rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance Idiot Karen Gets Herself Arrested!
Episode Date: April 18, 2021r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, a careless Karen causes a three-car accident while driving. Even though she's the person who was at fault, she demanded that OP call the cops. Sure thing, lad...y! The cops arrive, quickly determine that Karen was at fault, and then throw her in cuffs because she was driving without insurance. Why on earth would you call the cops when you're the person who's breaking the law? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit
is R-Slash malicious compliance, where a caring gets herself arrested. Our next Reddit
post is from Malakisa. So, the day after Christmas about 10 years ago, my brother called me up and asked for some assistance setting up his new computer. He lived
down the road from a store that specialized in discount China, so naturally it was extremely
busy. As in, cars were parked everywhere, including on the grass in front of the store. And
it was impossible to see around the corner of these cars if someone wanted to pull into
the road. Unfortunately, the speed limit, which was 50mph, was also extremely fast.
So while I was driving to my brother's place, I decided to play it safe and was driving
about 30mph while going past this store.
Even at this speed, when some guy decided to pull out into the road without checking, I
couldn't stop in time to avoid hitting him.
Now I was driving an older Mitsubishi that already had some damage and he had a small dent
in his fender.
So I exit my car, take a look at the damage, and I turn around to see a furious older
red face gentleman in front of me.
Right after I tell him that it doesn't really look like much damage so there's no need
to contact the police, he proceeds to scream in my face about how I was speeding and this
is all my fault.
Oh, oh no, honey.
A young woman driving by herself may appear to be easily intimidated, but I was trying
to be nice.
If you want the police involved, let's do it, buddy.
I called the non-emergency line, explained there was a very minor car accident, and that
the other driver was insisting it was my fault.
So I would feel better if the police were involved. The dispatcher got my information,
stopped for a moment, and then quietly thanked me for calling the appropriate number and told me
that she also felt that it would be safer for me if the police were dispatched. After a 30 minute
wait and officer showed up at the scene. I, not being a total moron, sat quietly in my car and
waited for him to come over to me. The other driver, felt it was necessary to tell Leap
out of his vehicle and run over to the officer and start screaming and gesturing wildly.
I didn't catch what he said, but I did see the look on the cop's face and I was getting
more and more amused. After the cop clearly told the guy to go back to his car, the cop
came over to me and asked me what happened. I told him what was going on, and that not only
had I deliberately been driving under the speed limit, but I had actually slowed down because
of how busy this business was. He nodded and went back to measure the skin marks on the
road, and confirmed that he believed that I was actually doing about 25 miles per hour,
and he complimented my safe driving. The cop
then proceeded to write the other driver a ticket, and then the other driver pulled out
of the parking lot a second time with his window down and flipped me off. At this point,
the cop came over to me and explained that he wrote the ticket up as the other driver's
fault. He said that he estimated about a thousand dollars of car damage. The cop also
said, Darlin, I don't say this often, but I believe we should take that man's insurance company
for every dime you can get.
Thanks, other driver for insisting that we call the police.
And then beneath that, we have a similar story from Burr Sugar.
One day when I was 21, I walked into my credit union and I made the final payment on the
car that I bought when I graduated from high school.
I decided that I'd go hang out with my grandma so I started the one hour drive.
I was on a country highway doing 55 miles per hour, when the car in front of me stopped
short and I had to really slam my brakes.
I missed the car in front of me which promptly drove off and the car behind me missed me.
I looked up in my rearview mirror and I saw a very pain look on the face of the kid driving the car behind me missed me. I looked up in my rearview mirror and I saw a very pain look on the face
of the kid driving the car behind me. I was confused for a second, after all he'd missed me.
And then suddenly I was jerked forward in my seat. The car behind him hadn't reacted quickly enough.
So that car re-rendered him and his car re-rendered in mine in turn. There was enough time between him
stopping and her hitting him that she couldn't have been paying attention at all. So here we are in a minor 3 car wreck. Me
and the kid behind me jumped out right away to assess the damage. I had just paid off
my car and I was furious. The kid in the car behind me who later told me that he was 17
years old and had just gotten his license was shaking and almost crying.
