rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance How I Tricked My Boss Into Giving Me $2,000,000!
Episode Date: April 27, 2021r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, we have one of the craziest stories I've ever read. An out of touch multi-millionaire boss has one of his employees invest some of his cash into the stock mar...ket. When OP grows the investment, his boss demands that OP also hand over his portion of the profits. OP begrudgingly agrees, but he doesn't tell his boss that there's still some leftover cash in the stock market. The boss either forgets about that cash or never realized it was there in the first place, leaving OP to walk away with a cool $2,000,000. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read
the best post from across Reddit.
Today's sub-reddit is R-Slash from Lich's Compliance,
where a spoiled brat falls into a giant mountain of poo.
Our next Reddit post is from the breakup.
Background, a year out of school in the early 1990s, I procured a job as a business analyst
for a large family-owned tech company.
This business was located in the booming heart of technology at the time, and it was very
profitable.
As tech took off over the next decade, the company thrived and remained family-owned.
What started off as a rich family and a rich company became exceedingly wealthy,
and they had a net worth in the low billions. The family that owned it was quite neurotic,
moody, and they had a reputation as being ruthless when it came to financing,
deal-making, employees, etc. I truly believe that this is what held them back from ultimately
becoming a household name as a company. As I progressed in the company, I gained more and more FaceTime with the owners.
I worked on some projects directly with the owners, and they really paid off, which
gained me even greater access to their inner circle.
Now like a lot of people at the time, and particularly those who worked in tech, I was heavily invested
in tech stocks.
I discussed some of my investments in gains with the owners in casual conversation, though investing had nothing to do with my role in tech stocks. I discussed some of my investments in gains with the owner's in casual conversation,
though investing had nothing to do
with my role in the company.
That is, until one day in late 1999,
when one of the owners came to me
and asked me if I would invest some of his personal money,
he wanted me to take big risks
using one million dollars of his personal money.
I was a bit hesitant, but still being in my late 20s
and wanting to prove myself, I said I would. I was a bit hesitant, but still being in my late 20s and winning to prove myself,
I said I would. I asked for a written agreement where they acknowledged that this wasn't my role
in the company, it was a personal matter between the owner and me. Also, it specified my compensation
for this side arrangement, which was 20% of all profits. Around this time, and by working in the
industry, I started to notice the weakness associated with a lot of tech companies. They just were not living up to their hype and stock prices, and some seemed like they
were starting to run out of money. I didn't have any insight information, just a gut feeling of
what companies were struggling based on my experience. So, I started using both my money and the owner's
money to short tech companies just after the new year in 2000. For anyone unfamiliar with shorting, it means that if the value of the stock decreases, then the value of your investment
increases. Well, in the first two months of the year 2000, both my account and the account
that I set up for my boss suffered moderate losses. But then, the tech bubble began to
burst and both accounts, but my bosses in particular began to skyrocket.
In June, the company I worked for began to suffer a downturn.
We were so profitable, but since we provided tech services and products, we weren't immune
to weaknesses in the broader market.
I hadn't informed the owner of my short strategy.
He came to me one day asking how his money was doing, saying that he suspected that it
was way down like the general market.
To his surprise, I informed him that there was 1.35 million in cash shitting in his account
that belonged to him.
The owner, either through ignorance or lack of attention, said, great, 1.35 million, fantastic
work in this down market.
Will you please wire it to me?
I responded that I would, but I'd be taking my 20% of his
350k or 70k before wiring him the remaining 280k. I also reminded him that I still had open
positions that I'd yet to pay off or close, but I didn't state the amount. He, once again,
appeared not to understand or comprehend the open position statement. But instead, he became totally focused on and
incensed about my rightful claim to the $70,000. He went on and on about how times were
tough, I should be grateful for a job, particularly at my young age, and the entire 350K was necessary
for him in the company. I knew for a fact that this wasn't true. Even worse, this was my
first time personally experiencing that family's greed and corruption.
Now comes the revenge.
Since after two separate occasions, the owner didn't seem to grasp that the open positions
I still had would yield at least some income and thus additional profit, I decided not
to mention it again.
I sent him back the entire 1.35 million and I continued to manage the open positions
to the best of my ability. And here's the kicker, the owner never brought it up again.
He seemed to think that the 1.35 million payment was the entire value of his account, and
he either never understood or never remembered that the open position still existed. He never
asked for records, tax documents, or any financials.
Given the fact that he was dishonest with me, I didn't feel the need to keep him updated.
