rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars Seeking Full-Time S*x Slave, Very Low Pay

Episode Date: August 3, 2021

r/Choosingbeggars Are you looking for a job? Well I've got an exciting job opportunity for you! You can become a full-time live in s** slave for a barely livable wage! This choosing beggar wants a hot and submissive girl who will do secretary work, clean his house, and perform plenty of "other duties" if you know what I mean. What are you waiting for? Apply today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash Choosing Beggars, where you have an amazing opportunity to apply for a sex slave position. Free rent in exchange for caregiving. Private furnished bedroom, private bathroom, and wifi. No drinking, drugs, smoking, vaping. No odors in the home. Limited kitchen privileges. No couples, children, guests, or pets.

I'm looking for somebody that's kind of a homebody, quiet, clean, respectful. I prefer a woman. Must have COVID vaccination and proof of it. I need help caring for my pets, yard, some housekeeping, help me with nightly bedtime preparations, and help me get ready on Saturday mornings for the rest of the day. You get to take a break as my primary caregiver during holidays. You pay half utilities and a $500 deposit. What? This is just buying an apartment with extra chores. Also, how much do you want a bet that his idea of nightly bedtime preparation rituals involves giving him a BJ?

Down in the comments, we have this story from Rasek. Back in my early 20s, I was looking for a place to rent for my daughter and I. A friend suggested a disabled guy who had a spare room in his apartment. The guy was in a wheelchair and lived alone. I moved in and paid my rent, but I was only there a few days a week because of work. One Monday, I come home from being out working all weekend, and I find my stuff in the garbage minus any items of real value. Apparently this guy had expected me to pay rent and take care of him.

I was supposed to entertain him because he was lonely and I was supposed to basically never leave. I was supposed to drive him around and make him food. All while paying rent, I ended up having to call the cops, who apparently knew the guy was a total butthole, and they forced him to let me come inside and get what he had thrown away and was hiding in his room. Like my leather jacket, my TV, and some of my daughter's more expensive toys, he tried to claim that all of my stuff was his, so the cops asked him to put the jacket on and prove it.

I was tiny, and he was not. Job posting for a warehouse manager. Salary, 15 to 16 bucks an hour, full time. You also get paid time off. Preferred experience, one year of customer service, and one year of warehouse experience. Full job description, and this is where things are getting really crazy. If you suck as a human being, please don't apply. You people know who you are. If you smoke, vape, or do drugs, do not apply. If your spouse can't trust you, do not apply. If you're a liar, do not apply. If you're an ex-criminal or current criminal, do not apply. If you've had your driver's license revoked, do not apply. He must have a clean driving record for this job.

If you're comfort and tattoos, do not apply. If you've had 11 jobs in 10 years, we do not want you! If you're morbidly obese, you won't be able to handle this job. We're looking for an honest trust worthy applicant to good pay attention to detail. If you don't currently have a job, there's a good reason and we don't want you. We want to steal a great employee from another company, not hire a candidate that no one else wants. This job is shipping, shipping, shipping. We do shipping and we need someone who can ship the right thing to the right place. It's amazing how many people can't accomplish this simple task. If you think you can do this job and show up every day, you'll likely get pay raises

and promotions quickly. This is not a joke, Ed. We're looking for a serious candidate. We look forward to hearing from you! COVID-19 Considerations COVID-19 is political fraud. It's a virus that spreads the same way the flu virus spreads, which means that everyone will eventually get it. And the overwhelming majority will survive just fine. Mask wearing solves nothing, so don't show up in one.

I like how they said that this is not a joke ad. So someone wrote this in just an absolute stroking-ducing, vein-popping rage. Didn't they read it all and was like, oh man, I'm so angry and this sounds so crazy that they might think that I'm joking. But I am NOT joking! Yeah, looks good. Let's hit submit. Also, we've all been yelled at by our boss before, but imagine getting yelled at by your boss before you even get hired at the company. And why do they care about someone having full tattoos? It's a warehouse job. It's not like you're a secretary for a law firm or working customer service, you're in a warehouse.

