rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance I WANT BONELESS PIZZA!

Episode Date: December 9, 2022

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These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home Welcome to our slash malicious compliance where a customer forgets to order boneless pizza our next reddit post is from flat bush FC I was waiting tables at a regional specialty pizza place about 10 years ago. A family comes in and I take their order. The teenage daughter wants a cow's own and wants chicken wings as a filling for that cow's own. I start to confirm that she wants wings because this was before the boneless wing craze because they have bones in them. She gives me that open mouth raised eyebrow look that says, did I stutter?

I say that I'm gonna have to check with the kitchen and I ask a line cook if he could put wings in a cow's own. His response was, uh, I mean, I guess. And he translates to the pizza guy what we need and the pizza guy just shrugs and nods at me. I go back to the table and say, the kitchen says they can do it, but I wanna make sure that you want chicken wings

in your cow's own and the dad exasperated says, buddy, why is this so hard? Not hard at all, sir, coming right up. The kitchen guys are actually chuckling while they put this thing together. I walk it to the table, happily drop it off, and get called back three minutes later to explain why there's bones in a cow's own. Since I'm very comfortable with confrontation, I say, this is what you ask for. I confirm twice, and the dad snaps his finger to the manager and calls her over.

He complains that there's bones in his daughter's cow's own, and the manager looks at me and I say, I confirm twice that she wanted chicken wings, and the dad says, you know what she meant, like chicken meat? I explain, there's chicken meat on those bones. The manager tells me to wait elsewhere, then takes a tongue lashing from the customer, then personally makes a new Calzone. Mind you, the family eats their food

while the new Calzone is being made, forcing the teenager to eat alone while the dad keeps looking at his watch. About 10 minutes later, I was fired, with no protest from me. In fact, I got to leave before Calzone girl finished her meal and take great satisfaction knowing the manager had to bust the table afterwards. Down in the comments, scorch 07 says exactly what I was thinking. I'm baffled that you got fired for this. As a manager, I would have been in the back laughing my head off with you. Our next reddit post is from NilaNoot. The Leaf Collection Company for my neighborhood has absurdly strict rules about where leaves must be for the

pickup. I live at the end of a cul-de-sac, so my curb is curved and pretty short. My property is wedge-shaped, so my backyard is quite long and has like 40-50 oak trees. I also have two sugar maples in my front yard, so leaves, lots of leaves. Pick up rules state that the leaves must be within 5 feet of the curb, but on the road. They also must be at least 15 feet from the mailbox. Because subscriptions for leaf pickup are by individual homeowner, neighbors aren't allowed to combine leaves and can't buy a group subscription. Subscribers must only put their leaves from the current year out for pickup.

Pick up trucks use GPS to identify homes who've signed up and ignore leaves in front of homes that did not sign up. Because I have so many leaves and so little curb, I call the Leap Collection Company and asked to put the leaves along the longer curb that I share with my neighbor. No problem, they said. Great! The truck came through and picked up a fraction of the pile, and they left the rest of the pile the driver decided was in front of my neighbor's property.

I called the company back, and a different person said, those are the rules, you'll just have to figure it out. Fine. Now it's on. The area where I can put my leaves is only 15 feet wide and 5 foot deep. However, there's no limit on height. I moved the remaining leaves to my available curb space. I collected the rest of my leaves and added them to the pile. I spoke with my neighbors and acquired the rest of my leaves and added them to the pile. I spoke with my neighbors and acquired the rights to their leaves by paying them $1 each. Now, their leaves are my leaves. I shoveled all the leaves off the street and they went on the pile. I collected the purchase leaves from my neighbors. They went on the pile.

Leaves continued to fall, so I kept adding them to the pile. It was a lot of work, but the pile was over 12 feet tall. I spent a ton of time using a snow shovel to fling the leaves on the top of the pile that was more than 5 feet above my head. Neighborhood residents stopped to gap at the epic leaf mound. I'm more than happy to bat a willful ignorance with malicious compliance. I reminded myself of this every time that I spent another hour tending to this obscenity on my curb. The truck came today.

My leaf pile dwarfed the truck. They had to drive away and dump leaves, then come back and reload twice. OP includes a not that great picture of the leaf pile, and indeed this pile is taller than Opie's shadow. Our next reddit post is from Ladyblade War Angel, so here's a malicious compliance story that made my family laugh for years and still does. A good few years back, I was about 25 years old. I went to Cypress with my grandparents to visit relatives.