Ultimately, after a bit more neck gain, I closed out my accounts for an additional 1.8
million. I worked for the company for 3 more years, and the owner never asked about it
during my 10 year after I gave my notice or sense. I know it's a bit crass and even shady, but given his dishonesty with me over the 70K, I felt
justified in keeping the additional 1.8 million. I paid the taxes on my gains
and I went on my way with a fantastic nest egg. The final ironic cherry on top
of this Sunday is that during my remaining 3 years, I gained
greater influence with the owners because they considered me loyal for giving back the
full 1.3 million.
And for not making too much of a stink about the 70k profit, little did they know I got
the better of them.
The company eventually folded it to family disputes, but my understanding is that ownership
walked away in a very good financial
position.
They likely would have been a much better and greater company, had they not practiced the
same dishonesty they showed me with their vendors, clients and employees.
You know, the ironic thing about this story is that if OP had disputed the 70K, then he
probably would have gotten it.
However, the boss would have certainly gotten lawyers involved, and they would have quickly
discovered that missing money.
So by OP folding to the owner's greed, the owner completely blinded himself to that missing
cash.
Anyways, congrats OP.
$1.8 million is a life-changing amount of money.
Our next credit postage from Cinema Bears.
I worked graveyard shift in a large furniture warehouse preparing furniture for next day deliveries.
Each prepper was responsible for prepping two delivery bays.
To prep the furniture, we would unbox all the furniture, put feet on couches, hardware on dressers,
build dining room chairs and make repairs.
Our culture was to prep your bay and then when you were finished you helped the next bay.
And this snowballed until everyone was finished and then you would hop on a cherry picker to get last minute additions or replace damage furniture.
So our work decided to implement a production standard.
You were given a certain amount of time for each action down to the nuts and bolts.
If you added up your a lot of time and you finished early, you got a 10 cent per hour bonus,
equaling 80 cents a day.
Also, this was to prevent you from helping
other bays because you weren't a lot of time for others' work. So, cumalicious compliance.
I was efficient and I did not waste any movements. I would blast through my bay, I had a
mile out of time, and finished two hours earlier than I was allotted. Instead of turning
in my sheet and getting 80 extra cents, I sat on a couch at the end
of my bay and did nothing until my shift was over.
I remember when a manager came by and asked for my help.
I just looked at my watch, then at my beautifully prepped bay and said, I'm so prepping my
bay.
I put my headphones back in and leaned back while he looked at me completely shocked.
There was nothing they could do because I was
still on the clock for my bay. I saw it as more beneficial to get paid for two hours
of doing nothing than to get paid for 80 cents of working my butt off. Man OP, I had to
go back and re-read this story because for a second I thought I was misunderstanding
something. I was thinking that maybe it was 80 cents an hour, but no, it's 10 cents an hour up to a maximum of 80 cents a day.
What kind of incentive is 80 cents a day?
I mean, that would have been a good pay boost in like 1925, but in 2021, who cares?
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Our next credit position, Linatins.
This happened in the summer before my senior year in high school.
My best friend at the time invited me to come stay with her and her dad's family in Florida for two weeks.
Much to my chagrin, I got a period during that vacation time. I had brought supplies with me just
in case, and I disposed of them wrapped up in toilet paper in the littered garbage can in the shared
bathroom. On the third day of the trip, her dad approached me to say that my friend's stepbrother
who lived with them had seen my period of products in the bathroom garbage can.
Like, what was he doing?
Was he digging around in there?
Anyways, the stepbrother was disgusted by it.
The father asked me to not throw them out there because his son would have to see them
again.
Again, I'd like to point out that it was a lot harder to see them than to avoid them,
but whatever. I asked the father where he suggested I dispose of my disgusting products to avoid upsetting
his son.
I thought this was kind of a ridiculous request since this is a natural body process
that I can't control, but I wanted to do what I could since I was a guest there.
But this guy just says, just hold it in until we go to dinner or something and then throw it out in a public restroom.
Sir, you have a daughter.
How can you not know that that's not how things work?
When I asked him when I should do it,
that's not an option, he said,
just flush it then so that my son doesn't have to see it.
Cue malicious compliance.
So instead of wrapping up my used tampon and toilet paper and tucking into the trash can
that has a lid, I'll just flush it down the toilet instead.
The first one went down fine.
The second time it went down as well, but with a gurgle.
But the third one made the toilet back up and overflow.
I will always remember the sight of my friend's dad pumping the toilet only for a partially
dissolved bloody tampon to float on the surface of the bowl.
I went back to putting them in the trash can, and he didn't say another word about it.
Man, it's amazing how many guys seem to think that girls can just hold it in like they're
holding in pee or something.
Also what I want to know is, what was this step brother doing that he found something
wrapped up in toilet paper in a trash can with a lid on it? Also, what I want to know is, what was this step brother doing that he found something wrapped
up in toilet paper in a trash can with a lid on it?
