rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance How I Ruined My Stupid Boss's Career

Episode Date: January 11, 2022

r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, OP is working at a company where he helps many different teams. Things start just fine, but he quickly becomes overwhelmed as departments request more and more of his time. He eventually becomes unhappy and starts looking for a way out. Meanwhile, OP's boss order OP to just shut up and do his job, so that's exactly what he does! He does ONLY the things required in his job description and stops spending hours helping out all the departments that depend on his help. Before long, the entire department crumbles and OP's boss has to take all the blame! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash malicious compliance where OP just does his job and shuts up. Our next reddit post is from Unfocus My Che. The software company I work for got acquired. Some people were let go, some were added, and some teams and functions were restructured. Prior to acquisition, we had a multiple hat situation where you basically did whatever was in your capacity. Teams played to each other's strengths, and one person would generally take a client from the first demo right through the configuration, implementing, and training bases of the software. Some of us had strengths in technical areas, while others had decades of experience in the client's subject matter. Clients would give us

feedback or wish lists. We talk amongst the team about how the functionality could be added or changed, make a functional mock-up, and then bring that to the development team for polish and integration into the production code. This process worked wonderfully. Like, we got 100% positive feedback, and nothing was ever broken when it went into production. We had a good rapport with the dev guys, and some of us were able to write queries or code portions that would save them from having to ask a billion subject matter questions. When we weren't dedicated to a task, we'd handle support calls. Clients would call up, and receptionists learned who to pass things to based on clients in

the nature of the issues. And resolution was typically instantaneous unless the problem required research. Clients loved this, and they understood that if we couldn't resolve their problem right away, it was because we had to look into it. After the acquisition, the parent company reorganized things into a much more rigid, you have one job type of scenario. The trouble was, with all the people they let go,

I was the only remaining person who could do certain tasks. It left me working with sales, product improvement, product evangelism, implementation, development, data conversion, and the support teams. Initially, I didn't mind. It wasn't any different from my previous role. Things started nicely enough with the company CEO genuinely asking me, would you mind helping X-Team with Y-Project? And he'd pick up my travel bar tabs and toss me a day off here and there. It was a fair exchange, and he treated it as though I was doing him a favor. But at some point, all these other departments expected, then demanded my time. Instead of people asking when I could help them on a project, I would just find time blocks

added to my schedule for various things. A couple of times, I was supposed to be hitting these meetings and having things prepared and no one even bothered to tell me. Around this same time, I noticed that a lot of recommendations that I made when asked for input were being overturned by people in new roles who had no idea what they were talking about. As in, literally, they had no exposure to the subject matter, and they had never even seen the software. Plus, they had no programming or database experience. So, my input was demanded, but also ignored. And this was causing even more demands on my time

when things were broken or didn't meet client expectations. Plus, the new dev team I was working with made every excuse not to act unless someone went and fetched everything they needed. The external demands on my time had increased, and I had coincidentally hit a few walls with my actual job and that clients were unresponsive, and they couldn't get me the data or access I needed to complete tasks. But that didn't stop my boss from demanding documentation, demanding results, and demanding documentation about the results. There was no such thing as waiting.

Apparently, it's my duty to call and harass the powerless client until whatever third party involved enables whatever they need. I was really unhappy in a job that I'd previously loved. Each new day was worse in the last. And then I got my employee review. It was top notch, and yet I got the same cost as living raises everyone else. It particularly pissed me off that the sales guys were getting commissions on sales that I effing made.

And I was just shafted. At the original company, effort above and beyond was well rewarded. I doubled my starting salary in just a few years due to hard work. Now I was miserable, overwhelmed, and I had nothing to show for it. I was having daily arguments with my boss, who was completely indifferent to all my commitments, and refused to understand that I couldn't compel third-party companies to do my timely bidding to get client data or access. Out of nowhere, I got a call from the head of the Data Conversions Department.

