rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars "Seeking FREE Apartment. Also I'm Very Stinky"

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

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Welcome to our slash-choosing beggars, where someone's looking for free rent for an extra, extra smelly roommate. My girlfriend would have such an easier time mentally, she's a warrior if I had a place to stay, so here I am officially asking if anyone in Virginia beat once a roommate. I've been the life of the party and living outside for years now. Please only free or near free offers, I know what I've got here. My last situation fell through because one of my friends got envious of my huge dong and lied about me. Plus, I've given everything to live with others every time. And I'm always left with nothing. I'm super hygienic and I'll help you stop being lazy. And of course, as always, I have a lot of s**t.

So you'll have to deal with that smell. Let me know sometime before winter, or I'll get real crazy on ya. Hard emoji, sunglasses smiling emoji. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Look, man, I can't offer you rent, but what I can offer is making the entire apartment smell like my balls. Eh? Eh? What do you say? Who doesn't like the smell of ball sweats? Also...

Ha ha ha ha ha. This post gets worse than what you think about it. This guy's basically was saying, what was he saying? He was saying, I really care about my girlfriend. So what I want to do to help my girlfriend is to not live her to live with someone else and have sex with lots of random people. That will make my girlfriend stop worrying about me. Yo, what? Okay, down in the comments, had a heart says,

I went down the rabbit hole of this guy's Facebook page earlier today and man, it was a wild ride. It turns out he was booted from the last place that he stayed because he never paid anything. Weed was missing, he was filthy, and he did unspeakable things on the quote, good couch. And this was his response to someone commenting about his smell. Even if I just got out of scrubbing in the shower, a large person of people would find me pungent because of hormone tracers in my blood, which has to do with the way that I eat, the amount that I exercise, the circadian cycle, and also the waking cycle at which I interact with society.

Some people are set up physiologically to be pitted against people like me evolutionarily. What did I even read? This guy's like, no, no, no, that's not ball sweat that you smell. That's blood tracers in my DNA that just makes me stink naturally even after I freshly showered. It's a blessing and a curse. Our next Reddit post is from deleted. I started working with kids when I was 11 years old in many different capacities. Daycare centers, preschool classrooms, pre-K classrooms, Sunday school classrooms, and

a home daycare. When I was 17 years old, a mom of an absolute brat of a six-year-old asked me if I would babysitter for a few days. I said no because summer had just hit and I was dying to go to sea world. Also, because I just didn't want to watch her little brats. Apparently, there was more going on than what the mom said because the kid's dad, who was serving overseas in the military, called my dad,

and they talked man to man. He said that his wife was at the end of her rope with their out of control daughter and they wanted to put her up for adoption. He said that this was his baby girl and he didn't want to lose her, so he wanted to know if we could keep her for the summer and he would pay us when he got home at the beginning of September. My dad, without even asking me, said yes. Unfortunately,

that meant that I was stuck with this kid all summer. All of a sudden, her mother, who showed no interest in her kid, had a laundry list of demands. Take my child to sea world with you, take my child to the zoo with you, take my child to see Disney on ice, take my child to the water park, take my child to the mall to buy a summer wardrobe. Her mom had only sent her over to me with a pair of short overalls, a t-shirt, and flipplops for the entire summer. Her list went on and on.

I would have said no to these people, but my dad got me into this, and I was now stuck for the entire summer. The child's father told my dad that he would reimburse me for all the expenses and a sea roll pass, since I spent most of my summer there. I did my best to give this kid a good summer, with her kicking and screaming every minute along the way. I took her everywhere to the Water Park, the mall, the Children's Museum, my dad bought her a complete summer wardrobe and then a back-to-school wardrobe because she literally had no clothes at our house. We even had her behaving by the end of the summer,

which was huge for this particular kid. I remember the turning point for her was, one night, I went and told my dad that I had been trying to get her to help clean up for half an hour and she was refusing. It was just a large bin of colored pencils that she had dumped out. I reluctantly cleaned them up alone because she wouldn't help and I wanted to get to bed. I got them all picked up and she screamed that she wasn't going to bed and threw the bin against the wall and the colored pencils dumped everywhere.

So my dad walks over to her and she's wearing her short overalls and she just picks her up by the back of her overalls and sets her down in the time out chair. That scared the stuffing out of her and she behaved for the rest of the summer. Summer ended and her dad came back from overseas. He came to pick her up and he was impressed by how well behaved she was because this kid was literally a monster to everyone before that summer. He then tells my dad how his wife cheated on him and was pregnant with another man's child, and that he can't afford to pay us for watching her. We didn't get a single cent for watching her the entire summer. I was pissed because I turned down many legitimate jobs because of that kid.

The dad acted like it was no big deal and thanked us for saving his angel from a foster home. I don't know, that sounds fishy. What does the wife cheating have to do with him not having any money? It doesn't, he just didn't want to pay. I kind of had sympathy for the guy at first because I was thinking, you know, he's overseas fighting in a war or something. And his wife is meanwhile not raising the kid and threatening to give it off to like foster care or something. But come on, man, pay your workers. Our next reddit post is from user. I donated a bicycle to a well-known charity. I did it anonymously, but it had a sticker for my business on the bottom of it. I got an angry call saying that I sold them the wrong-sized bike. I was shocked because it

would be bad customer service to sell someone the wrong size bike. I asked them for a description of the bicycle and based on their description I couldn't remember selling one like that. I asked them to read off a number from the receipt so I could look it up and the lady told me that she can't find the receipt anymore. Suddenly it clicked. I asked her, did you buy the bicycle, or did you get it for free as a donation? Oh yeah, I got it from a charity program. Can I return it for money? No, you can bring a back here and all exchange it for a larger bicycle for your kid. I'd rather return it for the money. Well, you could sell it on your own or donate it to someone that it would fit. That's ridiculous! And she hung up on me.

