rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars Hiring 1 Full-Time Slave - NO PAY. Apply Here 🥰

Episode Date: August 28, 2020

r/Choosingbeggars Are you currently looking for a job? Well, I've got GREAT NEWS! I've found a job posting that requires where you won't even have to pay any taxes on your income! That's because you w...on't have any income! Yep, this is a job that you will do for free, because I guess these people expect to hire an actual human slave. If you enjoyed this episode, let me know by hitting the follow button! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/VD6eYD3 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch 🎁 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Gabby here is a meditation instructor who just created her business website. Just need to choose a domain. Hmm, meditativeminds.ca or.com. That Canada goose looks grumpy. Also, why is he here? Well, Gabby, he's here to tell you that 85% of Canadians prefer supporting local business on a.ca over a.com. And.ca it is. Now repeat after me.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Oooooom! We'll work on that friend. Go local! Choose success! Choose Dotsie! Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Choosing Beggars. We're hungry enough we're looking for roadkill.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Any fresh hit deer on the south into the island let us know. I'm disabled. We're artists and we haven't had work for more than a year. All of my art that's in the galleries are stuck this year. We're starving. I've lost a lot of weight. Current stresses made my broken spine hurt more recently too. We eat only fresh organics, wild greens, fruits, berries, meat, and have had very little in such a harsh year.
Starting point is 00:01:07 Thanks anyone that helps us. Down in the comments, I'm going to read this post from Recrean Coolos. SIN to HELP! See restrictions, terms and conditions apply. Hey, could you stop messaging me? We don't even follow each other. Would you be interested in doing some promotion for us? No thank you.
Starting point is 00:01:25 F you, GTR Sucks Ferrari is better. Well, you're about to get some free promotion. No way. I'm just messing with you. You've grown a lot brother. Good stuff. Yeah, you're definitely getting some free promotion, but not the type of promotion you're expecting. Welcome to R-Slash Choosing Beggar's Buddy.
Starting point is 00:01:46 On this next post, OP is an artist and they did a free art raffle. Hi, congratulations, you're one of the winners. Let me know what you would like me to draw. Oh, great, let me think. Can I have a color-shaded picture of Blank and Blank dressed up as Phoenix Wright and Mile Edgeworth respectively, and have blaze-creaming objection like in the show. Hi, just to let you know, this raffle was for a bus drawing of a single character only. I can draw your ideas a separate commission though if you like, but it said I can choose what I want. Hello? Sorry, how to take the dog out.
Starting point is 00:02:20 This is the original post. It states this is for a bust color sketch and they include a screenshot of the post that reads, hey guys, I've been bored lately so since I've reached 4000 followers I've figured I'd have a raffle for some free sketches. This is for a bust style color sketch of your character. To enter, just be following me, retweets are appreciated though. In the other post it says anything. The other post was a reminder about the Raffle, and it linked to the original post. I don't want a single character though. Can you please draw it anyway? It's for my friend's birthday.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Well, I can draw him for the free sketch if you want, or I can take a commission for the two characters, but I'm not going to draw a two character color commission for free. Sorry. No, you are legally required to draw what I want because I won. Uh, no, I'm not. If you start threatening me or something, I won't hesitate to block you. No, now I went 3 characters or I'll post about you and you will not get any more followers and you'll be banned.