So who cares what you look like? On this next post, OP applies for a social media marketing job at a company and he gets this email back. Dear Luke, we're interested in developing a social media strategy and your proposition sounds very inviting. Please tell me more about your services so I can share this information with the rest of the team, regards Karen. Thank you for your reply, my services include, and then OP goes over a list of the services. regards Luke To hear it Luke, I've discussed this proposition with my team, and we've decided to move forward

with your proposal. You can begin work with us on a trial basis on Monday. Requires, caring. That's great to hear, however. Can you specify what you mean by trial basis? You'll work on a trial basis. This means that you'll advise us with our social media strategy and create content for us.

If we're satisfied with your work and the result, we'll deem your work complete and pay you accordingly. Please don't be disheartened by this, we're confident that you'll do a great job. Regardless, Karen. Apologies if I don't understand you, but does that mean that I won't get paid if you decide that you don't feel like it? I work by the hour, and I expect to get paid in full based on my working hours at the end of the project. Dear Luke, it's our company policy to only pay contractors if we're satisfied with their services.

This is done to avoid con men and scam artists. We hope that you can understand this. We're very excited to begin working with you. We're willing to look past your 50 euros in houros-an-hour fee in exchange for this working arrangement. Ricards, Karen. I'm sorry, but I'll need to get a written agreement that you will pay me at the end of my work. Otherwise, I will not provide my services to your company. Dear Luke, we found your attitude to this proposition unamendable to our business

standards. We have a strong policy against dealing with shyisters, and for this reason, we will not proceed ahead with this work, nor we recommend you to our associates. Regards, cannerin! Man, I hate it when companies are like, oh well, it's our policy to do business this way. Dude, policy is just your rule. You guys came up with it, so you can change it. Sorry, but it's our policy not to pay our employees nothing we can do about that. Yeah, there is.

Change your policy. Funny coincidence because it's my policy not to work for free. Alright, so for this next post it's important to point out that this is on a dating website. Tags, art, grab a drink, photography, astrology, spirituality, seeking personal assistant for my work at my home business in blank. You must be attractive, fun, outgoing, and know how to receive dick. Tation. Wink.

You must be submissive, sweet, and daring, ready to make a lot happen at work. Message me for details, rent included. So you get to be this guy's sex slave and his actual work slave for the low, low price of rent. Hey, Blank told me that you can help me with my music video. Hey, maybe I can. What type of video are you thinking of? I went a video with lots of pink lights with my boyfriend and me in an abandoned building. It's a rap music video.

Are you there? Hey, sorry, I was working. Okay, that's possible, but what's the budget you have for this? 200 pounds. 200 pounds for the whole music video? Yes. Okay, but are you gonna need actors or extras? I don't think you can even cover the equipment with that.

I've got friends helping. Like you can use your camera and the music is playing on the phone. Okay then, I guess it's possible. What'll be my pay though? 10 pounds plus you can use a music video for your portfolio and stuff. If we like your video, you can make others for as too. 10 pounds an hour or 10 pounds for travel and food. Ten pounds for the whole day.

It's just a day filming, so it's easy. Didn't you have a budget of 200 pounds? I find this kind of thing insulting. Yeah, but it's to rent the car. Alright then, I apologize, but I'll have to refuse this incredible opportunity. Blank told me you would do it, you f-word! Whatever, we'll find a better person. All for them a Tesco meal deal, lol, they might enjoy it more.

Whatever, f-you! On this next post, OP gives an award to another redditor. I love it! You just made my day! If it really made you laugh, then you could have given it a platinum or at least a gold, like, bruh, you have 100,000 karma, but I did give you an award. I don't care if it doesn't give me premium. You have 100,000 karma and premium. Why not share it with someone instead of keeping it all for yourself?

