rSlash - r/Choosingbeggars Will You Be My Mommy? Seeking Free House & Breastfeeding!
Episode Date: November 28, 2021r/Choosingbeggars Ladies, have I got the perfect opportunity for you! This choosing beggar is looking for a free place to live. You'll have to feed them, clothe them, and basically provide for all of ...their needs -- completely for free! Oh, and one important thing: you'll also need to breastfeed this person and just in general act like you're their mommy. You'll have to do all of this for free! What an absolute deal! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to our slash Choosing Beggars, where someone is looking for a free mommy-dum who will feed them,
clothe them, and who has giant mommy-milkers. Hey man, I saw you do workout and eating plans.
Think you can hook me up with one? Sure thing, I've got some free spots right now. I can do one for
you within three to four days of that suit you. So, are you looking for a combined workout slash
meal plan? Yeah, a combined one would be good for me. I'm just trying to gain some muscle
and be less skinny. I've got basically zero hours in the gym and I kind of just want to get started.
I can definitely help you out with that. I'll be sure to create a comprehensive plan which
provides you with the steps you need to get started. All right, let's do this. Sure, I just need
some details from you to get started like your height, weight, previous workout, experience, etc. Yeah, sure, no problem.
I'm 170 pounds, 5 foot, 7.
I've played some basketball back in high school, but I dropped it after a few months.
I go running a few times every month, nothing too major.
What do you take payments on, by the way?
Is it PayPal?
How much is this going to cost me?
PayPal works best for me.
I take a 25-year-old deposit before I begin work on the plan, and 25-year-old after the plan is delivered. Is that all right with you?
No, actually. I'm not willing to put down money for something that I don't have yet. Matter of fact, for something like that, it might not even work.
Tell you what, I'll give you 25-year-olds when I get it and 25-year-olds if it works for me.
I'm sorry, but that's not how I operate. If for any reason I'm
unable to complete your plan, your deposit will be refunded. That shows how little you care about my
success. If you had faith in this plan, you wouldn't have any problem accepting my payment method.
Ultimately, the plan is dependent on how willing you are to commit to it. I want to be paid for my time and effort, not yours. Excuse me? Are you really coming on my line disrespecting my commitments? I've never had
a professional talk to me this way before. You'd want to wiseen up your tone before you come
around talking down to me like that. I'm not doubting your commitment, I would just prefer to have
a down payment before I start my work. and a guarantee to be paid once I complete it
You can't change what's already been said mark my words none of my friends colleagues our family members will ever
Purchase a plan from you. That's a promise on top of that your Yelp reviews are as good as our IP
All right, I like how the guy opens a conversation by saying,
I'm 170 pounds, I'm super weak, and I have no muscle.
I'm such a loser.
And then, by the end of the post,
he's actually like Mr. Tough Guy.
You better watch your tone, Mr.
or you're gonna regret it.
Hmm.
Like for real, who's gonna be intimidated
by an out-of-shape quitter?
Hi, so my daughter commissioned you last week for a drawing, and I wanted to discuss
the details of the purchase.
Oh, what commission are you referring to?
I did quite a few, so if you could give me some context to which one?
I don't remember what it was, but she paid $20 for my credit card for it for her stupid
character.
My apologies, but I didn't do a commission for 20 bucks.
I did a few, but none at exactly 20 bucks.
Could you give me more specifics?
Yes you did.
It was some wolf drawing you did for her through Ko-fi.
I'm sorry, you're mistaken.
My Ko-fi is closed at the moment, so if you could show me the picture, I'd be happy to
confirm it's my work.
I can't find it, but it was gray.
Also, what's this on your page?
And then the Choosing Beggar sends OP this drawing of like,
just as Guy in a suit, who's like drinking wine,
and he has little like cartoon bat wings, I guess?
I don't know.
It looks pretty harmless and fun and cute, kind of cartoony.
Also, the character's drinking a glass of wine.
You promote demons and alcohol on your page.
My daughter should have never commissioned you. drinking a glass of wine. You promote demons and alcohol on your page.
My daughter should have never commissioned you.
What are you doing drawing such demonic things?
Give me your mother's phone number.
My apologies, but no, I'm not a minor, and my mom is not in charge of what I draw.
I apologize if your daughter spent your money on my artwork, but until you produce evidence
that you indeed did commission me, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave me alone. Then the Choosing Beggar sends OP a couple of her other drawings of
I guess demonic characters, but they're so cartoony and cute, it's not really demonic, it's just
cute. People like you are the reason why demonic imagery is allowed in media today. Where can I
leave a review on your artwork to warn others about what you post?
