rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars I Need A Free Apartment! BTW I'm A Criminal

Episode Date: September 2, 2020

r/Choosingbeggars What sort of qualities do you look for in a roommate? How about a guy who doesn't pay any bills? What about someone who's a thief? What about a guy who consumes illegal substances? W...ell, luckily you don't have to pick, because this amazing candidate has all three qualities! Would you let this insane choosing beggar become your roommate? If you like this podcast, be sure to follow for more daily Reddit content! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/VD6eYD3 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch 🎁 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:20 on the same points vet app, the platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do. Bed on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash using beggars.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Hi, how are you? I really like your images and I'd love if we could do a collab. Hi, thanks for reaching out. I'm glad that you like my images. Are there any specific shots that you're looking for? I currently have a special for three looks and nine edited images for $175. Let me know if that's something you'd be interested in. Oh, really? I was mostly looking for something that I wouldn't have to pay for, which is why I said collab. I currently don't have
Starting point is 00:01:03 funds and would appreciate if we could just work something out and both be happy. Got it, I'm not doing free shoots at the moment as I'm very busy, but you seem to be genuine so I just thought of something. I got this camera from my grandfather that's been sitting here for a while and I think it's going to be a great opportunity for me to test it out and maybe we could do a trade as you mentioned. I also have this really cool backdrop that I wanted to use. So let's say we do a time for pictures shoot where I try a new backdrop and new camera on you. Probably an all white outfit would work for what I have in mind.
Starting point is 00:01:35 It can be a dress, a wedding gown or anything, just white. And we do one or two additional looks where you get to pick whatever outfit or image style that you want free of charge. How does that sound? Hmm. I'm not really into being used as a test out. Sorry. This sounds like something you'd hire a model for and pay them.
Starting point is 00:01:54 So I've got a better deal. Since you're trading with two free looks, I can make you pay me just half of what you'd pay a regular model if you were to hire them for your test needs. And for the white outfit that you wanted, I could find one online and send you the price for it. Or, also, I could rent my mom's wedding dress and have you pay a very low fee for it. I'd be honored to wear my mom's wedding gown on a shoot. I think you misunderstood the word test.
Starting point is 00:02:23 I'm not using you at all. I'm actually doing you a favor since you're the one needing pictures. That test that you mentioned can be done anytime, and I also can do it without a model. Why would I pay you if you were the one who brought up the trade part? And also, I'm not providing any funds for the White Outfit. As I said, it could be anything white. If you don't have something white, send me your measurements and I'll try to see what I can get from a friend of mine who's a stylist. I also have a local makeup artist who I work with, and she only charges
Starting point is 00:02:52 45 bucks an hour for a shoot if that's something you'd be interested in. At your own cost, of course. If not, you can just do no makeup for a natural look. Hope that's more understandable. Wow, you seem to be very demanding for what you call a trade. I have to pay for my make up too. Is this a modern type of slave labor? Come on man, how, why don't we just put this thing aside to make things less complicated
Starting point is 00:03:16 because you said that's something that you don't need a model for. You could just do the shoot for free and I can bring all three looks of my choice. I don't have many outfits, so having your stylist friend would also be appreciated. As for makeup, how about you choose the makeup that you want for me? Not too much makeup, of course. And you get to pay the makeup artist. Since you're gonna pick the artist, shouldn't you be the one who picks what I wear? I think this will make things easier.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Did you just say that I was too demanding after all these things that you want done at no charge? Low? You know what? I don't think this is gonna work. I'm pretty sure that there are other photographers out there who'd be willing maybe to provide what you're looking for, but not me.
Starting point is 00:04:01 I'm gonna pass on this trade. Good luck. Really? I need these pictures and you should help me. You know that I'll look beautiful in all of them, and that'd be great for you. Hello? Can you please respond rather than leaving me unseen? Never mind, it's your loss anyway. Just know that if you get any negative review, you know where it's coming from. This is a mildly face. Unprofessional. So the jerk I was living with kicked me out last night and he stole the phone from me that I stole from a girl I just met. So now I'm looking for a new place to kick it.
