rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance LOL If You Say So!
Episode Date: May 28, 2020r/Maliciouscompliance In today's episode, OP is a hardworking employee at IHOP, and he has the worst boss imaginable. She's mean, condescending, and creates an incredibly toxic work environment for OP.... Eventually OP decides to stand up to her, so she gives that classic line, "If you don't like working here, just quit!" So that's what OP does, in the most hilarious method possible! His boss is completely shocked and embarrassed by what he did! If you like this podcast and want more, hit the follow button for daily Reddit podcasts! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/rslash 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit.
Today's episode is R-Slash Malicious Compliance, but first a word from across Reddit. Today's episode is our slash malicious compliance, but
first a word from our sponsors.
Note, this story is sad and I have sympathy for the victims, but I don't feel like a bad
guy. There's two layers of compliance. Years ago, I lived in a very Hispanic neighborhood,
which is vaguely relevant information, with a lot of young children. They were very
loud and screamed constantly during all hours of the day and night.
Not just giggle playing screams, but bloody, curdling horror screams.
All the time.
One day, I get a knock at my door and see two blue shirt police officers, a white guy and his
panic woman.
They ask me if I've seen anything strange, creepers, uncomfortable situations, etc.
Things have been pretty normal when I say as much.
They proceed to tell me that a little girl is missing and ask if I heard a scream or struggle. I let them
know that the children scream every day and constantly, so I wouldn't have paid attention
to any particular scream. That's when the Hispanic officer lost it. She got in my face
about racist white males ignoring the plight of his spannics, not caring about the neighborhood
and community and for not calling the police when I heard a child scream.
So I agreed to dial 911 at every child scream from that point on.
Within three days, I'd call 911 at least 15 times.
Each time I explained it was relevant to case such and such and that the Hispanic officer
said that I should report a child screaming in the neighborhood.
Eventually, I got a call from a superior officer about abusing 911.
I agreed and was told to contact Hispanic officer directly with any other information
regarding the investigation.
Malicious compliance level 2.
Now I was authorized to call a Hispanic officer lady day or night when I had information
regarding the investigation.
And I did.
Every scream she got a phone call.
Two in the morning and kids are screaming, guess who else gets to wake up.
Morning officer Hispanic lady, she tries to get me in trouble for harassing her, but I
had a nice trail of documentation with 911, and her own supervisor to always keep her
informed of screaming children.
To help everyone feel a little better, the little girl was kidnapped by her uncle and found safely in
another state. And then down in the comments, we have this contribution from Crimson Kodiak.
A couple of weeks back, I was woken up by my buzzer going off a little after midnight.
I stumbled out of bed. I didn't really want to buzz in whoever was hitting the buzzer at midnight as
I wasn't expecting anyone. I walked out into the balcony and see the security door propped open.
There are a couple of women sitting outside on the building next door who tell me that a couple of police officers just went into the building.
I walked out into the hallway to meet them where they're standing, talking to my neighbor.
They tell us they got a call because someone heard a woman scream and then a pounding sound and they wanted to check it out.
Neither my neighbor nor I have any women in our places, so we're confused.
It's at this point that neighbor's 15 year old son comes and gingerly confesses that
he saw a spider, screamed and threw a shoe at it.
And then we have yet another story from NatoBama AMA.
That reminds me of a story a friend told me the other day.
Not sure why, it's barely related. This guy grew up with a few dogs and some birds in
a little house in the city, so built very close to the other surrounding houses. These
birds were cockatiels and you get noisy sometimes, yabbering on whatever they'd heard and could
repeat, but generally very smart birds. The guy living in the neighboring house behind
used to love playing video games a lot. Specifically Doom, and you would hear this guy, Brad, going at it, killing zombies or whatever they are.
The birds originally liked to whistle a lot, but Brad didn't like it.
Occasionally, Brad would lose focus on his zombie killing, get fed up, and yell as loud as he could.
SHUT THE F UP!
Brad was a lucky bloke and had a nice girlfriend that was sometimes home in these occasions and would yell back at Brad.
Shut up Brad!
Like I said, these were some smart birds and they caught on quickly.
It became quite common to hear this exchange.
Shud the F up!
And then the bird replying.
Shut up Brad!
To which Brad's girlfriend and anyone else nearby would start laughing.
Brad would get a bit more upset while the purrads would continue whistling.
Our next ridot posted from GM10.
Years ago I worked for a family business.
I usually worked over 40 hours every week and when my first check didn't reflect time
and a half, I went to the accounting person who informed me that time and a half was not
a benefit we offer.
Um, okay, it's federal law, but whatever. Fast forward months of working for the company
for over 40 hours a week. One day, I decided to apply for a city job. No guarantee I would
get it, but it was a full day test on a weekday. I had to ask for a day off. Keep in mind,
I'd only used one vacation day until this point. Being honest, I told
them what I needed it for and that I wasn't even sure if I'd get the job. They granted
the day, however, when I got back the day after I was fired. I applied for unemployment
as the firing was a surprise. Someone from the unemployment office called to tell me that
my request was denied as my former employer stated I had received warnings. I hadn't.
