rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars My Mommy Has Cancer So GIVE ME YOUR STUFF!
Episode Date: April 28, 2020r/Choosingbeggars The person in today's post believes that they deserve the "my mommy has cancer" discount. Because, you know, modern capitalism crumbles the second somebody is sick. They'll try every... trick in the book if it means getting a discount! Also, be sure to check out my podcast at the link! And subscribe for more daily Reddit posts! Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQFm5qx0I8E Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to our slash-choosing beggars, where a buyer tries to get the...
But my mom has cancer, discount. Blink has an opening in her group, and I might just join hers because she has a really
good idea.
We're halfway through the group project.
You've done nothing and you're thinking of switching groups.
Wow.
I want a good grade, so...
And then, about a day later, choosing Beggar asends this.
WTF.
What the F? Did you want tohare the document and delete my name?
Yes, and because you won never did your project.
Two didn't present.
The F?
I wanted to see which group I get a better grade in.
F you!
On this next post, a Choosing Beggar wants a free plane ticket
and gets offered a bus ride ticket instead.
That's the greyhound you're out of your mind. No, I'm flying. Not taking a greyhound into Tampa with weird people.
That's for poor people. And flying is faster. News flash, dude, if you're begging for plane tickets, then that probably makes you a poor
person.
Hey, this is Kiara, I'm France with Brad.
He told me you have a cheap car for sale.
Good evening, yes, I'm selling my 2006 Honda Civic.
It's my third vehicle, and I don't have much use for it anymore.
Did you mention price?
No, he just said it was cheap.
How much?
I'm asking for $3,000. It only has 100,000 miles on it,
and it's pretty clean. Only has a scuff on the rear bumper from someone tapping it while they
were trying to parallel park. And of course, some miscellaneous door dings, scratches, etc. brand new
tires and brake pads too. No, I'm sorry. No, it means laugh out loud. I think it's funny you went $3,000.
I could buy a BMW for that.
Right.
Well, I can tell you with 100% certainty that the $3,000 BMW will not be nearly as reliable
or cost effective as my Civic.
But fair enough, good luck with your search for a car.
What color is it?
Huh?
What color is the car? It's white.
Lol nah, I hate white. So just don't buy my car then? Lol I won't. Good luck selling your
piece of garbage, huh, da buddy. Tell Brad to call me when he has a minute and go F yourself.
I can't understand why this woman is so aggressive when she doesn't want to buy it.
If you like going into a fast food place and they're like,
alright man, would you like fries with that?
Fries?
Raffle, yeah right.
By the way, Raffle means rolling on the floor laughing because that's such a stupid suggestion.
Good luck selling your ugly fries.
No one's gonna want to buy them.
Man, this is a Wendy's.
So, for context on this next post,
it looks like OP had some sort of
Christmas gift exchange with his co-workers
and the spending limit for each gift was $50.
Hey, thanks for the chocolates and the blanket.
I really appreciate it.
Yeah, no problem.
I actually have one of those blankets.
They're super comfortable.
I love it.
So, I know this is kind of awkward,
but the spending limit was $50, and I looked online, and it seems that the blanket and chocolates
only add up to about $30. Do you think it's possible you could get me something else? My kids have
been spending me up the wazoo lol. Yeah, no problem.
I could just give you 20 bucks if you'd like.
That way, you could get yourself in your kids something nice for the holidays.
You think it's possible you could get me this?
My kids would love it, thanks.
A $120 tablet?
I think that's a bit over the $50 spending limit.
I know, it's just that my kids have been spending me up the wazoo, and it would make their
day if mommy gave them something nice like this.
THANKS, I appreciate it.
And I don't mean to be abrasive or anything, but you're an engineer so you make quite
a bit more than I do, lol.
I'd also just take 120 dollars cash if that makes
it easier on you. The spending limit was 50 bucks, so I'd be more than happy to give you
20 bucks or something worth 20 bucks. I understand you have kids, but I also have things I need
to pay for, and unfortunately 120 bucks for a coworker is a bit out of my budget.
You're kidding me, right?
You don't even have kids.
What else would you spend your money on?
Now you're gonna ignore me?
Real nice of you during the holidays.
Honestly, don't know how you live with yourself.
Disgusting.
Fine, I'll take $20 cash, please.
Well, forget it.
Thanks for the karma.
What? I really like the comment from no meaning to this.
Engineer and no kids just deposit all your paychecks directly into my account.
