rSlash - r/Insaneparents I Make My Kids Drink Their Own...
Episode Date: June 12, 2020r/Insaneparents I've covered a lot of crazy parents on this channel, but the parents in today's video are the craziest of the craziest. The father in the first story wants to cast some sort of evil va...mpire Christian spell on OP that sucks out his life force so that the father can literally become younger. We've also got a mom who forces her kids to drink their own... well, you'll just have to listen to that one for yourself. If you like this podcast and want to see more, hit the follow button for more daily Reddit podcasts! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/Rtwc9ZC 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit.
Today's subreddit is R-Slash in Sane parents.
This next post is long, but man, it's a wild ride.
For context, OP dated this girl in high school and then broke up with her.
And 10 years later, his ex-girlfriends dad leaves this message in his mailbox.
It's been nearly 10 years since I learned that you stole my daughter's virginity.
Initially, it was my intention to forgive you.
But after I confronted
you about it and you expressed repentance, I later learned that you have since gone and
done the same to others. Moreover, you have regarded the matter more like winning a game
than the despicable deed it was. So, I have decided to irrevocably retract any offer of forgiveness.
In the interim, I have thought, prayed, and
cited the scripture seeking for an appropriate response. At the time, I was a man of modest
means and you deliberately took from me my most precious treasure. A treasure I invested
my heart and soul and every available resource in creating. For a brief pleasure, you forever
took from me the sublime joy of giving my pure virgin
daughter away in marriage for her chosen husband.
Moreover, you broke trust with me and God, for you promised me as a Christian brother to
diligently guard against this very act.
Since you haven't raised a daughter, you can't imagine the emotions and feelings that I
have endured without relief since then.
However, I will tell you that my wrath against you is so great that to kill you by prolonged
and extreme torture, followed by the thorough desecration and destruction of your corpse,
would not be enough to extinguish my anger. However, I am restrained from doing violence against
you by the soul fact that I've given my heart to our Savior Jesus Christ, and doing willful harm to a fellow Christian is an impossibility. Moreover, I cannot hate
a person enough to desire that they should suffer eternal torment and hell. So I've sought
for resolutions somewhere in between these extremes. After years of searching, long night
spent examining possible courses of action, I've settled on a form of restitution
that fits the principles God ordained in the revelation of a scripture.
It's derived from the following points.
1.
When Jacob sought to marry Rachel, the daughter of Laban, they agreed that Jacob would first
serve Laban for seven full years tending his herds, flocks and tribes.
Therefore, if we mutually agree that you can marry my daughter, the equivalent of seven
years of your full-time service would have been a reasonable bride price.
Then this guy includes the relevant Bible verse, which I'm not going to read because it's
pretty long.
2.
However, we had no agreement, and you took my daughter's virginity through deception and
seduction.
Therefore, it was stolen, and you are a thief and a liar. The scripture
state that when a thief is discovered, he must repay sevenfold what was stolen, even
to all that he has. In fact, if a thief doesn't have the means to make full restitution,
then he may be sold into slavery as well. Therefore, the restitution is seven times seven
years, or forty-nine years of the prime years of your life.
For you have no material possession, nor is there any amount of labor or money I would accept
as restitution.
And again, this guy includes another Bible verse.
3.
Moreover, the law of Moses states that a father may refuse marriage to his daughter to a man
who seduces her, but still require the bride price.
And another Bible verse.
For when the Canaanite Shekham raped Dina, the daughter of Israel, Shekham offered restitution,
saying, Ask me for as great a bride price and gift as you will, and I will give whatever
you say to me.
Only give me the young woman to be my wife.
So I have decided to petition the courts of heaven to take from you and give to me that
which is your dearest possession,
your youth, and all the good that goes with it.
Specifically, I demand divine restitution that will age you and rejuvenate me 49 years.
Therefore, if from this date you discover that you have aged significantly or aging rapidly,
no, no, no, that it is not a medical condition. It is the judgment of God.
Nor will I relent and give it back to you under any circumstances. For nothing you can do could
restore my daughter's virginity and our family's honor. You have also stained your family's honor,
but that is another matter you must face with them. Moreover, you did this to testable deed under the guise of professing the Christian faith. Therefore, you have offended
Christ, greed the Holy Spirit, and tarnished the reputation of all true Christians. If you
will make an appeal, make it to them and see how they answer you. Even if my divine petition
is not accepted and you don't age, know that you are still in the wrong and are separated
from God until you are reconciled with me.