I replied, hmm, interesting, since I have an email from my manager from earlier the week I was
fired saying what a great job I was doing and our customers loved me. And they don't pay time
in a half over time. Unemployment guys says they'll call me back. On callback, he advices he
overrode the denial and that I would be getting my unemployment and who I should call to file a complaint for the unpaid wages.
Didn't think twice. Took all the copies of my paystubs and time sheets and filed the complaint.
They launched an investigation, and he was non-compliant with the request for a meeting.
Got to the point that my investigator just showed up one day and walked into his office.
They demanded his books and every employee,
past and present for something like seven years prior to get paid what they were owed. Plus,
he had to pay a penalty. All while another company was in negotiations to merge with his,
our next Reddit post is from Munro. So my friend who is an on-breddit told me this
beautiful story that needs to be heard. A few years ago, she worked at a little hole in the wall franchise liquor store here in Alberta, Canada.
The staff received a notice from management stating that they suspected the
Alberta gaming and liquor commission was going to be doing some kind of secret
shopping in the area. To find liquor stores who weren't checking for ID and that as such,
they were to ID every single customer without exception. Having worked at a liquor store myself,
this would suck, but it beats getting a personal fine and pissing the boss off, getting them a big
fine as well. So one day my friend is on shift, and her horrible manager and franchise owner,
who no one light comes into purchase of bottle. My friend asked for ID. This ensues. Can I see some ID? I didn't
bring it with me. Just ring me up. Sorry. As per your memo, I can't do that. I need to
see ID for every customer. No exceptions. Cashier, ring me up. Now, or you'll be written
up. Sorry, no can do manager. You were very explicit we ID everyone.
You should have known to bring yours.
Obviously that doesn't apply to me.
I own this store.
Ring me up are you're fired.
Guess I'll leave then.
So my friend drops her apron and starts walking to the door.
And her manager lunges for her and grabs her and starts yelling in her face about how
she's fired and going to be banned from every franchise store for life due to insubordination blah blah blah.
Then out of nowhere, a plane closed cop cuffs the manager and she gets arrested for assault. As it turns out, in the line behind Psycho Manager was not only a plane closed officer but an AGLC employee. In the end, the AGLC employee find the manager over $10,000, and she was fired by the franchise
for the incident and banned from even entering one of their stores again.
In addition to the suspended sentence and community service time, she was sentenced to
for assaulting her staff member.
Metrolinx and CrossL links are reminding everyone to be
careful as Eglinton Cross Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert
as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic
signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe
to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe.
And then down the comments, we have this story from PME or insanity. I was working in Hawaii
at a pretty popular restaurant a few years ago, and I get sad
a party of eight all adults.
They all order their drinks, and in general, I only ID people that look up to be at least
35 years old.
If they look any older, I don't bother.
Anyway, so I do the younger looking ones at the table, they look to be about 30, everything's
fine.
Then, one of the older looking ladies at the table, probably in her mid-50s, asked me why I didn't ID her.
I look at her and play along, I ask for her ID.
Well, she didn't have it with her.
Now I can't serve her any alcohol.
So, I explained to her that I'm not allowed
to sell alcohol to anyone who can't show me
their ID if I ask for it.
The whole table thinks I'm joking.
So, I got in my manager and explained the situation to him.
He ends up going to the table and telling them the same thing.
They ended up leaving after arguing with my manager for like 15 minutes.
Our next reddit post is from horror flick guy.
I'm a pasty white Caucasian guy.
I pretty much look ginger, but I'm not a redhead.
This is relevant to the story.
For almost 8 years, I worked at a popular US chain restaurant which specializes in
breakfast food that may or may not heavily feature various flavors of pancakes.
Over time, several managers came and went, but the one who stuck around was the latter
climbing, brown-nosing GM, who will call Hope.
A narcissistic, verbally abusive, control freak mommy dearest knockoff.
Hope at the most grandiose opinion of herself.
She had a way of making.
Please, and thank you!
Sound like screw you.
I did my best to get along with her.
Although when dealing with someone who thrives on conflict, the best often isn't enough.
She made it clear it was her way or the highway. Her off-spouted catchphrase was,
if you don't like the way I run mice, the war quit. Among hopes countless trademark annoying
traits included, breathing, coming into work wasted and talking smack about everyone to guess and
staff alike. She often delivered orders without allowing any responses than concluded those interactions
with, okay, okay. As if that couldn't get any more obnoxious, her foes and serity was almost
always accompanied by an annoying cryptkeeper cackle. Then she'd roll her brown eyes, toss her mouse
brown hair over her shoulder and walk away. Funny story. One Christmas, I was unlucky enough to draw hope's name for
the Secret Santa Giptox change. I seriously considered buying her a batch of wire hangers
with a card simply saying, no wire hangers ever. And for clarity, that's a reference to
the movie Mommy Dearest, which is about a psychotic and controlling woman. I decided
against it for the simple reason that it was no secret that I did not
like her. It would have been totally obvious who bought
of the gag gift. I was one of those highly valued employees, but the way I was treated
completely belied the compliments and accolades I received.