Thanks, Mary Christmas. I need an f-ing ride. Does no one in this world help anymore?
I mean dang, where's the Southern hospitality anymore? Oh Oh yeah, that's right, there is none anymore.
I forgot.
I was raised old school and it's hard to find good help anymore.
Not to mention I'm offering good gas money and still can't get no help.
You know the world's coming to an f-dup end.
You can't even pay somebody to give a rider for anything fat.
What's this world coming to for real?
For real!
And then the reply down below says, it's a pandemic lockdown right now and you're complaining
like this on Facebook about someone not giving you a ride?
Metrolinx and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful, as Eglinton Cross-town LRT
train testing is in progress.
Please be alert, as trains can pass at any time on the tracks.
Remember to follow all traffic signals.
Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so.
Be alert, be aware, and stay safe.
For your holiday season, real Canadian Superstore has more legendary ways to save than any other Be aware and stay safe. is posted on a Tinder profile. Fat Girls and Black Girls to the back of the line. If you're belly jiggles when you
walk, you're disgusting and nobody wants a fat, lazy, overweight out of shape, her
she fed sweat hog next to them in the bed. If your mouth is gross, buy. If you don't
have a job or you're a child and play video games all the time, see ya.
If you have kids, that's a no-go. If you're a giant and or built like a man, get F'd.
Real women only. 15. Gemini. Down in the comments, Laura-La-La-Ross says it best.
Fat girls and black girls to the back of the line as if there's a line to begin with, shaking my head.
Selling Microsoft Surface Pro for 600 bucks.
Is it still available?
Yes, it's still available.
Will you take 150?
I'm sorry, I can't go that low.
This surface was already 1700 when I bought it.
150 bucks would be a steal.
Go find another seller that's gonna fall for your scams. Come on, bro. My friend is telling his to me for 150. So why don't you go buy his?
Because his is older and only has four gigabytes of RAM. You're not gonna get mine for 150 bucks.
Sorry, bud. Bro, my mom has cancer. This is a gift for her.
Be nice, bro.
Hello?
Yes, sorry.
Please stop wasting my time.
F-U, jerk.
My mom is gonna die because of you.
L-M-A-O.
I love this contribution from Riggs Boson down in the comments.
Son, did you give me the fifth generation Microsoft Surface Pro?
Forgive me, mother, I failed you.
Goodbye, Sun.
Ehh...
On this next post, OP is giving away a TV and TV stand for free and is choosing Beger
Ass him to deliver it to her.
And OP responds, not for free.
So I'm not entitled to a free TV because I don't drive shaking
my head. And I gotta be charged delivery for something that's free shaking my head.
Ever since Trump got in the White House, you people have been confused. I'm not driving
an hour one way to give you something for free. In a my fault you can't f-ing drive you
f-ing loser. I'll throw it out before I deliver it for free. It ain't my fault you can't etping drive you effing loser. I'll throw it out before I deliver it for free. Why on earth is this woman blaming Trump because
she's lazy? Then down in the comments we have this story from Hogan Forged. Finally one
of these with an appropriate response. I'd rather throw it out too. I had this happen
sort of with the garage sale. A box of old books for five bucks. A guy offered me one
dollar. He was such a prick about it I I just had to forget it and didn't counter
offer. He says to me, don't worry, I'll come back at the end, these will still be here.
They were by then, but I hated the butthole so much, I threw them in my car and donated
them the following day. Man, it felt good to tell the guy he wasted even more of his time coming back.
When I get big for streaming or YouTube, I personally want to help artists with commissions, give them big tips,
and tell them to keep going. Their art is amazing. Helping other people makes me feel good.
Then, if you click on this person's Twitter profile, look at a conversation they had with an actual artist, you'll see this choosing Beger as full of it.
An artist said,
The May comic market has been canceled.
I've lost some of my important sources of income.
However, if you buy a copy of my manga, it'll support me.
So please read the English translation of this manga.
Please!
Will it ever be online for free? Or will I have to go back to pirating it?
Free does not mean support for me. Piracy it is! Well kiddo, if you're planning on becoming
a professional YouTuber let me give you this piece of advice. If you get famous comments like this
will come back to haunt you. So it's better to act like a decent human being now and not regret it later.
A friend told me about a seamstress at sewing face masks for free for her community with donated
fabric and the men are angrily refusing to wear floral patterns. Daring a pandemic.
