rSlash - r/Ispeakthelanguage Racist Jerks Don't Realize I Speak Their Language!
Episode Date: April 21, 2021r/Ispeakthelanguage Have you been in public, heard people speaking in a foreign language, and wonder what they were talking about? Well, in today's episode, we've got people who DO speak the language,... and who overhear gossip in other languages that was definitely not meant for their ears. For example, a pair of front desk workers trash talk OP, who understands every word. When OP confronts them, they practically die from embarrassment! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Now streaming on Paramount Plus.
Hey baby, I hear the blues.
It's calling, toss salads, and scrambled eggs.
Y'all know how this goes.
And maybe I seem a bit confused.
Yeah, maybe.
But I got you picked.
Ha-ha-ha.
But I don't know what to do with those toss salads and scrambled eggs.
Kelsey Grammer returns in Frazier.
Life's calling again.
New series now streaming on Paramount Plus.
Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit.
Today's subreddit is R-Slash I speak the language where people assume that OP doesn't speak
their native tongue and they are sorely mistaken.
Our next reddit posted some grantez fries, a bit of setup first.
I live in a relatively large city in East Germany.
My parents are German, though sometimes I apparently look like I'm from the Mediterranean, especially
if I don't shave for a few weeks.
My ex boyfriend is Israeli, and I've met a few Israeli friends through him who live in
my city.
I've been to Israel a few times, and I started learning the language because I think it's
fascinating, and I love languages. After we broke up we stayed in contact and I continued to learn Hebrew from
them without having to pay hundreds of euros for language courses. I regularly meet up with my
best friend for a language tandem. He teaches me Hebrew when I teach him German. So today we met in
the city center for a stroll in a coffee. We spoke German for about an hour before switching to Hebrew.
At this time we got onto a bus to get to his place.
While we sat down and continued to chat, a middle-aged woman sitting across from us started complaining
in a very thick regional accent to her boyfriend that all these airfing Arabs are ruining the
country.
They should either speak German with each other or just shut up.
At this point, I just looked at her and switched back to German saying,
I am very much able to speak German, probably even better than US Forest pronunciation
goes.
Next time you complain about someone, make sure you're not talking BS, or make sure
you're quiet enough that the other person doesn't hear you.
Also, we're not even speaking Arabic you moron.
She just looked at me dumbfounded and left us alone until we got off the bus.
I doubt that she was embarrassed, probably just more shocked that I talked to her that
way.
Our next reddit position, sweaty and bit.
About a year ago, I was dating a Vietnamese girl.
She was born in the US, but her parents immigrated from Vietnam and brought a lot of her family
later on, including my then girlfriend's grandmother, who speaks very little English. My girlfriend taught me a little bit of Vietnamese to get by, and she taught me the words for pretty
handsome and thank you among others. I was never fluent or even good, but I knew enough for
the situation to work it out nicely. I met a lot of her family at a dinner at her house, uncles,
aunts, family friends, etc. The aforementioned grandmother approaches me with my girlfriend standing by for translation and the following conversation happened. The grandmother says,
Do you know who I am? Yeah, I've heard a lot about you. It's very nice to finally meet you.
Her grandmother turns around to their group of women and says it in Vietnamese,
He's handsome. And I say thank you. Her grandmother whipped around with her mouth open and started laughing along with a group
of women who were dying with laughter behind her.
I couldn't help but smile after that.
Well, that's good news OP.
If things don't work out with your current girlfriend, it sounds like you've got an opening
with the grandma.
Our next reddit post is from deleted.
So I'm a Turkish girl living in Germany.
There's nothing special about Turkish people here, where the largest minority.
However, there is one thing about me that makes me different from my fellow Turks, my
parents.
Since I have Eastern European and Balkan ancestors, people always mistake me for either being
German, Russian, or Bulgarian.
So this story happened two to three months ago.
It was a Wednesday afternoon, and my friends and I decided to meet in front of our university
to hang out. I showed up too early so I had to wait for him. While waiting,
I decided to buy something to eat at a bakery and a nearby metro station. Note that a lot of
university students passed through that station so it's always loud and crowded there. Anyway,
I went inside in order to pretzel. There were two people working at the bakery, a woman in her
forties and a boy my age. When I first saw them, I instantly recognized that they were Turkish, but I decided to speak
German with them.
When I went to pay, the woman said,
That'll be 80 cents please.
The woman said something else, but I couldn't hear her, so I just put my money in front
of her.
Oh, excuse me, I didn't understand you.
Here's the money.
What was it you said?