My grandparents originally came from there and moved to the UK when they were like 16. My cousin, a 14-year-old girl, also came along. Now it's important to mention that we're Greek Cypriots. I had never heard that word before so I had to look that up. A Cypriot is an ethnic Greek population of Cyprus. So not just from Cyprus, but also part of the ethnicity of Cyprus. So not just from Cyprus but also part of the ethnicity of Cyprus. As Cypriots, certain things are expected when we visit our relatives, such as helping out with things if we can and offering our help for whatever our host might be doing. It's also worth mentioning that I have

an eyesight problem, but I'm extremely independent in spite of it. So we were visiting relatives, and every time I offered to help out, either taking dishes to the kitchen, bringing them out of the kitchen, washing up, even getting a glass of water. I kept being told to sit down and that they would handle it. I didn't understand why because I'm perfectly capable. I thought that maybe it had something to do with my poor eyesight. One day, we were visiting a great auntie of ours, who owns a little summer home by the sea, not too far from where we were staying. Now whenever I visit this auntie, I always go swimming.

She's literally not even a couple of minutes away from the sea. Now as I went to offer my help to my great aunt, I hear my 14-year-old cousin talking to her in Greek. Another important note is that I can't string together a sentence in Greek. My father is English, and he had something against us speaking Greek. But, even though I'm not a fluent speaker, I can still read, write, and understand Greek. My family does not know this. They assume that because I'm not a fluent speaker, that they can basically hide their conversations between other people. My cousin was telling my great aunt how clumsy I am, how stupid I am, how I'm a little soft in the head. She was saying all this in Greek,

and she thought that I couldn't understand her, but I knew exactly what she was saying. Even though I couldn't string the sentences together myself, I knew what she was saying about me. I added two and two together, and realized that my cousin was very obviously telling all of my relatives this. She did this because she thought that she would receive all the praise if she did all the helping out without me. I was angry about this, but I knew the perfect revenge. We ate lunch, and after we were finished eating, my great aunt asked my cousin for help to take the dishes in and do the washing up, because she had been on her feet most of the morning preparing the food. My cousin looked at me, knowing that my great aunt couldn't speak English and said,

Hey OP, auntie needs help taking the plates in and doing the washing up, because now she was bored and expected to run off to the beach and leave me doing the hard work of cleaning up, so I looked at her and said, but I'm too stupid, clumsy, and soft in the head to help Auntie out. Besides, she asked for your help, not mine. My cousin went pale, realizing that I knew what she'd said. But my cousin doubled down. But I helped bring everything out, you can help take it all in. I laughed at her, picked up the book that I brought with me and got up from the table. I grabbed the towel that I brought with me and walked off.

My cousin started whining to my grandparents that I wasn't helping her. My grandmother looked at her and said, You made your bed, now you lie in it. Your cousin caught you lying about her, and now she can go to the beach while you help your aunt. My cousin then went completely white. So I went to the beach. I swam for 30 minutes, then chilled out on a deck chair reading my book under the shade of a nice umbrella. By the time my grandparents called me to say that we were heading home, my cousin had spent all that time helping to wash dishes, dry them, and put them away. She hadn't gotten to be lazy and go to the beach and enjoy the sea.

I could have helped her. I simply decided that I wouldn't because she never earned my help. Since then, every time we went to a relative's home and she was asked to help, I watched with a smirk on my face. To this day, 12 years later, I still won't help her. She made it seem like I was incapable, so now she can suffer the consequences. It's the malicious compliance that just keeps on giving. So down in the comments, people are asking if anyone ever explained what happened to all

of OP's relatives in Greece, and OP says this. My grandmother obviously explained what happened to my grade on that day, but it basically got decided that whenever my cousin came along to any relative's home, she'd be doing the chores that would normally be shared to me. And still, to this day, she won't admit that she lied, so the family just keeps it going. Our next Reddit post is from I Look Better Than You. I work in a help desk call center as a first line agent on purpose. My job is easy.

We work from home where users can call, email, or chat us, and we fix their most basic computer problems. Often resolved by a restart or redeployment of some sort. I took this job on purpose to get away from a very stressful career that killed my social life and frankly my will to live. This job cost me exactly zero energy, giving me the space and energy to have the social life I've always dreamed of.

This job's pay is based on the languages that you provide help in, and because of my language skills I make more than anyone else in my team. For this simple reason, I refuse to take any promotions, which bring more stress, but are not financially compensated. So as a result, I've worked in the first line for 3.5 years now, while most of my colleagues have gotten promotions. Because this company has a huge turnover, I often get new colleagues and managers. I usually train the new colleagues, and I have a friendly, cordial relationship with the managers. I usually train the new colleagues and I have a friendly cordial relationship with the managers, but I always try to stay private and

reserved as much as possible to save all my energy for afterwork activities. Most days, I don't talk to anyone, I log in, do work for like 50% of the time, and the other 50% I study, read, watch movies, listen to music, whatever. So what's important to know for this story is that we can get a bonus of up to 10% of our monthly income depending on our productivity. I always get the 10%, but for some newer colleagues, it's difficult because the requirements are pretty high. If I like a colleague, I'll sometimes help them by closing tickets in their name.