Honestly, what's more important to protect here? Your masculinity or your immune system?
Can any of you worthless cucks actually give me decent advice or no?
I need a job that pays over $17 with no or an easily fakeable drug test.
Stop telling me to go to Amazon, I don't care they're paying 19 bucks.
I refuse to suck Bezos' dick for any amount of money.
Cry about it. Also, no bestos are dick for any amount of money. Cry about it.
Also, no bestos are L Woodstaffing either.
Do you imbisels realize that easily passable doesn't mean an effing piss test?
And I'm not strapping a condom full of fake piss to my balls either.
Me and Tyrone need those for your wife tonight, LMAO.
Yeah, nothing makes me want to help out someone quite like.
Give me a job, you loser, and then I'm gonna bang your wife.
I was approached at the dollar store
to help someone buy these three things for her kids.
Yeah, that hair dies necessary, so I say fine.
Then at the register, she added an Asoda, Snack, and Nail Polish.
Yeah, lady, no, I'm not getting your snacks in junk too.
Then down in the comments, people post similar dollar store encounters.
I drink liquids ads.
My first time in the dollar store, this woman was in front of me in line, but she kept walking
away to go look at stuff while we waited.
I didn't really care until she saw she was next and she took her stuff and walked away. So me and the cashier assumed she wasn't ready. I moved
up and proceeded to check out. Well, the woman came back and was so angry that I didn't
save her spot. The cashier was like, you left your spot. So then as I was getting my
change, the woman was like, oh, I see how it is, can I at least have that change you're
getting? And I was just like, lol no. Then we have another story from used onion. I used
to work at a Dollar Tree. We had one customer who everyone hated. She'd come in, fill a
cart full over at least an hour, sometimes longer. While constantly coming up to the
registers wanting us to personally help her shop for things.
And when she finally came to check out, she'd put literally half of the stuff back.
And by back, I mean, laid it to the side for us to put back for her.
Anyway, she walked to the store.
So she spent her entire trip trying to wrote people into giving her a ride home.
A ride home with like $100 dollars worth of one dollar junk.
If they agreed at the beginning of her trip, then they had to wait around for her for an
hour to finish up and she just tells them, oh, I just need to have a few more things.
Absolutely zero shame. Half the time, she wouldn't have enough money and would ask people
for help. It's never even necessities like food. It's always
things like sucky Julian Michaels workout DVDs from like a decade ago or crossword puzzles.
It was so infuriating. During Christmas, she'd hijack a register area just to use a table to sort
things. Like she'd come up with all her stuff, put it on the register, and scream like a
banshee if you touched it,
because she wasn't ready to check out. She just wanted to know where she stood for
gifts, and then she'd leave to go back shopping with like 20 things left that she decided
she didn't want, that we had to clean up before we got an actual customer. I never got
to the point of telling off a customer in my years of retail, but man, she's the closest
I've gotten. I've snapped at her and she's called me mean before though.
So for this next one, the Choosing Beggar Posts This Review.
Don't order from blank jerky.
Rift me off 60 bucks and won't send jerky.
Bad person in the community.
Then the jerky company posts this conversation.
Will I get a tracking number for my Jurkey package
or is it just like a wait and see type of thing, lol?
Hey there, the reason you haven't received a tracking number
is the Postal Services Kicture package back
to us for an incorrect address.
The address we have is blank.
The Postal Services will need a unit number.
Unit number 205.
When we get it back and reship, you'll get a tracking number.
K, including a bonus.
You didn't include your apartment number when you submitted your order.
We will now have to pay for shipping a second time, meaning we'll be losing money on your
entire order.
Well, it didn't have an apartment number when I ordered, so that's why.
I went over my order and it never asked, so get it right.
60 bucks worth of beef jerky, I literally ordered 60 bucks worth of beer tonight and
they still found my place. Your order has been cancelled and a full refund has been issued.
It'll appear in your account in 5 to 10 business days.
Wack, I'll probably never order from you again. I expect a full $65 refund, and I'm going to post this on the jerky website group so
no one orders from you again.
So after the company posted the screenshot, the community absolutely blasted this choosing
beggar, and he eventually deleted his post.
And then the company posted an update where this choosing beggar apparently sent this email.
Send me my jerky or fn's, send me my dang refund.
It's not that hard to be fn honest.
And if you block me, I'll go to the cops.
I already have your email and Facebook.
That was our slash choosing beggars.
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