I think Opie was right.
Was he actually digging around inside the garbage can?
It's like that old joke.
What are you doing, step bro?
Except really, seriously, what on earth are you doing, step bro?
Our next reddit post is from Batkeven.
I worked as a server for a small brand new family owned restaurant.
This place was one step below White Tablecloth and had a barn one side with the restaurant
on the other.
The owners were awesome and provided industry professionals to train us on how to best
read a customer and maximize our tips.
As an example of just how effective this training was, on opening day, I dropped an entire
tray of drinks down a woman's back. Yet, this family returned several more times and when only
let me serve them. The owner brought them out of Parker the first time they returned.
One technique we were taught was to establish who was paying from social cues and make sure they
were happy. If a couple comes in and you believe the man is paying, make the woman feel like a queen.
When it's time to pay, she'll likely encourage a higher tip.
It's incredibly effective.
As I finish taking an order, I notice a film before being sat in my section and I stop
by immediately to introduce myself.
My assessment is this.
A husband and wife very nicely dress.
They're beautiful early 20 yearold daughter about my age, and what I gather is her boyfriend
wearing a suit and tie.
The dad is very clearly paying, but this young aspiring businessman here interrupts the
mom when she was ordering her drink to inform me that he'll be ordering for the table.
If looks could kill, the father would have taken out this young man and probably
10 people in the bar area. Oh buddy, your knight is not going to go the way you thought.
Every time I return to the table, I would face him, only look at and talk to him, and I
would turn my back on the father. The daughter asked for something, I don't remember what,
and without even acknowledging her I asked him, may she have that?
He barely stammered out of yes.
When I brought the bill, I said it right in front of him.
They hung around for a while, and I continued to check in and refill drinks while the bill
remained untouched.
I think the dad was making him sweat.
Eventually, the dad grabs the bill and puts his card in.
I brought back the receipt and think the and puts his card in. I brought back
the receipt and think the young man for coming in and walked away. I was elsewhere when
they got up from the table, and the young guy moved the door at a speed that would make
lightning look slow. The other three were all smiles, and the dad looks across the dining
room and mouthed. Thank you. I gave him a smile and a nod and continued on my way. The
tip of the mouth was a number I don't remember, but I know that it was good. Really good. It must have been a small wedding because I never received
an invite. Wow OP, you really gambled with that one. Turning your back on the father and
completely ignoring him could have been a huge backfire. But instead, it sounds like this father
just really enjoyed
you making a fool out of this young kid. Our next reddit post is from Gong Reloaks.
This story happened just a couple of hours ago, so it's so fresh that you can still smell it.
We get kids from the local school to come out with our community garden, and it's often the
case that they turn up on a Saturday morning as well. They're almost entirely well-behaved,
which is lucky lucky because there's
almost nothing that we can do about bad behavior other than using a stern voice. Although, one time,
one of the boys kicked a rabbit and one of the girls grabbed a shovel and smacked him over the head
with it. Rough, but effective justice. There was this one kid who came for the first time last week.
I didn't know him, but we tried to make him feel very welcome. He only lasted half an hour before storming off in tears, because we
had to tell him off three separate times for spinning around in circles and holding
out a tool at head height. This morning he came back with his mom, and I saw him point
out my friend and me. But he didn't ask to join in after we shouted hello, so we let him
be.
After about ten minutes he started wandering around, and my friend shouted to him, don't
go around the greenhouse mate, it's not safe around there.
Well his mom had obviously been waiting for this because she went from 0-100 in 2 seconds
flat.
She demanded to know if we own this garden and if not, what do we have to say about where
her son goes?
We explained that we just went on to be safe, and she replied that she's quite capable
of taking care of that herself.
Thank you.
Fine, whatever.
So off the kid went exploring behind the greenhouse, which is not safe, because that's where the
compost heap is.
As well as the muck mound, which is a giant pile of horse manure. We get the giant pile of horse manure delivered every autumn.
By this spring, the inside is all nice and rotted down, and the outside is hard and crusty, and much less strong than you think.
After about a minute, there was a crunch and a squeal.
Apparently, the kid thought that the pile was solid, so he tried to climb it,
and then it cracked, and he fell inside of it. He was absolutely black from chest height
downwards, and well-wrotted manure is thick, sticky, and slimy. I like to think that we did a
very good job by dragging him out without saying I told you so, or breaking into laughter. His mom
grabbed him without a word, and they hid it for the gate.
He started bawling when the surprise were off.
My friend said, would you like some garbage bags to spread around in your car and to her
credit, she did say thanks when he handed them over.
I wonder if we'll see them again next week.
Tell me you have shitty parenting skills without telling me you have shitty parenting skills.
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