I also usually take the more challenging tickets and leave the easier ones for the newer team members. A further bit of information is that the company I work for has their help desk for 12 languages. So to cover all the languages, we have a team of 8. So now the malicious compliance. One of the people I trained became the new team leader, which I actually encouraged. The guy is exactly the manager type and understands the job. Unfortunately, the pressure from his boss got to him and he started checking our stats. And notice that for about 4 hours per day, there was no activity from me.

I explained to him that this is on purpose to give everyone a chance to get their bonus and that my output is still higher than anyone else on the team. He also noticed that I sometimes close tickets in my colleagues' names, for which I couldn't give him the real reason because it's sort of fraud. I just told him that sometimes I rush and just don't notice. He told me no more relaxing times and no more closing tickets in other people's names. He actually said that he would be checking up on me to make sure that I worked the full eight hours that I'm paid for. I explained to him that this was a very bad idea, that the team is doing really well, and the current status quo is perfectly balanced and he shouldn't upset it, but he was young and

reckless. Fine. So, for the next two months, I worked at full capacity. Where normally, there was a good balance of closing tickets and everyone getting a fair shot at their bonus. Now, all of a sudden, I did about 70% of the work, leaving very little for my colleagues, who for both months didn't qualify for their bonuses,

causing huge team conflicts. I tried to stay out of it, but I was soon accused of stealing all of my colleagues' tickets and not giving them a chance to earn their bonuses. I replied professionally to all the accusations via email, making sure to CC all the relevant managers, including the boss's boss. After two months, our new team leader was reassigned

and the status quo was restored. So the funny thing about this story I noticed is I feel like in most corporate jobs, what they would have done is just like fired half the team and then made OP do 70% of the work for like indefinitely in the future because it would have saved them money. However specifically the way this company works is that they have to cover 12 languages, and even if OP speaks, you know, I don't know, 2, 3, 4 languages, they still have to have one person at least that speaks a certain language for the other 8 languages that OP doesn't know, which means you can't fire them. So as a result, OP really had them by the balls

here. You can't fire the other people because then you don't offer languages, and you can't let them quit because they're unhappy because you also can't cover their languages. So the only solution is to just give OP what she wants. Our next reddit post is from X Wall Street Guy. A bit of context. I've been in the mortgage business and related businesses for over 30 years. I know it very well. I've never liked Bank of America, especially their servicing division. I refinanced my mortgage through a mortgage broker, and to my aggravation, they sold the servicing rights to Bank of America. For clarity, the entity that owns your loan is usually different than the one that you paid a service at loan. I was miffed. I

estimated that Bank of America paid about $5,000 to service my loan because most folks at the time expect loans to stay on the books for at least three years. About two months after the servicing switched, Bank of America announced they'd be charging me a $5 fee for the convenience to pay the mortgage online. Truly an unwarranted money grab. I'm blessed in that I can put a little extra towards my mortgage payment every month. So the following month, I took out my mortgage payment plus $400 in quarters for my local bank. I then went to my local bank of America branch and handed them my mortgage payment in quarters

and my repayment stub. I asked for a receipt of payment. I overpaid my mortgage to reduce the current balance and thereby reducing Bank of America's fees. The nice branch manager said that you can write a check and that you don't have to pay in coins. I said I could, but I would be charged a $9.50 convenience fee for the stamp, my check, and the ink used. The branch manager actually laughed and said, okay, they counted the money and I got my receipt. Next month, the charge was still there, so I went to another local bank of America branch which had gotten bad reviews on Yelp due to a hostile bank manager.

I did the same thing. The branch manager said, right to check, we don't accept quarters. I said, shall I call the local state's banking commissioner, the consumer financial protection board, and the office of the comptroller of the currency, which is the top bank regulator in the US, and say that you won't accept legal tender? I asked to talk to the district manager. I was making a stink. After about 20 minutes, he begrudgingly had the staff count the quarters, and I got a receipt. I told the manager that I would be bringing Dimes next time. And next month, I brought Dimes. He accepted them, but glared at me the whole time. After that payment, Bank of America rescinded

their convenience fee. The month after that, I refinanced my mortgage at a lower rate. Bank of America only got roughly six months of servicing fees from me when they expected at least 3 years minimum. In order for them to make a profit, the loan would have to last at least 5 years. So all together, I estimate that I cost Bank of America about $8,000. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow

my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.