Lastly, I will add that you have committed the act of fornication.
This is specifically forbidden to Christians, grieves the Holy Spirit, and condemns the
perpetrator to eternal torment and hell.
I have actually seen hell firsthand, and assure you that it is very real and terrible beyond description.
With this restitution, your debt to me will be paid.
I don't know how many other parents you have similarly swindled and robbed, but that is
also another matter, and how you will reconcile with him is your concern.
However, you must still repent and ask God for his forgiveness to save any hope of salvation.
I do not expect he is pleased with you.
Sincerely, blank.
I've got to include this comment from James.
The correct response is, sir, there's a mistake in your calculations.
I still three of her virginities.
Alright, so can we just put aside for a second that this guy thinks that he can suck the
years out of someone's life like some sort of time vampire and instead address the point
that this guy thinks that restitution is that he gets the 49 years.
I mean, logically speaking, let's just assume that everything this guy is saying is true.
Wouldn't that mean that the stolen 49 years of youth should go to the daughter, not the father,
since she was the one who had something stolen from her? How insanely possessive and self-entitled
you have to be to think that your daughter suffering means that you're entitled to payment. Also,
I did some digging through the comments because I was kind of worried for this girl's safety,
and it turns out that she ran away from her father years ago and is currently no contact.
Hmm, I wonder why.
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News article Comedian Brad Williams raises over $30,000
to send a bullied nine-year-old to Disneyland.
And this is a reply to that story. I'm sorry,
but this is ridiculous. My son has autism and has been bullied for years, has come home crying
many times. I told him to stop being a wussy. If you can't handle being bullied, you're not going
to be able to handle anything. I told him I didn't care and if he came to me crying again I would give him
something to cry about. He's 14 now and doing great. If he's still getting bullied he knows better
than to tell me. It's life. Parents need to stop and let the kids work it out. My son used to say
he wanted to die and I said do it because if you can't handle life now you're really
gonna be screwed.
Down in the comments, Kim and Sums up that thread quite nicely.
My child came to me about being tormented by his peer group, so I threatened him to make
him stop talking to me.
The one person whom he should be able to count on and it worked.
Someday he'll be either dead or never talked to me, but I'll never take
responsibility for either of them. God, I'm a piece of garbage. I have a podcast today, so I have
to get ready and also do my other homework. Okay, please know that Jay is coming to dinner at 6.
We're gonna be extra nice and calm because he's having a tough time. okay? Okay. Huh?
Okay.
And then, because OP doesn't answer his mom within 15 minutes,
she turns off the Wi-Fi.
Okay, please unpause me.
I'm in the middle of doing homework for drama.
How about you answer my ding text?
Sorry, I normally turn off notifications
while doing homework so I can focus.
Is that okay?
No, it's not okay.
Text me back.
Okay, sorry.
Can I please do my homework?
I'll turn off do not disturb on my phone.
I need the internet to do my homework.
Down in the comments, there was a little bit of confusion as to whether or not OP and
his mom were in the same house when this happened.
And OP clarified, yeah, oftentimes instead of coming up and talking to me,
she'll block the internet to get my attention and wait for me to either come down to her or text her back.
So basically, this mom is so lazy that she's unwilling to go upstairs to talk to her son,
and would rather just sulk for 15 minutes and then punish the sun for having a life.
I've made my kid crush his new iPhone X with a meat hammer. I was sick of threatening to do it.
He's had to work for the last few months to build enough chore money to pay the insurance.
It worked. Yet another parent who someday won't hear from her kids ever again.
That's absolutely not true, thanks for generalizing.
We have a fantastic relationship
and he was talking about wanting to have a good career
so he can buy a house big enough for me
to live with him forever.
Lady, that's called lying
so you don't break any of his other stuff.
My mother and I went shopping one day when I was 16.
I've been cursed with really large breasts.