He said that a few of his people noticed that some random guy in Team's chat. Me was providing a lot of high-level solutions to their problems. Then he asked me if I could help his team with some of their code because they'd work with my code before and everyone called it flawless. Plus, I'd help some of them out before on an earlier project so they knew that I was reliable. He said that the client wouldn't stop gushing about me and he was floored to hear that I had written all that code myself when his team typically breaks down that responsibilities between five or more people. He offered me a position on the spot, and I told him I was interested and I think about

it. He told me I could start doing some part-time stuff with him a few hours a week if I wanted to do it that way. Then he told me that he saw the BS I was dealing with, and he said that he would get the other departments off my effing plates. I liked him right away. My current boss then interrupted our phone call because she saw me talking to that guy on our in-house phone app and demanded to know what I was wasting my time on.

Then she berated me about my open projects and my lack of documentation about their lack of progress. She said, you've got time to BS with him, but you can't call a client. I tried to tell her for the millions time about all the expectations from the other departments. The obligations they impose on me, the inability that I have to force other companies to do things for us, no matter how many times I call the client, and she told me, I am done with your excuses. Just do your job and shut up." I called that guy back and asked him how soon I could transfer to his department full time.

He said, effing yesterday, man, this is such good news. I was talking to the assistant department manager, and he just about messed his pants when I said that I thought that I got you part-time. Take the rest of the day off, have a beer to celebrate, I'll handle the transfer, and we'll see you in the morning. And that was that. I did as my new boss commanded, and I had a beer to celebrate. A wave of relief came over me after months of tension. The following day, I told the vampire departments and my previous boss in no uncertain terms that I was done helping them. This went unacknowledged, and they continued adding things to my calendar.

So I deleted them. I just did my job and shut my mouth. Things got ugly. I was literally the only person they had for a lot of things. Most of the things that I did required institutional knowledge that I'd spent years acquiring, so they couldn't even hire someone else to do these things. And rather than come ask me for help, people made demands and attacks, and I got flat out belligerent about it. The support manager wrote me an email copying

the CEO and asked, how come you can't be bothered to help us anymore? I said, for the same reason that you can't be bothered to clean the toilets or recable the building. It's not my job. My previous boss told me to just shut up and do my job, so take it up with her. The sales guys tried to go over my head and ask my new boss if I could do some of their demos. He said, sure, if you come over here and do some of his conversions, the numbers started tanking for the other departments that I was previously involved in, especially the support team. They went from a two-hour average resolution time to an eight-day average resolution time.

Sales for my product line went down from 85% success to less than 25% success. They went from 100% customer satisfaction down to 60%. The implementation team was completely unable to install certain components, which led to at least one contract cancellation and demand for a refund. And in true storybook fashion, my previous boss's boss, the one who gave me that review, later told me that the CEO noticed, hmm, all the departments that OP stopped working for suddenly saw their worst numbers in company history, weird. And apparently, the CEO asked my boss's boss, was there anything in particular that pushed that guy over the

edge? He explained that I was pissed about my race having nothing to do with merit or effort. The demand that was placed on me from other departments, the unrealistic and impossible expectations, and the idiotic requirement for documentation. So this year and going forward, there are now two criteria for yearly raises, individual output, and department output. There are no raises for people with negative performance numbers. After that announcement, some department heads just up and quit, and other changed positions internally. Meanwhile, I've written a few pieces of code for my team that have saved thousands of hours of manual work. Also, our numbers are soaring, so our whole team is making bank. Our next reddit posted from Wavelinzi.

Before I get into the story, I realized there are jobs where notifying your boss when you leave your desk as a normal practice. However, that was not the case at this job. We had top secret clearances and handled collateral secret equipment and sensitive encryption key material on a regular basis. They assumed that we were adults and they generally treated us as such. I was an airman in the Air Force working on Cosmic. It's difficult to fully explain

this job to people who have never done it, but the short version is glorified inventory management with penalties for messing up, including but not limited to prison time. We were working out of a temporary facility, and not all of us in Comset could fit in a secure room. So we were spread out in multiple offices. Myself and my direct supervisor shared a small office while my manager was in a different one.