Starting point is 00:03:22 And then, OP shares a conversation with another contest winner. Hi, do you think I could get a pen instead since they're the same prize? I would like the one at the bottom. Hi, sorry, these are for sketches only. Also I don't have any in stock. Also I would have to charge for shipping. Isn't there one on the board you posted? Yeah, that's the one I kept for myself.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Sorry, I'm not giving it away. Whatever, the sketch isn't worth it. Give it to someone else. I mean, it was free, but as you wish. And then they unfollowed the artist. Requirements to be my girlfriend, Virgin 2.0. One must have decent boobs. Two must have a muscular butt.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Three must have abs. Four must decent boobs 2. Must have a muscular butt 3. Must have abs 4. Must have nice hair 5. Must work out regularly 6. Must have no debt 7. Must have no bad tattoos 8. Must have no kids 9. Must be between 18 and 40 years old 10. Must have thick muscle thighs
Starting point is 00:04:24 11. Must be pretty 12. Cann must have thick muscle thighs. Eleven must be pretty. Twelve cannot have guyfriends. Thirteen, I have to check her phone once a week. I must be present when she hangs out with her girlfriends and no girls' nights out. Fifteen must have a decent job. Sixteen must do everything I say. Seventeen has to call me every day. 18. Must cook me dinner five nights a week. 19. Must come with me on dates. 20. Must do nice things for me. 21. Must give me a nice gift at least once a month. 22. Having kids must be an option. 23. Must help around the house. 24 must help with the finances to a degree. 25 must ignore guys who talk to her besides me. 26 must put me first. 27 must have nice muscular calves. 28 must dress well. 29 must act feminine. 30. Intercourse at least three times a week. 31. Must hang out with me as much as possible.
Starting point is 00:05:30 32. Must treat me like a king. 33. What I say goes, I know best. 34. Must not be a feminist. 35. Must respect me. 36. Must give me hugs and kisses every day. Despite how long this list is, I think you forgot a few. 37 must be okay with this giant mountain of red flags. 38 must be okay with complete and total misogyny. On this next post, some dude hit OP's parents' car, and OP was trying to negotiate with a guy to work out a payment plan. Okay, well, before I tell my parents, do you have a proposal of what we can do to figure this out? Because it's probably not going to be cheap to fix, because it's a nice car.
Starting point is 00:06:16 I know a lot of people don't care for art, but honestly, I'm a fine artist and it's what I'm best at. My medium of choice is singing, rapping, fashion, photography, and video. I know it's not a tangible benefit, which a lot of people don't like, but maybe I can write an apologetic song and direct a video to a dedicated to your parents' personal enjoyment? If they think it's good enough, maybe they could let me off the hook. I think I'm pretty good at what I do, so let me know what they think. Thanks. And whatever money I make from the song could go towards them. But I don't really think I'll make that much because no one really knows me so. I shouldn't have run that red light.
Starting point is 00:06:58 Your car wasn't in my line of sight, but luckily this poem is tight. So I don't have to pay you now, right? Gabby here is a meditation instructor who just created her business website. Just need to choose a domain. Meditativeminds.ca or dot com. That Canada goose looks grumpy. Also, why is he here? Well Gabby, he's here to tell you that 85% of Canadians prefer supporting local business on a dot-ca over a dot com. Then dot-ca it is! Now repeat after me.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Oooooooh! We'll work on that friend. Go local! Choose success! Choose dot-ca. It's just the beginning. Stream the complete Dutton legacy, 1883, 1923, and all seasons of Yellowstone. I love Montana, but I'm doing this far family. Paramount Plus, the streaming home of Yellowstone.
Starting point is 00:07:51 When it helped me with my rent, I can barely afford to pay my own. Lull, seriously. You live in Pittsburgh and have a full-time job. People full of excuses are getting deleted, which means you. I'm going to be homeless. Okay, well, it's been nice talking to you over the last few years. I mean it. I wish you well. So her stance is, people who don't give me free money are getting deleted from my phone.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Yes, please, delete me immediately. Hi, I'm a teen influencer with 47.2000 TikTok followers, and I get 100,000 views per video. Most of my audience is 14 to 7 year olds, and we would love your jewelry and t-shirts. I want to collab with you by advertising your products to help your business grow. If you send me three of your most expensive items in your store, I'll make a TikTok video about them. I hope to hear back from you! Hi there, the best way that you can support a small business is by purchasing from it.
Starting point is 00:08:52 I clicked on your TikTok and it seems like you get 200 views per video, and your followers are 12 years old. Unless you're 1,000 TikTok followers with no forms of currency can help you pay off my student loans, please stop asking small businesses for free stuff. Thanks, clown. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you have to beg, you're not an influencer. Opium is good a lot of these messages from one to be influencers because here's another that op posts. I'm obsessed with your brand. I have a lot of followers on TikTok. 49.7000 and I would love to collaborate and model your stuff.
