rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY NUTS 🥜

Episode Date: July 1, 2021

r/Choosingbeggars In today's episode, we venture into the crazy world of garden thieves. Apparently, its extremely common for people to sneak onto someone's property and steal all of their fruits, vegetables, and nuts. In one story, OP catches a group of organized thieves in a major nut theft operation, including heavy machinery and deadly weapons. OP catches the thieves red-handed and holds them at gunpoint until the cops show up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is our slash choosing beggars where, apparently, everyone wants to steal your nuts. Hey, hey, Gurly! Blank said that you and Blank were going to be house-sitting an animal watching. First of all, thank you. I just wanted to let you know that we had a few rules and requests. One, please be here at 6.30am sharp for the first feeding. 12pm sharp for lunch and 5.30pm sharp for dinner. 2.

Please clean up around the food and water areas after each feeding. Make sure you stay until they finish eating. The cat can sometimes take a while, so be mindful of that. 3. 15 minutes after feeding concludes, please take the dogs out individually for personal playtime. For, during playtime, if they defecate, please pick up the remains. We're trying to keep the backyard clean. 5. Each of the pups will need an individual walking each evening. 6. Please message me or blink at the conclusion of each trip and let us know if anything went wrong.

Thanks again. We wish that we could compensate you, but we went all out on this Caribbean trip and we're on a tight budget right now. Down in the comments, OP clarifies that she ended up backing out of this offer. So they ended up having to just fork over money to board their pets. Whoops, maybe you should have just paid OP. On this next post and artist post this to Twitter, don't do this to artists y'all. Notice how they suddenly disliked my art after they found out how much it costs. Then OP post screenshots of their conversation.

Hi, I would like to buy some art of my persona from you. I want them to be in a forest with autumn leaves, with the whole character showing with a nice pose. I can give you $15. Hello, I do offer that kind of work, but not for that price. My prices are listed on my price sheet my most recent post. Are you serious? Okay, how much?

For a fully detailed full body image with a background, that would be $40. I can give you $20. I don't haggle with my art pricing, these are set prices. But your art isn't even worth that much. I wouldn't pay 40 bucks for one picture, so do you want to make money or not? I can take my money elsewhere. You can if you'd like. I think that my art is worth that much, and the artist decide their own pricing. Have a good day and thanks for your interest. You're just a B word, and you can't understand when people are struggling. Plus, it's my birthday next week and you can't even give me a discount.

I don't appreciate you calling me names so I'll be blocking you. I don't do discounts for birthdays, especially for strangers who curse at me. No way! Oh, okay, so just in general, I try not to tell people what they do and they don't need. But if you're really struggling with money, then getting a drawing of your first sono should be pretty low in your priority list. On this next post, a gardener made a post on a local Facebook group. Potatoes or blackberries, anyone? My crops have just come in, which was a nice surprise since I just moved here. I've been putting lots of work into these fruits and vegetables. Tending to the beds, using non-toxic repellents,

even saying to them at night. Then all of a sudden, boom, fresh fruits and veggies. I'm a little hesitant to say pick whatever you want, because a woman tried to back her truck up to my house and pull out my entire blackberry bushes. So I don't know, give me maybe like $5 and you can fill up a tin. I just really don't want to have someone try to steal my entire Blackberry bushes. So I don't know, give me maybe like five dollars and you can fill up a tin. I just really don't want to have someone try to steal my entire bushes. The woman said, free is free and she called the cops on me. Thankfully the cops handled it beautifully. But she made a whole scene in front of my kids who had been so excited to help people pick right Blackberries. So thanks Heather for trying to steal someone's entire garden because you got offered a few

berries. This logic is so stupid. Okay so go ahead you can get anything for my yard for free. Ha! I got you! Your house is in your yard so I'll take your house for free, thank you. And if you've got a problem with it, I'm calling the cops. Like does this lady think this logic actually works?

Also down in the comments, we have this story from Disco Stew. Something similar happened to my grandparents. They have a giant blueberry patch on their farm and they told a few locals they could come pick what they'd like. The next day, a horde of Amish people showed up, picked every single bush completely clean. As in, legit, they didn't leave a single berry, and there were hundreds of thousands of them. Then, the next week, they sold off all the berries for a profit, infuriating.