Yes, I told you to give the money to the boy, not me. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't understand you. Here's the money. What was it you said? Yes, I told you to give the money to the boy, not me.
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't hear you.
Whatever, it's fine.
The boy turned to the woman and said in Turkish.
Is she stupid or what?
How could she not understand you?
Why didn't she just give me the money?
The woman responded also in Turkish.
Yeah, you're right.
Stupid thing.
I didn't say anything.
I just smiled and waited for them to give me my change.
The woman saw my smile.
Then this happened.
She said in German.
Hold on, are you Turkish?
Can you understand us?
I responded in Turkish.
Yes, of course.
One of my supposed to do if I didn't hear you the first time.
I'm sorry for that, but really, you shouldn't call me stupid for something so minor.
The boy's face immediately turned red, and he tried to talk to me in Turkish, but I just
turned around and left.
Our next reddit postage from existence declined.
I'm three quarters Vietnamese, and I was born and grew up in America, so needless to say,
I'm fluent in English.
All of the women in my family, say for myself, work on a nail salon, including my geriatric
grandmother who should really retire.
But chooses to continue working because she gets bored at home otherwise.
She, of course, communicates with her co-workers in our native language at work.
One day, I went into her salon to just visit.
While I was there, this woman was getting a pedicure for my grandmother and messing around
with the supplies on her trolley, putting the chemicals on her feet without my grandmother's
permission.
My grandmother, of course, just let her do what she wanted to do at a professional courtesy.
She then asked my grandmother what one of the square bottles contained, and to which my
grandmother just shrugged, because like, what do you care at this point?
You're here giving yourself your own pedicure.
After that, another customer sitting next to the client chimes in and says,
don't bother none of these women here speak English.
My grandmother's client responds with,
true, although she'll probably understand no tip.
They both have a laugh at this and I let them finish before piping up in perfect English.
If you don't tip my grandmother, who's nice enough to let you do as you please in her
workplace, I'll make sure to tell the manager to never allow you back in here.
Both women kind of stared at me stunned after that, with the other clients nearby busting
out laughing.
I guess I embarrass my grandmother's client at for that, because she just sat in silence
for the rest of her pedicure and sat messing with her trolley.
Then she tipped my grandmother and left.
My grandmother reprimanded me out for that and said that I should have just kept quiet
out of professional courtesy.
And it doesn't matter what they say anyway, but like I will never tolerate anyone in my
family to be taken advantage of or spoken down to.
So yeah, hopefully that lady thinks twice about what she says
if she ever comes back to the salon again.
This NHL season, get more excitement out of every slap shot
with Fandule, North America's number one sportsbook.
You can bet on everything from the money line
to over-unders to which player will net the first goal.
Make your picks and assemble a same game parlay
with Fandule Sportsbook, home of the SGP, plus with Fandual's
quick payout so you can get paid faster than a breakaway.
Make every moment more with Fandual,
a official partner of the NHL.
19 plus and physically located in Ontario.
Gamlin' Problem, call 1866-531-2600,
or visit connectsentario.ca.
What do I love getting my holiday gifts
with Chopper's Drug Mart, the PC Optimum Points?
Perfume from Mom? Points for me.
Gaming Council for the Kids?
Points for me.
Chalkets for the Teachers?
Oh yeah, points for me.
Shoppers.
You should totally go.
Exclusions of Lie.
Our next Reddit post is from Frula's On Reddit.
A little context.
I'm Mexican, but I can easily pass as a white dude.
I also currently live in Southern California, so there's plenty of Spanish speakers here.
If I had a nickel for every time someone said, I thought you were white.
Well, you get it.
So one day I was studying for my class at Starbucks, and it's a little packed when his
bandit couple in their late 30s walk in.
And after some time they're able to snatch the table next to mine.
The guy must have been a bit upset at how crowded it was, so he turned to his girlfriend
and said, in Spanish, something to the effects of.
These damn kids just come in here and hog the tables and slow down the wifi.
I normally don't say anything to comments like these, but that was just really uncalled
for.
So I turned to the guy, and in my most fluent Spanish I said, well, yeah man, the wifi
here is awesome. His face went deep red.
This poor guy was mortified, but at least he had the good grace to be embarrassed. His girlfriend just looked shocked.
He said, nah man, I didn't mean anything by it, but I kind of often said again in Spanish.
Of course you did man, you thought that I was white and you tried to slip me a fast one.
At this point his girlfriend bursts out laughing and the guy hangs his head in his hands.