Starting point is 00:09:32 My TikTok is blank and I get 40,000 views per video and 2,000 likes per photo on Instagram. I can really drive up sales, so what you can do is send me your pink butterfly necklace and earring set, and I'll model it. Hi, we have an offer for influencers where you can purchase something from our store and get a discount code for your followers. If just 12 people purchase using your code will refund you the money. Thank you. It's too expensive.
Starting point is 00:10:00 I don't want them anymore. Man, that really gives you a sense of just how much influence these influencers really have. If you can't even influence a dozen people to buy something, then what are you really influencing? News article. Today we're taking the name Karen back. Domino's is giving away free pizza to people named Karen.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Then I'll reply from an honest to God Karen. I don't like Dominoes, though. Karen, that is the most Karen thing someone could have possibly written there. Bravo. Hey, if you weren't informed by Mike, it's mine and Christian's wedding next month. If you're buying us gifts, the requirement is to buy us gifts above $250 for either me or Christian. So what you're saying is that you want something over $250? Yep. Well then don't expect me coming.
Starting point is 00:10:54 We have beer, cocktails, cake, well then you're losing out because we have so many people here that have confirmed. An added bonus that you may not have realized is that it's probably the case that the reason this choosing beggar texted OP was because the choosing beggar was too cheap to send out wedding invitations. So I'm not sure what the exact price
Starting point is 00:11:15 of wedding invitations are. I guess maybe like five bucks or so per invitation. So this choosing beggar is too cheap to spend five bucks on an invitation but expects $250 in free stuff from each person. How many legs for free shoes? 1 million in 10 minutes. F you!
Starting point is 00:11:34 You realize this stuff in my store is over $400 and I don't need exposure. F often stop begging. Down in the comments, I'm going to read this post from Palace in Wonderland. The choosing beggar asks, how much for a new car? The car salesman says $27,000. Eh, view. On this next post, OP is selling a custom shirt and someone posts. Any chance I can get this for free?
Starting point is 00:11:59 If not, then I'll be taking my own life. You haven't tell August the second 4.30pm Eastern Standard Time, smiley face. So at the time of reading this post, August 2nd was a couple of weeks ago. So I guess see ya. Hey, I saw your profile and I was wondering if you could sort my company out with some design work. This would take about a month and would involve you joining us as a part time employee. Would you be up for something like that? This is kind of a long post, so I want you to remember the next sentence I'm about to say. You'd be rewarded handsomely for it. Feel free to contact me at blankatgmail.com. Hey, I saw your DM on Twitter and I'd be happy to join your team. What exactly does a design work entail? How long would I be working for exactly, and are there any legal issues I'd have to work
Starting point is 00:12:48 out? I'm based in Ireland, and I'm wondering how I'd be taxed, or if I'd be eligible to work without a residence permit. We're glad to hear that. To answer your questions, the design work consists of giving our company a comprehensive rebrand. This includes logos, company materials, etc. You'd be cooperating with our managerial staff on a daily basis.
Starting point is 00:13:08 The contract would run until the end of the month, after which your services would no longer be needed. It's quite a great deal of work, so I recommend you work full 9-5 days on our time schedule to ensure fluid cooperation. As for legal issues, tags shouldn't be an issue. You won't have to register for anything as there won't be any tags. Okay, that sounds good to me. However, I just have a few concerns about the tags. Although I don't live in the US, I'd appreciate not having the IRS on my tail as my life already has enough problems. Are you sure the tax situation is okay? I think you misunderstood. This is an unpaid position as you're benefiting from the valuable experience you gain, which is so hard to come by these days. I hope you're still interested in this job. So you want me to work 9-5 for a time zone that's at least 5 hours behind mine. For a full month with zero pay, you gotta be kidding me. So this choosing Becker described this job as a part time job which will hand somely reward the employee.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Meanwhile it's a full time job that requires you to wake up at 4am and work for free for a month. The picture is for attention. I'm looking to buy a car that needs no work if possible for $2,500. Looking for a BMW Mercedes-Benz Porsche if it's an SUV. That was our slash-choosing beggars, and if you like this content then be sure to follow my podcast because I put on new Reddit podcasts every single day. And be sure to follow my podcast because I put on new Reddit podcasts every single day.

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