I.e. My schedule being flipped without my consent, they offer quests being denied while other
employees, mostly older married women and single mothers of small children,
as well as hopes drinking buddies got preferential treatment.
And her always taking the side of the guest when they were angling for a free meal, etc.
Perhaps the worst was the bullying and pettiness among certain employees.
It was like high school.
It got to the point that I flat out refused to exchange numbers with her at any coworker
on social media. It was a rule that I flat out refuse to exchange numbers with or add any coworker on social media.
It was a rule that I stood by for a very long time.
Don't mix business with personal.
I've somewhat relaxed that regulation, but for the most part is still in place.
Once while in the dining room, another employee poked me in the face with a tampon right
in front of guests, as well as hope and sunny, the drunken assistant manager.
I filed an official complaint and nothing came of it.
This is one such occasion where they couldn't claim ignorance.
My complaint made it real and they had to address it.
I address it they did.
They saw me as a whistleblower.
Neither Hope nor Sunny could have cared less about staff morale.
It was typical of both of those embittered hags who accept hearsay as fact. They rarely did their diligence in getting both sides
before plotting a course of action. Oh, and plot they did. Unfortunately, the
following shows they responded to my complaint to workplace bullying with
malicious intent. It was at this point I began receiving customer complaints.
Most of the time, hope and sunny would take the word of the so-called customer or the
server passing on the complaint, without gathering any proof that a discrepancy had even
occurred.
I later came to learn that the complaints were completely fabricated.
It was really a coworker just trying to stir the pot.
This whole horror story came to its climax when a co-cad.
Now former employee circulated a rumor that I refused to wait on an elderly African-American
military veteran because I was a racist.
Being one myself, I respect all veterans.
I found it alarmingly laughable at best because one, I am a very gay man.
And two, most of my boyfriends haven't been white.
Hell, everyone including Hope and Sunny met my Brazilian ex-boyfriend who looked black
when he had previously popped in for a Sunday brunch.
So you can understand why this occasion was out of character and completely out of the
blue.
It reaked of sabotage.
It was too outlandish to be anything else.
So the write-up came.
I was absolutely furious as
my suspicions that I'd been set up were confirmed. Both hope and sunny wouldn't let me get a
word in. I finally got their attention by stating in a raised voice that I had a right
to have my say. Surprised by my assertiveness, both went slid-eyed and rather smugly said,
go on, I pointed out to them that all of my guests love me. Several of my
regulars are Hispanic or African American and in nearly eight years of employment, never
once had I been accused of being prejudiced or bigoted. I also pointed out that one
of my regulars, a married female African American doctor, if my hands were free, would run
up to me and give me a hug, kiss me on the cheek, and hold me so tight I felt like I was being suffocated.
Hope and Sunny were having none of it.
I also pointed out that the drama starting liar who filed the complain against me had been
fired because she was caught.
By hope, snorring cocaine in the ladies' restroom, given her predisposition to lie, the validity
of her accusation should be questioned and the right of destroyed. Based off of their surprise expressions, it was clear I'd
expose their complicitness in creating a hostile work environment, but they refused to
take the baits. Completely done with it all, I flat out bellowed. I am not, nor have I
ever been a racist. I'm pretty sure the entire store heard me. Then I went for the Zinger that lingers.
You have no idea how many black men have been in my bed.
You could hear a pin drop.
Diamanda, the Creole Prep Cook was walking by the open office door when I let out that line
and she nearly doubled over with laughter.
There were two training managers facing away from us while they were on the computer doing
online courses.
They almost collapsed onto the keyboard then turned around looking at me with shocked
expressions on their faces.
Sunny's face went beet red.
Hope's face turned white and her eyes widened.
I said, you know what, hope?
Remember how you said that if I didn't like the way you ran things, I should quit.
Goodbye.
I didn't give them a chance to respond.
My shift was about to start in less than 7 minutes.
I took off my key fob, laid it on the safe, emptied my apron, put everything in a takeout
bag, did it in about face and walked out echoing.
Have fun trying to cover my shifts.
It was exhilarating and liberating all the same time.
It was like the end of private Benjamin when Goldie Han walked out of her wedding and
threw away her veil, except I've never won a dress. Just kidding, I have.
Aside from returning two weeks later to get my final paycheck, I have been set foot in there.
I have no reason to go back. I have a new job at a wonderful company with great bosses that
valued me as an employee and a person. I actually look forward to going to work now. I never thought
that was possible. Double plus, they don't expect me to be an emotionless robot. That was
our Slash Homelessness Compliance, and if you like this content, then be sure to follow
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