Talking about how this was his dad's car and his dad was going to kill him.
And then the third driver gets out yelling and demands, who was driving the gold car?
I explained that was me and she started yelling at me for causing the accident.
That she's making payments on her car and that it's all my fault that it's wrecked.
Her bumper was in pretty bad shape.
She said she's 19 years old.
I tell her that this was in no way my fault.
That me and the 17 year old had safely come to a stop before she hit us.
She was not having it and insisted that we call the police.
The poor 17 year old kid was actually crying now.
I had told the girl that the person who does the rear-ending is always at fault
So he was freaking out that he'd be in trouble since he technically rear-ended me
The girl has this crazy smirk on her face
Confident this was going in her favor not only did the cops give the girl a ticket and told her the entire thing was her fault
But also her insurance turned out to be expired by several
months and she was arrested.
I've never seen someone go from smug to panicking in such a short period of time.
So I guess if you're dumb enough to drive around without car insurance, you're also
dumb enough to demand that someone call the cops when you're the criminal.
Our next reddit post is from bribertronic.
I'm a hair stylist.
Last Wednesday
between clients, I went to the gas station to get an energy drink and I was hit by a car
coming out of the parking lot. My car was totaled. The cops came and both cars were
towed from the scene. I texted my next client apologizing and telling her that, due to a
serious accident, I would have to reschedule her appointment.
My client said that she absolutely had to get her hair done before the 4th of July.
I was standing in this to read, looking at my car and pieces on the phone with insurance,
fielding questions from the cops, and yet I still texted the salon owner asking if someone
could take my clients for the day.
The owner said that she'd figure something out and would make sure my client could still
be seen.
I passed this info on to the client who said that she only wanted me to do it and she
had to get it done ASAP.
So amidst all this chaos, I'm still worried about this client.
Who's a bad client by the way?
She constantly complains about her hair, demands free redoes, and only pays about 70% of what's
owed.
I see in my schedule that I have absolutely no room to fit
around before the 4th of July, so I walk back
to the salon after my car is towed away and just take it anyway.
It's just the beginning.
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Once I get in, she doesn't ask if I'm okay and she doesn't think me for making time for
her.
Instead, she launches into a three-hour-long
bragging session about all the guys who are super into her and how she's dating a business
mogul from Newport. The service goes as usual. I've finished her hair three hours later and I'm
about to take her cape off and send her on her way when suddenly she has a problem with the color.
She says it's too ashy. It's the exact same formula and color that I've
done for her for years, but today it's wrong for some reason. Trying to remain cheerful and professional,
I tell her that I'll put a new toner on her no problem. At this point, my grandmother is on her
way with my daughter to pick me up. I tone the client again, blow dry her hair again, and the client insists again that the color
is too ashy.
I explain to her that the second tone I use is the most golden color that exists.
There's literally no way that I can make it less ashy.
She's clearly just being a sadistic B word.
At this point, my grandmother comes into the salon to ask if I'm ready to go.
My client is looking at her
hair and says, you have to do something else, I can't leave like this. So my grandmother goes
back to waiting the car. I decide to use a very, very gold color and tone her hair again for the
third time. She comes back to the chair and her hair is noticeably less ashy because it's basically
orange. I hate this, says the client.
I'm going to dinner with a guy from Newport tonight.
I liked it better the first time.
You need to do something else, just like you did at the first time.
I've done your hair three separate times at this point.
I say packing up my stuff.
As you know, my grandmother and my daughter have been outside waiting for me.
Unfortunately, there's nothing else that I can do because there's now three layers
of toner on your hair and a fourth layer will just make it worse.
I hope you have a great week.
I took her payment after she scoffed and forcefully handed it to me and I left.
It probably wasn't my most professional moment, but I've been looking for an escape from
that client for years and it was worth it.
Our next Reddit post is from Trans.
For clarity on this next post,
collating a document is when you organize them
so that they show up in the correct order.
So page one, page two, page three, et cetera.