Hello? Be word. You know, it's kind of funny because a lot of people on Reddit really care about karma, and I'm a YouTuber who does Reddit content, so you think that I'd really care about karma, but I just don't. I'm not exaggerating when I say that my Reddit account has 13 karma. Personally, I would much rather have a YouTube like. Reddit karma is just like a bragging point, but at least YouTube likes help you out in the

algorithm, which helps my channel grow. Classified Add We are looking for someone to watch our 9 year old son. Must have your own vehicle. Must be reliable. Must take COVID-19 seriously. You must be active and take him adventuring sometimes. He's a very active boy.

Swimming, biking, hiking, going to parks, et cetera. If you're watching him in our home, we have a cat just in case you're allergic. He's very self-sufficient, so I don't wanna pay much more than $4 an hour. That's what I've paid in the past, and I currently pay 20 bucks a day until 5 p.m. Then every hour after five is another 5 bucks an hour

and it would be amazing to keep it that way. Yo, what are these hours? Seven to six, that's 11 hours. Holy s***, I gotta do the math on this. That's 11 hours. Eight to five is plus, what's nine, right? Seven to six is 11 hours. Eight to five or eight to six is nine to 10.

So let's just say plus 9.5. We're already at 40 hours a week. Okay, eight to four is, I think just eight hours, right? Plus eight equals 48 and a half hours per week. Okay, okay, so 48 hours a week for about a hundred dollars a week in pay. So, so 45 hours per week for a full-time nanny for just over a hundred dollars pay. And let's not forget that you have to have your own car, so that means gas, it means depreciation, your vehicle, just driving this kid everywhere.

Actually, and now that I think about it, how on earth do they expect someone who would actually need a hundred dollars a week to live? Wait, hold on. Who are these people that are honestly looking for a hundred dollar a week jobs, but also own a vehicle? Good luck finding a babysitter lady,

you're really gonna need it. This. Ha ha ha ha. This next post is a conversation between a subscriber on only fans and a person who has an only fans account. Hi Chris, out of curiosity, why do you have a moon tattoo on your thigh? I sub to your only fans and the tattoo was distracting me

when you were topping that older gentleman. Oh, it's a moon with the Cancer Zodiac because my moon is in cancer. Would it be possible to cover it in the future? What do you mean? I don't mean to be offensive, but if I'm trying to watch you passionately hug, I don't want to be reminded that you're into astrology or witchy things. What? Well, dear, I am a witch. So unless you're tipping me enough to actually pay for the German blend and be additionally compensated for the trouble, then no.

I'll be unsubscribing. Thanks, Chris. No problem. Wow, it shows how much you really care, huh? You want me to pay you to not be reminded that you like astrology? You're sick. Turn to God. What? Turn to God? Dude, you're on this person's only fans probably paying them money so you can look at their

butthole or whatever. And you want them to turn to God? Dear Jesus, I paid money to this person online so I can look at pictures of their butthole, but I'm reminded of other religions while I do it. It's really disrupting my wanking sessions. So Jesus, can you please make them see the light so that I can see their butthole? What? It's like that Wendy's meme. Sir, this isn't only fans.

Yo man, what's good? Your tats are fire, but you could really use more followers. I'm an up-and-coming influencer in model, and I would be willing to collab and shout you out on my Instagram to get you tons of exposure in exchange for some ink. I won two arm sleeves, but we can discuss that later. Let me know. Lol, okay. Exposure doesn't pay the bills, my guy. I tattoo plenty of people with more reach and influence than you, and they don't ask me

for free stuff. Also, you've got less than one-fifth of the followers that I do. How about you do some free stuff for me in exchange for exposure? Let me know. Also, I don't have any tattoos, so I don't really know for sure. But aren't entire arm sleeves like literal thousands of dollars? Yeah, I just looked it up and a full sleep tattoo cost between $2000 and $4000. So that's between $4000 to $8000 for two arm sleeves.

That was our slash-choosing beggars, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.