if he could show us something. He just needed to go to his car.

David said that's fine and will come with him. Well, I guess in Kevin's defense he did need to go to his car. In the trunk, he got out this black sports bag and I don't know what I was expecting, but I don't think anything could have prepared me for what he showed us was inside. When we got back into the house, he got out this near-lifelike latex horse mask and other leather and latex fetish gear, a full suit with harnesses and everything. If you were... If you were expecting anything to happen, there wasn't anything. We kinda just stared in total silence. Eventually, Kevin restarted the conversation by explaining that he was into a BDSM fetish called pony play and that he went down the rabbit hole, or horse hole, a long time ago.

I won't really go into the full details, but the long and short of it is that he's clearly been dealing with homosexual feelings and submissive desires for a long time, though he's still in denial about both of them, and he's adamant that he's not bi or gay, that he's 100% straight. Obviously, he is at least and most probably bi, but he wouldn't hear it. Anyways, he explained that he was really struggling with these feelings. The urge, as he calls it. And that's when he joined Freemasonry because he hoped that it would prove a distraction and help him improve. And he sort of implied that being around old men would turn him off from this. I could tell that David was a bit offended, but he didn't say anything. But

yeah, apparently this is what the solicitation was about. Obviously, joining the Masons didn't make these feelings go away, so he said he initially started trying to see if any of them felt those feelings too, but no one would bite. Apparently, midway through, he discovered the Pony Play rabbit hole on a BDSM website and was utterly hooked. This is- This is when his solicitation went from, Hey, I'm having these feelings towards guys. This is totally normal, right brother? To,

Hey, are you looking to buy a pony, brother? He claimed that he didn't leave the lodge because he was being disciplined, but because of how goddamn prudish everyone was. Yeah. Apparently, he was already deep into the hole. Hehehe. And while he'd be attending Lodge a couple of times a month legitimately, the other times were him doing BDSM stuff.

Apparently it began with escorts, but eventually he graduated to professional doms because too many of them found it weird or weren't into it enough. There's one main one that he goes to the most called Mistress Candy, but when she's busy, he'll go to the other ones. And if that's not an option, he'll go find a cheap hotel to self-care or do it with an online mistress. Or there's a lot of them apparently, and that's how he got into Fendom, where the whole thing is he gives them money for nothing in return. I don't really know how to describe how I felt as this all came out. The shock, the betrayal, the rage, the upset, the hurt. I suppose I feel quite numb now,

but none of it could have prepared me for what he did next. David said, So, you've been having an affair and using my lodge as cover. Kevin got very angry and said that he hasn't been having an affair. This sparked an argument where Kevin's excuse was that at no point was he in control during this because Mistress Candy made use of hypnosis to- HYPNOSIS AGAIN?! Guys, look, I don't know how many of you guys read, like listen to my stories every single day, but this is the second post in the past like week or two where some guy's like, I have no control, I just got hypnotized by a gay person and now I have to give all my money to the gays.

How am I reading this twice in like two weeks? I'm sorry, I'm just shook you guys. Because Mistress Candy made use of hypnosis to control him and sometimes the urge was so powerful it would M-shift him into Sparkles, his pony persona, involuntarily. Hold on, what the hell is an M-shift? It's a mental shift. Um, okay, mental shift. So I guess your thoughts turn into different thoughts. Okay, turns into Sparkles. Alright. He didn't use this as an example, but I guess it's kind of like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation. Again, there was no remorse or regret, and he said that we can still fix this with couples

therapy because apparently I wasn't satisfying his needs. How did he come to that conclusion? Well, I never independently su- well, I never independently suggested pony play, and I never gave him an avenue to open up about it Which is somehow my fault. I won't go into the arguments that followed but it ended with me packing a bag and David taking me to my parents place. I told Kevin that I'll be seeking a divorce Something which he is also in denial about because the marriage is dead Clearly he values his time playing dress up as a horse more than he does me as a person, so I might as well let him focus on that.