I went my refund or I'm unleashing my followers on to you. You need to repent.
I like how she asked OP to help her destroy her career. I'm going to absolutely destroy you.
As soon as you tell me where I can do that please. And this line, I will at least add my followers on you.
It's like unleash the crackin' but unleash my seven followers!
On this next post, OP posts, I got my first art commission.
I feel so lucky.
And then someone messages them,
What are you gonna buy me?
Ha ha, I'll buy some more painting stuff probably.
Oh, well then, what are you gonna paint for me?
Lowell depends, what are you gonna pay me?
I'm just a poor boy with no money, but maybe I could pay you in some other way, Elimeo.
Lowell, other ways don't pay my bills, boyo.
A true artist doesn't care about money.
A true artist who doesn't care about money has money and can afford to not worry about
it.
Unfortunately, I'm not so lucky.
I paint for the fun of it, but it's even more fun painting for money.
Selling iPhone SE 32 GB.
Will you take $20?
Is that an offer?
No, sorry.
I have lots of interest at the full price.
Sell it then if that's true.
Thank you for your permission.
Hi, Arena, I heard that you translate from German to English.
I need some papers translated ASAP.
Let me know if you can do it.
Yes, I translate from German to English.
What kind of papers?
It's a court decision about my divorce.
My ex is German, we live there together.
I want to move
back to the USA and I need those papers translated ASAP. Okay, I have a lot of experience in
that field. What's the volume? How many pages? 12 pages plus 2 appeals and rulings, so
20 pages altogether. It's a bit complicated. We have a kid and it was about child support
and custody among other things. Also, I need these papers translated by tomorrow morning.
Well, I need more time for that.
Does Friday morning work for you?
Why can't you translate them by tomorrow morning?
Because it's already past midnight here, and it takes much more time to translate
20 pages of legalese than eight or nine hours.
Could you do it by tomorrow evening then?
That way I can have them by Thursday morning.
It is possible, but I'd have to charge a bit more. I'd have to drop everything else and focus
only on your documents. How much do you charge? Normally, I charge 8 cents per word of translation,
and in this case, I'd have to charge 9 cents. What the hell? But that's way too expensive.
For 20 pages, you would take more than 700 euros?
Well, yeah, especially when the deadline is as tight as it is in your case.
Bear in mind that a translator based in Germany or the US would charge much more than I do.
What a rip-off! Take it or leave it.
How can you charge that much? There's a child involved here.
I lost my job due to COVID,
and you as a woman should be more supportive. You obviously have no kids.
Actually, I do. I'm a mother of three. Then you definitely have a rich husband,
since you have no understanding for single moms who lost their jobs.
I'm a single mom of three kids for your information, and this is my job. This is how I earn for a living.
You don't have to accept my price, take it or leave it like I said.
There are many translators out there who can translate from German to English, and I'm sure that some of them would be cheaper than me.
You're a single mother and you could give a discount to another single mother you know.
We have to help one another in this cruel world. Would you accept
a hundred year-rows? My price is not negotiable, sorry. Why are you such a b****? You're a part
of the problem you know. Why wouldn't you help another single mom? Don't you have a heart?
My ex threw me out of his house and doesn't pay child support and my son is literally
in the street. That's why I need to get back to the US
and for that I need this effing translation.
I'm sorry to hear that, but this is how I earn for a living.
I could give you a discount, but not more than 10%.
10% means nothing to me.
It's still way too expensive.
It's such a rip-off.
Every school kid in Germany could do your work, you know.
Then please find such a kid and let them translate your court papers.
And FYI, Google Translate is free.
But school kids don't have experience with these court papers and Google Translate is bad.
I really need a professional who's experienced in the field.
I know, that's precisely the reason why I charge as much as I do.
You're such an arrogant, heartless, big-
You make money on someone else's problems.
You greedy grunt.
If you had a heart, you'd do it for free.
You'd help another woman, another single mom,
and not earn off of poor and depraved people.
My husband doesn't pay me child support.
He's evading it, and I really have no money.
Police be sensitive. Again, I'm sorry to no money, PULY HEES BE SINCITIVE!
Again, I'm sorry to hear that, but let me ask you something. If you don't have any money,
how in the world do you intend to move from Europe to the USA? Would you ask Loved Hands
of Airline for a free seat, or actually for two free seats in their airplane? That's
not your problem, you know. Of course it's not my problem. The question
was rhetorical to demonstrate that even single moms have to pay for services at other people
render. Year-ab-beek! Ericant and greedy. Lufthansa is a huge company and you can't compare
them to you. True, but Lufthansa can afford to give someone a free seat, whereas I cannot afford
this ridiculous price that you're offering.
