rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars "Pay Me $1,000/Month to be My French Maid"

Episode Date: August 8, 2021

r/Choosingbeggars Are you looking for an apartment? Do you speak French? Well, for the low price of $1,000, you can rent a fantastic room in this guy's house, where you'll also be expected to clean his house and watch after her kids. You have to pay rent AND do chores?! What a deal! He says the French is because you're supposed to tutor his kids, but we all know that what this guy really wants is a live-in French maid. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Business notifications getting out of hand, buried under an avalanche of customer emails, texts, and social media messages, keep your edge with Thrive Small Business software and never miss a message again. Thrive offers one solution to communicate, market, and run your business. Put simply, small businesses run better on Thrive. Get Command Center for free today at thrive.ca. That's THRYV.ca. Terms and conditions apply. Free plans have limited functionality. Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash choosing beggars, where someone is looking for a full-time live-in slave. Good morning. We need you to sign our terms and conditions in order to continue serving on our board and helping us on our mission to provide the community with much needed services.

Can you sign and return the document today? I'm sorry, but as we previously discussed, I'm not comfortable with the restrictive covenants, the non-compete, and the nondisclosure agreement. I will not be signing it. I don't understand your hesitation. This is a boilerplate agreement cooked up by our attorney. Everyone be signing it. I don't understand your hesitation. This is a boilerplate agreement cooked up by our attorney. Everyone is signing it. I enjoy the organization and the help that it provides. I'd like to continue serving, but I'm firm that I will not sign. But we need you, your time, and your treasure.

You can have them, but I'm not willing to sign something so restrictive just to continue my role as a volunteer and a volunteer leader. Let me touch base with our accounts so I'll get back to you. Okay, so I was really kind of confused on this post because as I was reading it, it sounded like a pretty normal conversation between like an employer and an employee. Obviously if the employee wants to work at the company, then he's going to have to sign something. But then it turns out that OP is a volunteer, and this organization

wants OP to sign a document with a non-compete clause? This is just really bizarre, and I'm with OP on this one. I wouldn't sign that contract either. Once an organization starts trying to say what you can do with your unpaid time, that's a big red flag. Wanted full-time babysitter. So my babysitter just bailed last minute. I need care for two day shifts, 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. and two night shifts, 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. This is every week, but the days may vary. Two kids ages 6 and 3. The three-year-old is in her own daycare and would only need to be picked up by 4.30pm unless it's a weekend then she'll be home as well. This will be a daily rate not hourly because it's full timecare.

40 hours a day for day shifts because it's only one kid except for a few hours after pick up. And $60 a day for night shifts in weekends. Alright, so I had to do the math one on this one too, and a 12-hour shift divided by 40 bucks comes out to $3.30 an hour. OP points out that in their country, minimum wage is 15 bucks an hour, so why ever do this? You could literally go to any entry-level job and make five times the amount doing probably easier work. Our next Reddit post is from Interesting Ed. My aunt who lives in Armenia has a house with a big

backyard which she basically turned into a vegetable and fruit farm. Among her plants is a huge raspberry bush with loads of raspberries on it. One day she's out picking raspberries and her neighbor sees her from her backyard. My aunt grows so much fruit that she basically lets anyone come in to pick her of much they want to take home. The neighbor said, wow you're so lucky to have that many raspberries. I wish I could have some of those. My aunt said, feel free to come in and pick some for yourself. Me doing that kind of work in this heat? No thanks. Can't you just give me some of those that you've already picked?

My aunt refused, good on her. Yeah, okay, so you're too good to pick free raspberries yourself because it's hot. But you'd happily accept them if my aunt picked them for you in this heat? Get out of here. Done in the comments, we have this contribution from Environmental Toe.

We let our neighbors pick raspberries, and to this day, they complain about how their kids got cuts and scratches. Our next Reddit post is from DJ Devon. Everyone knows the cost of plywood is sky high right now at around 70-80 bucks per sheet. My roofers just finish removing all the old shingles and installed underlayment. I hear my doorbell rang, and then someone pounding on my door continually like it's an emergency. I answer the door thinking it might be the roof inspector or an emergency, but instead it's two old ladies in their sixties with an old Cadillac parked behind my car in the driveway. They asked if they could

have the sheets of plywood stacked behind my tree. It was not a trivial amount that they were asking for. I explained that my roofers haven't finished the roof yet, and what isn't used, they'll be taking back. They look surprised that I was having roof work done, even though they were literally standing right next to a 20-foot dumpster by my front door filled with old torn shingles. I mean, they literally had to walk around the dumpster to bang on my front door. Then one of the women said, you can give us two sheets. You're not using all of them. We went a build a porch.