This can be a problem in the world of printing
because sometimes you print out like 100 page ones,
then 100 page twos, then 100 page threes. So then you have to
collate all these pages together so that each one is a set of page one, page two, page three.
Background. I've worked at multiple copy shops for a very long time. I've worked as lead production
in multiple kinkos, and subsequently I can make the copyers pretty much dance to any tune that I set.
Anyway, I got a job and done an incredibly busy,
paper-oriented banking company.
My boss was a rather stubborn, closed-minded woman
who liked to insult her underlings,
which included me.
When I started, I began streamlining her processes.
Most of her time was taken up by physical labor,
which the copier's could do automatically.
I pointed this out early on to what she said. That's the way we've always done it and I like it this way. There was an implied thread at the
end of that sentence. Thankfully we worked opposite schedules. So while she was there, it was business
as usual, but I was blessedly alone for six hours after she and the others left. And let me tell you,
things got done when I was alone at work. Turn around time
put drop from 1 to 2 days to less than 5 hours. The clients learned that if they brought their
projects in after my boss left, they'd get them much sooner. All of this leads to a blow-up.
I came into the basement shop early in the afternoon and there are stacks of paper everywhere.
This is a massive collation job, which the copiers can do automatically, of course.
I open my mouth to say that, but my boss screams.
No, don't touch anything.
No touchy.
Start working on the next job.
I don't want you touching this one.
The client is going to get this one on time, not one second earlier.
I don't think my boss liked this client very much.
One time, my boss's husband stared a little bit too long at this client, so there was a
bit of jealousy.
So I opened my email and started pumping out jobs.
They were all collation jobs, ironically.
Really small, really complicated jobs.
They were all done and picked up by the time my boss was packing up to go home.
I'm going home. Don't touch anything. This job is off limits.
I confirmed this job is off limits. Do not touch it.
Five minutes after my boss leaves, the client calls.
Is boss lady still there? I tell her no.
I have to make massive edits to that job. It's like a whole new project.
My boss point blank told me to not touch that project.
If the project isn't done by morning, I'll lose my job.
I know that she's over exaggerating, but I have a way around my boss, so I say,
send the project to me as a new project.
Cancel the old project by email and let the boss lady know, and I'll see what I can do.
The client is very appreciative and sends the files over.
I set the machines up and everything starts printing. All I have to do is refill the paper and
put the automatically collated products into massive binders. Everything was done just before
quitting time and the client was there with their supervisor looking at the process that my boss
was using versus just having the machines do it. The client asked, why was she doing it
that way? I really don't know, but if I had to guess, I'd say that her bonus was tied
to her profit. If she does all the colliding by hand, then each time we touch a sheet of
paper, it costs you money. And it's likely not discounted or included in your contract.
The amount probably isn't much, but it can add up, especially at this company.
The client and her boss thank me for getting everything done so quickly and I hit home.
The next day I get to the copy center and immediately my boss says, go home!
This woman is livid!
Go home, don't come in tomorrow, I don't care who calls you, you're suspended!
I go home and proceed to go on a massive bender.
There's no work the next day, so I turn my phone off.
This prevents angry drunk dialing.
Before I do, I text the client to let her know that I'll be out for a couple of days,
so she can expect production to slow down.
During my time off, my boss calls, and calls, and calls a lot more.
She leaves messages about coming back in in and getting work done, etc.
It turns out the client's boss called her boss, the CEO, and told him about the job that I'd done.
The CEO liked the job that I did so much that he wanted to thank me, and the client may have
encouraged him to also double check our contract. They sent us a new order with all the bells and
whistles that I usually have the machines do, and the turnaround time was much faster than my boss could manage. I
knew that I was about to be fired, so I reached out to a coworker who I used to have at
Kinkos and they agreed to hire me. So then, I informed my boss that I would be quitting.
Boss Lady was fired a week later. Apparently, the client was pissed off, which means that
her boss was pissed off, which means the client was pissed off, which means that her boss was pissed off,
which means the CEO was pissed off. That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you like
this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put on new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.