It looks
odd as they don't fit the rest of my body and they give me back pains, so there's really
nothing good about them. I decided to finally get professionally measure to find the correct
pro size. Up to this day, I was wearing an ADB. When the lady was done measuring and gave
me a bra to try on, I was completely stunned. Before, I always had to hold my chest when I went down
the stairs or when I'd been over to make sure nothing fell out. With this bra, I could
even jump in everything stayed in place. It was an ADE and fit perfectly. I went to my
mother who waited for me at the register and happily told her I'd found the perfect
bra. When I told her my right size, she snapped. How do you think you are?" she said.
Do you think you're better than the rest of us? I will not buy this piece of garbage.
Your sister has it be and so do you. Don't think you're special.
Then she dragged me out of the store. As I wasn't allowed to get a job, I had to wait
two more years until I moved out to finally buy underwear that fit.
My mother still thinks she's in the right and can't understand why my sister's and I needed therapy after growing up with her.
This mom is literally punishing her daughter for having a different body shape than her and her sister.
Like, why? I can't even understand the logic of these nutty parents.
Is it jealousy? On this next post, OP hasn't spoken to his mother in months, and then she finds out that
he's living with his girlfriend.
You haven't tell tomorrow to move back home.
Living with your girlfriend will not be tolerated.
Or else, what?
You don't pay my bills.
You don't have any control in the matter.
No control.
I am your mother.
You will do as I say.
Be here tomorrow or we will have the police remove you from your home.
Elimeo, go ahead and call them.
Tell me how that goes for you.
By the way, you're gonna be a grand mob,
not that you'll be involved in their life whatsoever.
Wheeeee!
Hello 911, what's your emergency?
Hello, my son is living with his girlfriend.
Go arrest him, please.
A car pulled up with an unresponsive kid.
I tubed him.
We coated him for a good hour.
Never got him back.
His mom stopped his asthma meds and was giving him essential oils from an article she read.
The essential oil quacks killed a child today with no recourse. Let that sink in.
When I started feeding my kids urine, I moved really slow as to not disrupt their body's natural functions.
I would mix a couple of table spoons in with their cereal or replace their milk and water in
their smoothies with it. Gradually, I increased the amount of urine I was giving them until now,
two years later. I can finally give them full glasses of urine that they happily consume,
and call it apple juice. If they complain that it tastes funny, I tell them that it's organic.
They had no health concerns this whole time. As long as you take things slow, you'll be okay. This lady puts the urine into Lady Uransane. And to everyone else out there who was certainly
thinking to themselves, so what the f? I went down into the comments of this post and
learned that apparently there's this thing called alternative urine therapy where people
think that urine can treat diseases and sickness and yeah, it's all kind of nutty.
Why did I say kind of nutty? I mean, extremely nutty.
On this next post, OP is 26 and this is a conversation she's having with her friend.
So, my mother just hit a new level of crazy. She's upset that I'm staying up late and she told me that she's laying here with me
and refusing to leave until I fall asleep. Crazy. She's upset that I'm staying up late and she told me that she's laying here with me and
refusing to leave until I fall asleep.
I can't be on my phone and I can't have the TV on and my eyes must be closed.
She's literally refusing to leave the room and won't let me use anything once I go back
to bed.
I'm stealth texting this.
I'm hiding in the bathroom right now.
She just left after staring at me for an hour,
and then being upset I couldn't sleep while being stared at. At this point, my migraine is exploding,
so I asked her for my pills, and she almost refused me the meds again, until I explained that this
was just a half dose of what I used to take, and then she seemed okay enough with it to give me my
pills. And one detail I'd like to point out with these text messages is that they were sent
at 3am and 4am, which means OP's mom was keeping her awake until 4am by just staring
at her.
On this next post, OP asked her mom if she could dye her hair, and her mom said yes.
And when she showed her mom her hair, her mom went nuts and started screaming at her,
which led to a fight, and then this text exchange.
Why are you effing crying for that stupid thing you did?
Don't you effing blame me for this?
I am so mad of what you did right now.
I never blamed you, because I asked nicely and you started screaming at me.
I hope you're happy you got what you wanted.
I'm not saying it's your fault.
I'm human. Please treat me as a human. I am not your effing slave. Great you're really doing this.
You want war? Okay, I'll give you war. Effing come home now. I'm staying with Jessie. Oh great,
please do. That was our slash insane parents.
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