Her audacity put me on my heels for a moment, but I was still kind to them because they claimed to live a block away and I just moved in two months ago. Again, I politely said that they couldn't have any of my plywood, but Home Depot has plenty for sale. Then I politely said that they couldn't have any of my plywood, but Home Depot has plenty for sale. They said, yeah, but Home Depot wants like $80 a sheet though. To which I replied, I know that's how much the roofing company charged me per sheet. That seemed to shut them up and they started walking back to their car.

I have a fake cat figurine near my front door. It's quite life like at a distance. One of the two women turned around and asked, how much for the cat figurine? At this point, I'm starting to get upset at their pushy behavior and treating my property like a flea market. I say, sorry, it's not for sale. Have a nice day and I close the door. I watch through the people to see them drive away and I thought that was the end of this

bizarre encounter. Later that night as I'm leaving to go to the convenience store, I see a sticky note in the window of my car in my driveway that reads, I would like to buy this car with a phone number. They must have come back at night when I was at the store, WTF? My cat figuring now lives next to the back door, I've moved all the lumber to the backyard and I'll be setting up security cameras. On this next post, OP is giving away free shelves. It's currently still available. First come first serve. Where are you located in Oregon? I'm near Mommy Bay State Park.

Is that all you have for free? Just those shelves? Kind of far for a couple of shelves if you know what I mean. But if you've got a couple of more free things, then that would be cool. How is it that something that's literally free still isn't a good enough deal? Dude, it's free! What's the problem? Hey everyone! I'm looking for in-home childcare for my two-month-old in-blank. I currently work from home, but I need someone to come to my apartment and sit with him during work hours. You must be good with animals.

We have two dogs in a cat, and the pay is $150 a week. The job is Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 4.30 p.m. 8 to 4.30 is, I think, 8.5 hours, so 8.5 times 5 is 42.5 hours. So if we take $150 and divide that by 42.5 we get three $3.50 per hour Nice our next word it poses from lightwell when I was in junior high I was a poor kid living in a highly affluent area I was one of like

10 poor kids in the entire school. Everyone else had doctors and lawyers and CEOs for parents. The schools were so well to do that there wasn't even a free or reduced lunch program. Parents, actual parents made meals to bring to school for the kids who just didn't have any lunches. They did it every day, and these weren't just simple cheese sandwiches either. They were full on meals with side desserts and drinks. One time I got a lunch with this puffed corn thing called pirate booty, and I complained that the pirate booty sucked. The social worker who handed them out said that she would tell the parents. I've regretted that for the last 20 years. I was a spoiled little bastard.

These parents made free lunches for other people's kids, and I complained. I still regret it to this day. OP, we've all been there. I think there are those times when you're like trying to go to bed at night and you close your eyes, and then suddenly, just this memory of this stupid, idiotic thing that you did when you were little just pops into your head and you just cringe at yourself. Just look at it this way OP, there is zero chance that anyone can live their entire life without doing anything they regret. We've all said dumb things, done dumb things, and thought dumb things, so don't be too harsh on yourself. For example,

let me tell you one of my cringy stories that I look back on and it's just so awkward and so dumb. And it's not even a big deal. I don't even know how entertaining this story is going to be, but every time I think about it, I just cring. Okay, so high school graduation. We're in this like big gymnasium where we had the actual celebration of the event. And afterwards, the kids kind of like gathering around and they're just sort of socializing after the event. And there's this woman who works at the school and she's handing out slices of cakes. And they have way too much cake. You can tell just by looking that there's like 10 cakes and each cake has maybe like 50 slices.

That's 500 slices of cake. And there's only like, you know, 200 or 300 kids around. You can tell immediately that they have a cake surplus. And me, I'm just riding high, I'm really excited. Also, you should know that I have a sweet tooth. I really, really love sweets, desserts, sherry foods, even as an adult. I still really love that stuff.

So this woman shaves off this tiny little slice, which to me upset me a little bit because she was cutting bigger slices for other people. So she cuts me this little slice and she hands it to me. And I'm like, come on, give me more cake than that. And she was a really nice polito lady. And she was like, well, you know, not everyone has gotten cake yet.

So let's make sure that everyone gets a slice first. Then we can look at getting you a second slice. I say fine, take the cake and leave. I bite into the cake and it's the most disgusting, overly sugary, like flavorless, just awful cake that I've ever had in my entire life. Imagine taking a tub of lard, scooping it out into the shape of a cake, and then just covering it with sugar.