One day, I did what all civilized humans do at least once a day. I went to use the restroom. I came back, and my supervisors said that my manager was looking for me, so I went to her office. Yes, ma'am, you want it to see me? Why weren't you at your desk? I was just using the restroom, ma'am. You need to be at your desk at all times, and when you're not, you need to let me know. Yes, ma'am. At that time, we were using email and Skype for computer communication. It was common practice in that office to send quick messages to each other over Skype. So, I made sure to let her know every time I left my desk using Skype.

Just as she ordered me to. Every bathroom break, every drink from the water fountain, I even notified her that I was leaving my desk to come talk to her after she told me to come talk to her. Every single time that I left my desk, she was notified. Ma'am, I'm getting up from my desk to grab form 16 from the printer. Why are you using a printer in a different room? I'm not, but I still have to leave my desk to retrieve it. That was the last straw she'd had enough. She told me to stop telling her when to leave my desk to retrieve it. That was the last straw she'd had enough. She told me to stop telling her when I leave my desk,

except for when I leave for lunch. I get that this is our slash malicious compliance, so this is stories about people being needlessly compliant just to get on other people's nerves. But OP, if you're working a job where literally doing your job incorrectly could mean that you go to jail, then yeah, I would have done the exact same thing. Our next reddit post is from Storming Sunshine. I'm a storefront window painter.

I typically give quotes for jobs based on supplies and time to do the job. I recently had a business owner ask for a mildly simple design on a small window, and I gave her the price of 150 bucks and I did the job. The business next door wanted a very simple design on bigger windows, so I did the job for $250. After I painted, they didn't like my price, and they wanted me to charge by square foot instead of complexity in time. I had them sign a contract stating the price per square foot regardless of design, and that payment was due immediately. Then I measured the window, and the price came out to 500 bucks.

It made for a nice Christmas bonus. Our next Reddit post is from Riddick Bowers. I was part of a security team for a large public building. Since the building had to be available to the public for more than 8 hours per day, we had two shifts. Early shift was 6am to 2pm and late shift was 10am to 6pm. I was a supervisor on the late shift. My staff consisted of me and six guards, including one guy I'll call Jersey. The building closed at 5pm which meant that no more people could come in, but

the employees in public and side could finish their business and leave. At the end of the day, our job was to ensure the building was clear of people, lock all the appropriate interior doors, set the alarms and leave at 6 o'clock. Since it didn't take all seven of us to complete this, I would allow all staff except for one to leave about 515 or 530. By then, 90% of the people in the building were already gone. The daily designated staff member and I could handle the closing tasks. The staff would rotate who stayed with me each day, and the system worked out fairly well for all involved. This meant that everyone was getting off work 30-45 minutes early every day, and getting

paid for a full day. One morning at about 9.30, we had a minor crisis in the building, and I needed a staff member to handle it. I knew that it would take most of the day, so I didn't want one of my early shift guys to handle it, or it would incur over time. Two or three of my guys, including Jersey, were in the locker room getting ready to start their shift. I asked Jersey to grab his gear and go handle the issue.

He looked at me and said, you know, technically, I ain't on the clock yet. I told him he was correct and never mind. I grabbed a day-shift person to handle the issue and the day progressed as normal. Five, 15 rolls around and I wandered to the locker room. I see all my guys getting ready to leave, including Jersey.

I asked them where they're going. They told me which employee was staying with me and that he was still at his post. I glanced around the room, then locked eyes with Jersey and said, You know, you're technically all still on the clock. Nobody leaves before six. It was dead silent as I walked out of the locker room. I have no idea what they said to Jersey in the locker room, but I bet that it wasn't pretty. We all stayed late that day, and no one said a word

about it to me. However, the following morning, Jersey was in my office waiting for me when I arrived. He said, Hey boss, I'm really sorry about yesterday morning. I was out of line. You won't hear that from me ever again. Whatever you need, I'm here. We return to normal operations after that, and I had no trouble getting someone to step up on occasion. As a boss, I'll do whatever I can to take care of my employees, but I do expect a little flexibility from them in return. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.