Okay, so apparently this type of thing is fairly common, because we have this story from Miami-Aniac. That happened to my parents as well. They had lots of different fruits and told my neighbor to pick a bowl full of cherries because there was no way that we could eat it all. A day later, a different neighbor showed up and they picked everything, everything. All the strawberries, blackberries, plums, cherries, even the apples that weren't finished growing yet. They took everything and then they had the nerve to show up to our door, selling us the jam that they made from it.

They didn't even offer a free bottle or an apology. They just wanted to sell us what they stole. Disgusting. And here's yet another story from Mocket fog. When I was a kid in Texas, there was a lot of pecan trees in the suburbs around my city, and a few different companies would buy locally harvested pecans by the pound. We had five giant pecan trees in our front and back yard, and picking up the nuts every day after school was my daily chore.

I would fill up five or six burlaps sacks during the week, and we would take them to sell every weekend. That's how we paid for Christmas presents every year. At least once a week during Peacons season every year, I would come home from school before my parents got home from work. And there would be this absolute Karen in our front yard with her car backed up onto our lawn, with her trunk full of our Peacons.

She would then proceed to cuss me out and threaten me if I told her to stop. I was nine at the time. At first, my parents didn't believe me until I went out and took pictures of her with a disposable camera. When we got the pictures developed, I was finally able to show my parents that there really was a crazy lady stealing our pecans and threatening me.

So my mom stayed home for a few days until the lady showed up again and then called the cops on her. She ended up getting a trespassing and misdemeanor theft charge. The next year she started showing up again and my mom called the cops again. And the craziest story of all comes from gasp and omib. My grandparents had a small almond grove on their property. Not an orchard per se, just 10 almond trees. Those trees made them a modest amount of money due to the nuts and also the almond blossom honey from the bees they kept. Plus the trees had beautiful flowers.

One year someone broke down two of our fences and came onto our property with commercial nut harvesting equipment. We came back from church and saw these huge tire tracks had ruined our backyard. We looked at the trees and all the nuts were gone. One of our trees had even been knocked over. No one had any idea how they could have done it. The next year my grandfather was ready for them. As soon as it was harvesting time, he refused to leave the house. When a dude came out to scout the trees, my grandpa held him at gunpoint

until the cops got there. That same year, a gang of folks were all arrested for a major nut theft operation, and the dude my grandfather stood down with a shotgun was one of them. As an amusing addition to this story, my grandfather went to the police auction of the nut thieves' equipment. He paid something like $500 for a $15,000 nut harvesting vehicle. So at least he kind of sorta got some of the money back that he lost that year. I know this sounds crazy, but actually major nut theft operations are super common. I mean, just think about it guys. Every time we do the nasty with a girl, she's staging a major nut theft operation. Will you take $80?

Sorry, this item is essentially new. It was opened but never used and retail is going for $250. So $125 is already a great deal. My price is firm and people's interest so 125 dollars is already a great deal. My price is firm, and people's interest in this item is already high. All I have is 50 dollars. Can't you please cut me a break? I'm a single mother of three kids. Well you're definitely not a mathematician.

F you prick! Lady, if all you have is 50 bucks then why did you open offering $80? Honestly I think that it was probably all ploy. The second OP agreed to 80 bucks she probably would have pulled the whole oh but I'm a single mom give me a discount or whatever. Or even more likely she would have showed up to the agreed upon meetings spot and then just pretended to have only brought 50 dollars. Kind of like this story from changing 813 down in the comments. That's what happened to me. I was selling a game system and we agreed on $50. We go to the meat application. She wanted to check to make sure the game system worked and it did. Then she handed

me $40 and asked if I would go lower. I said no, we agreed on $50. She made this big show of finding $10 more scrounged up from various places in her purse. Like, she thought that I would be annoyed and just say whatever. Nope, I just stood there waiting while she searched. On this next post, Karen went to pick up a free Thanksgiving dinner. Review, one star. What a disappointing disaster! We arrived two hours early and we were only the fourth car online for the free turkey and fixings this year. We didn't get a pie, we didn't receive any bread, and we didn't get anything for a salad like your photos in the local paper showed. It was depressing beyond belief. We get it, you're just volunteers. But come on! A small

turkey with an odd odor, no dessert of any kind, and absolutely nothing from the free copy and breakfast tables? You ruined our Thanksgiving, again! I love the again at the end of the sentence. That means at least twice now this lady has gotten a completely free Thanksgiving meal, and she's upset because she didn't get like a giant beast. This next pose is from R-slash Am I the butthole, but it still fits in R-slash choosing beggars. Am I the butthole for not giving my neighbor a son graduation money and baking