This conversation is already a huge waste of my time, and time is money for those who work.
I knew you're a grunt.
Now you're showing who you really are.
A materialistic, heartless b****.
I hope that you catch COVID and die so that your kids are homeless like my son is.
You stupid, cold-hearted, b****!
Barenin' Hell!
Have a great day, and have a nice flight to the US, Karen.
My name isn't Karen, can you even read?
Oh, yes, your name is definitely Karen.
Buy Karen, have a great life.
F-U-U-G-R-U-G-R-T?
Man, oh my god.
Yeah, well, why are you charging so much any kid can do this?
Well, then use a kid.
But kids can't do this.
Ha, ha, ha.
Also, on top of that, we've got,
but single moms need money.
I'm a single mom too.
Well, I'm not giving you any money.
Facebook posts, looking for vegan housing in Portland.
I'm making a request for an emotionally safe, conscious, trauma-informed, and healing
home.
I would like for my physical need of housing to be provided and to be able to just relax
into receiving.
I would like to be in a space with people who consistently get their needs met and are
available to meet my needs from a place of genuinely feeling good doing so.
I would like to be with people who understand how to compassionately respond in an attuned
weighted triggers, subconscious resistance, and protective aspects. I would like to be in a
space with people who are emotionally self-responsible, dedicated to their own growth, and who prioritize
the safety and security of their relationships most. Currently, my needs that I would like met are significance,
that is, being important, valued, and a number one focus
and priority, consistent physical comfort,
positive attuned marrying, and emotional validation,
healthy ownership and belonging,
and commitment to supporting my healing
of developmental trauma.
Some really vulnerable needs around my developmental trauma are breastfeeding, being bathed, having
my physical nutrition and diet guided, being fully provided for without needing to reciprocate,
being given a sense of empowerment and control in a container.
Emotional regulation, constant clearing direct communication, engage, play an exploration
of interest and being the center of focus and attention.
This post is a request for me to receive what I need.
I'm available to receive from people who are inherently fulfilled and get their needs
met by giving what I need.
If you would be fulfilled meeting these needs for me, please reach out to me directly.
I do want to share that I struggle to trust people in their motives, so I may not be fully open or receptive if you reach out to me directly. I do want to share that I struggle to trust people in their motives,
so I may not be fully open or receptive if you reach out to me. I still need people to initiate
connection with me. Okay, so right off the bat, I'm just going to admit that I don't fully understand
this post. This person is saying a lot of like weird things using very specific terminology that I don't fully understand.
Like, what was it?
They need someone who responds to subconscious resistance.
I don't know what that is.
And protective aspects?
I'm not exactly sure what that is either.
They say they want positive attuned mirroring.
What even is that?
It's the ability to recognize, understand, and engage with another's emotional state.
Okay, so it's just empathy, I think.
So anyways, I just want to admit that I don't fully comprehend what's going on in this post,
but I think what's happening, and correct me if I'm wrong here,
but I think what's happening is that this person wants random strangers to invite this person
into their home and just let them live there rent-free and provide all of their needs
for free with no reciprocation whatsoever. And in addition to housing and vegan food, what they also
want is, I guess someone to breastfeed them and bathe them, right? They say some really vulnerable
needs around my trauma are breastfeeding, being bathed, and having my physical nutrition and diet
guided, being fully provided for without having my physical nutrition and diet guided,
being fully provided for without needing to reciprocate.
I think what you're looking for is a mom.
I think what this person wants is to be a baby, like a one-year-old baby, and they
want a mommy to bathe them and feed them and breastfeed them.
But this person isn't a baby.
They're an adult with a Facebook account.
I guess they want some like 40-year-old woman to be some maternal mother figure who just
invites them into their home and to breastfeed and bathe.
Am I wrong about this?
Am I off?
This doesn't seem possible.
I don't know, man.
This seems like a lot of typing just to say, seeking full-time mommy-dom with big ol'
mommy-milkers.
And honestly, dude, same.
I think most people would love to have that.
I'm looking for a babysitter ASAP.
I'm paying $125 per week.
I'll provide all that's needed for the child's care.
What are your hours like?
5 a.m. until 6 p.m.
Ah, okay, so 52 cents an hour.
Good luck.
Down in the comments, Snooze says, for that price,
is the kennel to hold the child included,
or do I have to provide my own?
And Highlander ads, the funny thing is I was just thinking about that.
It cost me more to kennel my dog for one day
than this lady is offering for 13 hours of childcare per day for a week.
That was our slash-choosing beggars, and if you like this content,
be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.
for a week.
That was our slash-choosing beggars,
and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast
because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.