That's what it tasted like, just disgusting. So I quickly found a trash can, tossed it out, and just went on with my day. Except like 15 minutes later, I had all but forgotten about this, and this nice old lady specifically comes to me with another slice of cake, and she's like, here ya go, sweetie. Everyone's gotten another slice now, so I wanted to make sure that you got a slice. And I was like, thanks, ma'am, I appreciate it. She turned around and walked off. Alright, so here I am with an even bigger slice of cake that I have zero interest in because it's disgusting.

So I'm next to this open room and there's basically nothing in this room except for a single table. So I quickly duck into the room, put the cake on the table, and just turn around and leave. And as I was leaving, that old lady was walking past me with some supplies that I guess she was going to store in that room. So she saw me abandon the slice of cake, which I know that she would have had to recognize because she's a lady cutting all the cakes and she cut me an extra big slice. So she went through all the trouble of first being considered to everyone there, then specifically hunting me down after everyone got a slice and giving me an extra slice. And the first thing I did was just abandon the slice of cake and she caught me within

I don't know, 10, 15 seconds. I felt so bad because she was so nice I was just being like a little entitled little turd for no reason. So anyways, that's what keeps me up at night. One of my countless awkward cringy memories that keeps me from falling asleep because I can't let go of awkward cringy things from my past. How about you guys down in the comment? Let me know a cringy story from your past that your brain just won't let you forget.

Sometimes I feel like if we ever got to the point in like modern technology where you could just delete memories from people's brains. Then that person would make an absolute fortune from people just erasing awful, cringy, embarrassing memories from their past. That end video game fans because video game players could play their favorite video game, delete the memories of that video game, and then just play it again over and over and over for the rest of their life because that's what gamers would love. Room for Rent You'd be living with a family with young kids.

Rent includes one fur and her spit room, Wi-Fi, utilities, and food. We ask that you help with household duties and babysitting, such as tidying the kitchen and living room each evening and two evenings of babysitting. Females only. We prefer French speakers because our kids are in French immersion. Our house is on the beach and kids' point. We have four chickens, two bee hives, a greenhouse, and a fabulous vegetable garden. It's an unbeatable location directly across the street from the beach and close to trendy shops and restaurants.

This is for $1,000 a month rent. So you have to pay $1,000 a month rent. So you have to pay $1,000 a month rent and clean their house and watch their kids. And weirdly, they only want a woman who speaks French, so I have to wonder if they expect you to dress up in some French made costume. So like, let's be clear, there are people who come to your house, clean everything, watch your kids and live there. Except they don't pay rent, you pay them because it's a live-in nanny. Our next word it post is from Controversch.

So I work at a strawberry stand. I drive to the farm every morning and collect trays and trays of strawberries to sell for the day. It's about a 15-minute drive there, a 15-minute drive back, and it helps expand the area that the farm can sell to. The deal at my stand is two baskets of strawberries or five pounds and one basket is three pounds. This is obviously to push the upsell a little. Everything's going well for the day and then someone who I can only describe as an alpha-caron-approach-assistant.

One basket of strawberries, please, here's two pounds and fifty pants. Sorry, but it's three pounds for a Baskative Strawberries. But at the farm, it's 2 pounds and 50 cents, and these are the same strawberries. Are they not? I explain that the extra 50 cents is for me. It helps towards collecting, selling, wages, gas, equipment, etc. I never thought it was a big deal. The Alpha Karen demands that because she knows the farm, I should sell a tour for 250.

Now I don't usually mind helping out if someone is short on change or something, but this lady was just awful, so I was a little annoyed at this point. I'm sorry, but if you want these strawberries for 250, then you'll have to go to the farm. I'll tell my husband about this. This Alpha Karen storms over to her husband, throws the car keys at him, and demands that he drives 15 minutes to the farm and 15 minutes back to pay 50 cents less for a freaking basket of strawberries. She waited at the pub opposite my stand and had a drink outside while staring me down for an awkward half an hour or so until her poor husband returned with the strawberries.

Alright, I don't know how much gas costs for driving 30 minutes, but I'm pretty confident that it's more than 50 cents. So she wasted her money, wasted her time, as well as her husband's time, and also spent the extra money that it cost to buy the drink at that pub. All to what? Spite OP, who genuinely didn't care at all? Honestly, I think that OP got more enjoyment from her trying to spite OP and making herself miserable than just walking away.

That was our slash choosing beggars, and if you like this content, you can sponsor my podcast to unlock extra episodes. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.