Starting point is 00:04:38 You must smoke meth if you want me to chill with you. This guy doesn't pay rent, and he's a thief, and he's a meth addict. Dude, how soon can you move in? Okay, last time posting this. Read the freaking ad. Lawn more for sale, $120. Gas lawn more for sale with bag. Has had a fresh oil change, new spark plugs and blade sharpened. $120 bucks firm. I don't care how far you have to travel to pick it up. I don't care if you have to rent a borrow vehicle. I don't care if you wreck your old lawnmower and need something now and I don't care if you're paying me in cash. The freaking price is $120. If you're reading this ad, don't respond with, is this still available? It obviously is, and guess what? The price is 120 bucks.
Starting point is 00:05:27 I'm located in Huntington, and I will not deliver unless you pay 50 bucks on top of the price. The price, again, is 120 dollars. Have a great day. Posted to the Facebook group, Housing in New York City. Hi, I'm hoping to find one roommate who is never home or a studio apartment if I'm lucky. I prefer to be alone.
Starting point is 00:05:49 I prefer Manhattan. I have one cat. I'm not looking to pay more than $900 a month for wife by utilities and everything included. Move in dates of timber first. Thank you. Please DM me photos and info. I appreciate it very much.
Starting point is 00:06:05 And then down in the comments OP replies, Why is everyone laughing at my post? And someone responds because you're trying to find a unicorn. A studio for 900 bucks with utilities in Manhattan? Oh well, and someone else says, because 900 dollar studios in Manhattan with everything included don't exist. And then OP responds,
Starting point is 00:06:28 I've been lucky to get rooms for as low as $750 with my cat. I'll let you are so negative and clearly mad you're overpaying on rent. $750 in Manhattan with everything included, that's really surprising. No everyone on here is not being negative. I'm all for you never know, posts, but seriously, $900 for a studio just really doesn't exist in Manhattan. You have to go deep, deep in the burrows, if even that. And finding a roommate who's never home during this time is really odd unless they're still staying with her parents somewhere while paying rent. I wish you luck, but you need to up your price significantly
Starting point is 00:07:09 if you want to live alone. I had the money to pay more, I just would prefer not to. Okay, you said you've been lucky to find studios and rooms of that price in lower, but you're actually expecting a person to never be home and not live in that home like they're not paying rent as well. Man, get the F out of here. Where do I say I expect? Y'all can't read? Yes, that's correct.
Starting point is 00:07:33 We can't read this post because after getting continuously blasted and laughed at in the comments, OP deleted her post. And down in the comments of this Reddit thread, people are losing it over her request. Excolpate says, My sister paid 950 bucks for a studio in Manhattan that was partially subsidized by her job. Back in 1999. Metrolinx and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful, as Eglinton Cross-town LRT train testing is in progress.
Starting point is 00:08:04 Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks, and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Childhood vaccines have been around for decades, and are safe and proven to help protect children against 14 preventable diseases.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Learn more at Canada.ca slash childhood vaccines. A message from the government of Canada. Wow, that's too much. Why the extra $400? You're a scammer. Sculpting isn't even that hard. Here's the final deal. I'll pay you $25, which is more than enough for the sculpture, including shipping.
Starting point is 00:08:53 And you will not complain. Feel free to sculpt your own. I certainly won't sculpt for you at any price. And on the screenshot, it just says that this lady is typing. Lady, why are you typing when you should be sculpting? For context on this next post, Opie's texting with his brother. Okay, here's the problem. You told me that there would be wood. Yeah, sorry. It's all gone.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Probably because I told you two weeks ago on the phone that if you didn't get it in five days, it was going to be picked up by the neighbors. I spent approximately five dollars in gas to come over here so if you can just have been mommy at blank then I can let it slide. Clearly you haven't learned to be more giving even in your adulthood. I barely talked to you as it is so why are you starting drama with me when I tried to help you out by offering you free wood. Eugh, you! I'm having 60 people over at my house and was gonna have them build stuff with me, but you had to be the carrot fruit loop little B word buttle, F you! You can believe that I won't be having you at the party, B word.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Reply, egg B word. Bundle of sticks. The best thing about our relationship is knowing that your B-word mother cheated on my father, distancing me from you. Enjoy texting a block number, B-word. Down in the comments, I'm going to read this post from Scary Death Guy. You are not invited to my bizarre carpentry party, you egg B-word. Email Subject Wedding the the 10th April 2021. Good morning.