Selling IKEA sofa. Hi, is this still available? Hi, yes it is. What are the dark spots on the couch? As you can see in the description, these are small spots where my cats scratch the threading. It's very minor, but it pulled out some black threads. Hmm, interesting with the black threads. Instead of selling it, do you want me to help get rid of it for you?

Yeah, that'd be great. I prefer the $80 in cash, and then you can get rid of it for me. That's not what I meant. If you're willing to give it to me for no cost, I could come and move it for you. I'm sorry, but I believe that would be theft. It costs 90 bucks to steal the couch. Ha, ha, ha. All right. I'm sorry, but I believe that would be theft. It costs 90 bucks to steal the couch. Alright.

Down in the comments, Tweetie Wolf says, I also jacked my price up when people started asking if they can get something for nothing. And then lemons and lemons says, So do I. I trade antiques and oddities, and occasionally I get some sneaky moron, who I'm not kidding, writes me that they feel that objects such and such is haunted, so they're willing to take the danger off my hands.

I then usually respond by doubling the price because apparently it comes with an extra ghost now. Posted a Facebook. Hi everyone, I'm new to the area. I'm looking for a sofa, two double bits with good mattresses, war droves that must be no smaller than 42 inches because I went one on the wall. I'm also looking for 90 inch drop curtains, probably best in a neutral color. I need a washing machine, dryer, pots, pans, towels, etc. All of this must be free and on universal credits. Also, you'll need to bring a van, but I'll pay you $10 for the van.

Cheers! Posted a Facebook. Karen does not recommend Wendy's. Reason given. Not child-friendly. Today, Wendy's had their free breakfast item. Their own rules say when, per customer. My husband took our children there for breakfast. They refused

to give him more than two free sandwiches, even though there were seven of them and they were all present. They'd been looking forward to a Wendy's breakfast sandwich for days. It's super discouraging that they're discriminating towards large families. Don't advertise free things if you're refused to give them out. Down in the comments, we have this story from many momikans. I worked at a C.C.'s pizza growing up. We offered two different free promos. Children under three were free per paying adult. If a family had twins and another child under three, we would usually just give them the free buffet anyway. But a lot of people

tried to abuse a system, including a daycare that tried to show up with approximately 12 kids and 2 adults. They were stunned when I charged them for 10 kids meals, and then they asked for my manager, who promptly told them that it was a free under 3 meal per paying adults. They were pissed and left. The owners also offered a free meal to policemen, firemen, and EMTs who were in uniform. I can't tell you the number of times they would come in off duty in the evening with their whole family and expect the whole family to be free. I'll be in London soon.

I posted a few days ago inquiring about someone hosting me for the week. I'm leaving tomorrow for London, and I need someone to offer me a spare room in their home ASAP. Homecooked breakfast and dinner included, and you must have a car and be able to drive me a spare room in their home ASAP. Homecooked breakfast and dinner included, and you must have a car and be able to drive me around the city. I'm able to pay 50 pounds for the week. Please message me with details. This was posted to Reddit and down in the comments people say, looks like you might be sleeping on the streets bro. Are you on crack? And then OP replies, someone messaged me earlier saying

they have a place in Windsor. I thought that I made this clear. Central London only and only serious replies. Alright, I don't know too much about housing prices in London, but if I had to guess, you probably couldn't even get a cardboard box in London for 50 bucks. This next post comes from someone's tender profile. Profession Artist About Me I'm just looking for a man here that's between 1.8 meters and 1.87 meters tall. For all my American viewers out there, 1.8 meters is 5'9", so I'm guessing 5'9-6 feet thereabouts. Who has a great physique, has nice straight white teeth, good hair is vegan, has a bachelor and

master's degree, is kind, humble, easygoing, assertive, chivalrous, romantic, down to earth, straightforward, can tell great stories, is outgoing, and also love solitude. Has an entrepreneurial mindset, is decisive, empathic, and cool-headed is a single heterosexual and loves intimacy and great passionate hugging. Doesn't have any allergies or kids. Damn, you can't even have allergies nowadays to date. Imagine being a hot, tall, rich, single, sexy, romantic man. But then swiping on this woman because you can't eat peanut butter. Posted a Facebook.

I want to be upfront with everyone. I just had two employees quit today without explanation. So if you know anyone looking for work, let me know and please be patient with us here at BlankSanWitchCompany as we roll with the punches of this last minute development. If anyone can volunteer until I can find new staff, I would be eternally grateful and even give you a sandwich. Alright, I think I'm starting to get a sense of why those two employees quit without explanation. Maybe it's because you try to pay people in sandwiches instead of money.

That was our slash-choosing beggars, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. money. That was our slash choosing beggars and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.