12 dozen cookies instead? 12 dozen cookies, cheesed. That's 144 cookies. Long story short, the day before yesterday, my neighbor called me asking me to bake 12 dozen cookies for their son's graduation celebration, which at the time of the call was in about 20 hours. She said the cake they ordered had somehow become lost in the order system and it wouldn't be ready in time. That their son loves my chocolate chip cookies and it would mean the world to him and save their party. I agree to help out. I went to the store and quickly bought all of the ingredients, which for that amount of cookies came close to $300. I managed to get them all baked, arranged on trays, and set up at the party without any issue. Then, at the end of the party, the mom walks up to me and thanks me for helping

out. Then she asked me if I forgot to include a check in the graduation card. I calmly told her that the last minute baking marathon was my gift gift and I said that I was glad that it all worked out The mom said she appreciated my hard work, but that her son couldn't buy books for college with cookies And that she thought that I should at least give him some cash before I left I left without doing so and now the mom has texted me asking me to apologize to her son Am I the butthole? OP, you are clearly not the butthole here. Basically this Karen forgot to order a cake and then guilt tripped you to make $300 worth a cookie so she didn't have to spend any money.

And then she has the audacity to ask you for more money? No OP. You get 0 out of 5 buttholes, she gets 2 out of 5 buttholes. Honestly OP, you should send her a bill for the cookies. Review two stars. First off everything and everyone in this tattoo shop was nice and clean. This isn't a review about the tattoo shop safety or anything. This is a review about the climate and atmosphere of the tattoo shop. New age gentrification. We're in New York City and this is a tattoo shop in the heart of New York City. But you walk inside and you see all these friendly smiling faces and you're warmly welcome

by a receptionist. You think that you were in, ugh, San Francisco. Nobody speaks with any form of New York accent. No Brooklyn accents, no Staten Island accent, no North Queens accents, not even a long island accent. No people of color, either. Nobody, for the entire five hours that I was there, said a single foul word. It was honestly like I stepped into a wormhole straight out of New York City into my deepest, darkest nightmare.

A few times during my tattoo, a couple of other artists came by to take a look at my new piece. They'd say things like, wow, very nice or awesome. Not a single person said, badass! After I got my tattoo, it was time to pay. She tells me the subtotal and then the total attacks. Now, this is not my first tattoo. I've gotten tattoos in New York City and other states and even in other countries. I always pay cash. I've never, ever, not even once been told that there was tax. Now, I don't know the laws on tattoos or if they're a taxable commodity and frankly, I don't care. It is not tattoo culture to charge or pay tax in addition to the quoted price under any circumstance. So unless Jesus himself starts working in this tattoo shop, I am never going back to that

shop. Nor do I suggest anyone else does unless they really hate everything about New York City and tattooing. And then the tattoo shop responds, thank you for your short yet kind preface. We will not apologize for treating you kindly. And because your experience here didn't live up to your expectations of an era of tattooing in the city that, based on the nature of your complaints and profile picture, you are likely not a product of.

As a New York native born in Ozone Park, my first order of advice would be, know your place. You got tattooed in a shop in Soho, where customer service has held to be just as important as the artwork itself. If you want to get treated like a stun-odd and kicked in your fraggio on the way out, then there's plenty of other shops that can accommodate, but not here, forget about it. If you're looking for a real New York City experience, express your complaints in person. Not on a platform that points towards you being of the very same new age demographic that you seem so adamantly uncomfortable with.

And as far as the 4.5% New York City Service Tax, what can I say? This has nothing to do with tattoo culture. The Tax Man always gets his cut. I would suggest visiting our Massive Equal Location. Not only is it closer to your location in Belmore Long Island, but since it's outside of the boroughs, there's no New York City service tax. Plus, you'd be guaranteed to speak with AJ, and hear the accent that you're so hot for. Anything else we can help with, please feel free to stop by or give us a call.

Be well, thanks. Alright, so this guy wants an authentic New York City experience where everyone's always up in your face. But then when he doesn't get it, he's like, oh, I'm gonna go on my own and leave you a bad review. Like, are we honestly supposed to believe that he would have given a better review if people were like more vulgar and meaner and more confrontational? Be honest with yourself, dude. If you get offended by accents and sales tags, then you couldn't handle the full New York experience. That was our slash-choosing beggars. And if you like this content,

be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.