I made sure he knew that I wasn't offended and I just wanted to poke some fun at him,
but man, it was satisfying to bust him like that lol.
That's such a weird assumption to make. If I were in Southern California,
I would just assume that everyone either knows Spanish
or knows a couple of words to make out what someone's saying.
Our next credit post is from Georgia Swift.
My family and I love Disney World.
The last time we went I was 17 and I'd been studying Spanish for 6 years.
I was about to go to university to study Spanish and Portuguese.
I have a strong British accent.
I think the kind of accent the people used to mock the Queen. And since we just had a long flight from England to Orlando, I was wearing a comfortable
pair of shorts, a t-shirt, no makeup, and my hair was tied in a bun. After we checked in,
I headed to the reception to ask if we could have a second key card. As the lady at reception
was fussing about giving me a second card, tapping on the keyboard, etc. she was chatting with
the other lady in Spanish.
The conversation went more or less as follows.
You'd think she'd put some pride into her appearance.
Latina's wouldn't leave the house without makeup.
She's English, what did you expect?
Everyone knows they look like garbage.
But shorts and trainers, no makeup?
She hasn't even done anything with her hair.
That's probably why she's on holiday
with her family and not a boyfriend. The sad thing is, she's the most attractive of the lot.
No standards in England clearly. The lady then handed over my key card. I smiled and I replied
in Spanish. Thank you so much for your help. Next time you see me, I'll have makeup and
nicer clothes because I won't have just stepped off a 9 hour flight. I'm off to bed now. Thanks again for your professionalism.
As soon as I started speaking, the first lady looks horrified like she'd seen a ghost.
The second lady turned and bolted from the desk without saying a word. In the morning,
I walked past that first lady wearing nice clothes with my hair down and my makeup on point.
I waved, but she pretended she didn't see me.
Our next red opposed is from Unicorn Nipple Farts.
My fiance was born and raised in America, and I was born and raised in Poland until the
age of eight.
We went to visit my sister in Crackow.
I'm fluent in Polish, however, I also speak English fluently with no accent, and I sound
like a native speaker.
My fiance speaks no Polish, except for maybe five simple phrases.
We both entered a gift shop in crackout because we wanted to purchase gifts for some of
his family and we were discussing what my work in English.
I happened to notice that a male employee was hovering and asked in English if we needed
any help.
And we tell him that we're just looking and deciding on what to purchase.
He continues to hover until a female employee calls him over and asks him to polish.
Why are you hounding those two?
Just let them shop.
He replies with, they're Americans, I just want to make sure they don't steal.
I calmly turned to him and said in perfect polish.
Oh, I'm so sorry, I was actually born in the city.
And I assure you that we have them wanting to purchase any items that we were interested in and didn't plan on stealing anything.
But I think it's best that we take our business somewhere where we won't make the employees uncomfortable.
I have never seen a more mortified look on someone's face and a complete look of confusion on my fiance's face.
As I walked out of the shop laughing, I explained the exchange to my fiance who thought I was hilarious as well.
Our next reddit posted from the peasant king.
A few years ago, I went to live in China for a year to study Chinese.
I come from a Spanish-speaking country, and I met and dated a girl from a different Spanish-speaking country who was also in China to study the language.
My girlfriend and I decided to go to Chengdu, and on the train we met and befriended two Chinese girls who were barely out of high school.
When we arrived at Chengdu, we found out the four of us all had reservations at the same
hotel.
For the whole four days that we were in Chengdu, we all hung out together.
On one of these days, we were on a bus to a popular destination in Chengdu.
My girlfriend and I were talking in Chinese with our friends the whole time.
Across the aisle from our friends were two middle-aged Spanish men who were talking loudly in Spanish.
These guys were disgusting!
All they talked about was how they'd hooked up with dozens of Chinese girls because they were so easy and they craved white men.
I was cringing from listening to them talking about Chinese girls like they were a semi-autonomous sex doll.
But I reached my limit when they
noticed our friends. They set their eyes on my friends and said they would hook up with
them. Again, talking about them as if they were cattle. My girlfriend and I interrupted
them in Spanish and told them to knock it off. They were surprised that we could speak
Spanish and tried to pass off their disgusting conversation as a joke. We told them to be
careful because we could
very easily tell everyone on the bus what they were saying, and I was sure they would
not appreciate how they were talking about them. As for our Chinese friends, they just
saw them my girlfriend and I sounded cute in Spanish. That was our slash I speak the language,
and if you like this content, be sure to follow this podcast because I put out new Reddit
podcast episodes every single day.
be sure to follow this podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single
day.