I am staying with my parents right now and taking some time off work until I can clear my head. I can't sleep, so I figured I might as well try to get this out of my system. It's helped, honestly. I'm also currently no contact with Kevin, and it'll be staying that way until I can serve him papers. Who knows what the future holds there, but he won't be in it. Though if you wanted some good news, I'm finally joining the OES.

David explained to me that I can join via my grandfather, so I'm going to be meeting with the secretary next week. Thanks for being on this wild ride, wild ride and helping me see reason. This top comment from i10bo. The scene where he leads his wife and a near stranger to his car, open the trunk and lets them marvel at the contents in silence is absolute gold. Yeah, that part honestly felt like a scene out of a movie. Our next reddit post is from r slash Am I theabudhole. Am I the butthole for leaving my bumble date stranded at a restaurant after she admitted that she was going to her guy best friends place after the date?

A couple of months ago, I matched with Anna on bumble. I thought we vibed really well. She had a really nice and funny demeanor and we had lots of engaging conversations on FaceTime. We set up our first dinner date last week. I proposed a really nice restaurant, which was sort of far from where we lived. But I wanted to treat Anna because I thought that she was special. Anna asked if I could pick her up and then, after the date, drop her off at her best friend's place.

I didn't mind at all. Anna said that she had movie night with her best friend. I picked up Anna and we went to the restaurant. The date went better than expected. We vibed really well. Anna also had drinks since I was the designated driver. However, right at the end of the date, Anna asked if I would drop her off at Josh's place. I was initially confused and then realized Josh was her guy best friend. Anna instantly realized what she said and it sort of became awkward. Anna apologized and I told Anna there was no reason to apologize.

I was just curious about who Josh was so I asked Anna and Anna said that he was her guy best friend and they occasionally had movie nights. Anna said that she wanted to be honest with me because she really liked me and saw a future with me and she admitted that they sometimes make out during these movie nights, but it doesn't go further than that. I appreciate Anna's honesty, but this whole thing felt like a huge gut punch. I was maybe in my feelings, but I just couldn't do it anymore. I told Anna to just ask Josh to pick her up, and I paid for my portion of the dinner and left. Anna looked really sad when I ended the date and left. I felt sort of guilty about it later and called my sister to ask her if what I'd done was

right. My sister said I shouldn't have left Anna stranded at the restaurant, especially after Anna was really sweet and honest with me. I told my sister, how could I be expected to take Anna for a really fancy dinner and then drop her off at her guy best friend's house where she would then make out with him. I had enough self-respect left not to do that. Was I the butthole? Then one day later, Opie posted an update.

Since I left Anna at the restaurant, she texted me a couple of times, but I just ignored those messages. I opened the messages a couple of hours ago, and I was sort of surprised. Instead of lashing out at me, she just apologized again and said that she was willing to stop seeing Josh if it meant that we could continue our relationship. She said after the dinner, she just took an Uber back home and didn't go to Josh's. I texted Anna that there was no reason to apologize, and I shouldn't have left her stranded at the restaurant

and I should have also paid for her meal, since I was the one who invited her to the expensive restaurant. I asked Anna for her Venmo, but Anna said she didn't care about the money and asked if we could continue our relationship. However, I didn't have the same feelings for Anna anymore, so I just texted Anna upfront that I don't think that we're compatible and I don't want to continue this. We chatted a bit more and Anna was very respectful of my decision but admitted she was sad. I too admitted it was tough but it's best for everyone that this doesn't continue further. This was the final text and I definitely think there are valuable lessons learned from this entire thing.

This is kind of weird because on the one hand, Anna seems really sweet and mature and like she understands OP's feelings and she understands her own feelings, which is kind of surprising for a Reddit story right off the bat. But how can someone who's so like mature and has a high IQ be this clueless to say, oh, by the way, after the date, be sure to drop me off at my friends with benefits place so we can, you know, make out and give each other, you know, all kinds of weird stuff. Huh, I guess it was just a slip of the tongue, so to speak. I don't get it man.

How can you say you want an exclusive relationship and you want a date and you're on Bumble but then you're also making out with dudes? Call me old fashioned I guess. That was r slash best of redditor updates and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.