Starting point is 00:10:26 My client is a well-known social media influencer who is planning to be married at the blink on the 10th April 2021. In the lead up to her wedding, beginning this summer, she would like a documentary-style video, an hour long, and photos taken at bridal fittings which can be shared with her followers. On the day of her wedding, she would like a video documenting the whole day, must be over an hour in length, and a package that includes approximately 1,000 photos. In exchange, she is willing to extensively promote your business to followers on Instagram and Facebook, a combined amount of 55,000.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Including story shout outs and will offer a discount of at least 25% on your packages. Just so you're aware, we've approached for other similar businesses in your area, so a fast response will be beneficial to your business. Hi Melissa, thanks for your email and we really appreciate the offer. We don't usually offer our services for anything other than our regular going rate, however, we would consider making an exception in this case. Firstly, we would just like to check if there might have been a typo when you're original email. Specifically relating to a missing zero on the amount of combined followers your client has across all of their platforms,
Starting point is 00:11:38 as I'm sure you probably know, 55,000 followers is not usually the level of following that can command the free transfer products worth 3 to 4,000 dollars, especially when you take into account bots, duplicate accounts, and the type of followers who are not our target audience. As another example, we have friends that have more than 55,000 followers on one single platform, and they've even been known to pay certain suppliers a fair day's wage for their goods and services. Having said all that, I'm aware that this wedding date is nearly two years off. So if you're confident predicting that by April 2021, your client will have gained the minimum level of following that can realistically put them at a category of
Starting point is 00:12:21 influencer, then we would be happy to make some sort of arrangement. However, we would in this case require a clause in the contract stating that promoting us in your stories to anything less than half a million followers across one single platform by the time of the wedding will trigger the full price and pound sterling for the services you've requested. Thanks also for your thoughtful suggestion of a 25% cut in our fee for any followers that book through your clients promotional posts. Previously, when we've received recommendations and promotions from high value clients, we've been able to actually raise our prices to reflect their strong reputations.
Starting point is 00:12:57 So in that vein, it's helpful to know in advance that being linked with your client will automatically knock 25% off the perceived value of the product we've spent so many years honing. Finally, we really appreciate how valued as artists and professionals you've made us feel by informing us that you've only sent this exact same email to four other companies, and that a fast response will secure us the wedding rather than any artistic considerations. Likewise, please get back to us as soon as possible if you have any further questions, and we can start to get something locked in the diary.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Thanks. Good afternoon. Frankly, my clients and I find that kind of unprofessional email appalling, and we will no longer be considering you as contenders to shoot what would have been a very lucrative wedding for you. It would have been a great opportunity for you to network with other social media influencers and some celebrities who will be making TV appearances later in the year. On top of that, we've had other businesses reply to us with additional offers of goods
Starting point is 00:13:56 and services, basically paying us to work with them. Rather than giving us a load of gif like what you have. This wedding is really important to my client as her mother has been diagnosed with cancer, and it's really unfair of you to be so mean when you could have just said no politely. Please do not email again as we will have to name and shame you if you continue with this abuse. Rickard's Melissa. Down in the comments, Camry and Johnson says, Jesus effing Christ, I hate influencers. And then Smarmie Pap smears replies, influencers are just the personification of, I'm attractive life on easy mode while having no other redeeming qualities. Ha, jokes on you! Not all influencers are attractive.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Some of us look like potatoes. So jokes on you. Don't you feel owned. I can buy this new in store for $139. How are you asking for $300? You linked me the wrong brand, style, and size. It's the same concept. So as a Ford Explorer versus a Jeep Wrangler.
Starting point is 00:15:06 We're speaking in different languages. It's the same size, the same style, doing the same job. Only the label is different. You can't compare with cars. Then go by that one and see how it works out for you. You get what you pay for. I'm not going to explain why different brands, makes, and models cost different, even though they're the same size and type of bike. That was our slash choosing beggars, and if you like this content, then check out my Patreon where I publish extra podcast episodes. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. every single day.

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